Requesting A Fic Of Ellie N Reader Running Away And Their Lives Kinda Suck But They’re Still Glad Cuz

Douchebag Ellie supremacy!

Headcannons: douchebag!ellie x reader

☆ Douchebag Ellie who was the most hated girl on campus because she was literally a bitch.

☆ Douchebag Ellie was in the same class as you and who treated you like shit.

“I thought you were smart dude, I got higher than you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would yawn loudly as you try and present. Or she would literally just make random noises. She was trying to get under your skin.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would boo every time your lecturer asked you to answer a question.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who bumps into you on purpose, making you drop your books and then she walks away laughing.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would insult you on a daily basis, when in reality she was looking for ways to talk to you.

“You look fucking disgusting”

“you’re seriously going to wear that?”

“No wonder your ex cheated on you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who thrives off the attention you give her when you yell at her. Or when you tell her to fuck off.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who sits directly behind you and throws notes at you and who thinks it’s funny when you flip her off.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who gets defensive when her friends say she has a crush on you.

“Dude you’re literally fucking in love with her! You already act like a dick in general but you act like a bigger one around her”

“Shut the fuck up Jesse, this is why Dina left you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who watches you smile with other people but when it comes to her you walk past her. And as much as she likes to pretend it didn’t make her feeling anything, she felting something. It hurt.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who feels a pit grow in her stomach when she saw you walking hand in hand with another girl.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who knows it’s not normal to get jealous when you see someone you know walking with someone else.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who realizes she’s in love with you and that she’s fucked.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who becomes worse after that. Harsher insults and snarkier comments.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who’s mad at herself for not talking to you sooner.

“Dude it’s my fault” Ellie sighed one afternoon.

“if you weren’t such a pussy maybe you could talk to her and ask her out” Jesse spoke as he tried comforting his friend.

“she was so rude to that poor girl; I don’t even think she stood a chance” Dina added

☆ Douchebag Ellie who grew quiet and less bitchy.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who stopped making fun of you and completely distanced herself.

“Ellie are you ok?” her eyes snapped open she was met with the girl she was so deeply in love with.

“why do you fucking care?” Ellie snapped.

“I don’t” you answered. “it’s just you didn’t call me stupid of failing my test”

“well you aren’t stupid” Ellie muttered

“what?” You asked “I didn’t hear you”

“Nothing” Ellie muttered.

Ellie brought her hand up to her face as she rubbed her eyes and she let out a sigh. “Look- can I ask you something?” Ellie hesitantly asked.

“sure”

if I- if I wasn’t such a bitch would you like me? Like- you know.. like like me?” Ellie looked at you sheepishly.

“who says I don’t already?” Ellie started at you with wide eyes as you just winked at her,

“see in class Williams!” you said as you walked away

☆ Douchebag Ellie who got hope that she did actually have a change with you.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who made it her mission to make you hers from that day on.

OR UUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME THEY DO IT SHES SO GENTLE

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

warning: NSFW content! MDNI 18+

☆ Ellie’s stares linger — too long, too intense. She’s studied every detail of your face, from the way your lashes lower when you're flustered to how your lips twitch when you’re nervous.

☆ Even before anything happens, she’s gently possessive. Walking you to your car. Checking if you’ve eaten. Leaving you notes like: “Don’t skip meals. Your brain’s too pretty to starve.”

☆ Study sessions blur into deep, aching conversations. Ellie leans close, hand brushing yours “accidentally” more often, and when your knees touch, she doesn’t pull away.

☆ She tests the waters. A hand on your thigh during a shared laugh. Fingers brushing your lower back as she moves past you. Every time, she watches your reaction like it’s data.

☆ Ellie never rushes. She peels back your fears and walls with quiet intimacy — until you're exposed emotionally long before you are physically.

☆ She thinks about you constantly, but she buries the filthier thoughts — for now. She wants the first time to be something you remember forever. Something clean. Almost holy.

☆ It finally happens when you fall asleep in her office during a rainstorm. You’re curled up in her chair, cheeks soft, lips parted. She presses her hand to her heart and mutters, “Fuck, I love you.”

☆ Ellie is slow, deliberate. She asks, “Are you sure?” more than once. Not because she doubts you — but because she can’t believe she finally gets to have you like this.

☆ She doesn’t rush. Every kiss feels like a poem. Every touch is a sentence. She wants to memorize you.

☆ Ellie never stops looking at you. Her voice drops to a whisper, “Let me see you,” and every time your eyes flutter shut, she kisses them open.

☆ She undresses you like she’s unwrapping something sacred. Fingers trembling, voice low: “You’re so beautiful… God, you’re unreal.”

☆ She trails kisses down your neck, your chest, your stomach — pausing to breathe you in like she’s trying to brand the memory into her bones.

☆ She can’t shut up. “You’re perfect,” “You feel like heaven,” “I’ve waited so long for this.” Every word from her lips is soaked in reverence.

☆ She touches you with unbearable care — slow, attentive, gentle enough to make you cry. She whispers, “Tell me what feels good. I want to do it right.”

☆ She nearly tears up when you moan her name for the first time. “Don’t say it like that,” she chokes, “I’m gonna lose it.”

☆ She lets you undress her too — biting her lip as your hands explore. She’s shy, almost bashful, but you can tell how much it affects her.

☆ Between kisses, she leans her forehead against yours. “I’ve never wanted someone like this,” she murmurs, brushing her thumb over your cheek.

☆ There’s no teasing, no performance. It’s raw and honest — Ellie letting herself be soft and human in a way she never shows anyone else.

☆ She keeps whispering your name, like it’s a lifeline. “You’re mine, aren’t you?” she asks, not possessively — but like she’s in awe that it’s real.

☆ She laces your fingers together while inside you. It grounds her. Anchors her to the moment. “Don’t let go,” she says. “Please.”

☆ She wraps you in her arms after — tucks the blanket over you, tucks herself behind you, hand splayed across your stomach like she’s protecting something precious.

☆ She mumbles things in your hair. “You feel like home,” “I’ve wanted this for so long,” “You’re everything.” Half-asleep, full of emotion.

☆ In her mind, she promises: This is only the beginning. I’ll learn every inch of her body. I’ll make her fall apart in a thousand new ways.

☆ After that first time, Ellie starts asking questions. “Do you like it when I hold your wrists?” “What if I got rougher next time?”

☆ You catch glimpses — how her eyes darken when you whimper, how she clenches her jaw when you say please.

☆ She gently pins your hands one night — just to see how you react. When you moan? Her whole body shudders.

☆ The next time, she kisses you harder. Her voice gains weight. She starts giving soft orders. “Spread your legs. Good girl.”

☆ Ellie realizes she loves having control — not to dominate, but to cherish and undo you. Her obsession becomes deeper, darker.

☆ She brings it out a toy nervously, checking your expression. “We don’t have to—” but when you nod, the switch flips. She grins like she’s been waiting for this.

☆ She’s addicted to every reaction you give. The soft gasps. The bitten lip. The trust. She knows she could break you — and the only reason she doesn’t is because she loves you too much.

can you write an ellie fic based off of ‘loosing sleep’ by tzuyu? thank you! <3

Losing sleep - (ellie eilliams x reader)

Hi poookieee!!! i hope you didn't wait too long for this one. I'm lowkey nervous to post this because i wasn't sure if google translate was accurate lol<3333 I hope you enjoy....

This story is based off the song Losing Sleep by TZUYU! If you can, please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: angst

Summary: in which you hated her

masterlist

"Staying in my room

This feeling is vivid on a sleepless night

Yeah, I know what I want

Sensitive sense

The face that emerged between the shimmering moonlight

Baby, oh, it's you

Then my heart is on fire, fire"

You screamed into your pillow as soon as you woke up.

You hated her. So fucking much.

Her entire existence bothered you, the way she talked, the way she breathed.

You hated Ellie Williams so much.

You yelled and yelled till you had no more air left.

When you left the house you saw her, when you were helping Maria in the garden you saw her, you saw her when you did your grocery shopping.

You could blame Jackson for being so small, everyone knows everyone here. But you still hated seeing her. You wish she never came here.

You didn't like the way she smiles, you don't like the way she says your name, you just don't like her.

You laid on the very pillow you just screamed into. Heavy breathes left your mouth as you looked out your window. You've been having vivid dreams about her.

She's haunting you and she didn't even know that.

You laid on your back looking at the ceiling and thinking about the dream that ruined your sleep.

You were walking through a forest. It felt so real.

The moon was high in the sky, casting a beautiful blue light onto your surroundings. You could smell the ground, you could feel the dew on your skin, you could hear the wind blowing. You were at peace.

You smelled her. You knew it was her.

You should've walked away, but you were drawn to her. You heard leaves crunching under your feet as you walked closer.

She was here. You could feel her.

You stopped when you saw a figure standing in the dark.

"Ellie" you whispered.

She took a step forward, the moonlight reflecting on her face. You took in her green eyes, her beautiful smile, her autumn brown hair.

She was beautiful.

"Hi" she said with a smile.

Before you could say anything, you woke up.

She's everywhere in Jackson, you see her stupid face everyday, why should she show up in your dreams too?

You hated Ellie Williams.

But if you hate her so much, why does your heart ache for her?

"Sí, I know you bad for me

But why are you doing this?

I keep wanting and wanting

This craving for you

I've been losing sleep over you

I've been losing sleep over you

I only think of you again

I can't sleep

Losing sleep over you

I've been losing sleep over you

White long chestnuts

Yeah, I need you by my side"

You stared at her when you went to the cafeteria the next day.

You've heard the rumors. Everyone knew of Ellie Williams. The amount of people who dream to have one conversion is endless.

Every time you hear her name, its either a story of her hooking up with someone or her homewrecking a relationship. She is a disgusting human being.

Why do you want her so much? Why do your cheeks heat up when she smiles at you? You crave her. You're starved for her despite her bad reputation.

No wait. You cant want her.

You hate her... right?

Right?

You're afraid to fall asleep. You're afraid that she'll show up in your dreams again. That one dream ruined everything.

Every time you closed your eyes you saw her smiling face.

You needed to escape her, you needed to get away from her, but she's following you around like a stupid fly.

When you lay in your bed at night, you could only think of her.

What she wore that day, with who she talked to.

She's everywhere you go, she consumes most of your thoughts, she haunts you in your dreams, she's making you lose sleep.

You really hated Ellie Williams.

"I can't bear it anymore

The flame spreads through the growing thirst

Call your name

Yeah, I can't stop

All night, all night, yeah, I think of you

Even if I close my eyes for a moment, I dream of you

I'ma dream of you, oh

All of your A to Z

Sweet toxic to me

No one but you

Put this feeling to rest"

You cant take it anymore.

Your body ached for her, in a way you've never experienced. You were thirsty and the only person who could quench that thirst was her.

Everyday without her became harder and harder.

She was all you thought you about, you saw her in everything. You cant stop.

You were addicted to the version of Ellie you created in your head.

You needed her and you were desperate. So desperate that you decided to ask her out.

It was a chilly day and you saw her standing next to Joel. You took a deep breath before you walked towards them, you gave Joel a polite "hello" and he gave you a nod.

You asked Ellie if you could talk privately and she said yes.

Holy shit, she said yes.

Your heart beat faster, she was willing to listen. The two of you walked a little distance away from Joel before you turned to her and immediately asked: "do you want to go on a date?"

She shrugged and said "sure"

She said yes.

You gave her a awkward handshake and you ran home screaming into your pillow.

This was really happening. It's not a dream anymore.

You walked into the tipsy bison, excited to finally talk to her. You stomach dropped when you saw Ellie and a redhead.

Ellie's hand was on her thigh and, and you felt sick.

They were right about her. You've been losing sleep over a girl like Ellie?

This put the feelings you had for Ellie to rest. You were done with her.

You turned and you walked out the bar, before you looked up at the sky.

You really fucking hated Ellie Williams.

<3

Can you do smt for abby with the song new magic wand by Tyler the creator?

I love her puppy eyes and muscles so much 🥺

Also, i love obsessive women so

New Magic Wand - abby anderson x reader

hi anon!! fictional obsessive women are so hot ughhhhhhhh. i hope you enjoy:) also abby in this pic??? i love her.

this story is based off the song new magic wand by tyler the creator. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: dark themes, obsession, violence, psychological tension

Summary: Abby has never been good at letting things go. And she sure as hell isn't letting go of you.

Masterlist

You met Abby during a supply run in Jackson. Just two soldiers assigned to the same patrol, nothing special. But there was something about you—your laugh, maybe. The way you didn’t flinch when she barked orders. The way you looked at the world like it hadn’t completely fallen apart.

That was two months ago.

Now, she watches you from the shadows.

She doesn’t mean to. At first, it was casual. Coincidental. A walk past the stables. Lingering near the training yard. Asking around. But then she saw you with someone else. That girl—Mia, from the medbay. Too close. Touching your wrist. Whispering.

Abby’s jaw locked so tight her molars ached.

She waited. Quiet. Calculating.

She told herself you weren’t hers. But that wasn’t true. Not really.

You were hers. You just didn’t know it yet.

“She’s gonna be dead, I just got a magic wand.”

You started noticing strange things.

Your door left slightly ajar when you knew you closed it. The sweater you thought you lost suddenly reappearing on your cot. A shadow behind you in the glass of the dining hall. At first, you brushed it off. The world was full of paranoia and trauma—maybe it was just stress.

Then Mia disappeared.

She never showed up to her shift. Her bunk was untouched. No note. No signs of struggle.

You asked questions. Abby watched you from across the rec room as you begged the search party to look further. No one had the energy to care. People disappeared sometimes.

But Abby cared.

Abby had taken care of the problem.

She didn't use a "magic wand"—just her hands. Just enough pressure. She didn’t scream. Abby was proud of that. No mess. No loose ends.

She thought you'd notice her now. You didn’t.

You started pulling away. Spending more time alone. Your smile—her favorite thing about you—began to dim. She hated that. Hated that you didn’t know she was trying to protect you.

Abby tried to get closer. Leaving you small things. A can of your favorite peaches. A leather glove you mentioned needing. You thanked her, politely.

But not the way she wanted.

“I need to get her out the picture, she’s really fucking up my frame.”

Abby started dreaming about you. In those dreams, you kissed her like you meant it. You let her hold you. You begged her to stay. Woke up to soaked sheets and a clenched jaw.

Reality was uglier. You barely looked at her now. You were scared—she could see it in your eyes. That made her blood boil and her stomach twist.

It was that fucking patrol leader next.

Sergio.

Too friendly. Too smug. Too willing to walk next to you, show you how to hold a better grip on your rifle.

Abby followed him. Took his knee out behind the stables. Broke his arm and left him in the snow. Said she found him that way.

It wasn’t about jealousy, she told herself. It was about clarity. You and her—there was no room for anyone else in the picture.

They were ruining the shot. The life she could see so clearly with you.

She’d fix it.

“I wanna be found, passenger in your car.”

You knew it by the fourth disappearance. This wasn’t just coincidence. Someone was doing this.

Someone was doing this for you.

That’s when you found the journal.

Hidden under the floorboard in the old stables. Pages and pages of your name. Drawings of your face. A lock of your hair taped to the corner of a page. Abby’s messy handwriting scrawled beneath every entry:

“I saw her smile today. I think she smiled at me.”

“She wore her green coat. It suits her. She looked cold—I should bring her another.”

“She looked at her again. I want to rip her throat out.”

“She's mine. She just doesn't understand yet.”

Your breath caught. She was watching you. All this time.

“You got a new friend, it hurts. I’ll make you one, I’ll make you one.”

You confronted her. Cornered her in the greenhouse, where no one else went anymore.

"Abby," you said, voice trembling. "What the fuck did you do?"

She didn’t deny it. Just looked at you like she always had—like you were the sun burning through her skull.

“I protected you,” she said. “They didn’t deserve you. None of them did.”

“You killed them,” you whispered.

She stepped closer. You flinched. That hurt her—cut deep.

“I’d do it again,” Abby murmured, voice soft and low. “I’d do anything for you.”

You should’ve run. You should’ve screamed.

But something in her eyes—something fractured and sincere—rooted you in place.

She reached out, calloused fingers brushing your cheek. You didn’t move.

"You don’t have to be scared," she whispered. "I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want you to see. We can be good, you and me."

And despite everything—the deaths, the obsession, the blood on her hands—your heart stuttered.

Because some broken, desperate part of you wanted to believe her.

Wanted to believe you could be loved that completely.

“Please don’t leave me now.”

Abby kept you in a cabin miles from Jackson. Safe. Stocked. Secluded. A place where no one could come between you.

She made you tea. Lit the fireplace. Spoke softly. Touched you like you were made of glass.

You tried to run once. She found you hours later, frostbitten and sobbing.

She carried you back. Wrapped you in blankets. Kissed your forehead.

“You don’t get it,” she murmured against your skin. “You’re all I have left.”

And eventually...you stopped fighting. Let her touch linger. Let her hold you at night.

You told yourself it was survival. But when she kissed you the first time, your lips parted.

Not in protest.

But in surrender.

Therefore you and me - part 3/3 (ellie williams x reader)

This series was inspired by the song "Therefore You and Me [故にユーエンミー]

this is the final part! I will not be writing anymore parts to this story, thank you for reading and being patient with me:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, toxic relationships and body mutilation

Summary: In which, Ellie realized that she needed to work on herself.

wc: 700+

part 1 part 2

“You want me to do what?” Ellie’s dad practically screamed. She slightly flinched at the tone of her father’s voice before talking: “it’s the least you could do after fucking abusing me”

“I wasn’t abusing you”

“then what were you doing? showing me love?”

He stayed silent as he stared at Ellie. Surprised she even had the guts to talk back to him. If she was younger, he would’ve grabbed her and thrown her across the room.

“Cat got your tongue?” Ellie asked. “Either you help me” she started, and she made her way over to where he sat. Ellie grabbed the collar of his shirt brining him closer to her face “or I’m going to fucking kill you” she spoke through gritted teeth

And for the first time in his entire life he was terrified of his daughter.

“Ellie” you said softly seeing she was back from wherever she went. You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling the bed was cold. You searched for her, called out to her but she didn’t show up, you went to bed with a heavy heart wondering where she had gone.

Did you make her mad? Maybe you said something? Maybe she’s finally sick of you.

But here she was lying next to you with her back towards you.

“Ellie” you said her name again.

You reached out gently grabbing her arm, her skin was cold to the touch. Colder than it normally was. You sat up immediately grabbing her and turning her over in fear that something happened. As soon as you turned Ellie’s body to face you, her torso was full of a dark red substance.

Your eyes fell down to her hands. Or at least where her hands would’ve been.

Her hands were gone.

The only thing left was a small piece of her wrist bone on either side. You stared down at the scene in shock, you reached out slightly, grabbing Ellie’s arm.

 “Ellie” you breathed out again, trying not to cry. Your vision blurred with tears, your ears were ringing, it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

 “Hi “you heard her voice weakly say. 

“oh Ellie” you breathed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You reached down to bring Ellie to your chest hugging her. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you cried with Ellie in your arms.

You knew this was the end for her. She was already cold to the touch and the amount of blood she’s lost, was a sign that her time on this earth was coming to an end.

 “what the fuck were you thinking Ellie” you cried into her autumn brown hair. She shuffled slightly under you before she spoke up: “now I can’t hurt you”

You pulled away to stare at her, and she weakly brought up her handless arms to proudly show you what she had done.

 “see I can’t hurt you anymore”

“I didn’t mind Ellie”

“But what I was doing was wrong”

“Ellie- “

 “Love isn’t supposed to hurt” she repeated her words from earlier that day.

Another stream of tears ran down your cheeks when you realized she did this for you.

“Ellie who did this?” you asked

“my dad” she responded with a small smile. “I asked him to help me, and look its working I can’t hit you anymore” she said with a small laugh. You brought Ellie back to your chest holding her as your loud sobs filled the room.

 You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting here, holding her. It must’ve been hours because the sun had already risen. Ellie had stopped breathing a while ago her last words being I love you. But you couldn’t seem to let her go. Her blood covered the bed, and your hands. And her words repeated in your head again: “I can’t hurt you anymore”

 She did this for you.

She willingly risked her life for you.

She cut her hands off to keep you safe.

Ellie truly did love you. All the times you doubted that she loved you, all the promises she made and that you thought were fake, were real.

 Ellie died for you. For your safety.

You didn’t care if people called her as an abuser, because you knew the truth. You loved her and she loved you. You knew she died for you. Her death wasn’t in vain, because you were safe and living a life free from abuse.

As you stood in front of Ellie’s dad, hands tied together in front of you, you were waiting for him to do the same thing he did to Ellie.

“Are you sure?”  he asked as he raised the knife above his head.

“Yes” you breathed “this is for Ellie, now cut them off”

Authors note: i hope you enjoyed! Remember to always be kind and that my requests are always open:)

yours truly,

Zia <3

My pookies <3 (the tag list): @ellieslegalwife @yuaaa05 @idkwhatimdoingherelmao

i love emily im sorry soo much,, do you think u could please write an ellie x reader based on the song night shift by lucy dacus?? i think is a good song to make a fic <3

night shift - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment! And yes it's literally is an amazing song for a angst fic! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Night shift by Lucy Dacus, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: sadness and cheating

Summary: In which you were the other women

wc: 1.8k + the lyrics

The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down, it wasn't the same

I'm doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can't help but think of your other in the bed that was mine

The day Ellie Williams asked you out was truly the best day of your life.

It all started with small smiles, gentle touches and loving gazes. You knew from the first day you laid eyes on Ellie, that you wanted to be with her. And never in a million dreams did you think that you stood a chance with someone as beautiful such as Ellie.

You didn't regret asking her for her number. You didn't regret saying yes when she asked you on a date that day. But the more you think about it, the more realized maybe you should’ve said no.

"Hi I'm Ellie’s girlfriend, is she here today?" The girl asked with a smile on her face.

 oh.

Girlfriend?

Ellie was never mentioned anything about a girlfriend to you.

Fuck.

"Oh hey Cat" you heard Ellie’s voice from behind you. You turned around and you and the autumn brown haired girl made eye contact.

Ellie’s eyes widened when she saw you were talking to Cat, but her shock was soon replaced by her signature smirk.

"Hi babe" Cat greeted Ellie cheerfully "can we talk?" She asked. Ellie gave her a quick nod as she walked out from behind the counter. As Ellie and cat walked away she reached down to grab the girls hand and if felt like you've been stabbed.

You quickly excused yourself and you ran down the hall in the storage room where you and Ellie would always meet each other.

Holy shit.

She had a girlfriend? What? You thought she liked you?

You and Ellie were never official, but you went on dates. You held hands. You kissed her for fucks sake. You were the other women. Ellie didn't care for you as much as you thought. She was using you.

You heard the door handle of the storage room rattle. You looked up and you quickly wiped away your tears: "Ellie?" You questioned, with a hopeful voice.

"No it's me!" You heard Dina’s voice yelled back. "Ellie went home with her girlfriend so you'll have to take her shift"

You let out a sigh as you felt the tears flow freely once again.

 You were supposed to be mad at her. You were supposed to hate her. But you called out for her? You would never admit it out loud but you were actually waiting for her. You were waiting for Ellie to come and apologize and to say that this was all a misunderstanding.  You silently sat there crying.

 You were the other women.

Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth?

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

If you truly hated Ellie like you claimed you did, you wouldn't have opened your apartment door that night.

That one faithful evening in September, when you heard a knock on your door.

“Who the fuck could that be?” you muttered to yourself as you got up from bed rubbing your eyes.

You look over to your phone if see it's 1:00am. You yawned as you walked to the front door. You opened it and your eyes were met with the girl who broke your heart all those months ago.

 The girl you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with.

She looked at you, her normally neat hair was a messy, dark circles under her eyes.

god you thought you looked bad.

"What are you doing here Ellie?" You asked.

She could've come to you a long time ago and suddenly she shows up? What does she want? Does she want to get back together? Is she here to beg for forgiveness?

 "Jesse told me that you were serious when you said you wanted to work the night shift" she spoke, as she brought her right hand up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck.

 You didn’t know if you wanted to punch her or kiss her.

 Ellie’s gaze fell down to her feet and the two of you were surrounded by silence.

Since when is it so quite at 1 in the morning?

"Why are you here?" You finally asked again.

Ellie looked up at you once again. She hesitated. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. The words weren't coming out.

‘she's so fucking pathetic’ you thought to yourself.

 "Are you here to apologize? To make yourself feel better?", you spoke again.

Ellie looked taken aback, her facial expression morphed into a face of confusion? Hurt? You couldn't tell.

"I love you-" Ellie started, you let out a laugh even before she could finish.

"If you loved me, why was I the other women?" You questioned.

Ellie fell silent. She stared at you. She was at a loss for words. How could you say such a thing? You knew nothing about her situation. You didn't know that she can Cat had been in a loveless relationship for years. You didn't know how much she loved you. You didn't know how alive you made her feel.

Ellie was brought back to reality when you spoke: "You can't even fucking speak to me".

You let out a sigh as you took a step back to close the door. Ellie’s large hand reached out to try and stop it, but you were too quick. You closed the door in her face. Ellie put her forehead against your front door as tears streamed down her cheeks. She heard your voice from behind the door:

"You are such a fucking bitch Williams"

Ellie turned away from your door, her hand gripping her shirt as she started sobbing.

Loud sounds of crying filled the quite streets of Jackson as Ellie stood at your door realizing that she lost you.

I feel no need to forgive, but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips, so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark, feeling all hell

"I think I should start working the night shift" you told Jesse one morning.

"dude I thought you hated it"

You went quite for a moment. You did hate it. But you couldn't stand working another shift looking at Ellie. Even being in her presence made your heart yearn for her. If feels like you've been starved for years without Ellie’s touch. And you fear that even if your finger just lightly touched her you'd lose your mind.

 You already felt guilty enough when you found out Ellie had a girlfriend, you didn't want to make a fool out of yourself by confessing your undying love to her.

You walked out of Jesse's office and into the locker room. Ellie was in there. You walked right past her, going to your locker you quickly pulled out your bag.

"Wait our shifts are starting right now, where are you going?" She questioned.

"I'm working the night shift from now on" you replied as you made your way to the door. You felt so cold hand grab your wrist and when you turned around and you were met with Ellie’s pleading eyes.

"If you work night shift I won't be able to see you" she spoke softly.

You forcefully removed your arm from Ellie’s grip.

"go see your fucking girlfriend"

You turned away from Ellie, walking to the door and you stopped. It was as if your feet were glued to the floor. You slowly turned around to face Ellie once again.

"I'll never be able to forgive you" you muttered softly and you looked at the girl you had so much love for.

"Please try" Ellie begged.

"I'll leave her" Ellie quickly reasoned with you, to make you stay.

You shook your head as you dropped your bag onto the floor. You made your way towards Ellie as you once again muttered “I can't fucking forgive you" as you wrapped your arms her neck, her lips soon crashed into yours.

The kiss was intense. You've been starved from Ellie, and this was your first taste in months.

Teeth crashing into each other, heavy breathes filled the room, and hands were roaming.

You pulled away and you looked at Ellie for the last time.

Her eyes blown wide, her lips swollen her chest rapidly rising.

 You once again moved from her grip as you picked up your bag.

You stood the door once more. Before you walked out the door you turned to Ellie one last time, giving her a small "I love you" was the last words she ever spoke to you.

Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best

You don't deserve what you don't respect

Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can't lose what you never had

You don't even know why you're upset. Why were you so fucking depressed over a relationship that never even happened?

All you do is fantasize over a relationship that wasn't even real.

What you could've been. And you know you were being delusional when you thought you had a chance with her, and yet you still fell for her.

But we all learn the hard way don't we?

You can't be sad over something that wasn't even yours to being with.

All you had to do was suck it up and get to work. You'd eventually get over Ellie. And you'd be happy again, right?

As much as you try to convince yourself, you aren't so sure you can see a happy life without Ellie.

The girl you thought was your soulmate.

You got a 9-to-5, so I'll take the night shift

And I'll never see you again, if I can help it

In five years, I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers

"Are you sure you want to take the night shift?" Jesse asked you one last time.

"I'm sure" you replied

Even though you hated the night shift it got you away from Ellie. You didn't have to see her at your workplace. You don't have to constantly be reminded about what the two of you could've been.

"Remember Ellie will come in at 9 tomorrow" Jesse yelled as he walked out the front door of the Café. He gave you a small wave, as the bell chimed when the door finally closed.

"yeah I know" you yelled back.

You hoped that one day you'd stop working the night shift.

 And maybe, just maybe you'd be able to move on from Ellie.

But till then you'd rather torture yourself than to be in the same room as Ellie fucking Williams.

Authors note: guess who disappeared and whos suddenly back again? obviously me.... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are always open

yours truly,

Zia<3

- Master List ☆

about me!

- Ellie Williams

- Abby Anderson

- Dina ???

"i would say i love you but saying it out loud is hard."

YOURE BACKKK!!!!! missed you very much <333

DADDYS HOMEEEEE!!! I MISSED ALL OF YOUUUI<333

omg sorry if i explote ur inbox, its just- i have so many ideas and love ur writing

queen it's ok!! You can send as many as you'd like😭✋🏼 I love your requests

hellooo

I’m obsessed w the song Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. do you think you could write a ellie x reader based on that song plsss 🥺

thx so much!!

Drunk, Running - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! I had two ideas for the ending, lmk if you want a different version!! I hope you enjoy:)

this story is based off the song, Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. If you can listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts and ideas!!

warnings: codependent relationship themes, alcohol use, emotional manipulation (subtle, mutual), unresolved trauma, toxic dynamic, mentions of anxiety/panic

summary: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

masterlist

You don’t remember how you got here.

Not the room—you know this place like your own heartbeat. You could walk it blindfolded. It’s the ache in your ribs, the burn in your lungs, the sting of regret creeping up your throat that you can’t place.

Ellie’s doorway leans the same way it always has. Crooked. Waiting.

And she’s there. She’s always there.

Sitting on the edge of her bed with a cigarette between her fingers, head tilted back, red eyes glossy like she’s already lived this night a thousand times. Like she’s been here before, waiting for you to walk in and fall apart in front of her.

“Been drinkin’ again?” she asks.

You nod. She doesn’t move. And neither do you.

You taste vodka and guilt, and something like hope when you whisper, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She shrugs, tapping ash into the same cracked mug she never washes. “I didn’t ask.”

That should’ve hurt. Maybe it does.

But you’re not here for kindness. You’re here because this is the only place where the world stops spinning, even if it’s just for a second.

Even if the stillness breaks you. Even if it’s Ellie breaking you.

“I walked here,” you say, trying to fill the silence that’s pressing hard against your ears. “Didn’t even put on shoes.”

“You’re gonna cut your feet,” she murmurs. She still won’t look at you.

“They’re already bleeding.”

Finally, her eyes meet yours.

And for a second, there’s a flicker of something softer. A glint of that girl who once traced constellations across your shoulder blades in the dark and called you her galaxy.

“You always come back,” she says, like it’s a curse.

You blink. “I always leave.”

“You always come back drunk.”

You laugh, bitter. “Maybe that’s the only time I’m brave enough.”

Ellie’s jaw flexes. You know that expression. She’s doing math in her head, counting how many times you’ve done this. Walked in, broken. Asked her to fix you. Let her hold you. Only to walk out again with your ribs sewn shut and your voice hoarse from the things you never said.

“You ever wonder if we just—" she stops, runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “If we’re only this because we’re scared to be something else?”

Your throat goes dry. She never talks like this. Not when she’s sober. Not when you’re not.

“I think we’re poison,” you whisper.

She scoffs. “Then why do you keep drinking me?”

You step toward her like your bones are moving without permission. Like they remember the way she feels before your mind does. Like they’re in love with her even when you’ve forgotten how.

“’Cause it’s the only thing that makes it stop hurting.”

Ellie doesn’t pull away when you kneel in front of her. When your head falls into her lap. When your hands clutch at her thighs like a lifeline. Her fingers slip into your hair, gentle. Devastating. Like nothing’s wrong.

Like this isn’t killing both of you.

“You smell like cheap vodka and bad choices,” she says, but it’s so soft you almost think she’s trying to love you with the words.

“I miss you,” you breathe.

“You don’t,” she says back. “You miss the version of me who let you run.”

The silence drapes over the room like fog.

“I miss the version of me who didn’t,” you finally whisper.

And that’s when she leans down, foreheads touching, breath against your lips like a promise neither of you know how to keep.

“You were never supposed to love me like this,” she says, and you feel it like a knife.

“You taught me how,” you reply, and she shatters in your hands.

She kisses you like a warning. You kiss her like a prayer.

And it’s all teeth and memory and the kind of desperation that tastes like blood. Her hands grip your waist like she’s trying to hold together something that’s already cracked.

She lays you down. You let her. You always let her.

And when she curls around you after, her voice barely audible, she asks the same question she always does.

“Will you stay this time?”

And you give the same answer you always do.

“I don’t know how.”

You leave in the morning. You always do.

And behind you, Ellie lights another cigarette, watches the sunrise she never asked for, and whispers into the silence: I would’ve waited forever.

Ellie hadn’t realized the silence was healing her until the ache stopped being the first thing she felt when she woke up. It started subtly.

Your name stopped echoing every time her phone buzzed. Her hands stopped trembling at 3AM. She stopped checking the sidewalk in front of her apartment like you’d be barefoot again, drunk, bleeding, mumbling something about needing to be held.

She stopped waiting for you to come undone in her doorway. And in the quiet you left behind, she started building a life that didn’t require loving you in pieces.

She read more. Fixed the broken step on her porch. Learned how to cook something other than grilled cheese. Stopped sleeping in the middle of the bed. Not because she expected you back, but because it felt better.

Peaceful, even.

She thought of you sometimes. Of course she did.

The way you smiled when you were too tired to fake it. The way your hands always shook when you said you didn’t care. The way you used her like a lighthouse, then cursed the fire when you got too close.

You never meant to be cruel. But that didn’t make it less cruel.

Still, Ellie never stopped loving you. She just stopped setting herself on fire to keep you warm.

And so, when your knock finally came—not a drunken stumble, not a crash, just one soft tap-tap-tap—Ellie was already standing.

Barefoot. Coffee in hand. Awake before dawn because she’d stopped dreading it.

When she opened the door and saw you—sober, eyes clear, jacket zipped—it was like meeting someone entirely new. Or maybe someone you were before the chaos.

“Hey,” you said.

Her throat was dry. “Hey.”

You smiled, almost sheepish. “I didn’t come to fall apart this time.”

That made her chest seize up in ways she wasn’t ready for.

You stood there, hands buried in your coat pockets, shifting like you didn’t know if you had the right to be here anymore. Like you didn’t expect her to open the door.

“I just…” you licked your lips. “I’ve been trying. I’ve been going to therapy. I’ve stopped drinking. It’s been four months. I journal. I even got a cat.”

Ellie blinked. “You hate cats.”

“She hates me too. It’s a good match.”

That pulled a soft laugh out of her, unfiltered. You looked so… real. Not desperate. Not frantic. Not aching.

“I’ve missed you,” you said. “But not like before. Not like… like you’re the only thing keeping me alive. I just… miss you. Not the pain. Not the mess.”

She leaned against the doorframe, letting herself exhale.

“Why now?” she asked. “Why today?”

You bit your lip. “Because for the first time, I wasn’t scared to be alone. And I think… maybe that means I’m ready to be with someone. Not to survive. Just to be.”

She wanted to say something poetic. Something that sounded like closure or beginning or both.

But all she could manage was: “Do you want to come in?”

You smiled like it meant everything.

“Only if you want me to.”

Ellie stepped aside. And this time, you walked in with your shoes on, your voice steady, your hands not shaking.

You didn’t fall into her arms like you were drowning. You stood beside her. Still. Sober.

And when she reached for your hand, it wasn’t trembling.

This is how the cycle ends. Not with fireworks. Not with a breakdown. But with quiet recognition. With two people choosing each other—not out of fear, but out of love that finally feels safe.

It’s almost embarrassing how mundane it is.

The morning light spills through the apartment like it’s always belonged there—soft, forgiving. Your cat (the one who still barely tolerates you) is curled on the windowsill, tail flicking rhythmically. Ellie’s in the kitchen, humming under her breath while flipping pancakes she knows you like just a little burnt on the edges.

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, wrapped in one of her old flannels, thumbing through a book she lent you. You’ve underlined every other sentence.

She says nothing about it.

Just brings you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it now. Two sugars. No cream. You’d stopped adding cream when you realized you used to drown the bitterness out of habit, not taste.

“How’s the book?” she asks.

You look up at her—hair messy, tattoo sleeve half-covered by a hoodie, eyes kind in the way that used to terrify you. You used to run from kindness like it was a threat.

Now you let it hold you.

“It’s good,” you murmur. “I think I’m finally understanding it.”

She leans against the counter and raises a brow. “The themes or the words?”

“Both.”

She grins. “Progress.”

You smile back. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Ellie walks over, slow and sure. Crouches beside your chair, presses her forehead to your knee like it’s instinct. Her fingers curl around yours. Grounding.

“You gave up on yourself first,” she says quietly. “I was just waiting for you to remember who you are.”

You blink back the sting behind your eyes. Not sadness. Just... release.

“I was so scared,” you whisper.

“I know.”

“I thought loving you meant losing myself.”

She nods, solemn. “And I thought loving you meant saving you.”

You both sit with that. Not in shame—just recognition.

“I’m not a project anymore,” you say.

“No,” she agrees, looking up at you. “You’re my partner.”

You press your lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes. Breakfast burns slightly on the stove, but neither of you move.

Later, you water the plants while Ellie grades papers. Your cat hisses when you try to pet her and Ellie snorts behind her laptop. You walk past her and kiss her temple. She tugs you onto her lap and lets you fall asleep like that—safe, full, warm. When you wake up, the sun is fading, and Ellie’s fingers are tracing the line of your spine through the fabric of her flannel.

“You think we’ll always be this boring?” you tease.

She smiles against your shoulder.

“I hope so.”