Can You Write An Ellie Fic Based Off Of ‘loosing Sleep’ By Tzuyu? Thank You!

I love what you’ve been putting out I’m so obsessed please keep going ❤️❤️

how I felt after you sent me this:

literlly thank you sm! like actually i love youuu, this gives me motivation to write <3333333333333333333

Hi love would you mind making a part for professor!ellie where reader is pregnant again OR when their daughter grows up ?

Amazing work btw

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Aurora’s favorite thing to do is sit on Ellie’s lap during her late-night grading sessions, asking questions like, “Are your students as smart as me?”

☆ She wears glasses just like Ellie now—reader thinks they’re twins.

☆ Aurora mimics Ellie’s mannerisms, like adjusting her glasses when she’s nervous or tilting her head when thinking.

☆ She already knows how to read short paragraphs and corrects people’s grammar—even Ellie’s, which makes her beam with pride.

☆ Aurora's drawings always include three people—Mama, Mommy, and her—but now a fourth baby blob is starting to appear in the corner labeled “Arny.”

☆ When you went into labor, Aurora tried to pack her own bag “to help,” which included crayons, a banana, and Ellie’s old lecture clicker.

☆ Ellie sometimes brings Aurora to campus events. She introduces her proudly with “This is my daughter. She’s smarter than my entire first-year class.”

☆ Aurora makes Ellie bracelets from string and demands she wear them even during lectures. She always does.

☆ Aurora asks science questions constantly. Ellie answers all of them with a whiteboard and diagrams.

☆ You once walked in on Aurora “lecturing” her stuffed animals, using Ellie’s tone exactly.

☆ Ellie writes down Aurora’s quotes in a leather-bound “Aurora Archive” journal.

☆ She refers to Ellie as “the smartest person alive” and you as “the prettiest.”

☆ Aurora’s handwriting practice turned into a full essay on why “Mommy Ellie is too bossy, but I still love her.”

☆ Ellie was obsessively thorough about the IVF process, reading every published study on embryo grading, success rates, and maternal health. She made color-coded charts for each clinic they considered.

☆ The decision to have a second child came after Aurora turned five, when she looked up at them one night and asked, “Why don’t I have a baby brother or sister?”

☆ Ellie wanted a boy this time, not because she loved Aurora any less, but because she was fascinated by how different he might be — still theirs, but uniquely his own.

☆ You carried Arnold, just like with Aurora, and Ellie was even more attentive this time—bringing snacks, checking nutrient levels, monitoring stress like a hawk.

☆ You used the same donor, ensuring Arnold and Aurora were biologically related, and Ellie cried when they found out the embryo had successfully implanted.

☆ Ellie held her breath during every scan, gripping your hand tightly until they saw that tiny heartbeat flicker on the screen.

☆ At home, Ellie converted her study into a nursery months before it was needed, painting it a rich forest green and hanging hand-painted space-themed art on the walls.

☆ She read academic articles aloud to your belly, mumbling about epigenetics and language development, hoping Arnold would be a little genius like his sister.

☆ Aurora would whisper secrets to her unborn brother, telling him what not to do so “Mama doesn’t freak out.”

☆ You and Ellie filmed short video diaries for Arnold, each one ending with Aurora saying, “Hurry up and come out, dummy.”

☆ Your pregnancy with Arnold was harder than Aurora’s — more nausea, more exhaustion — and Ellie handled everything from meals to laundry to carrying you to bed if you fell asleep on the couch.

☆ Ellie barely slept the night you went into labor, pacing in circles around their bedroom and triple-checking the hospital bag every 10 minutes.

☆ When Arnold was born, Ellie was the first to cry, trembling as she cut the umbilical cord and kissed your sweaty forehead, whispering, “You did it. He’s here.”

☆ Arnold was a quiet baby—unlike his fiery older sister—and when the nurse handed him to Ellie, he blinked up at her with wide, moss-green eyes.

☆ Aurora was the first to hold Arnold after them, sitting carefully on the hospital bed, her small arms wrapped awkwardly around her baby brother, declaring, “He smells weird. But he’s cute.”

☆ Ellie took an extended sabbatical from the university, something she never did for herself, but did without hesitation for Arnold and you.

☆ She kept a detailed baby log, recording every feeding, nap, and developmental milestone like it was groundbreaking research. (“He smiled at 4 weeks. Do you know how rare that is?”)

☆ You would often find Ellie in the middle of the night, swaying gently in the rocking chair with Arnold on her chest, whispering about constellations and music theory.

☆ Aurora helped with diaper changes, read bedtime stories to Arnold (whether he was awake or not), and told everyone at school, “I have a brother. He’s gonna be smarter than all of you.”

☆ Ellie constantly takes pictures of the three of you—you nursing, Aurora playing peekaboo, Arnold asleep on Ellie’s chest. She prints them, dates them, and keeps them in a growing archive labeled The Love We Made.

☆ Arnold has Ellie wrapped around his tiny fingers already—she holds him like he’s made of glass.

☆ She was an emotional wreck the day he was born, whispering “You’re here. You’re real,” over and over.

☆ Ellie sobbed in the hospital bathroom, clutching a photo of Aurora and trying to calm her nerves before holding Arnold for the first time.

☆ She made laminated feeding/diapering schedules and color-coded copies for both reader and herself.

☆ Ellie insisted on staying awake every night at first. You had to force her to rest by dragging her to bed.

☆ Her obsession with checking his breathing every 20 minutes has led to installing four different monitors.

☆ Ellie reads academic articles to him during nap time—“gotta start the kid early.”

☆ His nursery is space-themed. Ellie picked every star and constellation herself and even made a mobile from scratch.

☆ She prints out graphs of his growth and annotates them.

☆ You caught Ellie softly kissing Arnold’s forehead while murmuring, “I’ll protect you forever. I promise.”

☆ She calls him “my little theory” because she wants to “test how much love a person can feel before they combust.”

☆ Ellie holds Arnold for hours while writing lectures one-handed, content even if it takes twice as long.

☆ She talks about him constantly at work—“Sorry my email’s late. My son drooled on my laptop.”

☆ Ellie insisted on giving him a middle name that references a philosopher—Arnold Pascal Williams.

☆ She puts little leather-bound books in his crib for aesthetic photos.

☆ Ellie made a password-protected photo archive titled “Arnold Growth Logs.”

☆ She has framed side-by-side ultrasound pictures of Aurora and Arnold on her office wall.

☆ You found Ellie singing lullabies in Hebrew and Latin just for “academic diversity.”

☆ She’s more patient with Arnold than she’s ever been with anyone.

☆ Ellie’s phone is overloaded with baby pics—she has a folder just labeled “Arnsmol.”

☆ She wrote a 10-page email to the pediatrician just asking about sleep regression.

☆ Ellie gets extremely possessive when someone other than you or Aurora holds Arnold.

☆ Her glasses fog up when she gets overwhelmed watching both kids together.

☆ Arnold’s first smile made Ellie go silent for ten minutes, then cry like a waterfall.

☆ She lowkey competes with you over who Arnold calms down with faster.

☆ She stares at you when she’s breastfeeding, completely mesmerized.

☆ Ellie reads textbooks on postpartum care so she can understand everything reader is experiencing.

☆ She canceled her own faculty conference trip because Arnold had a cold.

☆ Ellie redesigned her lecture schedule so she never misses bedtime for either child.

☆ Ellie’s gone full mama bear—she snapped at a stranger who called Arnold “it.”

☆ She started a private blog documenting her “Motherhood and Academia” journey, but only you have the link.

☆ Ellie sometimes forgets to eat if the baby’s crying—but never forgets to feed him.

☆ You teases Ellie about her “unofficial PhD in parenting.” Ellie secretly loves it.

☆ Arnold’s first laugh made Ellie record five videos trying to recreate the sound.

☆ She leaves love notes inside your breast pump bag.

☆ She wants to homeschool both kids—your not fully convinced yet.

☆ Ellie smells Arnold’s head constantly. Says it’s “baby serotonin.”

☆ Ellie cried when Aurora said “Arnold is my best friend forever.”

☆ She’s started humming lullabies even while writing lectures now.

☆ She talks to Arnold about how they’ll build rockets or dissect frogs together someday.

☆ Ellie calls Aurora and Arnold her “entire thesis on love.”

☆ She still panics during diaper changes—even though she’s read three parenting books.

☆ Ellie smells like baby lotion, chalkboard dust, and coffee now.

☆ Her voice softens immediately when either kid cries.

☆ Ellie doodles tiny versions of Aurora and Arnold in her margins during meetings.

☆ Ellie sometimes stares at you and just whispers, “How did I get this lucky?”

☆ She tells Arnold he looks like you, then whispers, “thank god.”

☆ Ellie calls their family of four “the most important study she’ll ever conduct.”

your best friend- ellie williams x reader

no one requested this lol, i just liked the song... do yall want me to make a spotify playlist off all the songs i've written about?

This story is based off the song your best friend by Kiana Lede, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: emotional cheating

Summary: in which you wished ellie wasn't dating your best friend

Masterlist

Ellie never planned to fall in love with you.

She always said your laugh was addictive. Always told Dina that you were “a good one” — loyal, grounded, funny. The kind of person who didn’t start shit, who didn’t push boundaries.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it?

You didn’t push the boundary.

Ellie did. And you let her.

It started with late-night walks through Jackson. Dina would stay behind to clean up or rest from patrol. You and Ellie would wander, shoulders brushing, voices soft, dancing around the things you never said.

It continued with touches that lingered — a hand at your waist that stayed too long. A look that lasted one second too much. Her compliments growing too precise. Yours returning just as sharp.

You told yourself: I would never betray her.

And Ellie told herself: I would never act on it.

But both of you were liars.

One night, while Dina slept upstairs, you and Ellie were in the kitchen, whispering about dumb shit, faces inches apart. You’d just said something funny, and she laughed — full and rare — and then she looked at you like she wanted to ruin everything. You saw it coming.

You didn’t stop it.

The kiss was slow, scared — like both of you knew you’d just ripped something open you couldn’t close.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie whispered, lips still brushing yours.

“No, you’re not.”

And you were right.

Guilt became your second skin.

You smiled in front of Dina. You helped her chop vegetables for dinner, listened to her talk about the new recruits, helped her clean out the horse stables.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about Ellie’s hands under your shirt two nights ago, the way she kept saying “fuck, I shouldn’t” while she didn’t stop.

You weren’t proud. But god, it felt real.

You hated yourself for loving it.

One evening, after too much whiskey, Ellie sat on your porch with red eyes.

“I can’t lie to her forever.”

“Then don’t,” you said. “End it. Or stop this.”

Ellie looked at you, jaw tight. “I don’t know how to stop.”

You both sat there in silence. You didn’t know either.

Dina found out in spring.

You never knew how much Ellie told her, but the fallout was brutal. Dina slammed the front door, threw Ellie’s jacket across the porch, and didn’t speak to you for a month.

Ellie moved out of their house.

She stayed in one of the abandoned cabins by the trees, didn’t talk to anyone for days.

You visited once, stood outside her door. “Ellie, say something.”

“I’m a fucking coward,” came her voice. “Don’t come back.”

You left.

But you didn’t stop loving her.

Time passed.

The pain dulled, but it never left. People stopped looking at you like you were contagious. Dina started laughing again, even made peace with you one afternoon when she found you alone by the stables.

“I’m not ready to forgive you,” she said. “But I know you loved her. That’s worse.”

You nodded. Because it was true.

Ellie stayed distant for months.

Then one day, you found a note slipped under your door.

“I’m still in love with you.

-E"

You found her at the lake, sitting on the edge of the dock, legs dangling in the water.

She didn’t look at you as you sat beside her.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” she said quietly.

“I almost didn’t,” you replied. “But I never stopped loving you either.”

She finally turned to face you — eyes green and heavy with regret.

“I ruined everything,” Ellie said.

“You broke her heart,” you agreed. “And mine. But I let you.”

Silence again.

Then: “Do you think we can try again? For real this time?”

You breathed out slowly. “Only if we stop lying. To everyone. To ourselves.”

Ellie nodded. “I want to love you right this time.”

It wasn’t perfect.

People judged. Dina kept her distance. Some friendships faded. But you and Ellie stood in it — the mess, the guilt, the consequences.

You built something real from the wreckage.

The touches became open. The glances weren’t stolen. Her hand on yours at the bar felt proud now. You kissed in daylight.

Sometimes, she still looked sad — when she remembered what she lost. What she broke.

But when she looked at you, there was love. Raw, honest, painful — but whole.

One night, in your shared bed, she whispered, “You’re not her best friend anymore.”

You smiled, touched her jaw. “No. I’m yours.”

- Zia's World ☆.

-‘๑’- about me: zia ; bisexual ; 19 ; she/her

if you want to be friends just pm me! I love meeting new people:)

-‘๑’ - who I write about: Ellie Williams, Abby Anderson and any other FEMALE character of your choice, I occasionally will write for other fandoms and for Quackity because I love him but tlou has my heart

-‘๑’ I write: headcanons, stories based off songs and things I think of in my silly little brain.

-‘๑’ - my content: I write ALOT of depressing and violent things. If you are not in the right mental state please DO NOT read my work.

-‘๑’ - rules: men DO NOT interact, NO kind of hate, bullying, sexism, homophobia, and mocking of any religion (including Christianity) is not allowed on my page. If it is found that you broke one of the rules you will be blocked immediately.

-‘๑’ - requests: requests are open till I say otherwise. You can send me song requests or your silly little thoughts:)

-‘๑’- request rules: Men are NOT allowed to request, if it is found that you are a man, you will be blocked immediately. I will NOT answer requests if they make me uncomfortable.

I DO NOT like to be rushed. Writing takes a lot of time and energy. I might take awhile to answer your request because I do not want to give anyone anything less than what they deserve so please be patient with me. I do have a life outside of this app, so once again I do ask that you are patient.

-‘๑’- my work: All my work and plot twists are all my original ideas. I do take inspiration from music and I give credit where it's due. DO NOT copy my work or repost it as your own. If you take inspiration give credit. If I do find out you stole my work without credit, I will take action.

-‘๑’- taglist: if you want to be added to my taglist send me a pm, and I can either tag you on my permanent taglist or a temporary one.

-‘๑’ masterlist

heyy could you write something based on Dark Red by Steve Lacy?

i love all your works btw

Dark red - (ellie williams x reader)

hi poookie!! thank you sm!! i hope you don't mind me writing this as a gore story, I've been writing a lot of fluff recently and i missed my violent stories, but if you want me to write a different version just let me know!!! i hope you enjoy <33

This story is based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy, if you can please listen to the song while you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

HUGE warning: murder, kidnapping, being held hostage, dead bodies, violence

Summary: in which she wanted you to herself

masterlist

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know what, but I feel it coming

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

I just hope she don't wanna leave me"

Something bad was going to happen. Ellie could feel it in her bones. She doesn't know why she feels this way, but ever since she woke up this morning, she's been filled with dread. A heaviness in her gut she can't shake off.

Ellie sat at her desk, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring. She hasn't been home for the last 3 days because of school spirit week.

Ellie was so pissed off when she heard they were having a camping day, a sleepover and a all nighter back to back. Everyone was complaining that they were exhausted due to all the activities happening at school, but Ellie wasn't thinking about sleep.

She was thinking about you.

She was always thinking about you.

Ellie could see everyone was staring at the clock, they were practically counting down the seconds before the bell rang. They wanted to go home.

Ellie wanted to go home too, she needed to get home to you.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Before the bell rang the intercom went off. The students groaned thinking that they had to stay at school for another day.

"Can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office. Ellie Williams. I repeat, can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office"

fuck.

The bell rang soon after and everyone ran to the door, Ellie watched as they ran like animals.

"Fucking idiots" she thought to herself

She waited till most of the kids were gone, before she got up grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the office.

She knocked on the door, and she heard a small "come in".

She let out a sigh as she reluctantly pushed open the door and she was greeted by a the principal and a detective.

What the fuck?

"Close the door and sit down" the principal instructed.

As she sat down her heartrate increased. Her ears were ringing, her palms were sweaty.

The detective cleared his throat before he spoke "as you know y/n has been missing for 3 months now"

She nods

"after further investigation, it seems you were the last one seen with her"

"Was i really or are you looking for someone to blame?" Ellie asked with a raised brow.

She knew where you were, but she couldn't tell him that.

"Ms Williams you're under suspension of kidnapping"

Ellies fists clench by her sides "why am i? Just because i was last seen with her?"

"You guys were best friends, many people said you were close, some say you where obsessed"

Oh she was mad. Ellie was really mad. She wasn't obsessed, she just cared about you.

"i wasn't" she said through gritted teeth.

"We think you know where she is"

Ellie got up, her fist hitting the table "so you're accusing an underage child of kidnapping? do i look like I'm capable of doing that?"

"Ms Williams-"

"no"

Ellie turned to the door and she stormed out. She walked out of the building rushing home to see you.

She hoped you didn't leave her.

"Don't you give me up, please don't give up

On me, I belong with you and only you, baby

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you"

They weren't wrong about what ellie had done to you.

But she had to do it! How else was she supposed to keep you to herself?

Ellie always has feelings for you. Ever since you shyly asked her for a pencil in year 8, she's been all over you. As the years went by her fondness towards you grew, you made her blush, you made her giggle, you made her so fucking happy.

Overtime the two of you built a good friendship but Ellie always wanted more.

It was a Thursday, the sun was shining and the two of had a science project to finish.

The homecoming dance was getting closer and she wanted to ask you. Ellie thought this was the perfect moment to ask you.

"So....with who are you going to homecoming?" Ellie asked clearing her throat

"oh Dina asked me"

"what did you say?"

"I said yes, i think Dina is cute"

No no no no no no no

Not her. You belong to her. You were hers. Not Dina. You were supposed to go with her.

No no no no no

"Ellie?" You asked with concern seeing her zoned out expression.

Ellie looked at you briefly before her hands wrapped around your neck. You let out a silent scream trying to scratch her. You tried fighting but you couldn't. Ellie was stronger than you, she was bigger too.

Eventually you went limp in her hands.

Heavy breaths left Ellie's mouth.

You were still breathing. Good.

She dragged you to her house, hiding behind bushes once in a while to make sure no one saw her. She dragged you into her house, and into her basement.

Ellie placed your body onto the cold floor and she watched you breathing faintly.

Now you cant go with Dina.

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way, I don't know maybe

I think of her so much, it drives me crazy

What if she's fine?

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long"

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just having bad thoughts. Ellie has always had a tendency to overthink things.

She knew it was bad to overthink but she was always prepared for the worst.

When Ellie first kidnapped you, 3 months ago everything was fine.

You never screamed, you never fought back, you always tried negotiating or escaping which was good because she didn't need to tie you up or gag you.

You made things easy for her. Ellie fed you, she kept you company, she tried to be Dina.

She really tried to keep you happy.

You didn't need Dina, you needed her.

But for the last month you've been very sick. You barley spoke, you barley ate, you barley moved.

There was something wrong with you, she just didn't know what it was.

Since she hasn't been home for 3 days, Ellie didn't know if you would still be alive. There was no one to feed you. No one to talk to you. You were all alone.

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just overthinking it.

Her house key rattled as she pushed open the door. She quickly made her way to the basement, unlocking the door. She walked down the stairs quietly calling your name.

You didn't say anything. She didn't see any movement. she slowly made her way to the bed she had made for you and there you were.

Your skin was pale, cold and it was turning blue. You weren't breathing.

Ellie let out a sigh as she gently grabbed your body, hugging you, not caring of the smell.

Atleast Dina cant get to you.

You were hers. You were safe. You were ok. You now only belong to her.

<3

your writing is so good :(( i would really like to see more of professor ellie

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie leaves post-it notes around the house with little observations or facts—like “Did you know an octopus has three hearts?”—signed “Prof. Williams.”

☆ Her morning coffee routine is sacred; she makes a second cup automatically for you, even before you’re awake.

☆ She reads peer-reviewed articles in bed and mumbles criticisms under her breath while you drift off beside her.

☆ Ellie has a very specific chair she grades in and lets no one—not even you—sit in it. But you drape a throw blanket over it to “soften her edges.”

☆ She always corrects the grammar of signs in public and then immediately kisses your cheek to make up for it.

☆ You have a running list of vocabulary words she uses in daily conversation that you make fun of.

☆ Ellie panics if she forgets her planner—it’s her life line. You once hid it as a joke and she almost cried.

☆ You make her wear blue light glasses after she complained about headaches from too much screen time.

☆ Her books are all arranged by subject and subtopic, but there’s a tiny, chaotic shelf of novels you convinced her to read.

☆ She pretends to be annoyed when you fold her clothes wrong but secretly refolds them late at night with a fond smile.

☆ Ellie buys you vintage notebooks because she says your thoughts deserve a beautiful place to live.

☆ She underlines passages in her research books with faint hearts in the margins and lets you find them.

☆ Her favorite way to flirt is through long, winding academic arguments—and she always lets you win.

☆ You once called her "Doctor Williams" during a heated argument and it turned her on. She went silent and red.

☆ She creates elaborate metaphors from her lectures just to compliment you—“If you were a research subject, I'd violate the ethics code to know you better.”

☆ You sit in on her lectures sometimes and she always smirks when she spots you in the back.

☆ She corrects your pronunciation mid-conversation—then kisses your neck to distract you from being annoyed.

☆ Ellie keeps a secret folder on her laptop titled “My Favorite Theories,” and it’s full of quotes you’ve said.

☆ Her handwriting is almost illegible but she writes you love letters on university letterhead like it’s an academic report.

☆ You once found her writing a journal article about love, and every example was clearly about you.

☆ Ellie has a habit of muttering “mine” when you wear her glasses or sweaters.

☆ She's terrible at emotional vulnerability unless it’s 2 a.m. and she’s had too much wine.

☆ She’ll never admit it, but she tracks your schedule as carefully as she tracks her office hours.

☆ Ellie’s idea of intimacy is lying in bed silently, your legs tangled while she edits a manuscript.

☆ She’s obsessed with the back of your neck—always kissing it in passing like a reflex.

☆ You leave her little annotated notes in her books, and she keeps every single one like sacred texts.

☆ She has a playlist titled “My Subject of Study” and every song reminds her of you.

☆ She’s not great with selfies, but she secretly takes pictures of you reading, working, or laughing when you’re not looking.

☆ She’s fiercely protective of your mind—hates when others interrupt you or undermine your opinions in group settings.

☆ You once wrote her a poem and she printed it, framed it, and keeps it in her office behind a stack of journals so no one sees but her.

☆ Ellie spirals if she feels emotionally disconnected from you—she’ll reread texts and reanalyze conversations like case studies.

☆ She memorizes your patterns: the way you chew pens, sigh when thinking, the exact sound of your “I’m tired” voice.

☆ She keeps a folder of your academic achievements and personal wins like she’s building a resume for you.

☆ If someone flirts with you, Ellie becomes icy professional—like a polite shark.

☆ She has intrusive thoughts about losing you during lectures and will stop mid-slide to text “Are you okay?”

☆ You once made a joke about breaking up and she didn’t speak for six hours.

☆ She gets almost religiously intense when she talks about your intelligence—like you’re the final proof of something sacred.

☆ She knows your preferred citation style and uses it when she references you in footnotes.

☆ Ellie gets jealous when other professors praise you too highly—even if she agrees.

☆ You once caught her writing your initials over and over in the margins of her personal notebooks like a lovesick teen.

☆ When you fight, Ellie retreats into silence and overthinks every word you said until she’s made herself sick.

☆ Her apologies are long, detailed, and cited like a research paper—thesis statement, body, conclusion.

☆ She’s incredibly sensitive to tone—one “fine” from you can ruin her whole day.

☆ When she’s upset, she cleans obsessively—especially her desk. You always know something’s wrong when her pens are too perfectly aligned.

☆ She once sent you a long email titled “Re: Our Disagreement” instead of texting you after a fight.

☆ She’s terrified of not being enough for you—but tries to hide it under cold logic.

☆ You’ve had to pull her out of panic spirals during her worst grading weeks when she believes she’s failing at everything, including your relationship.

☆ Sometimes she offers you affection like an apology, and you have to remind her you don’t need to be earned.

☆ Ellie reads out loud to you when you can’t sleep—dense texts, soft poems, even her own work in progress.

☆ She writes one line of a love letter every day in the back of her planner. She says she’ll show it to you in a decade.

☆ She always keeps an extra charger for you in her bag—just in case.

☆ She never starts eating until she sees you take a bite first. Always.

☆ She writes tiny love notes on your receipts, your lecture printouts, your napkins.

☆ Ellie never says “I love you” casually—when she says it, she means it. Every. Time.

☆ She keeps a copy of your handwriting taped inside her wallet.

☆ She kisses your temple like it’s an academic ritual—precision, reverence, consistency.

☆ You once told her she talk-writes in her sleep—and now she worries she says too much while dreaming.

☆ Her love feels clinical sometimes: obsessive, methodical, deeply studied—but it’s real. And it’s yours.

☆ She saves up random facts just to tell you at night, as if your curiosity is the only thing that makes her day complete.

☆ Every time you tell her you love her, she still pauses—like it’s a theory she never quite believes she’s worthy of, but is so desperate to prove.

Ellie Williams x BPD! Reader please 🙏

Split Edges - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: Intense emotional themes, self-sabotage, swearing, dark thoughts, panic attacks, co-dependency, manipulation, and one shocking betrayal

Summary: in which you needed help

masterlist

“I’m sorry I go from loving you to hating you in minutes.

I’m sorry I can’t tell what’s real.

I just don’t want to lose you.”

Ellie met you when she was at her worst.

And you?

You were a wildfire in human skin.

Charming one second. Distant the next.

Your moods didn’t shift—they switched. On and off. Light and dark.

And Ellie, for all her trauma-hardened edges, found herself drawn in.

You saw her, truly saw her. Not as a weapon or a survivor.

But as someone worth loving. That scared her.

But not as much as how fast she fell.

You loved hard. That’s the thing no one tells you about BPD.

It’s not drama—it’s devotion.

When Ellie laughed, it filled every empty part of you. When she touched your hand, it was like being stitched back together.

But the fear was always there.

She could leave.

And if she left, you’d unravel. So you tried to hold tighter. Love harder. Be perfect.

But no one can be perfect forever.

Ellie started pulling away after you had your first episode in front of her. You saw her glance at someone else for half a second too long.

Your stomach dropped.

Your heart snapped.

“You’re bored of me,” you said. “You’re already looking for someone else.”

“What?” she laughed, confused. “I just asked them for extra ammo—”

“No,” you snapped. “I saw you.”

The fight lasted hours. You cried. Screamed. Threw your knife into the wall.

Ellie didn’t leave.

But she didn’t touch you either.

And that’s when you knew:

She was starting to fear you.

And that made you hate yourself.

So you punished yourself. Silently. The way you always did.

But Ellie noticed the new scar.

One night, she sat across from you, voice low.

“I want to be with you,” she said. “But not like this. You have to get help.”

“I am help,” you hissed. “I’m the only one who’s stayed.”

“You love me so much you’re destroying me.”

That shut you up.

Because maybe she was right.

So you made her a promise: you’d try.

You’d get better.

For her.

And for a while, you did.

You journaled. You started meds. You smiled more. You apologized when you snapped instead of vanishing for days.

Ellie let her walls down again.

And things were good. Too good.

That’s how you should’ve known something was coming.

The knock at the door came on a rain-heavy evening. You opened it to find Dina.

Alive. Shaking. Pale.

“She told me you were dead,” she said to you.

You blinked. “What?”

“She said you lost it during a raid. That you bled out in her arms.”

“I’ve never even been in a raid,” you said slowly.

Dina stared at you.

Ellie had lied.

Not about you.

About Dina.

Because while Ellie had been healing you…

She’d been hiding the fact that she never stopped loving someone else.

You confronted her that night.

“You said she was gone.”

Ellie sat still, jaw clenched.

“She was. I thought she was—”

“Liar,” you whispered. “You wanted her gone. You wanted me to replace her.”

“You’re not a replacement,” Ellie snapped. “You’re... you're worse.”

The words left her mouth before she could take them back.

And just like that, the switch flipped.

You were done.

You disappeared the next morning. Vanished into the woods.

Ellie searched for days. Weeks. She cried. Screamed. Left notes carved into tree bark.

But she never found you.

Because you didn’t want to be found.

Until the next season, when Ellie found something under her bed.

A recording.

Your voice. Calm. Unstable. Honest.

“If you’re hearing this, I’m gone. Not dead—just done. You didn’t break me. I just finally saw who I was when I wasn’t trying to hold you. You were always scared of losing me. But I think I was more scared of losing myself.”

Ellie sits on the porch every dusk now. Alone. The wind carries echoes of your voice. Not real. But not gone either. She doesn’t know where you are. But part of her knows she’ll never find you. And for once, it’s not because you’re lost.

It’s because you finally let go.

I've been obsessed with john buckleys "everybody here wants you" I'd love to see your take on it maybe from the readers pov like where we are admiring ellie

Everybody here wants you - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! your wish, is command... I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song Everybody here wants you by Jeff Buckley, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:) or just send me your thoughts....

HUGE Warning: obsession, stalking, murder, gore, self harm, reader is unhinged, Dina slander (we love Dina but for the sake of the plot we're haters)

Summary: In which you fell in love with someone you couldn't have

wc: 1.9k

29 pearls in your kiss

A singing smile

Coffee smell and lilac skin

Your flame in me

I'm only here for this moment

When you first laid eyes on Ellie it felt like your body was on fire.

Ellie awakened some deep desire in you, that even you yourself didn’t understand.

When she caught you staring all she could do was give you a small smile, and you felt your stomach erupt with butterflies. Even after she caught you, you couldn’t help but to continue staring.

 The way her autumn brown hair was in a half up, half down look, the way the red and green flannel hugged her arms the right way, how her side profile looked. Just everything about her. Everything about her was without fault.

god really has his favorites huh?

You didn’t know who she was, you didn’t know her name but god she was doing things to you. You got up from where you were sitting and walked behind her. As soon as you walked past her, a strong scent of pinewood hit you.

Wow jesus, ok does she bath in her perfume? You thought to yourself.

As you stood at the other side of the room watching this beautiful woman you heard someone scream “Ellie” the autumn brown haired girl’s head snapped up, looking at another girl.

You wanted to vomit.

You wanted to stab your eyes out after watching Ellie smile with someone else.

“Dina!” Ellie screamed back standing up and immediately running to the girl with dark hair and hugging her. Even though you were filled with jealousy you knew her name now.

Ellie.

Your Ellie.

I know everybody here wants you

I know everybody here thinks he needs you

I'll be waiting right here just to show you

How our love will blow it all away

You weren’t stupid. Ellie was an attractive girl. The day you met Ellie you saw how people looked at her. The way their gaze’s lingered on her beautiful face. Whether it was men or women it seemed that Ellie’s beauty had everyone in awe.

Everybody here wanted Ellie. Everybody in this room did.

How would Ellie notice you when there’s hundreds, probably thousands of people throwing themselves at her.

That day when you first saw Ellie and found out her name, you spent exactly 72 hours looking for her Instagram. You went through thousands of accounts trying to find her. When you eventually found Ellie’s Instagram you learned a lot more about her.

She loved skating, she’s very gay and she has a best friend named Dina.

You let out a sigh of relief when you realized that they were only friends. But the way Ellie smiled at her made your stomach churn.

You saw Dina as a threat.

Who wouldn’t? She was everything you weren’t. And at least Ellie knew of her existence.

You clicked on Dina’s profile going through each one of her posts, comments and everything about her. You memorized Dina’s page, every post, comment and caption. You had to figure out what Ellie saw in Dina. You had to become Dina.

A week went by, and neither Ellie or Dina posted anything. You felt like you were losing your mind. As soon as you wanted to give up and move on, Dina made a post that she was throwing a huge party. A smile appeared on your face. This was your chance.

Miracles do happen. You were going to that party. And you were going to get Ellie’s number.

Hmm, such a thing of wonder in this crowd

I'm a stranger in this town

You're free with me

And our eyes locked in downcast love

I sit here proud

Even now, you're undressed in your dreams with me

You shouldn’t have come here. Everybody in this room wanted Ellie. The way they all started at her with hungry eyes, the way they were practically undressing her with their eyes. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like the way they were looking at your girl.

You were burning holes into the back of Ellie’s head at this point. Ellie turned around frowning when somebody bumped into her, and for the first time in almost two weeks the two of you locked eyes again.

Ellie gave you a smile. That fucking smile. The same one she gave you two weeks ago. You sat there frozen after she turned away. You didn’t know if you should cry or be excited. Ellie smiled at you. She definitely wants you.

You felt out of place. Everyone in this stupid party knew each other. You felt like you didn’t belong. You hated being here, but if it means you’ll be in Ellie’s presence a little longer you’ll put up with it.

“Hi” you heard a voice say behind you, and when you turned around your eyes met with Dina’s.

“Hi Dina” you said softly.

“How do you know my name?”

fuck how did you know her name?

were you supposed to tell the truth? that you were stalking her?

“I’m a friend of Ellie’s” you smiled.

“Oh! A friend of Ellie’s is a friend of mine!” She gave you a bright smile bringing you in for a hug.

 “It was nice meeting you” Dina smiled as she started walking away. Your eyes followed her seeing that she was walking towards Ellie.

Fuck fuck fuck no no no

what happens if she asks Ellie about you? They would know you’re a fake. And you’d never get a chance with Ellie.

“Hey Dina” you called out and she turned toward you, “yeah?” she yelled over the music.

“Can you please show me where the bathroom is?”

 “Oh yeah follow me” Dina reached out you, offering her hand so that you can grab it. The two of you walked in the crowd hand in hand.

Dina was talking too much. She’s so fucking annoying you thought to yourself.  

What does Ellie see in her?

“Here we go” Dina said as she pushed open a door. The room was decorated with white and blue wallpaper, and there was a bed in the middle of the room.

“You want me to pee on the bed?” you questioned.

“No silly” Dina laughed she walked to the other side of the room pushing open another door, revealing a bathroom.

“Wait let me check if there’s toilet paper- “

 Dina’s body landed on the floor with a thud as blood seeped from her head. You stood above her holding a lamp heavily breathing. Tears pricked your eyes.

What the fuck were you thinking? You weren’t a killer. You never wanted to harm Dina.

You looked down at your hands seeing that the blood on top of the lamp dripped down onto your own hands.

“No” you yelled throwing it on the ground. You sat on the bed sobbing.

You were going to prison. You were a killer. You were dirty. You were a bad person.

No.

No you weren’t.

Dina was going to tell Ellie. She was going to tell Ellie that you lied. You weren’t a bad person, you just made a mistake. A mistake that you will clean up before anyone came looking for Dina.

You quickly got up wiping the tears from your eyes, and you locked the door.

You quickly grabbed a towel and you wrapped it around her head to try and stop the bleeding as much as you can to make the cleanup easier. You dragged Dina’s body closer to the bed as you let out a grunt as you placed her on the bed.

You walked to the bathroom looking through the cupboard “fuck yeah” you breathed when you saw a pack of razors. You gently took one out and you walked over to Dina.

She was still breathing, but you knew after this she wouldn’t.

You took the razor and you dragged across her writs. On each arm you dragged it 4 times and you watched the blood pool out of her arms. You gently removed the towel from her head, seeing her eyes were open and her mouth was moving.

 “I’m sorry” you breathed.

 It was an accident. You weren’t a bad person.

You took some blood from her wrists and she winched, you walked over to the wall and you wrote the words “I’m sorry” hoping that they might think that Dina is apologizing for her “suicide”.

 But in reality this was you apologizing to everyone you knew this was going to affect.

You got down on your knees and you cleaned the blood from Dina’s first wound that was still left on the floor. By the time the place was spotless Dina already too her last breath, as the sheets were soaked with her blood.

“I’m sorry” you apologized one more time before you jumped out the window running home.

The only regret you had that night was not getting Ellie’s number.

I know the tears we cried

Have dried on yesterday

The sea of fools has parted for us

There's nothing in our way, my love

“I’m sorry for your loss” you spoke softly.

“Who are you?” Ellie asked.

“I was a friend of Dina’s” you lied.

Ellie sniffled “do you know why she killed herself?” she asked as she looked at Dina’s grave again.

 “No” you muttered

“I thought she was happy”

"me too"

“Wait you’re that girl from the party” Ellie said after a few minutes of silence. Your stomach fluttered at the fact that she remembered you.

“Yeah” you smiled

You and Ellie spoke about Dina for a while, you made up stories about what great friends you and Eina were and you were happy that Ellie could finally talk to you.

The two of you exchanged numbers that day and you couldn’t be happier.

Dina didn’t die in vain. She died for you and Ellie to be happy. There was nothing standing in the way of your love anymore.

Don't you see, don't you see?

You're just the torch to put the flame to all our guilt and shame

And I'll rise like an ember in your name

I know I, I know

Why didn’t Ellie see? You were here for her since Dina’s funeral.

Why wasn’t she falling in love with you? Why didn’t she realized everything you’ve done for her? Every time you would show Ellie affection or love she never showed it back. Ellie saw you as an acquaintance not a friend and it was the hardest thing for you to accept.

You knew that deep down she loved you.

Maybe she’s scared of her feelings. Maybe she didn’t love you. Maybe you need to encourage her. Maybe you need to show her how much you loved her.

And that’s exactly what you did. You showed her.

You stared texting her more often, you started following her around. You sent her letters. And soon Ellie blocked you. She’d throw rocks at you when she’d see you.

 Ellie sprayed you with pepper spray once. Ellie was doing anything and everything she can to stay away from you. She even moved across the city to get away.

But you’d always find her. You’d always get her.

Ellie awoke something in you. Something primal, an animal instinct. You blame her for the way you’re acting. She made you this way.

You tormented Ellie for 2 months she got a restraining order against you. But that didn’t stop you. You just learned to become sneakier. You’d still follow her around you still text but for different number, you’d pretend to be different people.

Ellie was going to love you one way or another. You’d make her love you, with or without that stupid restraining order.

The restraining order reminded you of Dina. It was something that was in the way of you and Ellie’s love. The same way you got rid of Dina, the same way you could get rid of that restraining order. After all Dina was temporary, her life ended. The same was that restraining order was temporary. It will end eventually too, and you’d finally get your chance with Ellie.

I know everybody here, well, thinks he needs you

Thinks he needs you

And I'll be waiting right here just to show you

Everybody at this park wanted Ellie. You hated the way they stared at her as she walked. You hated all of this. You wish you could stick a knife into all their eyes sockets to make them all stop staring at her.

Ellie still hasn’t noticed you after all this time. Even after Dina’s death you thought you had something. But its ok. One day Ellie will realize that you were the one for her. One day she’ll see you the way you see her.

21 days left. 21 days before the restraining order expires. After 5 long years of watching Ellie from afar was soon coming to an end.

You’ll wait for her. Even if it takes forever.

She’ll come around, you know she will, and until then you’ll admire her till the two of you could finally be together.

Authors note: Another long one lmao, but remember you are loved and to always be kind. My requests and pm’s are always open for anything and anyone:)

Yours truly,

Zia <3

Can you do something with toxic Ellie where she sobs and cries when reader gets to her last straw literally having snot running down her nose sliding down the wall actually going through all the stages of grief, trying to justify her cheating, lying etc and tries to forcefully give reader a kiss and hug her telling reader she loves her so much 😣🤚🏼

Her Sweet girl: Part 1/2 - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon!! thanks for the request! This is lowkey based on how my ex and i ended lmao.... i hope you enjoy <33333

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: cheating and alot of angst

Summary: in which you had enough

authors note: so.... I'm back (idk for how long though)

masterlist

"Again? Really Ellie? Again?"

She sat in a corner, tears in her eyes.

Ellie looked rough, her hair messy, hickeys littered her chest.

"It was a mistake-" she choked out

"mistake? A fucking mistake?" You raised your voice.

Ellie flinched not being used to you being so aggressive.

You were a good girl. A very good girl. Sweet. Innocent. Naïve. The perfect victim for someone like Ellie.

Ellie grew up watching romance movies.

They were predictable, cringe at times and very unrealistic. She hated the happily ever after, she pulled her face every time the two main characters came together with a kiss.

She hated the happily ever after.

She hated the idea of being with someone forever. Forever sounded too long.

"Ellie you'll get a STD" Joel once told her as they sat for breakfast.

She let out a chuckle as she pour herself a glass of orange juice

"I'm just perfecting my skills"

"Els you're bringing home a girl almost every night. I'm concerned for you"

"Concerned? Because I'm getting laid?"

"That's not what I meant and you know that"

Ellie let out a sigh 'here we go again' she thought to herself.

"Joel please" she begged knowing where this conversation was going.

"you'll never find happiness like this. Do you think you'll find find a real connection with someone if you keep brining different people home"

"I know. I know, I'm still young Joel I have time"

You were sweet. The sweetest girl she's ever met. You were so loyal, caring.

When the two of you hooked up for the first time Ellie was surprised to see how polite you were. You asked her if she was having fun, you offered her water.

Ellie had one rule: never sleep with the same girl twice.

You were an exception.

You made her feel special, you made her feel loved. Ellie loved you and she never thought she would be capable of loving.

As much as she loved you, she could never stay loyal.

Ellie liked the thrill of meeting someone new, she liked the one night stands. She loved her double life.

You caught her one night.

In all honesty you don't even remember what happened. You walked into the room and your eyes landed on Ellie in between a girl's thighs.

You fell to your knees and tears left your eyes as you looked at the scene before you. The girl screamed, and she grabbed her clothes apologizing to you as she ran out.

Elle fell to her knees naked, apologizing as she held your hand gently.

You stared at the wall as tears left your eyes.

The silence felt like hours to Ellie.

You uttered the words: "it's ok, you made a mistake"

"Never again" she promised as she hugged you tightly as you cried into her shoulder.

She lied.

You caught her again a week later and she made the same promise.

Again and again and again.

You loved her so much. So much that it hurt you. You forgave her over and over again.

Someone who loved you wouldn't betray you like this, someone who wanted to spend the rest of her life with you wouldn't treat you like this.

This was your final straw.

You saw the girls underwear when you walked into your shared apartment.

When you opened the bedroom door, she was on top of Ellie and she was giggling.

She was fucking giggling.

You weren't sad. You were.. disgusted. You just stared at them and eventually they noticed you.

"Fucking talk Ellie" you demanded

Hearing her sweet girl talk like this, made Ellie's stomach turn.

"She seduced you, she forced you you were lonely? i didn't make you cum?... what's the fucking reason this time?"

Ellie opened her mouth but no words came out.

She didn't have a reason.

You stared at her 'wow she couldn't even explain it this time'

You were tired. Tired of being lied to, tired of being humiliated.

You walked to your closet and you started packing up your clothes. Ellie suddenly got up and ran towards you.

She grabbed your shoulders forcing you to look at her.

"baby please let's talk about this"

She brought you in for a awkward hug but you gently pulled away from her not saying a word.

You didn't cry, you didn't even react.

That scared Ellie.

The fact you weren't saying something scared her.

She tried grabbing your arm again but you pushed her.

"get the fuck off me"

Ellie dramatically fell against the wall, she slid down as she sobbed.

She was putting up and act, you knew she was.

She laid on the floor in a ball, sobbing loudly but you ignored her.

"if i ever lose you, I'd surely lose myself" she said as she sobbed into her arms. Her cries got louder and louder. She was desperately trying to get your attention.

She just wanted one reaction from you. She wanted- no - needed you to say something.

"You look like a fucking child" you laughed.

Ellie looked up at you through her tears.

You were laughing? What was so funny?

"So you think me crying is funny?" she asked in disbelief

"so you think cheating on me and crying will make me stay?"

She started sobbing again and you just rolled your eyes.

She looked like a toddler after their parent told them no.

She was a sight to behold. She eyes puffy and swollen, she was drooling, and snot was running out her nose. She looked dirty, desperate, pathetic.

She always had you crying like that, but the roles were reversed. You were in control now.

She needed you.

You made your way to the door and Ellie crawled behind you, like the dog she was.

You turned to look at her, and she started kissing your legs.

"baby please" she said through kisses.

"Let me explain"

"No"

She held your leg as she sobbed. You put down your bag and you forcefully pushed her off.

Ellie landed with a thud and she looked at you with wide eyes holding the side of her head (she probably hit her head, maybe she was being overdramatic maybe she was lying who know. She deserves it anyway)

You picked up your bag and walked to the front door.

Ellie suddenly got up and cleared her throat.

"You wouldn't dare leave me. i mean look at you, who would love you?" she said with a grin.

You knew the sobbing was an act. It was crazy how quickly she could change up.

You turn to look at her: "me? i'll find someone"

You look her up and down "you on the other hand, i don't know... i mean who would want to date someone that tasted everyone's pussy"

Her jaw dropped at your words.

"you wont leave me"

"watch me"

"You're unlovable" were the last words you muttered to her as you slammed the door shut.

She looked at the closed door in front of her.

You actually left. You actually had the guts to walk out.

Tears fell from Ellie's eyes. Real tears fell from her eyes.

She put her hand on her chest. Her heart hurts, her throat was closing up. she felt sick.

Is this what real heartbreak felt like?

you actually left her.

Her sweet girl left.

Ellie fell to her knees and she let out a loud sob. She ruined the only good thing in her life.

Part 2

<3

wait I’m so curious to the angst fic you wrote to in my feelings - ldr :0 cuz I would’ve never interpret it into an angst fic! Do you think you can publish that one too? No pressure! 💕

In my feelings - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, here she is! I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song in my feelings by Lana Del Rey, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:) This was originally a smut fic. You can read it here, but this wonder anon requested a angst edition, so yes.

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: toxic situationship

Summary: In which you fell for a loser

Authors note: i know I've not been that active and I'm so sorry. Life has just been busy, i have to write exams, i have a surgery on Thursday so it's been tense lmao, but I'm trying. Please be patient with me <3

I'm smoking while I'm runnin' on my treadmill

But I'm cutting up roses

Could it be that I fell for another loser

I'm crying while I'm cummin'

Making love while I'm making good money

Sobbin' in my cup of coffee

'Cause I fell for another loser

"Could it be that I fell for another loser?" You asked Dina as the cigarette smoke left your plush lips.

You heard Dina snort beside you.

"probably, she looks like she could be one, and she treats you like shit" she shrugged"

you shook your head at her honesty.

It's embarrassing honestly. You truly did have a type for losers.

People who couldn't make eye contact with you. People who would fold as soon as you gave them your pretty smile. You had the control, but yet anything you had with these people weren't real love. It was purely lust. It was fun.

You liked being in control, you liked breaking them.

But with Ellie it was different.

You met Ellie at a gym.

She caught you eye immediately. She was perfect. Her autumn brown hair tied in a tight ponytail, she was wearing pink leggings with a matching sports bra. The sweat on her forehead glistening under the light of the gym.

If god was real this pretty girl would be in your bed by the end of the night

You ran on the treadmill for a while, trying to ignore the pretty girls eyes. You saw her watching you though the mirror. You felt her eyes trail down your body.

Maybe she wanted you like you wanted her.

After a while you tried leaving the gym, you lit a cigarette as you walked out, your bag hung on your shoulder.

"Hi"

you flinched at the strange voice.

Oh. It was her.

Pink tight girl.

"Hey" you responded.

You saw her gaze fall to the floor as she shyly muttered "I'm Ellie"

What a fucking loser. She couldn't even look at you.

You loved her already.

You gave her your name, and you listened as it fell from her tongue multiple time. She was testing the was your name tasted on her tongue and she loved it.

"Those are bad for you" she pointed out you shrugged

"it makes me look hot, doesn't it?" Was all you said as you took another puff, throwing your head back as the smoke filled the air.

You felt her eyes on you, and you heard her audibly gulp.

"Doesn't it Ellie?" you persisted

"yeah- yeah it does"

you gave her a smile, and before you waved goodbye she handed you a paper. With a raised eyebrow you opened it and in a messy handwriting was her number.

You looked at her and she looked away, she couldn't make eye contact with you.

All you could do was smirk, they were always so fucking easy to make nervous.

"I'll call you" you winked.

Now here you stood 5 weeks later, sobbing into a cup of coffee because you fell for a fucking loser.

Get that cigarette smoke out of my face

You've been wasting my time

While you're taking what's mine, with the things that you're doing

Talk that talk, well now they all know your name

And there's no coming back from the place that you came

Baby don't do it

you don't know what happened with Ellie.

The girl you called a loser once, the girl who fell to her knees when you smiled is suddenly a cold hearted person.

"Get that cigarette smoke out of my face" Ellie huffed as she sat across you.

You rolled your eyes before you put the cigarette out.

"Ellie calm down so we can talk"

"talk about what? You're wasting my time with this"

your jaw dropped at her words.

'What a fucking bitch' you thought to yourself.

"I'm wasting your fucking time? Ellie don't make me mad because I will fucking slap you"

she looked taken aback at your harsh words, her cheeks tined in a pink color.

Her eyes fell to the floor, and for a second you saw her.

Your Ellie.

The loser you fell for.

But she suddenly got up muttering "I will not be disrespected by someone like you", and she walked out of your apartment. The door slammed and you were left alone.

The silence was so loud.

There was no coming back from this.

The more time you spent with Ellie, the more you discovered about her. She used to be so sweet.

You remembered your first date, she couldn't even hold your hand and she constantly apologized for everything.

She was a fucking loser.

But one day someone said that Ellie was out of your league. You knew she was. Some like Ellie deserved someone better, but yet you thought she fell for you.

That day changed everything. Ellie's eyes widened at the person's comment and she was quieter than usual that day.

The next time you saw her, she was a whole new person. Her entire persona changed. Her hair, makeup, style, even the way she fucking walked changed.

You were happy that she had confidence, but you found out she was seeing other people behind your back.

Despite never being official it hurt.

You knew Ellie could talk to whoever she wanted to, but you thought you had something special.

One night when Ellie was sleeping over, you asked her the question.

"What are we?"

she never replied.

Every fucking time you brought it up, she always walked away.

What a fucking loser. What a fucking pussy.

Even today, you invited her over to talk. To see if she liked you. You needed closure because truthfully you fell for the autumn brown headed girl.

You just had to make sure.

And to hear her say that you were wasting her time was fucking sick.

She was wasting yours with her games.

And here you thought you had actually met a loser worth your time.

'Cause you got me in my feelings (catch you, it's so much right now)

Talking in my sleep again (you can whistle if you want)

Drown out all our screaming (catch you, it's so much right now)

Who's tougher than this bitch

Who's free-er than me

You wanna make the switch

Be my guest baby

I'm feeling all my fucking feelings

you wish you could sleep right now. You were tired, and you didn't have any energy for bullshit.

Ellie's rant had begun after she spotted you and Dina getting lunch earlier.

Wow so you can't breathe the air of another girl but she can fuck someone else? That's wonderful logic!

But you sat here listening to Ellie yelling at you for some reason.

You wish you could drown put her screaming.

"Ellie can you just shut the fuck up!" you yelled.

You had enough of her mixed signals. You had enough of her practically cheating on you. You were tired.

"How dare you talk to me like that-" but before Ellie could end up yelling again you got up, pushing her against the wall.

"How dare I? How dare you! You fucking lead me on for weeks, then you freak out when I hang out with another girl! Ellie you are really fucking stupid" you said though heavy breathes.

Ellie stared at you with wide eyes.

There she is.

The girl you thought you had a chance with.

You took a step back, shaking your head and chuckling.

"You really are a fucking loser, how could I fall for someone like you?" You asked yourself.

Ellie heard.

She got up walking to you, she placed her hands on your shoulders "i-i like you. A lot. I just didn't know how to express myself- and- you made me so nervous so I thought I could make you j-jealous"

you shrugged her hands off your shoulders and you took another step back.

"That's not how relationships work Ellie, you ruined this yourself"

"Please listen-"

"get the fuck out"

Ellie sighed before she got up. She was on her way to the door, and she looked back at you for the last time.

"smoking is bad for you" she said with a sad smile.

You chucked at her words before responding "it makes me look hot doesn't it?"

"It really does"

you watched as Ellie walk out the door, you lit another cigarette.

As the smoke filled the air, like it has countless times before. you let out a sigh at the realization: you fell in love with another loser.