i was born from a lab experiment in which researchers worked to synthesize a person who “deserved it” (paper fails to clarify what was meant by this)
the scientists used to enter my enclosure with radiation suits on. they were advised not to get close to me cause if i bit them or they hung around me too long, they could get a lethal dose of radiation.
but some of them still would pet me when they pumped me full of chemicals. some would leave parts of their lunch for me near the entrance to my enclosure. the way some of them looked at me...i think they forgot that i was just a reanimated corpse of a wolfdog that had been be so modified it could barely be considered a wolfdog anymore. i much more resembled some kind of alien or shapeshifter.
still though...some of the scientists wanted and still want the best for me. even now that they remotely monitor me.
sometimes i can hear their radio calls in my head. make observations about my behavior. giving me migraines to deter me from getting too close to humans. making my body hurt and ache when i stray too far from where Im meant to be.
i wish my current environment was more like my enclosure. nice and foggy and chilly. mostly wastelands expect for a few sparce shrubs and dead trees. i used to dig burrows in the dirt and sleep underground. i miss the smell of dirt.
memory is a monster
the mountain goats/waste isolation pilot plant warning/john irving/allison meir/waste isolation pilot plant warning/arthur miller/the mountain goats
i can't explain how weird it is to know i have only been aware of my existence for a short time but have memories of stuff that happened to me over like a....10 to 30 year span of time.
like no its not a lot of memories and its not a lot of detail but gonna be honest, remembering broad strokes of it is very strange.
also uhhh adapting to human body...very strange. don't like it at all. can see why the main system has such problems and feelings over it...