Head Archivist Sasha AU:

DC Super-Heroes by Vincenzo Riccardi.

John Constantine is seventeen, angry and entirely ready to lose himself in the occult.

The open book in front of him details a particularly nasty ritual, but not one he’s unwilling to pay the price for. He bought the book from the shop on Eaton street, ‘Occult Exposition’. It’s not a nice shop. The clientele tend to be even dodgier than John and the owner always goes out of his way to make him as uncomfortable as possible.

John supposes that that’s just the price of authenticity.

The book is authentic. He knows that. One of the first things John learned was that the fakes always do well when it comes to flair but never quite catch the essence of a true ritual.

Fully set up in the back garden, John begins his ritual.

He chants and moves and shifts his thoughts in all the right directions. He slits the throat of a rabbit and cuts out the eye of the hawk that caught it. He spins a web of spider silk around the remains and watches it turn into a spun glass cage that contains something entirely different.

John lifts the same knife he used to cut out the hawks eyes and slit the rabbits throat, ready to plunge it into the beating heart the glass now contains.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” a voice calls out from behind him.

John spins around with his knife at the ready to defend himself. Instead if someone attacking him all John sees is a beautiful girl leaning against the dirty wall of his garden shed.

“Are you sure you want to stick around until the police come arrest you for trespassing?” he snarls, caught off guard.

The girl has the gall to roll her eyes. “As if you would call the police.” Considering the garden stinks of weed John supposes that the girl may have a point. “And anyway, I’m just giving you some sound advice. Nothing malicious about me at all.”

John narrows his eyes. “There aren’t many people who offer advice for free.”

“Well maybe I’m just feeling generous today.” the girl says with a grin. The smile drops promptly. “The blood rune won’t work, so you’re just going to be compelled to rip your heart out and eat it. Do you want to rip your heart out and eat it?”

John scoffs even as he sends the blood rune an uncertain look. “The rune is fine.”

The girl shoots him a withering look. “It has to be virgin's blood.”

“It is vir-“ John pauses. Resets. “Oh shit.”

“What? Are you still feeling lucky?”

“Fuck off.” John says on reflex. Then, “Thanks for telling me though. That could’ve been nasty.”

The girl finally smiles properly. Broad and shining and even John is forced to admit to himself that it’s a beautiful smile. “You’re very welcome. My name's Zatanna.” she says, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“John.”

“I know,” she says with a wink as they clasp hands. “If you ever want a little more sound advice then just give me a call. Promise I’m a better option than you ever you got that book from.”

John raises an eyebrow. “Not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but what’s put you in such a sharing mood?”

“I said I was feeling generous.” Her expression softens. “I think you’re going to be powerful. The kind of powerful that’s going to get people killed if you don’t know how to handle it. Call me when you’re in trouble.”

When she finishes speaking a wind summons itself up around her. Twisting and twirling until she’s stood in the centre of a spinning tornado. The speed of the wind reaches a climax and dissipates all of a sudden, leaving behind no sign of Zatanna.

John takes a step towards the space she used to occupy and spots something on the ground. It’s a business card. Pristine white with edges sharp enough to cut through flesh. On the card is a name, ‘Zatanna Zatara’, and a phone number.

There are two ‘x’s handwritten below the number and they make John feel oddly warm.

“Fuck.” he says to empty air. “Fuck.”

He turns back to his aborted ritual and starts cleaning up the blood.

WonderTrash96

Cassie is explaining to Kon and Bart some of the reasons why Wonder Woman is, without doubt, the greatest hero of this age. They’re both too tired from the mission they just went on to leave so Cassie’s had a captive audience to lecture about her favourite topic for the past half hour.

She’s having, quite frankly, a fantastic time.

As she’s moving on to her next point and Bart and Kon are letting out identical groans Tim comes in and starts making a coffee. For a moment Cassie wonders if she might be able to drag Tim into the audience of her presentation, he’s probably just as tired from work as Kon and Bart are from their mission, but then she realises Tim’s already listening.

This wouldn’t shock her, for all his flaws Tim can be an excellent listener at times, but Tim isn’t wearing a listening sort of expression. He’s looking at Cassie with the sort of complete shock that only belongs on the faces of burglars caught in the act, mouth hanging slightly open and eyes rounder than can be natural. She’s about to ask him what’s up. She’s about to check to see if he just had some world shattering revelation that’s going to save them all a world of hurt in the near future, but then Tim says under his breath, so quiet Cassie almost doesn’t hear, “WonderTrash96” and Cassie is suddenly worried about very different things.

She takes a moment to curse her twelve year old self, well thought out arguments as to why as a hero Wonder Woman really is beyond reproach and all, for being idiotic enough to run a fan blog and not anticipate that it would come back to haunt her later on.

Then, before Cassie can curse her twelve year old self too thoroughly, she has the thought that Tim would have to know her childhood fan blog very well to recognise an argument she made there years ago. Then she remembers the semi-regular discourse she used to get in with a batman fan blog and how Tim has said a lot of the exact same things as that blog used to.

Cassie bolts upright, her eyes narrowing. “You” she hisses.

The two of them look at each other for a second, reliving years of vitriol in a moment.

Tim shakes himself and in an instant he looks normal again. “I would like to propose we never mention this ever again for the sake of both our reputations.”

Cassie nods slowly, relaxing back into the couch. “I have always loved a good state of mutually assured destruction.”

Tim gives a short, sharp nod in return and leaves with his coffee. Kon and Bart both look a little like they might want to ask what that was about but are too tired to do so. There’s a moment of silence before Cassie comes back to herself.

“Along with her contributions to the 1983 United Nations summit-” she starts, talking over Kon and Bart’s groans and absolutely not thinking about the level of dirt she and Tim have on each other now.

~

That night, Cassie gets messaged on an account she hasn’t touched since she was fourteen.

(22:34) I can’t believe you haven’t come up with better arguments since you were twelve.

(22:36) fuck off She types back.

She’s grinning before she even hits send.

Stiles Stilinski is just like Lydia in all the wrong ways.

His thoughts move as fast as hers, sometimes faster, and it’s the first time someone else’s brain has measured up to hers. It makes her hate him. It makes her despise him. His existence upsets Lydia’s painstakingly constructed social hierarchy where she’s always meant to be the smartest person in the room.

She is the smartest person in the room. Most of the time. There are just rare occasions, few and far between, where Stiles will do better on a test than her. Or he’ll give a presentation and clearly understand the material better than she does, even if he does do a shit job at presenting it.

Sometimes she’ll look around the room and wonder how everyone can be so stupid. How she can be surrounded by people who think so slowly that they’re actually having trouble comprehending things that are so obvious.

Whenever she does that she always finds Stiles looking straight at her, like he’s thinking the exact same thing.

It only makes her hate him more.

~

Jackson Whittemore is just like Lydia in all the right ways.

He wants to be better than everyone. He wants it like it’s everything. Like to be lesser is death. Like to be lesser is hell.

Lydia has always felt the exact same way.

It’s refreshing, at first. For someone to ache for power like she does. The fact that the two of them are the only people who need control like they need air is probably the reason they actually achieve it in the first place.

She supposes that the fact they’re both beautiful and smart and mean doesn’t hurt.

It takes a long time for Lydia to love Jackson. It’s something that happens in an instant. Even when they started dating it was more an arrangement of mutual convenience, something they did because they both wanted to be the best and becoming a team was simply the next step in achieving that. But after they’ve been dating for a while Jackson looks at Lydia and she feels utterly understood in a way she had always thought might be impossible from the perspective of a mind that doesn’t move as fast as hers.

It puts fire in her bones and Lydia decides that she never wants to stop burning.

~

Far later, Lydia supposes that it isn’t so surprising that she ends up having loved them both.

She always has adored her reflection.

Badger Cereal Fic Recs

I am heinously picky when it comes to fanfic, so for those of ya’ll hungry for badger cereal and in need of good fics: COME GET YA’LL’S FOOD. 

1. (we are) the fault line by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid . This is my number one favorite dp fic of all time, tho… it’s not technically badger cereal? Danny’s only in the fic for like, 2 seconds, but it’s still got parental/protective Vlad and found family, and it’s flawless so I’m including it anyway. A basic summary is: Sam, Tucker, Dani, and Valerie team up with Vlad to rescue Danny from the government. Road trip fic featuring angst, hurt/comfort, buckets of found family, and incredible humor. Word count: 46k

2. How to Mentor a Troubled Ghost Child by @ectopal (and its sequel oneshot). This is my second favorite dp fic of all time, and it’s an actual proper badger cereal fic lol. Quick summary: Vlad has a mini-crisis and starts to work on getting his life together, starting with how he treats Danny. Enemies to friends to mentor/mentee, hurt/comfort, EXTREMELY FLUFFY AND WHOLESOME. Word count: 23k

3. Humans and Ghosts by RedGhost1010. I think this was one of the first dp fics I ever read. Not centrally focused on badger cereal, but it comes into play in the last one or two chapters, and I at least was surprised and delighted by it. Quick summary: Danny’s life is basically just falling apart, largely because Jack and Maddie aren’t the best parents. Angst warning, Danny whump, lots of Good Sister Jazz, protective Vlad at the end. Word count: 26k

4. Overshadowed by @whereonceiwasfire . This fic’s a commitment but it was a super cool read; the fight scenes were awesome and I was vibing so hard with the badger cereal. Basic summary: College-age Danny is having a rough time and it just gets worse when a certain enemy- heck, you could even say his ultimate enemy- comes back for a rematch. Fic is 95% heavy angst, some crumbs of h/c, heavy focus on badger cereal, character death and it might not be who you expect, epic anime-style fights, not sure if you’d call it a satisfying ending but it’s an ending. Word count: 142k

5. Untethered by  @life-jim-but-not-as-we-know-it (”draculard” on AO3). This is a brand new badger cereal fic that was posted only a week or two ago, so only the first chapter is out, but that so far is excellent. the Official Summary for the fic: There was a dead boy on Vlad Masters’ doorstep. So far featuring angst, hurt/comfort, big Danny!whump and protective!Vlad. Current word count: 486 words

6. Conspiracy by @elowenp . Super cute oneshot! Vlad’s not actually in it, but it’s still about badger cereal. Quick summary: Jazz (and friends) are trying to convince Danny to stay with Vlad since his parents are constantly trying to kill his alter ego. Humor and fluff. Word count: 1.5K

7. Still Better Than Google Translate by Hollyflash. I legitimately laughed out loud reading this one. Basic summary: Danny reluctantly asks Vlad to teach him Russian. This isn’t an overly spectacular idea, and it almost immediately dives off the rails. Humor/comedy, Vlad’s suffering is hilarious. Word count: 2k

I probably have more in my ao3 bookmarks that I’ve forgotten, and I’ve got a bunch of potentially good fics I’ve saved for later that I haven’t read yet, so if I find any more good ones I can reblog this or make a second post with them! :)

“Y’know, sometimes I get jealous of you.”

Bruce hopes that the look on his face communicates what a ridiculous notion that is. From the way Clark snorts a little he’s sure he manages it.

“I know, I know, it’s silly. It’s just.” He licks his lips. “Your secret identity is just so not you. I feel like Superman and Clark Kent get further away from each other every day, but they’re both still me. Is that dumb?”

“No.”

“Okay. That’s good. It’s just that it’s getting harder, y’know? But it’s also getting easier. Well I guess you don’t know. You’ve probably never had an issue with separating Batman and Brucie Wayne.”

Bruce looks at Clark, “I have trouble separating my identities. Just not those two.”

He frowns before catching himself. “Oh right. Sorry, sometimes I forget you have three. I’m pretty sure you’re the only one.” He pauses, looking at Bruce as if asking permission to continue. Bruce doesn’t give it but Clark goes on anyway. “You have problems splitting up Batman and Bruce then? They’re both you?”

“Of course.” He says, answering the second question. That’s a fact he’s always been sure of. Then, in reference to the first, “I know what you mean about being able to feel the two people you are drift further and further apart.”

“Really?”

Bruce smiles and it’s full of self loathing. “Bruce is a father, Batman’s a partner, a mentor. There was a time when those things all meant the same to me.” He pauses, thinking. “It’s strange, I can barely see the overlaps any more.”

Balancing Act

Talia al Ghul has always lived a precarious life.

You would think it would have been the training that had pulled at her in those early years. That tore at her. As soon as she was capable of critical thought it had been made clear to Talia that anything less than perfection was not an option.

This had suited her well enough though. Perfection had always come naturally to Talia.

No. It was the deference that had turned survival into a balancing act.

‘Yes, Father’ ‘No, Father’ ‘Of course, Father’. Talia is loyal to her bones, but did it have to be so performative? Did they really have to pretend this hard that her father’s better than her?

Even as a teenager she scoffs at the thought. It’s hardly like anyone could be foolish enough to believe such a lie.

~

Later she meets Bruce. Then the balancing act begins to concern loyalty rather than pride.

Talia has always been perfect and loyal and gifted at living on a knife edge; her father’s blade on one side and some different oblivion on the other. But knowing Bruce brings challenges she hadn’t foreseen.

He’s good. She thinks.

Talia isn’t sure if she’s ever thought that about anyone before.

The pull she feels towards him is something she can’t ignore. It causes the bonds she holds with her father to fray, to weaken. She won’t cut anything yet but Talia is beginning to think that the current situation is untenable.

She has always despised weak things. She will not hesitate to rid herself of such ties.

~

There’s a baby growing in Talia’s stomach.

It’s Bruce’s. She knows it’s Bruce’s. This fact makes her feel a warmth she hadn’t thought herself capable of but it brings with it danger.

She can feel the weight of the child’s legacy pulling at her. It’s a heavy thing, to join the bloodline of an al Ghul with the monster that lurks in Gotham City’s shadows. It’s something Talia thinks might hold greater weight than even her own legacy, if that’s possible.

As her stomach grows and the life inside with it, Talia starts to feel that weight. The heaviness of the body inside her own.

She thinks that this wonderful burden might be what stops the balancing act. What pulls her down from the sharp place where she’s managed to survive for so long.

Talia decides that it’s a change she’s going to embrace.

Robert Pattinson in interviews: Bruce Wayne is a slimy worm man. A stinky dirty bat. A mess. Emo. Greasy and gross. Seconds away from going feral and biting someone’s ear off.

Me, a Bruce Wayne fan: Yes, yes, this man gets it

Mha au where bakugou is replaced by catra and kirishima is replaced by adora