I Can't Give You The Stars

I'm just the culmination of all things I hate

The urge to slice my fucking neck open.

cutting isnt enough i need to blow my head off

you think I'm special? no honey, I'm special NEEDS

I don't need therapy, I need to die

Your love is like a black hole

As I fall, time slows down

Until I reach the singularity

And it completely absorbs me

You could be digging my grave

And I'd hand you the shovel

And I'd light myself on fire

Just to keep you warm

You could put a gun to my temple

And I'd tell you to pull the trigger

Because I’d take anything you could give me

Even if it’s just pain and suffering

I’d take anything

As long as it’s you who gives it to me

I was never meant to go through this much character development

I don't want to get better anymore, it's pointless

Death is an old friend.

She rocked my cradle when I was a baby. Held my hand as I took my first steps. Sat with me at lunch in school when no one else did.

She never says anything, but I understand her nevertheless. She finds ways to comfort me in silence.

I thought she was cold and distant at first. Cruel, even. When she tore apart families, orphaned young children, made parents have to bury their hearts along with their babies.

But she also provided peace to the ones who have been sick for a long time. Brought justice to those who wronged others. Ended much suffering.

She's kind and cruel at the same time.

She arranges visits with my grandpa sometimes if I ask nicely. He doesn't trust her, but he likes visiting me. He manages to put up with her long enough.

She's always there for me. Even when no one else is. Especially when they all leave. She visits me when I sleep, giving me a preview of what awaits.

She tells me my time will come soon enough. I'm glad. I find solace in her cold arms.