Wait I’m So Curious To The Angst Fic You Wrote To In My Feelings - Ldr :0 Cuz I Would’ve Never Interpret

hey... *nervous laugh*

I am so so sorry that I disappeared for almost 4 months. I was overwhelmed with life at that time and I deleted the app because I needed a breather.

I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you who messaged and requested even though I was gone.

I'm back, with a clean mind and fresh ideas. Life has been good recently and I feel like I've been a better place to post again...

So in conclusion,

Daddy's home and she's back with her gore:)

You’re boygenius one is sooo iconic btw

Can you do petals on the moon-wasian project

🫶

Petals on the moon - (ellie williams x reader)

Iconic??? Thank you sm anon, like literally this made me smile but anyway I hope you enjoy<3

This story is inspired by the song Petals on the moon by Wasian Project, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: Ellie x fem!reader

remember requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there :)

HUGE Warnings: Mentions of murder, kidnapping , descriptions of a dead body, depression, graphic descriptions of suicide and funerals (please don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which Ellie regrets her decision

wc: 2.0k

Feeling down

Orange juice

Cigarette

To get me through

As it rains

I conclude

I need help

From someone new

"you know you're going to get cancer if you keep smoking that shit" she heard Joel's voice talk from behind her.

"Getting cancer sounds better than living" Ellie replied as she took another puff.

Smoke filled the air as Joel walked behind her, placing a cup of orange juice next to her.

Ellie looked down at the cup, and she let out a sigh as she remembered the time you mentioned you hated the orange liquid.

"Ellie what the fuck is this?" she heard you talk from the kitchen.

"It's juice" Ellie spoke, eyebrow raised, confused on why you were asking.

Were you really that stupid?

"I know it's fucking juice you idiot, I meant the flavor"

"It's orange juice... it's my favorite flavor"

"Ellie this shit is sour"

"ok so what do you like? apple juice?"

"As a matter of fact I do"

"you are so fucking disgusting" Ellie muttered as she took the box of orange juice from your hands.

She opened the top and she brought the base to her lips as she started drinking directly from the box. Ellie heard you make gagging noises before you walked back to the kitchen. A smile spread onto her lips as she continued to enjoy the juice.

"Ah fuck" Ellie cursed she felt her finger tips burn. She looked at her right hand realizing she was so lost in thought that her cigarette had completely burnt down.

"I don't want this" Ellie said as she pushed the cup back to Joel before she threw what was left of the cigarette on the floor.

She heard Joel sigh from beside her, as he grabbed the cup and gulped down the orange juice within seconds.

The air around them was silent, the moon was already high in the sky, and the light of the stars filled the air.

It was cold, but what else would you expect in September? September was your favorite month. Ellie remembered the day you walked into her and Joel's house wearing a stupid bee costume.

"Halloween is month away, you idiot" Ellie mentioned as you walked in with a huge smile on your face.

"So? I can start preparing"

"Dude you're literally so fucking weird"

You gave Ellie a small smile before saying "but you love me don't you?"

All Ellie could do was chuckle at your antics before you ran out the house screaming "I'm going to try on another costume!"

She heard the door slam.

"Of course I love you, how couldn't I?" She whisperered to herself.

Ellie was snapped back to reality when she heard Joels voice.

"What?" she questioned.

"Are you going to her funeral tomorrow? " Joel asked again.

"Yeah" was all she responded with.

"Ellie-"

"Don't start with your it's not your fault bullshit Joel"

"Ellie but it wasn't-"

"it was!" She almost yelled.

Joel tried putting his hand on her shoulder but Ellie pulled away. She stomped to the front door of their house before she turned to look at him saying: "it was my fucking fault"

Joels eyes softened, and he opened his mouth to speak but Ellie quickly interrupted him.

"I should've opened the door, but instead I was too busy sucking up to Cat"

Ellie took a deep breathe before she continued talking: "She died because of me"

"Goodnight Joel see you tomorrow" was the last thing Ellie said to him before she walked into their home.

So take me in your spaceship

Throw me up into new places

Blast me into silence

Let your guidance get me through this

Gravity is pulling me

Along and I can't find a way

To understand

Why I'm here again and again, oh

Ellie felt alone.

What she's feeling now is something that she couldn't even describe.

It felt like there was a hole in heart that couldn't be filled with anything, it felt like she was walking around without a purpose, without guidance.She didn't have anyone to talk to since you've left.

Ellie didn't know if she's never appreciated you enough. Or if she ever showed you enough love. But now you weren't here anymore, made her realize all the times she has neglected you. All the times she could've spent with you but she was busy with bullshit.

She wish she could bring you back to life, even if it was just for 5 minutes so that you could fill this hole that you left.

Ellie wondered what it would be like to live in space. Floating around aimlessly, wondering if you might see an alien or two. This is what her grief felt like. Like she was aimlessly living her life, like she was floating around hoping that someone would come fill the hole in her heart.

No hook ups, no cigarettes, an no amount of orange juice could fill her.

She was supposed to remember the good times the two of you had, but it seems that tonight she was plagued by your last moments.

The way you knocked on the bathroom door that night she and cat were hooking up in, the way she heard you crying and knocking on the door, begging her to open up.

All she did was pull away from Cat's lips and she yelled a quick "fuck off" before her and Cat's lips connected again.

She remembered the loud sob you let out after she yelled out you.

At the time Ellie thought you were being overdramatic. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you had a bad hookup, but she never expected that your body would be found 4 days after that.

If she had just opened the door that day, you would still be here with her. You would still randomly show up to her house to annoy the shit out her and leave.

But now here Ellie lays in her bad. All alone.

Without you.

Yeah, she thinks being sent into space would be better than feeling this empty.

I feel like everybody's singing out of tune

I feel like I can't help but always be so blue

But in the end I know I must keep pulling through

And brace myself for all the hell-like petals on the moon

Ellie felt out of place.

Everyone standing outside your grave deserved to be here. But she didn't. She couldve stopped your death, but yet she was selfish.

She wanted to prove to Dina and Jesse that she wasn't in love with you. Everyone in Jackson knew Ellie loved you, but she was too stupid to admit her feelings, like a fucking pussy.

And now she couldn't even tell you.

If she never decided to prove a point that day, if she never decided to even invite you to that party you would still be here with here and this stupid fucking funeral would not be happening.

Her eyes followed the coffin as it was lowered into the ground.

She knew you were in there, but she didn't want to believe it. The girl she was so helplessly in love with was being lowered six feet under for the rest of eternity.

The crowd erupted in the song "Amazing grace". Some people were singing, some people were crying.

This is all her fucking fault.

Ellie heard Joel softly crying from behind her. And all Ellie did was shamefully look away.

She had to stay strong for Joel.

You were like a daughter to him and he isn't taking you death well. As strong as Joel pretends to be, Ellie knows he's struggling.

She knows he started drinking again. She knows he barley sleeps. She knows he's concerned for her mental health.

Did she deserve it? Did Ellie deserve his love and pity after letting you die in such a gruesome way?

Ellie has your blood on her hands, and yet Joel tells her it wasn't her fault.

Feeling cold

Train delayed

You've gone home

And I'm afraid

Helios

Sun divine

Hold me up

Into the sky

Ellie remembers the day your body way found like it was yesterday.

The night after the party Ellie woke up with a pounding headache.

She groaned when she heard Joel barge into her room with a frantic look on his face.

"What do you want Joel?" Ellie asked through a yawn.

"y/n didn't get home last night"

And Ellie immediately sat up.

"What?"

"Where is she Ellie?"

"I-" she opened her mouth to talk but Joel's phone started ringing.

The only memory she had was you crying and begging her to open the door.

Then the search started. They searched every street, every river and every ditch in Jackson to find you.

4 fucking days.

4 fucking days of searching and interviews, and you still weren't found.

Ellie was on a train when it suddenly stopped, she pulled out her phone to text Joel and to tell him that she'd be late to the search that afternoon.

"They found a body, on the tracks!" Someone yelled from the front.

And Ellie's heart dropped to her stomach.

It was yours.

Your skin was cold meaning you had been dead for days. Your beautiful skin was littered with bruises and cuts. And around your neck were hand prints indicating that you had been suffocated.

Your cause of death was suffocating which means you were alive during the torture you faced.

If only she had opened that door. If only she wasn't filled with lust in that moment.

All Ellie could do was look up to the sky and hope that you were in a better place.

Maybe you've gone to that "home" called heaven religious people keep talking about.

Born again, alone again, again

Home again, you're gone again, again, again

Will somebody be there for me when all my friends have left?

Even if I'm undone in the end, ooh

Ellie stared up into the sky admiring the clouds. She walked towards the huge oak tree that the two of you always hung out at.

"C'mon ellie" you begged her one night.

"Dude it's literally 3am"

"So?" you yelled as you jumped onto the bed.

Ellie let out a groan she pulled a blanket over her head.

"We can go the oak tree and tell eachother scary stories" you told her as you pulled the blanket off of her head.

That night as the two of you lay under that beautiful oak tree and she looked over to you and she realized how in love she was with you.

That day changed everything for ellie.

She stood under the oak smiling at the memories.

Ellie climbed up the tree, as she pulled out a rope from her pocket.

You were strangled to death, she will die the same way.

She tied the rope onto the branch, and she slowly climbed out of the tree.

As she hopped out the tree her eyes landed on where the two of you carved in your initials all those years ago. And for the first time since your death Ellie started crying.

All the emotions she bottled up. All the guilt she felt. All the anger she felt just come out.

Ellie fell to her knees and she started sobbing. With tears in her eyes her hand reached up to touch the marking and a new wave of sadness flooded her.

She doesn't know how long she sat there sobbing, but hours must've went by.

Her throat felt raw from all the sobbing, her eyes felt puffy. Her whole face hurt.

Ellie looked to the rope that was hanging from the tree.

She looked at it, and she heard it calling her. The loneliness she felt and every ounce of pain she currently felt will all fall away if she just hung herself. She knew everything would be ok, and that she'd finally be with you again.

Ellie quickly got up and she gave your initial a kiss, before she got the chair that she secretly stole from Joel earlier that day.

Ellie placed the chair below the rope and she got onto it. She out her head through the rope, and she jumped kicking the chair to the side.

It felt like someone had kicked her in her something, the air was completely knocked out of her.

Is this how you felt in your final moments?

Ellie was in pain. Everything hurt. Now she knows what it felt like. What you had to go through. What she had put you through.

Ellie stared at sky as she felt more and more at ease.

The physical and emotional pain she was feeling this entire time was fading away.

Ellie's eyes rolled to the back of her head she took her last breath. Her body went limp.

She was finally put out of her suffering.

And for the first time since your death Ellie felt free.

Who knows, maybe she'd see you in the after life....

Authors note: well idk why all my work has been so depressing but anyway just remember you are loved and go always be kind....

Yours truly,

Zia:)

Hiii saw you do song reqs can you do waste my time essoa with Dina or Ellie

(Ps I really liked your mitski fic)

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This is another requested story! This story is based off the song Waste my Time by Essosa, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one or send me a song and I’ll take it from there!

Warnings: cannibalism, murder, blood, dismembering of a body

Summary: Ellie questions if you really love her or if you were just using her to clean up your mess

(A message to whoever requested this, i deeply apologize if its too dark! It was supposed to be a nice lovey dovey thing but i got carried away:( If you need me to rewrite it, just let me know)

I knew you were gonna hit up my line

It was only just a matter of time

“Ellie” her voice sounded soft and pained through the phone “I did it again” she whispered

“Fuck baby I thought you said you’d stop”

“I’m sorry els” she cried “please come help me”

With a sigh Ellie ended the call, rubbing her eyes lazily. Ellie knew you were going to call her. She knew it would only be a matter of time before you reached out to her again. And she knew she shouldn’t go. She shouldn’t help you. You go yourself into this situation. You can get yourself out of it.

But it was as if a magnetic force drew you to her. The harder she fights the attraction she has for you, the more she wants you. You were dangerous. Ruthless.  This was a mistake. Falling for you was a mistake. But oh how Ellie loved you.

And here she was driving to your apartment. Your saving grace. No matter what you did, Ellie could never hate you. Even if that includes you murdering someone.

Was it a case of out of state, out of mind?

'Cause something 'bout you just ain't right

You told me that you were gon' see me later

Maybe you were tryna be sweet

Got me clutching on my pillow

And checking out the window

But what you want with me?

Do you really love me? Are you only using me? What are we? What am I to you? Do you really care about me? Do you even fucking love me?

The questions float around in Ellie’s mind. Ellie was on her hands and knees scrubbing the floors, trying to get the blood out of your carpet as you lay sound asleep.

You had a hold on her. A very unhealthy hold. Ellie can’t look at anyone else, she can’t think of anyone else. Hell, she doesn’t get turned on by anyone else but you.

She remembers those many nights where you text her saying you’ll come over. The nights where she’d stay awake looking out of her window, waiting for you like a dog waiting for its owner. The nights she stayed awake sobbing when you don’t respond to her. Everything you do, everything you say affects her. You consumed her. And fuck Ellie hates it.

Maybe you’re just being nice? Only talking to her out of pity. Or at least that what Dina says.

“Ellie she doesn’t love you. If she did she would’ve committed to you, all you are is a quick fuck”

And she knew Dina, was telling the truth, but she was in denial.  She ended her friendship with Dina on the spot because no one, absolutely no one says anything negative about you or your relationship.

Ellie’s eyes focused on your body, she watched your chest rise slightly. Ellie wiped the blood from her hands, on her jeans and she slowly walked to where you lay. She gently lay next to you, looking at the dried blood on your hands and mouth.

The first time Ellie met you, she knew there was something off about you. The way stared at people, the way you would always get steak and ask for it to be extremely rare. But just because you like getting your stake a little rare doesn’t mean you were mentally ill or something.

 But every time Ellie looked at you, there was something telling her to get away, don’t get involved, run

Don’t fall in love

If only she listened.

You and Ellie soon became friends with benefits. Hooking up, going on little dates. And even though Ellie knew you didn’t want a relationship she couldn’t help but fall for you. You were the only thing on her mind. And she thought over time she’d eventually move on. But no. Here she is two years later questioning if you really love her or not.

She doesn’t remember how it happened. All she remembered was walking into your apartment and seeing someone’s leg on the table. She still doesn’t know how you convinced her to help you kill people and to cut them up.

 For fucks sake Ellie should go the police, and she should get you into a mental hospital. But she cant. Because she loves you. Every time you’d call her crying and saying Ellie I did it again, she’d always come over and help you clean the mess. Ellie would spend hours dismembering bodies for you. She’d do anything for you.

And here she lay next to you once again, surrounded by blood and pieces of a random guy questioning if you really loved her, or if you’re only using her.

Where did you come from, baby?

And why'd you keep bringin' me down?

'Cause if you don't want me, baby

Then why you keep me around?

Boy, I don't want no drama

I got to move on in line

I won't let you cause me trauma

You just want to waste my time

It feels like a rock has been tied to her ankle, and she was thrown into the ocean slowly sinking as the water filled her lugs, drowning her. That’s what it feels like being in a relationship with you. Ellie is drowning in all these unanswered questions.

 If you didn’t want her, you should say something. You should stop giving her hope. Stop making her think she’s special. Stop making her think she has a future with you. You traumatized her, in more ways than one. She thought your relationship would be simple, filled with love, but god was she wrong. Were you putting spells on her? Why was she infatuated with you? These are just more questions that will go unanswered.

You’re a cannibal and god knows how many people you’ve killed. But you were Ellie’s girl. You were the light in her dark and depressing life. “Love conquers all” they say. And Ellie thinks that quote applies to your relationship. But love cant conquer all if it’s one sided. So once again she sat with the question, do you really love her or were you just using her to clean up your mess?

Haven't seen you in a minute

You probably wanna wrap me in it

Got me in deep, I just wanna hold you, tеll you all my feelings

Been cleanin' my room for hours

You better comе through with flowers

Your love is bliss, but I know

It feels like a rock has been tied to her ankle, and she was thrown into the ocean slowly sinking as the water filled her lugs, drowning her. That’s what it feels like being in a relationship with you. Ellie is drowning in all these unanswered questions.

 If you didn’t want her, you should say something. You should stop giving her hope. Stop making her think she’s special. Stop making her think she has a future with you. You traumatized her, in more ways than one. She thought your relationship would be simple, filled with love, but god was she wrong. Were you putting spells on her? Why was she infatuated with you? These are just more questions that will go unanswered. You’re a cannibal and god knows how many people you’ve killed. But you were Ellie’s girl. You were the light in her dark and depressing life. “Love conquers all” they say. And Ellie thinks that quote applies to your relationship. But love cant conquer all if it’s one sided. So once again she sat with the question, do you really love her or were you just using her to clean up your mess?

Haven't seen you in a minute

You probably wanna wrap me in it

Got me in deep, I just wanna hold you, tеll you all my feelings

Been cleanin' my room for hours

You better comе through with flowers

Your love is bliss, but I know

After that night, that Ellie cleaned your house once again. She hasn’t heard from you in weeks. She’ll never admit it out loud, but she missed you. She was lonely. She was starved for your presence.

But you not messaging her was a good thing, this could be her chance to move on. To find someone new. To finally fall out of love with a cannibal.

And she tried. She really did.

She went on dates, hook ups, parties, but nothing worked. No one was you. And Ellie soon realized she’s fucked for life. Your silence was probably a sign of you telling her hey! I’m not in love with you, but Ellie can’t give up. She won’t. You were the air she breathed. And she was going to get you back.

And that’s what she did. She showed up at your apartment, ignoring the blood splattered everywhere, she walked straight to your room. Before you could say anything Ellie smashed her lips into yours, tasting blood as she kissed you. A taste she had gotten used to at this point. The kiss was pure bliss, filled with passion and love.

And as she was kissing you she realized just how in love she was with you. She was in deep for you. And god, she won’t let go of you.

If you don't really care about it

And this ain't what you wanted

Then I gotta throw in the towel

But you don't you treat me like a child

And yell me, all these lies

I'm begging you, don't be cruel

Just say that we're through

All the times you’ve lied, manipulated and gas-lighted her should’ve made her leave you. Ellie knows you don’t care about her. She knows you’ll never leave her alone until she says you should. But she also knows she’ll never find someone better than you. In the last two years you were together, through the lies, you showed her the love she wanted, and she showed you the commitment you craved.

 And even as cruel as it is, even though it kills Ellie that you don’t love her, she’ll stay. She’ll always be by your side.

She thought she needed you to leave her to be a better person. But no, all she needed was to accept that you’ll never love her. And she’ll never be anything more than a cleaner to you. Her love and loyalty will be enough for the both of you.

She thought you were wasting her time, by trapping her in this loveless, and violent relationship. But all the time Ellie wasted on you was made up by all the nights you spent by her, and promised her sweet nothings.

You might only be using Ellie to clean up your mess, but she doesn’t give two fucks. As long as she’s with you killing and dismembering a couple of people is worth it.

Authors note: My second request! Thank you to everyone who has been requesting things! Keep them coming:) Remember requests are always open, you are loved and remember to always be kind!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

can you talk more about ellie’s grading and the feedback she gives? i wanna know how intellectual she is insane iq core 💔💔💔

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie uses red pens exclusively—not out of malice, but because she thinks it forces you to really see yourself. Her notes aren’t just critiques, they’re personal. “You know this theory, stop playing small” scrawled in the margins feels more like a confession than advice.

☆ She’s the professor everyone is a little scared of until they actually talk to her. Intense in lecture, terrifyingly smart—but she softens when she talks one-on-one. Her voice lowers, her eyes track yours as if she’s cataloguing your brain. She listens like your thoughts matter.

☆ If she sees potential in you, your returned paper ends up looking like a co-written piece. Whole blocks of her handwriting argue or build on your points, sometimes more verbose than your actual body paragraphs.

☆ Her most devastating feedback is always kind. “You hesitated here—why?” or “Don’t dilute a brilliant argument to make it sound ‘acceptable’.” You leave her office hours feeling like you just got psychoanalyzed and inspired.

☆ You notice she always returns your papers last. When you joke about it, she just says, “Yours require more... attention.” Her gaze lingers too long after. You think maybe she’s memorizing your arguments—or your face.

☆ You show up early. She pretends to be annoyed but always saves your favorite chair. Sometimes you catch her looking at your hands while you talk. She taps her pen when she’s holding back something.

☆ “Your phrasing here? Lethal. That’s how you cut through academic fluff.” It’s high praise from Ellie, but it feels like she’s talking about more than your essay.

☆ You don’t know this, but the first time you absolutely killed a complex theory with original thought, she kept a copy. She rereads it sometimes when she’s stuck in her own writing. She’d never tell you—but it’s annotated in the margins with her own thoughts. Like a conversation.

☆ She’ll slide your graded paper toward you and say, “Nice work,” before walking off. You find a sticky note inside later that says:

“Your logic here is brutal. You’d make a terrifying debater. You should come to my next seminar. If you're free.”

☆ If you ever push back on one of her comments (politely), she’ll go silent for a beat too long. Then she’ll smirk, lean back in her chair, and say, “Fair point.” But you catch the flush on her neck.

☆ When you lend her a book you love, she gives it back full of tabs and handwritten notes. Her handwriting shifts depending on emotion: neat when she agrees, sharp when she’s frustrated, small and slanted when something hit her too hard.

☆ She reads between the lines—not just in your essays, but in how you speak. If your writing suddenly lacks fire, she’ll ask, “What happened to your voice?” with more concern than she lets on.

☆ She has a private Spotify playlist titled after your most compelling paper. It’s full of moody, ambient instrumentals that make her think of you pacing a library aisle.

☆ Gives You Optional Extra Assignments That Are Secretly Dates “Analyze this journal article if you want... I’ll be in my office at 6.” She gives you wine after hours and calls it a discussion session.

☆ She never says it aloud, but in her mind, she calls you “Bright girl” or “My sharp one.” Sometimes those almost slip out.

☆ Has a Folder of Your Work. Digitally and physically. Not just because you’re a good student, but because she thinks you're one of the most important thinkers she's taught. It’s her little shrine.

☆ Can't Hide Her Pride When You Speak in Class. Even when she’s trying to stay composed, her eyes flicker with excitement when you raise your hand. Sometimes she smirks when you quote her back to herself.

☆ Touches Her Lip When She Reads Your Work. She doesn’t notice she does this. But whenever a line of yours punches through her, she’ll sit back, pen to her mouth, eyebrows slightly raised, like she’s just been got.

☆ Notices Your Scent. Once, you leaned over her desk and the smell of your perfume clung to her sweater. She wore it again the next day—“by accident.”

☆ You once mentioned a quote from a female philosopher you admire, and Ellie responded a little too coldly. Later you found your copy of that author’s book in her office—full of her annotations. She's studying your mind through what you love.

☆ Writes Feedback That’s Basically Poetry. Sometimes her comments feel like verses. “You bent truth until it screamed—good. Now own it.” You don’t know if she’s flirting or just brilliant.

☆ You Catch Her Staring at You During Lectures. She’ll be mid-lecture and pause just a second too long on you. It makes your stomach flip. She always looks away first.

☆ Hates Giving You Anything Below an A. If your work ever slips, she spends forever writing the feedback. It pains her to mark you down—but she refuses to baby you. You’d never respect her if she did.

☆ Has Dreams About Debating You. Sometimes she jolts awake after a dream where you out-argued her in front of a whole academic panel. She was proud and a little turned on.

☆ Knows Your Favorite Pen. She keeps a matching one in her desk drawer. She says it’s coincidence. It’s not.

☆ She’s the Only One Allowed to Critique You. If someone else in class makes a dismissive comment about your work, Ellie will eviscerate them—politely, devastatingly. You leave class blushing. They leave in silence.

☆ She Has Your Writing Style Memorized. If someone read her a passage of your work out loud, she’d know it was yours immediately—by cadence, syntax, and how you handle commas like you’re carving something open.

☆ Her Voice Softens When She Says Your Name. Even when she’s frustrated or passionate, your name is the one word that always comes out gentle. A pause in a storm.

☆ Writes You Into Her Lectures. Without naming you, she’ll quote your paper in front of the class. “A student once said something that stuck with me…” She knows you know it’s you.

☆ She’d Risk Her Career for You. She hasn't yet. But she’s thought about it. Late at night, with one of your essays open in her lap, wondering if knowing someone’s mind this intimately should feel like falling.

heyy could you write something based on Dark Red by Steve Lacy?

i love all your works btw

Dark red - (ellie williams x reader)

hi poookie!! thank you sm!! i hope you don't mind me writing this as a gore story, I've been writing a lot of fluff recently and i missed my violent stories, but if you want me to write a different version just let me know!!! i hope you enjoy <33

This story is based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy, if you can please listen to the song while you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

HUGE warning: murder, kidnapping, being held hostage, dead bodies, violence

Summary: in which she wanted you to herself

masterlist

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know what, but I feel it coming

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

I just hope she don't wanna leave me"

Something bad was going to happen. Ellie could feel it in her bones. She doesn't know why she feels this way, but ever since she woke up this morning, she's been filled with dread. A heaviness in her gut she can't shake off.

Ellie sat at her desk, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring. She hasn't been home for the last 3 days because of school spirit week.

Ellie was so pissed off when she heard they were having a camping day, a sleepover and a all nighter back to back. Everyone was complaining that they were exhausted due to all the activities happening at school, but Ellie wasn't thinking about sleep.

She was thinking about you.

She was always thinking about you.

Ellie could see everyone was staring at the clock, they were practically counting down the seconds before the bell rang. They wanted to go home.

Ellie wanted to go home too, she needed to get home to you.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Before the bell rang the intercom went off. The students groaned thinking that they had to stay at school for another day.

"Can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office. Ellie Williams. I repeat, can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office"

fuck.

The bell rang soon after and everyone ran to the door, Ellie watched as they ran like animals.

"Fucking idiots" she thought to herself

She waited till most of the kids were gone, before she got up grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the office.

She knocked on the door, and she heard a small "come in".

She let out a sigh as she reluctantly pushed open the door and she was greeted by a the principal and a detective.

What the fuck?

"Close the door and sit down" the principal instructed.

As she sat down her heartrate increased. Her ears were ringing, her palms were sweaty.

The detective cleared his throat before he spoke "as you know y/n has been missing for 3 months now"

She nods

"after further investigation, it seems you were the last one seen with her"

"Was i really or are you looking for someone to blame?" Ellie asked with a raised brow.

She knew where you were, but she couldn't tell him that.

"Ms Williams you're under suspension of kidnapping"

Ellies fists clench by her sides "why am i? Just because i was last seen with her?"

"You guys were best friends, many people said you were close, some say you where obsessed"

Oh she was mad. Ellie was really mad. She wasn't obsessed, she just cared about you.

"i wasn't" she said through gritted teeth.

"We think you know where she is"

Ellie got up, her fist hitting the table "so you're accusing an underage child of kidnapping? do i look like I'm capable of doing that?"

"Ms Williams-"

"no"

Ellie turned to the door and she stormed out. She walked out of the building rushing home to see you.

She hoped you didn't leave her.

"Don't you give me up, please don't give up

On me, I belong with you and only you, baby

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you"

They weren't wrong about what ellie had done to you.

But she had to do it! How else was she supposed to keep you to herself?

Ellie always has feelings for you. Ever since you shyly asked her for a pencil in year 8, she's been all over you. As the years went by her fondness towards you grew, you made her blush, you made her giggle, you made her so fucking happy.

Overtime the two of you built a good friendship but Ellie always wanted more.

It was a Thursday, the sun was shining and the two of had a science project to finish.

The homecoming dance was getting closer and she wanted to ask you. Ellie thought this was the perfect moment to ask you.

"So....with who are you going to homecoming?" Ellie asked clearing her throat

"oh Dina asked me"

"what did you say?"

"I said yes, i think Dina is cute"

No no no no no no no

Not her. You belong to her. You were hers. Not Dina. You were supposed to go with her.

No no no no no

"Ellie?" You asked with concern seeing her zoned out expression.

Ellie looked at you briefly before her hands wrapped around your neck. You let out a silent scream trying to scratch her. You tried fighting but you couldn't. Ellie was stronger than you, she was bigger too.

Eventually you went limp in her hands.

Heavy breaths left Ellie's mouth.

You were still breathing. Good.

She dragged you to her house, hiding behind bushes once in a while to make sure no one saw her. She dragged you into her house, and into her basement.

Ellie placed your body onto the cold floor and she watched you breathing faintly.

Now you cant go with Dina.

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way, I don't know maybe

I think of her so much, it drives me crazy

What if she's fine?

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long"

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just having bad thoughts. Ellie has always had a tendency to overthink things.

She knew it was bad to overthink but she was always prepared for the worst.

When Ellie first kidnapped you, 3 months ago everything was fine.

You never screamed, you never fought back, you always tried negotiating or escaping which was good because she didn't need to tie you up or gag you.

You made things easy for her. Ellie fed you, she kept you company, she tried to be Dina.

She really tried to keep you happy.

You didn't need Dina, you needed her.

But for the last month you've been very sick. You barley spoke, you barley ate, you barley moved.

There was something wrong with you, she just didn't know what it was.

Since she hasn't been home for 3 days, Ellie didn't know if you would still be alive. There was no one to feed you. No one to talk to you. You were all alone.

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just overthinking it.

Her house key rattled as she pushed open the door. She quickly made her way to the basement, unlocking the door. She walked down the stairs quietly calling your name.

You didn't say anything. She didn't see any movement. she slowly made her way to the bed she had made for you and there you were.

Your skin was pale, cold and it was turning blue. You weren't breathing.

Ellie let out a sigh as she gently grabbed your body, hugging you, not caring of the smell.

Atleast Dina cant get to you.

You were hers. You were safe. You were ok. You now only belong to her.

<3

i LOVE your headcanons of professor ellie 💗 could you write hcs of how ellie reacts to/feels about readers partying/drinking habits? since it’s college lololol tysm!!

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ The relationship started slow—Ellie couldn’t help the way she stared a little too long when you answered in class, the way her voice softened only when calling your name.

☆ You were top of your class, confident but kind—and the fact that you had no idea how captivating you were made her want you more.

☆ Ellie told herself she’d keep it professional, but she crumbled the first time you stayed after class to ask about office hours and bit your lip nervously.

☆ One night, a study session in her office turned into brushing fingers… then grazing knees… then a kiss that shifted her entire world.

☆ You’re young, wild, and still living the typical campus life—going out with friends, drinking, wearing short dresses.

☆ At first, Ellie tries to be understanding—you’re just being normal, she tells herself.

☆ But every time you text her “going out tonight!” she feels her chest tighten.

☆ Her mind instantly conjures images of guys hitting on you, or worse—touching you.

☆ She’s already emotionally unwell just thinking about you drunk around people who don’t know you belong to her.

☆ She never says “don’t go”—instead, it’s “be safe” and “text me the second you get home.”

☆ You send her a mirror selfie before going out, and it ruins her entire night.

☆ “You look incredible,” she texts—but she’s chewing her cheek in rage, wondering who else will see you like that.

☆ She zooms in on the picture, analyzing every detail: your neckline, your expression, who might be in the reflection.

☆ If you don’t answer for longer than an hour, she spirals.

☆ She doesn’t sleep until you text her that you're back home safe.

☆ If you mention a guy buying you a drink, she shuts down—dry, short replies until you call her and soothe the ache.

☆ If you tell her someone flirted with you, she pretends to laugh—but she writes that guy’s name down in her mental burn book.

☆ One night you send her a blurry photo of your friends cheering shots. She doesn’t respond for an hour because she’s pacing in her apartment.

☆ If you flirt with her when drunk, she melts—but also scolds you after: “Don’t say that to me when you’re not in control.”

☆ She feels disgustingly possessive, and it makes her feel guilty—but not enough to stop.

☆ She wants to be better. She knows she shouldn’t control you.

☆ But the thought of someone else having your attention even for a second drives her into silent storms.

☆ She journals about it often—how hard it is to love someone you can’t touch in public.

☆ She knows if someone finds out, it’s over—for her career, your education, maybe even you.

☆ That fear claws at her every time you disappear into a crowd of drunk strangers.

☆ Ellie starts secretly tracking your phone—not because she doesn’t trust you, but because she doesn’t trust anyone else.

☆ She learns your friends’ names and subtly checks their socials for anything that could trace back to her.

☆ If she sees a tagged pic of you with too much skin or someone’s hand on your back, she gets nauseous.

☆ She once messaged you, “Please untag that. It’s too risky,” and you didn’t even question it.

☆ She keeps a hoodie of hers in your dorm room that she tells you to wear home if you’re ever walking late.

☆ She buys you pepper spray and teaches you how to use it “just in case.”

☆ She walks you through fake alibis—what to say if someone asks who you were texting, who picked you up, where you were last night.

☆ She memorizes your schedule so she can predict when you’ll be on campus—and how to avoid you in public, just in case.

☆ She deletes her messages from your phone every few days, but backs them up in a private drive—just for her.

☆ She creates an alternate email address for your personal conversations, completely off-campus.

☆ The first time you drunk-dial her, she doesn’t answer—she panics, lets it go to voicemail.

☆ She listens to the voicemail alone, heart racing as you slur out how much you love her.

☆ She saves the voicemail. Listens to it ten times. But deletes it the next morning because it’s too dangerous.

☆ The second time you drunk-text her gibberish, she replies with “Baby, are you safe? Who are you with? Where are you?”

☆ If you ever say “come get me,” she will. Even if it’s midnight. Even if it risks everything.

☆ She keeps a hoodie, water, and mints in the backseat of her car just in case you call.

☆ The first time you cry after partying—someone being too aggressive, getting sick—Ellie holds you in her apartment and swears you’ll never go out again.

☆ After a party, you sneak into her place and she undresses you gently, muttering, “You’re killing me.”

☆ She always washes your makeup off and gives you oversized sweats to sleep in.

☆ She whispers, “Mine,” into your hair when you’re too tipsy to remember.

☆ She holds your face and says, “No more guys buying you drinks. Let me take care of you.”

☆ She leaves bruises where no one can see—under your clothes, on your thighs, between your ribs—so you remember who owns you.

☆ Ellie sometimes skips dinner just because she’s anxious you’re out without her.

☆ She watches stories obsessively—knows who you're with, what bar you’re at, what time the music changes.

☆ If a guy posts you even in the background of his story, she takes screenshots and studies it.

☆ She’s thought about showing up undercover, just to watch. Just to make sure you’re safe.

☆ She keeps your location pulled up during her late-night grading sessions, constantly checking if you’ve gotten home.

☆ She keeps a playlist called “when she’s out drinking”—half love songs, half rage anthems.

☆ Eventually, she starts subtly encouraging you to stay in. “I miss you. Come here instead?”

☆ She buys wine and sets up little movie nights to make staying home more appealing.

☆ She starts whispering the future to you during pillow talk: “One day this won’t have to be secret. You’ll just come home to me.”

☆ She says she doesn’t care about other people, but the truth is: you belong to her.

☆ She fantasizes about the day it’s all out in the open—no more parties, no more sneaking around, just you and her.

☆ Her possessiveness grows in silence, but she masks it with careful restraint—because keeping you safe means keeping the secret intact.

☆ And when you sleep in her bed, curled around her, she holds you tighter than she should, whispering, “I’ll protect you. From them. From everything. Just stay mine.”

Can you do smt for abby with the song new magic wand by Tyler the creator?

I love her puppy eyes and muscles so much 🥺

Also, i love obsessive women so

New Magic Wand - abby anderson x reader

hi anon!! fictional obsessive women are so hot ughhhhhhhh. i hope you enjoy:) also abby in this pic??? i love her.

this story is based off the song new magic wand by tyler the creator. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: dark themes, obsession, violence, psychological tension

Summary: Abby has never been good at letting things go. And she sure as hell isn't letting go of you.

Masterlist

You met Abby during a supply run in Jackson. Just two soldiers assigned to the same patrol, nothing special. But there was something about you—your laugh, maybe. The way you didn’t flinch when she barked orders. The way you looked at the world like it hadn’t completely fallen apart.

That was two months ago.

Now, she watches you from the shadows.

She doesn’t mean to. At first, it was casual. Coincidental. A walk past the stables. Lingering near the training yard. Asking around. But then she saw you with someone else. That girl—Mia, from the medbay. Too close. Touching your wrist. Whispering.

Abby’s jaw locked so tight her molars ached.

She waited. Quiet. Calculating.

She told herself you weren’t hers. But that wasn’t true. Not really.

You were hers. You just didn’t know it yet.

“She’s gonna be dead, I just got a magic wand.”

You started noticing strange things.

Your door left slightly ajar when you knew you closed it. The sweater you thought you lost suddenly reappearing on your cot. A shadow behind you in the glass of the dining hall. At first, you brushed it off. The world was full of paranoia and trauma—maybe it was just stress.

Then Mia disappeared.

She never showed up to her shift. Her bunk was untouched. No note. No signs of struggle.

You asked questions. Abby watched you from across the rec room as you begged the search party to look further. No one had the energy to care. People disappeared sometimes.

But Abby cared.

Abby had taken care of the problem.

She didn't use a "magic wand"—just her hands. Just enough pressure. She didn’t scream. Abby was proud of that. No mess. No loose ends.

She thought you'd notice her now. You didn’t.

You started pulling away. Spending more time alone. Your smile—her favorite thing about you—began to dim. She hated that. Hated that you didn’t know she was trying to protect you.

Abby tried to get closer. Leaving you small things. A can of your favorite peaches. A leather glove you mentioned needing. You thanked her, politely.

But not the way she wanted.

“I need to get her out the picture, she’s really fucking up my frame.”

Abby started dreaming about you. In those dreams, you kissed her like you meant it. You let her hold you. You begged her to stay. Woke up to soaked sheets and a clenched jaw.

Reality was uglier. You barely looked at her now. You were scared—she could see it in your eyes. That made her blood boil and her stomach twist.

It was that fucking patrol leader next.

Sergio.

Too friendly. Too smug. Too willing to walk next to you, show you how to hold a better grip on your rifle.

Abby followed him. Took his knee out behind the stables. Broke his arm and left him in the snow. Said she found him that way.

It wasn’t about jealousy, she told herself. It was about clarity. You and her—there was no room for anyone else in the picture.

They were ruining the shot. The life she could see so clearly with you.

She’d fix it.

“I wanna be found, passenger in your car.”

You knew it by the fourth disappearance. This wasn’t just coincidence. Someone was doing this.

Someone was doing this for you.

That’s when you found the journal.

Hidden under the floorboard in the old stables. Pages and pages of your name. Drawings of your face. A lock of your hair taped to the corner of a page. Abby’s messy handwriting scrawled beneath every entry:

“I saw her smile today. I think she smiled at me.”

“She wore her green coat. It suits her. She looked cold—I should bring her another.”

“She looked at her again. I want to rip her throat out.”

“She's mine. She just doesn't understand yet.”

Your breath caught. She was watching you. All this time.

“You got a new friend, it hurts. I’ll make you one, I’ll make you one.”

You confronted her. Cornered her in the greenhouse, where no one else went anymore.

"Abby," you said, voice trembling. "What the fuck did you do?"

She didn’t deny it. Just looked at you like she always had—like you were the sun burning through her skull.

“I protected you,” she said. “They didn’t deserve you. None of them did.”

“You killed them,” you whispered.

She stepped closer. You flinched. That hurt her—cut deep.

“I’d do it again,” Abby murmured, voice soft and low. “I’d do anything for you.”

You should’ve run. You should’ve screamed.

But something in her eyes—something fractured and sincere—rooted you in place.

She reached out, calloused fingers brushing your cheek. You didn’t move.

"You don’t have to be scared," she whispered. "I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want you to see. We can be good, you and me."

And despite everything—the deaths, the obsession, the blood on her hands—your heart stuttered.

Because some broken, desperate part of you wanted to believe her.

Wanted to believe you could be loved that completely.

“Please don’t leave me now.”

Abby kept you in a cabin miles from Jackson. Safe. Stocked. Secluded. A place where no one could come between you.

She made you tea. Lit the fireplace. Spoke softly. Touched you like you were made of glass.

You tried to run once. She found you hours later, frostbitten and sobbing.

She carried you back. Wrapped you in blankets. Kissed your forehead.

“You don’t get it,” she murmured against your skin. “You’re all I have left.”

And eventually...you stopped fighting. Let her touch linger. Let her hold you at night.

You told yourself it was survival. But when she kissed you the first time, your lips parted.

Not in protest.

But in surrender.

omg sorry if i explote ur inbox, its just- i have so many ideas and love ur writing

queen it's ok!! You can send as many as you'd like😭✋🏼 I love your requests

pls make reader and milf!abby have a baby together 😭😭😭

Baby - part 1/3 (Milf!Abby x reader)

This is going to be a 3 part series! Part 2 will be released soon:)

Milf abby: Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

baby series: part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

Authors note: i'm back fr, i finally finished with exams and I'm here to spam with fics again

☆ Milf Abby who was happy with the life the two of you were already living but something was missing.

☆Milf Abby who always thought you were good with kids

☆ Milf Abby who never really thought about having another kid until she married you.

☆ Milf Abby who thinks about it a little too much, if she has to be honest

☆ Milf Abby who never brought up the conversation of having another baby even though you were hinting at having another kid.

"Abby isn’t this cute" you said with a pout as you handed her a onesie you bought for Mel's baby shower.

"Abby look" you pointed at Aubrey playing with one of your collogues newborn baby: "she’d be such a good big sister"

☆ Milf Abby who would only nod or smile at whatever you had to say involving babies because she was terrified.

☆ Milf Abby who was asked about when the two of you were gonna have a baby.

"So..." Nora started

"yeah?" the blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow

"when are you and your girl gonna have a baby?"

suddenly Abby's body went cold, she could hear her heart beating out of her chest and she silently stared at Nora with wide eyes.

"We um-"

"Abby having another baby?"

They heard a voice talk from behind them. Both of the girls heads snapped into the direction of the voice and there stood Mel, still heavily pregnant.

"When you have a kid you should be able to play with them, and to run around- don’t you think you passed that stage already? Don’t you have back pain or something?"

"Mel" Nora said sternly.

"no Nora she has to hear the truth" Mel replied.

Abby met the eyes of the brunette and Mel gave her a sympathetic smile: "by the time your baby is ten you'd almost be sixty, you'd be her grandma Abby"

☆ Milf Abby who agreed with Mel.

☆ Milf Abby who avoided you for a few days because she felt like she was keeping you back in life.

"Can you shut the fuck up" she said with a frustrated sigh.

You looked at her with a raised eyebrow. You knew there was something wrong due to her distant behavior recently. You thought she was stressed, tired maybe.

“Abby I just asked if you wanted something to eat”

Abby looked at you with a blank facial expression, before she looked down to the floor, brining her head into her hands.

You walked towards her putting your hand on her shoulder “talk to me abs”

you felt her muscles tense underneath your touch “c’mon Abby you can tell me anything”

she finally looked up from her hands, and she made brief eye contact with you before she looked away once again

“I-“

“spit it out”

“I don’t think we should have a baby”

“what?”

“listen baby” she started, and she gently took your hands into hers as she saw your eyes fill with tears

“I did some thinking, and I don’t think we should have a baby because I’m happy just with you and Aubrey. Don’t you think another baby will complicate our life?”

You stared at her in shock, how could she not tell you about this earlier?

“Abby you knew. You fucking knew I wanted to have kids, and you said you wanted the same. Now you want to change your mind?”

“Can I not change my mind?”

“You have every right to, but you know how I felt about having kids. You know that I've always wanted to be a mom"

She knew that. She knew all of this.

“aren’t you already a mom to Aubrey? Are you saying my daughter isn't good enough?”

“I did not fucking say that and you know that”

“but you meant it”

“fuck you” was all you said as you got up and walked towards the room the two of you shared.

She doesn’t know why she said that.

God Abby fucking knows what she said was wrong. It's not that she doesn’t want to have kids, its just she knew Mel had a point. She would be in her sixties by the time your baby would be done with high school.

Maybe she was too old after all.

☆ Milf Abby who had to listen to you sob throughout the night.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you the next morning.

Abby let out a groan as she heard Aubrey giggle. She brought her hands up to her eyes as she opened them.

The light has always been bright in the living, but jesus she didn’t know they were this fucking bright.

Abby winched as she sat up from the couch, her limbs felt like they were burning. Her eyes fell on you and Aubrey. The two of you were eating and smiling, and as she took in the scene and she knew it was fucked up of her to say what she said yesterday.

Abby got up, still feeling stiff but she made her way towards the two people who she loved the most.

Aubrey gave her a bug smile and muttered a quick "good morning mommy" before she ran to her room. She smiled at her daughters before she focused her attention towards you.

You didn't even look at her.

She felt sick to her stomach.

“I left some eggs for you” was all you said before you walked out the kitchen.

Abby really fucked up.

☆ Milf Abby who tried getting your attention all week but you ignored her.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you but all you replied with was “I don’t want to talk”

☆ Milf Abby who finally had enough and she decided that she should tell you what actually happened.

☆ Milf Abby who showed up to your classroom once again.

The room was empty and you stood with your back facing away from the door. Abby quietly walked towards you.

“hi”

she watched as your body jerked “jesus Abby I told you that you should start knocking” you said out of breath.

"Sorry" she mumbled

"can we talk?" she watched you facial expression turn cold.

“sure”

“thank you”

The room was filled a awkward silence, it was tense and it felt suffocating.

“talk Abby, I have things to do”

“I'm sorry”

“is sorry all you can fucking say?”

Abby wanted to bang her head against a wall.

“I want to have a baby with you”

“aw you changed your mind? What happened? Did I force you Abby? Are you sure you want this Abby? Oh wait! I don’t think I want to be a mom anymore, since you said that I m practically going to replace Aubrey. Oops let me-"

"it was Mel"

"what did Mel do?"

And the truth came out. Abby told you everything she said, how I made her feel.

You gave her a sympathetic smile before you spoke again: "You need to stop letting people tell you you're too old Abby. You keep losing opportunities, you keep giving yup your dreams, as soon as someone says something. You need to learn that you should stop listing to what others have to say about your age"

“I know but its hard” Abby muttered.

You got up and you walked towards her and you pulled her into a tight up “I know, but we’ll work though it. I’ll help you with whatever and if you don’t want to have a baby its ok-"

"no no I want to have a baby. I want to have one with you"

a smile spread onto your face.

"can we have a baby?" Abby asked.

"if you start working on your self confidence and you stop listing to what bitches have to say about you I will then we can have a baby"

"yes ma'am, i'll do whatever you say"

"one more thing Abby"

"yeah?"

"Don't ever talk to me in that way again. What you said really hurt my feelings, and i understand you were hurting too but it didn't give you the right to talk to me in that way. I love Aubrey more than anything so don't say that again"

"I'm so sorry baby i really am, i there anything i can do to make it up to you?"

"You can start by getting me chocolate milk"

☆ Milf Abby who made it up to you by apologizing over a million times, and by doing every single thing you said.

☆ Milf Abby who immediately started looking for doctors and baby names.

☆ Milf Abby who blocked Mel because fuck her and her fucking opinions.

☆ Milf Abby who did started working on her self confidence and she immediately felt better about everything.

☆ Milf Abby who was excited to have a baby with you.

<3

My pookies (the taglist): @lia-winther @hellorai

your writing is so good :(( i would really like to see more of professor ellie

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie leaves post-it notes around the house with little observations or facts—like “Did you know an octopus has three hearts?”—signed “Prof. Williams.”

☆ Her morning coffee routine is sacred; she makes a second cup automatically for you, even before you’re awake.

☆ She reads peer-reviewed articles in bed and mumbles criticisms under her breath while you drift off beside her.

☆ Ellie has a very specific chair she grades in and lets no one—not even you—sit in it. But you drape a throw blanket over it to “soften her edges.”

☆ She always corrects the grammar of signs in public and then immediately kisses your cheek to make up for it.

☆ You have a running list of vocabulary words she uses in daily conversation that you make fun of.

☆ Ellie panics if she forgets her planner—it’s her life line. You once hid it as a joke and she almost cried.

☆ You make her wear blue light glasses after she complained about headaches from too much screen time.

☆ Her books are all arranged by subject and subtopic, but there’s a tiny, chaotic shelf of novels you convinced her to read.

☆ She pretends to be annoyed when you fold her clothes wrong but secretly refolds them late at night with a fond smile.

☆ Ellie buys you vintage notebooks because she says your thoughts deserve a beautiful place to live.

☆ She underlines passages in her research books with faint hearts in the margins and lets you find them.

☆ Her favorite way to flirt is through long, winding academic arguments—and she always lets you win.

☆ You once called her "Doctor Williams" during a heated argument and it turned her on. She went silent and red.

☆ She creates elaborate metaphors from her lectures just to compliment you—“If you were a research subject, I'd violate the ethics code to know you better.”

☆ You sit in on her lectures sometimes and she always smirks when she spots you in the back.

☆ She corrects your pronunciation mid-conversation—then kisses your neck to distract you from being annoyed.

☆ Ellie keeps a secret folder on her laptop titled “My Favorite Theories,” and it’s full of quotes you’ve said.

☆ Her handwriting is almost illegible but she writes you love letters on university letterhead like it’s an academic report.

☆ You once found her writing a journal article about love, and every example was clearly about you.

☆ Ellie has a habit of muttering “mine” when you wear her glasses or sweaters.

☆ She's terrible at emotional vulnerability unless it’s 2 a.m. and she’s had too much wine.

☆ She’ll never admit it, but she tracks your schedule as carefully as she tracks her office hours.

☆ Ellie’s idea of intimacy is lying in bed silently, your legs tangled while she edits a manuscript.

☆ She’s obsessed with the back of your neck—always kissing it in passing like a reflex.

☆ You leave her little annotated notes in her books, and she keeps every single one like sacred texts.

☆ She has a playlist titled “My Subject of Study” and every song reminds her of you.

☆ She’s not great with selfies, but she secretly takes pictures of you reading, working, or laughing when you’re not looking.

☆ She’s fiercely protective of your mind—hates when others interrupt you or undermine your opinions in group settings.

☆ You once wrote her a poem and she printed it, framed it, and keeps it in her office behind a stack of journals so no one sees but her.

☆ Ellie spirals if she feels emotionally disconnected from you—she’ll reread texts and reanalyze conversations like case studies.

☆ She memorizes your patterns: the way you chew pens, sigh when thinking, the exact sound of your “I’m tired” voice.

☆ She keeps a folder of your academic achievements and personal wins like she’s building a resume for you.

☆ If someone flirts with you, Ellie becomes icy professional—like a polite shark.

☆ She has intrusive thoughts about losing you during lectures and will stop mid-slide to text “Are you okay?”

☆ You once made a joke about breaking up and she didn’t speak for six hours.

☆ She gets almost religiously intense when she talks about your intelligence—like you’re the final proof of something sacred.

☆ She knows your preferred citation style and uses it when she references you in footnotes.

☆ Ellie gets jealous when other professors praise you too highly—even if she agrees.

☆ You once caught her writing your initials over and over in the margins of her personal notebooks like a lovesick teen.

☆ When you fight, Ellie retreats into silence and overthinks every word you said until she’s made herself sick.

☆ Her apologies are long, detailed, and cited like a research paper—thesis statement, body, conclusion.

☆ She’s incredibly sensitive to tone—one “fine” from you can ruin her whole day.

☆ When she’s upset, she cleans obsessively—especially her desk. You always know something’s wrong when her pens are too perfectly aligned.

☆ She once sent you a long email titled “Re: Our Disagreement” instead of texting you after a fight.

☆ She’s terrified of not being enough for you—but tries to hide it under cold logic.

☆ You’ve had to pull her out of panic spirals during her worst grading weeks when she believes she’s failing at everything, including your relationship.

☆ Sometimes she offers you affection like an apology, and you have to remind her you don’t need to be earned.

☆ Ellie reads out loud to you when you can’t sleep—dense texts, soft poems, even her own work in progress.

☆ She writes one line of a love letter every day in the back of her planner. She says she’ll show it to you in a decade.

☆ She always keeps an extra charger for you in her bag—just in case.

☆ She never starts eating until she sees you take a bite first. Always.

☆ She writes tiny love notes on your receipts, your lecture printouts, your napkins.

☆ Ellie never says “I love you” casually—when she says it, she means it. Every. Time.

☆ She keeps a copy of your handwriting taped inside her wallet.

☆ She kisses your temple like it’s an academic ritual—precision, reverence, consistency.

☆ You once told her she talk-writes in her sleep—and now she worries she says too much while dreaming.

☆ Her love feels clinical sometimes: obsessive, methodical, deeply studied—but it’s real. And it’s yours.

☆ She saves up random facts just to tell you at night, as if your curiosity is the only thing that makes her day complete.

☆ Every time you tell her you love her, she still pauses—like it’s a theory she never quite believes she’s worthy of, but is so desperate to prove.