Wherever You Are

Summary: You realize that you don’t want to live without Kepa anymore.

Warning: Angsty beginning but fluffy ending bc all I seem to wanna write is angst these days lmao

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: Inspired by “Wherever You Are” by 5 Seconds of Summer. Also if anyone has requests feel free to send them my way! Right now I’m writing for Kepa Arrizabalaga and Christian Pulisic, but I may be adding Kai Havertz to the list soon! Also also shout out to the Puli girls for always being so supportive and constantly inspiring me to write every day 💙

“Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are.”

Kepa laid awake on his back, staring at the ceiling. He should’ve been asleep to get some well needed rest for his game the next day, but he couldn’t. His mind wandered aimlessly, just like it did every night. No matter what he did, all he could think about was that night, the scene playing on constant repeat whenever he close his eyes.

Your forehead was on Kepa’s, suitcase in hand. You knew once you walked through airport security, you wouldn’t be able to turn back no matter how much you wanted to.

“Tell me to stay. Just say the word and I’ll stay,” you choked as tears ran down your face.

He held your face in his hands, keeping you as close to him as he possibly could.

“You know I can’t, mi vida,” he said, trying to remain strong for you. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I can’t ask you to pass up just to stay here with me.”

You sobbed harder. He was right. Your dream company in Spain had accepted your application and you were set to start the week after. You’d known from a young age that this was all you ever wanted. Everything you’d done up until this point in your life was geared towards this job, and you finally had it after years of hard work and determination.

Kepa threw a wrench in those plans. You never anticipated falling in love along the way. The years you spent with him were some of the best moments of your life and you never wanted it to end. You didn’t know what the future would hold for you, but the only certain thing was that you wanted him in it.

You had to make a decision once your received the email. Kepa couldn’t just up and leave with you no matter how much he wanted to. His place was in London playing with the team he so dearly loved. But Kepa knew that this was your lifelong dream and wouldn’t let you give up on it just for him. You both wanted to go long distance, but with your work schedules it wouldn’t have been realistic to sustain a relationship anymore. You would be staying indefinitely in Spain and he would be indefinitely in England. Keeping a relationship would prevent the two of you from growing, and he never wanted to hold you back from the happiness he knew you deserved.

It absolutely broke your heart to know you couldn’t be with him. You wanted him as much as you wanted this job, but you couldn’t have both. Your head was telling you to suck it up and get on the plane for a job you’d longed for since you were a child. But your heart begged you to stay with Kepa. And you would’ve. He just needed to say the words and you would’ve given up everything for him.

Kepa couldn’t ask you to do that. And you knew he couldn’t.

He wiped the tears from under your eyes trying to memorize your face with the little time he had left with you.

“I promise one day I’ll find you again. I swear it. I promise I won’t stop until I find you,” he stated firmly.

“How can you know that? How do we know things won’t change between us?” you cried, desperate to hold onto him while you still could.

“Because you’re worth fighting for, and you will always be worth fighting for.”

Kepa softly kissed you, pouring all the love he had for you into it.

“Do you hear me? I’ll fight heaven and earth, all the gods in the sky, every higher power that could possibly exist if it means I get to be with you. I won’t ever give up on you, on us.”

The two of you stood in the terminal in your own world, holding on for as long as possible. You could feel time ticking away and you prayed it would stop just so the inevitable wouldn’t have to come.

The announcer’s voice over the speaker brought you back to your harsh reality. You were going on a plane to fulfill your dreams, leaving the love of your life behind to fulfill his. Time was finally up and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“I love you Y/N,” he said softly.

“I love you Kepa,” you cried, “so much.”

He kissed your forehead tenderly before kissing your lips, savoring what very well might have been your final time.

Reluctantly, the two of you stepped away from your hold. He handed you your bags, letting his fingers linger on yours ever so slightly. You could see the tears in his own eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Your heart broke even more knowing he wanted to be strong because you couldn’t be.

“Bye Kepa,” you said so softly it might as well have been a whisper.

He nodded his head, but you knew it meant two things: he was giving you the courage you needed to walk away and he was telling you that things were going to be okay.

And with a deep breath, you headed towards the security gates. You turned around to look at him one final time, tears still falling from your eyes. He gave you a small smile, both of your hearts breaking in that moment. With your heart feeling heavy, you broke his gaze and headed towards your destination.

Kepa stayed in the airport until he saw your plane taking off in the distance. He stared out the window longingly, finally releasing the emotions he was trying so desperately to suppress.

“Bye Y/N.”

Kepa relived that moment every night since you left almost two years ago. While you hadn’t blocked or unfollowed each other on social media, you hadn’t spoken since. It would’ve been too painful knowing you were so close yet so far out of his reach. Kepa would’ve given up on his own dreams to be with you. But you wouldn’t want that for him and he knew that, just as he didn’t want you to do the same. He wanted to be selfish, but more than anything he wanted to see you happy. And if you had to be out of his life to be happy and finally achieve everything you’d ever wanted, he would make that decision every time.

Kepa instead focused on his own career, putting his best onto the field. And it paid off, returning to his incredible form for both his club and country. Kepa had finally proved himself to be one of the best goalkeepers in Europe and gained the respect of both fans and critics alike. He’d won a few pieces of silverware, and he was only just getting started. He had regained his confidence on the pitch and it showed. He was so proud of how far he’d come despite all of his setbacks and his dreams were right within his grasp. Everything in his life was falling right into place. It was almost perfect.

Yet the one thing he wanted the most in this world, he couldn’t have. There weren’t any football trophies or medals in the world that could compare to the feeling of having you in his arms again. Every picture he’d taken with his awards only served as a reminder of what he had lost, who he had lost in the process. While it wasn’t necessarily a decision he regretted, it didn’t make the thought hurt any less.

Kepa never really tried to move on. He couldn’t forget about you, nor did he want to. While his teammates attempted to convince him to go on other dates, he knew that no one could even come close you. You weren’t together anymore, but Kepa’s heart was still entirely yours whether you knew it or not. He didn’t know what the future held for the two of you, and that was the worst part. Not knowing if he was waiting for something that would never come or if the right time was coming and he just didn’t realize it yet. But he knew he desperately wanted you to come home to him.

Spain had been an absolutely incredible experience for you. From the moment you landed, you fell head over heels for the country. You learned so much about yourself and gained memories that you knew would last a lifetime. Your dream job turned out to be everything you wished for and more. You wanted to spend forever there and you easily could have. It seemed your future was almost set in stone displayed right in front of you.

But life in Spain was almost perfect. It almost felt right. It was almost your forever home. That word and that feeling kept surfacing. Almost, almost, almost. This was everything you dreamed about for as long as you could remember. So why did you constantly feel like something was missing?

You stared at the pouring rain through the window as your taxi dropped you off in front of a familiar house. You didn’t know if this was a good decision, but for once you decided to listen to your instincts and follow your heart. You grabbed your bags, thanked the driver, and walked up to the house.

As you walked closer and closer to the door, your hands began to shake, your heartbeat increasing with every step. There was no turning back at this point, and there was no telling what was going to come of this encounter. But you weren’t going to back down. You weren’t letting this go without a fight.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the door. You heard soft murmurs and the sound of footsteps before the door opened.

To say Kepa was stunned to see you drenched outside his home was an understatement. The moment he saw your face, his heart stopped. His brain stopped functioning properly and he struggled to catch his breath. You two stared at each other, not a word being exchanged as your minds raced.

“I’m sorry I just showed up unexpected like this but I needed to tell you this and it couldn’t wait any longer,” you said to him after a minute of silence.

Kepa couldn’t find his words, so he just nodded his head to let you continue.

“You were right. The job was incredible. Spain was incredible. I loved every moment of it and I had absolutely everything I wanted. My dream job, amazing friends. It was what I dreamed about and more. Everything was perfect.”

You took a deep breath, your voice beginning to waver as you spoke on.

“But every day I could feel something was wrong. No matter what I did or where I went, it always felt like something was missing. I thought maybe it was homesickness, maybe it was restlessness, anxiety from a new job and a new experience. But the longer I stayed, the worse the feeling got. I kept trying to ignore it and move past it, but nothing worked because I knew why I felt that way.”

You couldn’t hold the tears in anymore, letting them mix with the rain that was currently running down your face. You lifted your head and looked right into Kepa’s eyes for the first time since you left that day.

“I didn’t have you. I had everything I could’ve dreamed about, and it all paled in comparison because all I could think about was how much I wanted you, how much I wanted to be with you, how much I missed you.”

You let out a sob, trying your best to stay strong.

“And God Kepa, I miss you so fucking much. I know we agreed that I couldn’t just stay behind, but I’ve thought about that moment every day for two years and how much I fucking regret leaving you that day. I fought with myself, trying not to call you every night just to hear your voice. I avoided watching matches so I wouldn’t see if you’d moved on or not. I tried to convince myself that I was ready to let you go.”

You were shaking, but it wasn’t because of the rain. Kepa just let you go on.

“But I lied. I lied to myself because I knew I would never stop loving you. And I couldn’t just let you go without fighting for us. I’ve realized that I can’t live without you anymore. Spain was perfect, but I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”

You hesitantly stepped closer to him.

“I know it’s been a long time and things have changed, but I can’t give up without fighting for this. So tell me to go and you’ll never see me again. But if you tell me to stay, I promise I’m never leaving ever again.”

Kepa didn’t even hesitate. In one swift motion, he gently cupped your cheeks with his hands and for the first time in two years, he kissed you. It wasn’t a small peck, but a kiss that conveyed every emotion he’d ever felt in the time you were gone. There would never be enough words in the world to properly describe how much he needed you in his life and this was the only thing he could do. You kissed him back with the same energy, tears streaming down both of your faces.

Kepa pulled back from you to look deep in your eyes before kissing you again, much gentler this time. He wanted to savor every bit of this moment, one that’d he’d dreamt about every night since you left. He didn’t want perfect either. He didn’t need it when he had you because you were more than enough for him, and you always would be.

He pulled away again, this time choosing to rest his forehead on yours.

“I made you a promise that day,” Kepa whispered, “a promise that I would never give up on you. I said I would fight even God above if it meant being with you. And I will never ever go back on my word. I would wait the rest of my life just to be with you at the end of it all.”

Kepa pulled you as close as you physically could, planning on doing so for the rest of your lives.

“So stay with me now. You don’t have to be away anymore. You’re home now.”

“I love you Kepa. And I never stopped loving you,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N. I never stopped loving you and I never will. Because it doesn’t matter how far you are from me or what universe we’re a part of or how much time has passed. It’s you. And it will always be you wherever you are. And nothing will ever change that.”

The two of you stood in the doorway, your hands were covering his and foreheads pressed together as you both tried to memorize the other. You held each other tightly, just as you did in the airport all those years ago. Only this time, you weren’t begging time to stop so you can be together just for a little longer because you would have each other forever. And as Kepa kissed you, you knew you would never have to say goodbye ever again.

Taglist: @neverinadream @pulisicsgirl @masonspulisic @bracedes @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti @thoseboysinblue @pianoisland @lovelynikol16 @chelseagirl98

Tags

tears oh my god this is so beautifully written 🥺 petition for more kepa content it’s what we love to see on dash

More Posts from Fernandezology and Others

fernandezology

2 years ago

PIÙ FORTE COGLIONAZZI, PIÙ FORTE

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fernandezology

2 years ago

mon cherié -benjamin pavard

summary: both you and benjamin are insufferably stubborn,which makes this “hot and cold” situation unbearable. if destiny wants to see you together,who is gonna be the first one to stop acting like you hate each other?

author’s note: thank you for all your support and requests so far! this is the longest piece i wrote so far and i really put my heart and energy into this one. let me know what do you think <3

word count: 2,5 k

warnings: angst,betrayal and mentions of cheating

What is it about us that we always want something we can’t have? Or someone. I had never craved anyone’s attention like this before. Not until I met him.

He was always there,yet so far out of my reach. Almost like a toy you will reach for at top shelves in stores. Unreachable for me. I never knew where I stood with him. One thing was sure- he was the one. He had to be. If not him,then who? I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. No amount of love movies could ever prepare me for that fatal attraction. Nothing compares to experiencing that moment. Destiny wanted us together,but did you?

From that moment on, he was the last thing I would have on my mind before going to sleep. It even got to a point where I couldn’t even escape him while I was sleeping. And when I wasn’t seeing him in my dreams,I would daydream about him. Not that I would ever admit that to him. I was too proud to do it. Eventually,that would cost us time we could already spend together.

As the time went by, I was convinced that falling for someone this hard is a form of self- destruction.It just had to be. Raw feelings and this catastrophic timing made the most painful combination. How is it even possible to love someone that much without really knowing them? I just saw right through you. For what you really are, and I still love every single part of you. Even flaws. That’s what made you so irresistible. Some said that’s because I had a savior complex and you needed to be “saved”.

The truth is- I needed you. Needed to be saved by your love. If anything,I loved your flaws more than anything. You wouldn’t be who you are without them. You desperately wanted to give off the impression of someone mysterious to everyone else and always leave them wondering. Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? What are you really like? Do you have someone? What rumors about you are true? For a good period of time,those rumors left me wondering too.

I scrolled through her post and it wasn’t because I was envious. The only thing I want for you is to be happy,even if it doesn’t include me. At least that’s what I was trying to convince myself. It worked for awhile. It got draining eventually and I was trying my best to hide it. I felt so pathetic for crying over someone who probably doesn’t even think about me. Why would you? I clearly did my best to push you away from me. We were never friends,but certainly not this either. How did it even come to this? From sitting together in classes and making jokes to not being able to stand each other.

I had to contradict everything you said. For some reason,even though you were shy,you always had something to say about everything. Truthfully,sometimes everyone found it frustrating. What did you wanna prove? It seemed like you wanted to be a teachers pet and always be against everyone else because you are above us. Straight A’s,tall,good-looking,popular among girls.. Even your football career seemed to be going in the right direction. What else is there to prove really?

Once again,I saw right through your facade. You wanted approval from others,which is something you always seek. Maybe not actively,but you love to feel accepted. You loved to make people laugh,but honestly, nothing about this situation was funny at all. Maybe destiny doesn’t wanna see us together after all.

Where did it all take a wrong turn for us? If „we“ ever were a thing after all. Everyone noticed the way we looked at each other. Self-proclaimed enemies don't look at each other with lust in their eyes. If I had to point out one specific event, it would be the moment where I comforted you about one of the rumors that was going around.

Not because I wanted to humiliate you or find out the truth so everyone can gossip about it and talk behind your back, just like they always do. Some nice „friends“ you have. It was because I wanted to let you know I'm not that naive to believe everything I hear or read.

And most importantly- to let you know I'm here for you. Someone you can rely on, shoulder to cry. I see you and your good heart. Your good intentions. The rumor has it that you were sending inappropriate texts to some girls while you were with that girl. There was no way anyone would want to hurt her, especially not you. She looks beautiful and kind, she probably gives you butterflies. I was having sleepless nights over thinking about how to bring that up, but let's face it-that's not something you just casually bring up in random conversation. Who in their right mind would just ask „Hey, did you send these inappropriate messages to girls while you had a girlfriend? „

Nobody, except for me. I was waiting for an opportunity to ask you about this for days, weeks even. Nothing seemed like the right time to ask you about it and I wanted it to be as natural as possible. Somehow, after all that overthinking, I brought it up in the most idiotic way possible.

I noticed you were walking home alone after school and stopped you. After so many years, I still don't know what got into me. All I know is that I suddenly felt like my heart was in my throat. Even though I was practicing what to say in the mirror so many times, I went completely off the script.

Not the first time we have been off the script, is it?

„Hey, can I just show you something if you have a second?”

„Of course, what is it?”

„Uhm, I don't know are you aware, but they are talking about how you were sending some questionable messages to a lot of girls.”

„Wait, what?”

„So you don't know? There are screenshots going around…”

„I have to go or I will be late for a game, but if you can, please send me those screenshots.”

„Good luck and I will.”

„Thank you. „

This definetly felt wrong. It felt like I was interrogating you for a „crime“ that has no correlation to me whatsoever. It wasn't my place to ask you that, but since I already did, I had to proceed with it and send you screenshots.

Nothing for hours.

Followed by „seen at 3:27 am“.

That's what happens when you go off the script,but that's life. We can't retake this scene and try again.

Now it's up to you to decide what comes next. At the very least, you could've thanked me for letting you know, but no. Radio silence at your end.

After that conversation, I wouldn't even consider us „enemies“. I would consider ourselves as strangers because, at the end of the day, that is what we are. Who was I fooling? I will never know what you are thinking, who you are when you are alone at night with your thoughts. My friends noticed that you were looking at me every time I looked away from you. They didn’t know about our conversation, but even then, they knew you looked like you were so desperate to say something. Still no progress and let's face it- there will never be one.

It's not like I didn't try to occupy myself with other things, other people. All of my attempts worked out only for a short amount of time. Not suprising considering they never left significant mark on my life. Looking back on it, I should've risk it, confess it to you and risk a rejection. It couldn't be that bad if it happened sooner, right? They say time heals open wounds of a broken heart, but what would be a medicine for however you wanna describe this? All my friends are tired of hearing of how much I miss you and I got sick of thinking about you all the time. It almost felt pathetic.

I needed something, well someone to get you off my mind. Funnily enough, my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, looked very similiar to you. It's safe to say I have a type. Brown eyes and curly brown hair. Very predictable of me. If I only predicted that so called replacements don't work out. If anything, that cheap version of you only made my life even more miserable with constant lying and gaslighting.

To make the whole story more embarassing, he broke up with me right before Christmas and ruined my favorite time of the year. Looking back on it, it was a blessing in disguise. There is just one thing I will forever regret if you put aside the fact that I endured his gaslighting for months. He was my first kiss and just looking back on it makes me physically ill. It's such a repulsive memory. Thanks God I complemently blocked that out of my memory.

On the other hand, I don't think he will block you out of his memory because he was also one of those that were envious of you, your talent, popularity and attractivness. Imagine if he knew he was your supossed replacement… Failed to even be the mediocre version of himself. He is free to add me on the list of girls who he didn't satisfy in any way. Not to wish bad upon anyone, but he doesn’t deserve to feel happiness after what he has done. Not to mention he most likely cheated too because I saw him with other girl on new year's party. Dissapointing but normal procedure by his standards.

Wanna hear something that is not a normal procedure in our story? Him sitting next to me in bus on our week long school trip. In the middle of the night as well. Everyone were asleep except few of us. I didn’t even notice him at first because I was got lost in my thoughts while looking through window. Night was so peaceful and you could see stars since sky was so clear, not a single cloud in the sight. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention and I just assumed it's one of my friends that was sitting behind me.

„Do you mind if I sit here? „

„No, go ahead. „

„It's a bit crowded back there so I hope you don't mind that I came. „

„It's okay, don't worry. „

„Why are you awake? „

„I could ask you the same thing. „

„I asked you first. „

„And you came to my seat so your rules don't apply here, monsieur . „

„Monsieur? I'm not that old,mademoiselle”

„Sorry, your dark cicrles are telling me a different story. „

„Hey, no need for that. „

„I'm just kidding, but seriously, why are you awake?“

„Because I can't fall asleep. „

„Really? „

„Really. That's why I'm here. „

„Huh? Am I supossed to tuckle you in and tell you a goodnight story? „

„I mean, if you want to… „

„Just go to sleep. „

„That's very rude of you, mon cherié. „

„What did you say? „

„Hm? Nothing, you are hearing stuff. „

„Goodnight then. „

„Goodnight. „

Well, that was suprising. His presence and the smell of his perfume were so comforting. It was almost like I needed him to fall asleep peacefully. To be more exact, it seemed like he needed me too.

Why are we each others safe place when all we do is bring chaos into each others lives?

Overthinking hit me again while he was leaning more and more towards me. This probbably doesn’t mean anything, but I would've lied if I said this isn't gonna disturb me. I was finally moving on and then this had to happen? How convinient.

„Sometimes I was conviced you are doing this on puprose. What else could it be? I just wanted you to make up your mind and put both of us out of this misery. I was hoping I will never ever come across you after high school. „

„I'm sorry, but that will never work out for you. Your shoulder probabbly went numb because I was all over you, I'm sorry. „

„Not just that, you were also drooling in your sleep. „

„That's embarassing. I hope nobody saw it. „

„Not only did they see you, they took pictures too. „

„Put that in a frame. But jokes aside, why did it took us so long? „

„Maybe because both of us are so insufferably stubborn? „

„That's what makes it more fun. „

„Suffering back then wasn't that fun, to be honest. „

„If this is suffering, then I wanna suffer forever with you. „

„Wow, so romantic of you. „

„Why are you rolling your eyes? I'm being serious. „

„It's just a natural reaction when I see you. „

„Are you thinking what I'm thinking or? „

„Oh stop winking at me and be serious for once. „

„Sorry, what were you saying? „

„I was about to say that I will never forgive you that you will never be my first kiss. „

„What?? I thought I was special? You are such a traitor. „

„Turns out you weren't the only one that was drooling over me. „

„Just so you know, that kiss doesn’t count. „

„So which one does? „

„This one. „

And he was right. That is the only that will ever matter.

Tags

Spotify enemies to lovers benjamin pavard footballer x reader footballer x y/n footballer x you benjamin pavard x reader benjamin pavard imagines benjamin pavard one shots bayern fc

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fernandezology

2 years ago

Comforting words

or rather mouth

warning: smut

——————————————————————————

You are watching El Clásico, supporting your boyfriend from the stands. Barcelona had won the past 3 El Clásicos and you were confident they can take the fourth. But as time went on, things just started getting worse. The game ended 0-4 and you knew this was going to be hell with Gavi at home. You drove back home alone, escaping the tension that Gavi’s presence would make. And he will probably take hits time in the locker room.

Quite some time has passed before you heard the front door slam open from the couch. You looked at the direction where Gavi is supposed to emerge from and nervously waited. You heard him drop his bag and take off his shoes before appearing in your sight.

“Hey” you said softly but he didn’t even look at you, just stormed off upstairs. You sighed to yourself. You left him to calm down a bit in the shower, before he made his way downstairs, sitting next to you. You scooched over to him, slowly running your finger trough his hair.

“Baby, I know you’re disappointed. You played well and Vinicius was provoking you, you didn’t do anything”. You said, still stroking his hair, trying to make him talk to you. Gavi was silent, looking at the floor, jaw clenching.

“Can you at least look at me?” you asked, now a bit irritated yourself because of his childish behaviour. He suddenly gripped your wrist that was in his hair, and pulled you forward. His other hand grabbed your cheeks, making you look at him.

“Listen babe, your words won’t bring back the fucking 4 goals we concided. So If you really want to comfort me, better make me cum” he said, gripping his dick trough his shorts. He smashed his lips against yours, it was agressive, frustration and anger seeping from it. One hand grabbed yours and guided it to his erection that was straining against his shorts.

He bit your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth. You locked eyes with him, hand slowly stroking him over the material. You started kissing his neck, one hand pulling his shorts down. You sunk to your knees, Gavi’s eyes carefuly watching you.

You grabbed his now exsposed dick, giving it a few strokes before Gavi’s hand replaced yours. He guided his dick to your mouth,smearing precum from the tip on your lips. “Open up”

You took him in your mouth, his hand instantly grabbing your hair, pulling you down. You didn’t expect that much of him in your mouth and you gagged a bit.

“What? Can’t take my whole dick down your throat? I thought you wanted to make me feel good?” He said, taunting you. You looked up at him from your position, slowly moving your head up and down. Gavi threw his head back, letting out a moan before gripping your hair tigther.

“Faster”

You listened and started moving your head faster, stroking what your mouth couldn’t reach.

“You’re such a good girl, sucking me off after a loss. Are you gonna let me fuck you nicely later?”

You hummed against him, making him groan. Gavi started bucking his hips up, stopping your movements by pulling your hair once again.

“Keep still, I want to fuck your mouth”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, smudging your mascara completely.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this, such a slut for me” he said, his thrusts now sloppy.

“I’m gonna cum down your throat babe, take it all” he said, thrusting a few more times before stilling his hips and cumming in your mouth. Gavi pulled you off of his now sensitive dick, cursing under his breath. You crawled up to him, a bit of his cum still left on your lips, and his thumb picked it up before pushing itself into your mouth. You sucked it dry, stroking his now sweaty hair once again. He grazed your mascara stained cheek.

“You really do have a comforting mouth” he said, letting out a breathy laugh “Sorry for acting the way I did”

“Don’t worry about it, after all you made my panties wet” you said, smirking at him.

——————————————————————————

Tags

wow pablo gavi fic rec all i could think about after that disaster yesterday tbh

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fernandezology

2 years ago

Sorry,did you see that @ julianalvarezzz posted a “joke” about how she would celebrate if some Chelsea fan died at 16? They deleted these posts now but claimed that she deserves it and it’s funny when other people say it so it should be okay when she says it…

do you maybe have screenshots? if that’s true,it’s really fucked up and not something to joke about. at the end of the day,it’s just football,chill.

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fernandezology

2 years ago

“now he know. he knows now. “😭😭

golden boot winner everyone!!

Oooh to be a fly in that dressing room

Tags

petition for keeping up with premier league imagine all the locker room drama😭 stop the absolute drama.. g: avl v ars

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fernandezology

2 years ago

losing to arsenal is painful but jorginho being part of the arsenal team that we’re losing to is soul destroying

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fernandezology

2 years ago

gavi fluff watching a horror movie <333333

late night confessions - pablo gavi

pairing: pablo gavi x reader

author’s note: sorry this took awhile,but thank you for request! got a little carried away with this one and gave it a little twist. the end is purposefully like that to indicate she fell asleep. i hope you will like it<3

word count: 1,7 k

some people love to consume fear.

it was no secret you were one of them ever since… well ever since you can remember. you would hide in closets to scare your family,and when you would play hide and seek with your friends- it was a real nightmare to find you. nobody really had a clue from where did this love for fear came from.

you craved all kinds of frightening experiences. at the same time, fear is not exactly a positive emotion. trembling while darkness pushes in around us- this is not a feeling we would describe as pleasant. then,what is it about fear that you are so drawn to? most of people go to great lengths to avoid it. what better time to get scared than in the spookiest time of the year?

all of this began on halloween of 2014. haunted theme park opened near your city and, of course, you begged your parents to let you go. they let you go since they thought some of your older friends will be there too. all of you loved to watch american horror story,but to be fair the majority of them watched it because of evan peters. who could blame them? it’s hard to resist a man who looks like he didn’t sleep in thousand years.

looking back on this, some of your friends were confused when you showed them picture of pablo since he doesn’t have any dark circles. other than watching american horror story,you also loved to read stephen king. you upgraded on him after you read everything that r.l. stine published.

horror is designed to make one afraid because it is advantageous to our survival. the main reason all of you wanted to visit this theme park it is because one of scary houses was based from murder house in american horror story. who could resist experiencing that fear first hand? certainly not you. if you only knew how real horrifying that night is gonna get,you would never go anywhere near that cursed place.

one of your friends was nowhere to be seen. none of you wanted to admit it, but you started to panic. luckily, your instincts were telling you something went terribly wrong here because she wasn’t really type to scare anyone. you were looking everywhere and asking people did they see her.

and then it happened.

someone was walking towards her near exit and grabbed her hand. no running,no drama.

and then she tapped you on shoulder. turns out she was waiting on her revenge to scare you. it was a relief she was safe, but you couldn’t see horrors the way you used to before. you stopped watching them completely and for some reason you couldn’t go to sleep without checking is everything locked multiple times.

old habits die hard and to this day you still did this every night,without exception. pablo didn’t see it as anything unusual because he had no clue about the backstory. one night two of you decided to watch something on netflix. both of you are always so indecisive when it comes to choosing a movie,so you decided to use “suprise me” feature. it was safe to say that this wasn’t maybe the best idea. watching the shining on stormy night? not really what you had in mind,but you didn’t wanna say anything because there was certain advantages. shamelessly snuggling to him? perfect. pretending you fell asleep so he can carry you to bed? sounds like you have a plan b.

you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him frowning while he pressed play. he always asked so many questions while watching and it was very annoying to everyone around him,but you didn’t mind it.

“why would they agree to be in the middle of nowhere? someone will kill them,this is so predictable. is that what happens at the end?”

“just watch and you will understand.”

“can i ask you in case i don’t understand?”

“of course. you would ask anyway”,you said jokingly hoping he keeps asking to keep you distracted from the fact you are watching a horror after so many years.

to your suprise,he didn’t ask that many questions as he usually does. is this really that one time he decides to be quiet,you thought to yourself.

luckily for you,his silence didn’t last long.

“what does REDRUM means?”

“it’s murder backwards.”

“wait,from where did that bruise came from? did his dad really hit him? why are we watching this again?”

“it wasn’t his dad his time,but he did break his arm while trying to discipline him. if you are scared we can just turn it off and go to bed.”

“no,i’m not scared but i think you are and this is how you are trying to lure me in.”

you had no intention of turning to plan b,but maybe it was time. even though he said this jokingly,this was your chance to escape.

“i think i’m going to bed,but you are free to continue watching this- i’m not luring you.”

“wait are you angry at me or something? what’s wrong?”

you continued to walk to your room,pretending you didn’t hear him. it felt so wrong because after all,he never ignored you. and who likes to be ignored? you were hoping he is not gonna think too much of it and assume you just didn’t hear him.

you should’ve known him better by now because is so attentive about you. of course he is gonna come to you. that is pablo you fell in love with.

“what’s wrong,did i say something?”

“no,you didn’t- i just wanted to go to sleep.”

“you can’t fool me. i know that look and obviously something happened,but for the life of me i can’t figure out what is it.”

“i promise you,it’s nothing. could you come here and play with my hair?”

“anything for you princesa.”

part of you wanted to finally tell him this and the other part of you didn’t want to disturb this peaceful silence while he was pushing your hair behind ear. you closed your eyes,hoping this is how you are gonna fall asleep.

“aha! i think i know what it is. it’s because you were annoyed with how much i’m talking during the movie. i’m so sorry-“

“you are annoying,but i love every second of it.”

“so it’s not that? then i really don’t know what it is,can you please tell me? you already know i will annoy you until you give up and tell me.”

“in that case,i have to accept defeat. i don’t wanna tell you because it’s a bit embarrassing and honestly,i don’t think i’ve told this to anyone.”

“i won’t pressure if you don’t want to say it but whenever you are ready,i’m here to listen. trust has to be earned and i don’t expect you to tell me everything,but i hope you know you and your secrets are safe with me.”

“of course i trust you,please don’t even think it’s about that at all. you already did more than enough to earn my trust and love. it’s just hard to talk about this,even though it’s always in the back of my mind,somehow i don’t think about it that often as i used to.”

despite popular belief,he can be calm,composed and a good listener. he was all ears and nodded,encouraging you to continue. there is no easy way to say this,other than to rip off the band-aid.

“you were right- i was luring you to go to bed. it’s because i didn’t want to watch horror,since i didn’t watch any horror in years.”

“that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. why didn’t you just say you don’t want to watch it?”

“to be fair,you did a decent job of distracting me with questions. i thought i’m over it,but it turns out i’m not really. these movies just remind me of that period when someone almost kidnapped one of my friends.”

“oh… i didn’t expect that. how did that even happen?”

“it happened on halloween when we went to a theme park. mainly because of a haunted house that was like one from american horror story. all of a sudden she was nowhere to be seen and we thought she isn’t type to scare anyone- that was more my style. then i saw someone identical to her near the exit. someone grabbed her hand and walked out with her and grabbed her hand. it looked completely normal. no running,no drama. turns out that wasn’t her,she was just waiting on her turn to scare me.

“i can’t even imagine how scary that must’ve been. luckily it wasn’t her and all of you are okay.”

“yeah,but it made me think how many people get kidnapped and no one suspects a thing. you never know what’s happening around you for sure. and it didn’t help that at that time i was reading and watching horrors.”

“i would never connect you to horrors honestly,it could be because you are a complete opposite- a dream.”

“cliché. but i love it.”

“and i love you.”

“i love you too. now if you wanna play fair,you have to tell me one secret.”

“okay,but you have to promise you won’t laugh.”

“i will try.”

“i used to be terrified of the gremlins and i thought they will come to my room after midnight.”

“that’s reasonable,even i hated them. “

“no way,you are fearless. you are just saying it so we can be afraid together.”

“no,i’m serious! and besides,there is no such thing as being afraid when i’m with you.”

“so you won’t check are doors locked million times anymore?”

“i will try not to,but you know how they say: old habits die hard.”