Drunk, Running - Ellie Williams X Reader

hellooo

I’m obsessed w the song Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. do you think you could write a ellie x reader based on that song plsss 🥺

thx so much!!

Drunk, Running - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! I had two ideas for the ending, lmk if you want a different version!! I hope you enjoy:)

Hellooo

this story is based off the song, Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. If you can listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts and ideas!!

warnings: codependent relationship themes, alcohol use, emotional manipulation (subtle, mutual), unresolved trauma, toxic dynamic, mentions of anxiety/panic

summary: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

masterlist

You don’t remember how you got here.

Not the room—you know this place like your own heartbeat. You could walk it blindfolded. It’s the ache in your ribs, the burn in your lungs, the sting of regret creeping up your throat that you can’t place.

Ellie’s doorway leans the same way it always has. Crooked. Waiting.

And she’s there. She’s always there.

Sitting on the edge of her bed with a cigarette between her fingers, head tilted back, red eyes glossy like she’s already lived this night a thousand times. Like she’s been here before, waiting for you to walk in and fall apart in front of her.

“Been drinkin’ again?” she asks.

You nod. She doesn’t move. And neither do you.

You taste vodka and guilt, and something like hope when you whisper, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She shrugs, tapping ash into the same cracked mug she never washes. “I didn’t ask.”

That should’ve hurt. Maybe it does.

But you’re not here for kindness. You’re here because this is the only place where the world stops spinning, even if it’s just for a second.

Even if the stillness breaks you. Even if it’s Ellie breaking you.

“I walked here,” you say, trying to fill the silence that’s pressing hard against your ears. “Didn’t even put on shoes.”

“You’re gonna cut your feet,” she murmurs. She still won’t look at you.

“They’re already bleeding.”

Finally, her eyes meet yours.

And for a second, there’s a flicker of something softer. A glint of that girl who once traced constellations across your shoulder blades in the dark and called you her galaxy.

“You always come back,” she says, like it’s a curse.

You blink. “I always leave.”

“You always come back drunk.”

You laugh, bitter. “Maybe that’s the only time I’m brave enough.”

Ellie’s jaw flexes. You know that expression. She’s doing math in her head, counting how many times you’ve done this. Walked in, broken. Asked her to fix you. Let her hold you. Only to walk out again with your ribs sewn shut and your voice hoarse from the things you never said.

“You ever wonder if we just—" she stops, runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “If we’re only this because we’re scared to be something else?”

Your throat goes dry. She never talks like this. Not when she’s sober. Not when you’re not.

“I think we’re poison,” you whisper.

She scoffs. “Then why do you keep drinking me?”

You step toward her like your bones are moving without permission. Like they remember the way she feels before your mind does. Like they’re in love with her even when you’ve forgotten how.

“’Cause it’s the only thing that makes it stop hurting.”

Ellie doesn’t pull away when you kneel in front of her. When your head falls into her lap. When your hands clutch at her thighs like a lifeline. Her fingers slip into your hair, gentle. Devastating. Like nothing’s wrong.

Like this isn’t killing both of you.

“You smell like cheap vodka and bad choices,” she says, but it’s so soft you almost think she’s trying to love you with the words.

“I miss you,” you breathe.

“You don’t,” she says back. “You miss the version of me who let you run.”

The silence drapes over the room like fog.

“I miss the version of me who didn’t,” you finally whisper.

And that’s when she leans down, foreheads touching, breath against your lips like a promise neither of you know how to keep.

“You were never supposed to love me like this,” she says, and you feel it like a knife.

“You taught me how,” you reply, and she shatters in your hands.

She kisses you like a warning. You kiss her like a prayer.

And it’s all teeth and memory and the kind of desperation that tastes like blood. Her hands grip your waist like she’s trying to hold together something that’s already cracked.

She lays you down. You let her. You always let her.

And when she curls around you after, her voice barely audible, she asks the same question she always does.

“Will you stay this time?”

And you give the same answer you always do.

“I don’t know how.”

You leave in the morning. You always do.

And behind you, Ellie lights another cigarette, watches the sunrise she never asked for, and whispers into the silence: I would’ve waited forever.

Ellie hadn’t realized the silence was healing her until the ache stopped being the first thing she felt when she woke up. It started subtly.

Your name stopped echoing every time her phone buzzed. Her hands stopped trembling at 3AM. She stopped checking the sidewalk in front of her apartment like you’d be barefoot again, drunk, bleeding, mumbling something about needing to be held.

She stopped waiting for you to come undone in her doorway. And in the quiet you left behind, she started building a life that didn’t require loving you in pieces.

She read more. Fixed the broken step on her porch. Learned how to cook something other than grilled cheese. Stopped sleeping in the middle of the bed. Not because she expected you back, but because it felt better.

Peaceful, even.

She thought of you sometimes. Of course she did.

The way you smiled when you were too tired to fake it. The way your hands always shook when you said you didn’t care. The way you used her like a lighthouse, then cursed the fire when you got too close.

You never meant to be cruel. But that didn’t make it less cruel.

Still, Ellie never stopped loving you. She just stopped setting herself on fire to keep you warm.

And so, when your knock finally came—not a drunken stumble, not a crash, just one soft tap-tap-tap—Ellie was already standing.

Barefoot. Coffee in hand. Awake before dawn because she’d stopped dreading it.

When she opened the door and saw you—sober, eyes clear, jacket zipped—it was like meeting someone entirely new. Or maybe someone you were before the chaos.

“Hey,” you said.

Her throat was dry. “Hey.”

You smiled, almost sheepish. “I didn’t come to fall apart this time.”

That made her chest seize up in ways she wasn’t ready for.

You stood there, hands buried in your coat pockets, shifting like you didn’t know if you had the right to be here anymore. Like you didn’t expect her to open the door.

“I just…” you licked your lips. “I’ve been trying. I’ve been going to therapy. I’ve stopped drinking. It’s been four months. I journal. I even got a cat.”

Ellie blinked. “You hate cats.”

“She hates me too. It’s a good match.”

That pulled a soft laugh out of her, unfiltered. You looked so… real. Not desperate. Not frantic. Not aching.

“I’ve missed you,” you said. “But not like before. Not like… like you’re the only thing keeping me alive. I just… miss you. Not the pain. Not the mess.”

She leaned against the doorframe, letting herself exhale.

“Why now?” she asked. “Why today?”

You bit your lip. “Because for the first time, I wasn’t scared to be alone. And I think… maybe that means I’m ready to be with someone. Not to survive. Just to be.”

She wanted to say something poetic. Something that sounded like closure or beginning or both.

But all she could manage was: “Do you want to come in?”

You smiled like it meant everything.

“Only if you want me to.”

Ellie stepped aside. And this time, you walked in with your shoes on, your voice steady, your hands not shaking.

You didn’t fall into her arms like you were drowning. You stood beside her. Still. Sober.

And when she reached for your hand, it wasn’t trembling.

This is how the cycle ends. Not with fireworks. Not with a breakdown. But with quiet recognition. With two people choosing each other—not out of fear, but out of love that finally feels safe.

It’s almost embarrassing how mundane it is.

The morning light spills through the apartment like it’s always belonged there—soft, forgiving. Your cat (the one who still barely tolerates you) is curled on the windowsill, tail flicking rhythmically. Ellie’s in the kitchen, humming under her breath while flipping pancakes she knows you like just a little burnt on the edges.

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, wrapped in one of her old flannels, thumbing through a book she lent you. You’ve underlined every other sentence.

She says nothing about it.

Just brings you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it now. Two sugars. No cream. You’d stopped adding cream when you realized you used to drown the bitterness out of habit, not taste.

“How’s the book?” she asks.

You look up at her—hair messy, tattoo sleeve half-covered by a hoodie, eyes kind in the way that used to terrify you. You used to run from kindness like it was a threat.

Now you let it hold you.

“It’s good,” you murmur. “I think I’m finally understanding it.”

She leans against the counter and raises a brow. “The themes or the words?”

“Both.”

She grins. “Progress.”

You smile back. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Ellie walks over, slow and sure. Crouches beside your chair, presses her forehead to your knee like it’s instinct. Her fingers curl around yours. Grounding.

“You gave up on yourself first,” she says quietly. “I was just waiting for you to remember who you are.”

You blink back the sting behind your eyes. Not sadness. Just... release.

“I was so scared,” you whisper.

“I know.”

“I thought loving you meant losing myself.”

She nods, solemn. “And I thought loving you meant saving you.”

You both sit with that. Not in shame—just recognition.

“I’m not a project anymore,” you say.

“No,” she agrees, looking up at you. “You’re my partner.”

You press your lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes. Breakfast burns slightly on the stove, but neither of you move.

Later, you water the plants while Ellie grades papers. Your cat hisses when you try to pet her and Ellie snorts behind her laptop. You walk past her and kiss her temple. She tugs you onto her lap and lets you fall asleep like that—safe, full, warm. When you wake up, the sun is fading, and Ellie’s fingers are tracing the line of your spine through the fabric of her flannel.

“You think we’ll always be this boring?” you tease.

She smiles against your shoulder.

“I hope so.”

More Posts from Elliespassagerprincess and Others

that professor ellie was perfect. please do a nsfw one LOL i feel like she’d be so sweet but also lowkey not BUT ONLY SOMETIMES bc she’s usually gentle but other times she’s like I HAVE TO HAVE YOU HEHEHE but never too crazy but also is she??? im spiralling

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

That Professor Ellie Was Perfect. Please Do A Nsfw One LOL I Feel Like She’d Be So Sweet But Also Lowkey

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

warning: NSFW content! MDNI 18+

☆ By day, she’s the composed, sarcastic, brilliant literature professor — but behind closed doors, Ellie becomes the kind of woman who whispers filth in your ear while holding your face like you’re precious.

☆ Her desk is definitely not just for grading. She’s taken you over it more than once, locking the door and muttering, “Need to teach you a real lesson.”

☆ Ellie buys you expensive lingerie “for her eyes only” — and makes you wear it under your clothes to class just to tease her. She'll smirk knowingly while lecturing, completely composed while you're squirming.

☆ That calm, slow professor tone? It drops an octave when she’s turned on, and it drives you wild. Especially when she reads poetry to you while touching you.

☆ She worships your body. Whispers “my good girl” while brushing your hair out of your face. Calls you brilliant, beautiful, irresistible — even when you’re falling apart beneath her.

☆ Subtle in public — a hand on your lower back, a kiss to your temple — but in private? She's feral. Leaves marks like she’s afraid someone else might look at you wrong.

☆ Ellie makes everything sound intellectual… even sex. “Let me illustrate this theory,” or “Let’s conduct an experiment,” as she pins your wrists down.

☆ Some nights it’s slow, candlelit, and gentle. Other nights she’s gripping your hips, leaving you breathless and blissed out because she needed you that bad.

☆ When she keeps the glasses on during sex, you know she means business. She looks down at you like you’re a book she’s studied a thousand times but still finds something new every time.

☆ Yes, she will continue a sentence or a theory while slowly sliding her fingers into you — “Pay attention. This part’s on the test.”

☆ Weekend mornings always start with lazy kisses, sleepy fingers, and Ellie growling, “Don’t get up. Not until I’m done with you.”

☆ Ellie lives to see how far she can push you. Fingers, mouth, toys — she’ll draw it out until you’re crying her name like it’s scripture.

☆ Once in a while she gets so turned on she loses it — hair messy, biting your shoulder, saying “I need you. Right now. Don’t care where.”

☆ Immediately after, Ellie’s soft as ever — running you a bath, wrapping you in one of her flannels, feeding you strawberries like you’re royalty.

☆ That locked drawer in her office? Yeah, it’s not just for documents. It holds your favorite toy, a silk blindfold, and one of your panties she “borrowed.”

☆ Reading You Erotica: She’ll find the filthiest passage from some obscure book and read it to you while you sit in her lap, grinding slowly, whimpering.

☆ If someone else flirts with you, Ellie pulls you close, kisses you hard, and whispers, “Mine. Let me remind you.”

☆ She doesn’t always need to speak. Sometimes it’s a look — those sharp green eyes locking on you — and you know to drop to your knees.

☆ She tells you she dreams about you. That she can’t concentrate in meetings because she’s thinking about how you taste, how you sound.

☆ She calls you her “thesis.” The one thing she’ll never stop studying, never stop learning, never stop needing.

☆ Her hand wraps around your throat, but it’s never rough — it’s possessive. She leans in, kisses your lips softly, and says, “Breathe for me. That’s my girl.”

☆ One time, she made you sit through one of her lectures with a remote-controlled vibe inside you. Smiled at you from the front like nothing was happening — then turned it up when she caught you squirming.

☆ Ellie isn’t flashy with bondage. She prefers silk ties, slow binding, and long stares as she murmurs, “You look better like this. All mine.”

☆ Ellie needs to hear every sound you make. She’ll edge you for hours just to hear the pitch of your moans change, cataloguing them like they’re part of a study.

☆ She tugs your hair not just to dominate, but to angle your head up — to kiss you, to praise you, to look you in the eye and say, “So fucking pretty like this.”

☆ If you're a student, she makes you earn your orgasms during finals. “Get an A, and I’ll ruin you. Fail, and I’ll really ruin you. Either way, baby, you’re not walking right.”

☆ Ellie has a thing for your hands on her — gripping her shoulders, clutching her shirt, leaving nail marks down her back. She thanks you for them like you gave her a gift.

☆ She once let you ride her while still wearing her full robe, glasses slipping down her nose, hand on your waist as she said, “Professor’s privilege.”

☆ If you ever admit to having a dream about her, Ellie insists you describe every detail — while she touches you exactly how you described it.

☆ In bed, she gets scary quiet. One word from her — strip, stay, come — and your body obeys before your brain catches up.


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8 months ago

heyy could you write something based on Dark Red by Steve Lacy?

i love all your works btw

Dark red - (ellie williams x reader)

hi poookie!! thank you sm!! i hope you don't mind me writing this as a gore story, I've been writing a lot of fluff recently and i missed my violent stories, but if you want me to write a different version just let me know!!! i hope you enjoy <33

Heyy Could You Write Something Based On Dark Red By Steve Lacy?

This story is based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy, if you can please listen to the song while you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

HUGE warning: murder, kidnapping, being held hostage, dead bodies, violence

Summary: in which she wanted you to herself

masterlist

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know what, but I feel it coming

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

I just hope she don't wanna leave me"

Something bad was going to happen. Ellie could feel it in her bones. She doesn't know why she feels this way, but ever since she woke up this morning, she's been filled with dread. A heaviness in her gut she can't shake off.

Ellie sat at her desk, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring. She hasn't been home for the last 3 days because of school spirit week.

Ellie was so pissed off when she heard they were having a camping day, a sleepover and a all nighter back to back. Everyone was complaining that they were exhausted due to all the activities happening at school, but Ellie wasn't thinking about sleep.

She was thinking about you.

She was always thinking about you.

Ellie could see everyone was staring at the clock, they were practically counting down the seconds before the bell rang. They wanted to go home.

Ellie wanted to go home too, she needed to get home to you.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Before the bell rang the intercom went off. The students groaned thinking that they had to stay at school for another day.

"Can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office. Ellie Williams. I repeat, can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office"

fuck.

The bell rang soon after and everyone ran to the door, Ellie watched as they ran like animals.

"Fucking idiots" she thought to herself

She waited till most of the kids were gone, before she got up grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the office.

She knocked on the door, and she heard a small "come in".

She let out a sigh as she reluctantly pushed open the door and she was greeted by a the principal and a detective.

What the fuck?

"Close the door and sit down" the principal instructed.

As she sat down her heartrate increased. Her ears were ringing, her palms were sweaty.

The detective cleared his throat before he spoke "as you know y/n has been missing for 3 months now"

She nods

"after further investigation, it seems you were the last one seen with her"

"Was i really or are you looking for someone to blame?" Ellie asked with a raised brow.

She knew where you were, but she couldn't tell him that.

"Ms Williams you're under suspension of kidnapping"

Ellies fists clench by her sides "why am i? Just because i was last seen with her?"

"You guys were best friends, many people said you were close, some say you where obsessed"

Oh she was mad. Ellie was really mad. She wasn't obsessed, she just cared about you.

"i wasn't" she said through gritted teeth.

"We think you know where she is"

Ellie got up, her fist hitting the table "so you're accusing an underage child of kidnapping? do i look like I'm capable of doing that?"

"Ms Williams-"

"no"

Ellie turned to the door and she stormed out. She walked out of the building rushing home to see you.

She hoped you didn't leave her.

"Don't you give me up, please don't give up

On me, I belong with you and only you, baby

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you"

They weren't wrong about what ellie had done to you.

But she had to do it! How else was she supposed to keep you to herself?

Ellie always has feelings for you. Ever since you shyly asked her for a pencil in year 8, she's been all over you. As the years went by her fondness towards you grew, you made her blush, you made her giggle, you made her so fucking happy.

Overtime the two of you built a good friendship but Ellie always wanted more.

It was a Thursday, the sun was shining and the two of had a science project to finish.

The homecoming dance was getting closer and she wanted to ask you. Ellie thought this was the perfect moment to ask you.

"So....with who are you going to homecoming?" Ellie asked clearing her throat

"oh Dina asked me"

"what did you say?"

"I said yes, i think Dina is cute"

No no no no no no no

Not her. You belong to her. You were hers. Not Dina. You were supposed to go with her.

No no no no no

"Ellie?" You asked with concern seeing her zoned out expression.

Ellie looked at you briefly before her hands wrapped around your neck. You let out a silent scream trying to scratch her. You tried fighting but you couldn't. Ellie was stronger than you, she was bigger too.

Eventually you went limp in her hands.

Heavy breaths left Ellie's mouth.

You were still breathing. Good.

She dragged you to her house, hiding behind bushes once in a while to make sure no one saw her. She dragged you into her house, and into her basement.

Ellie placed your body onto the cold floor and she watched you breathing faintly.

Now you cant go with Dina.

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way, I don't know maybe

I think of her so much, it drives me crazy

What if she's fine?

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long"

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just having bad thoughts. Ellie has always had a tendency to overthink things.

She knew it was bad to overthink but she was always prepared for the worst.

When Ellie first kidnapped you, 3 months ago everything was fine.

You never screamed, you never fought back, you always tried negotiating or escaping which was good because she didn't need to tie you up or gag you.

You made things easy for her. Ellie fed you, she kept you company, she tried to be Dina.

She really tried to keep you happy.

You didn't need Dina, you needed her.

But for the last month you've been very sick. You barley spoke, you barley ate, you barley moved.

There was something wrong with you, she just didn't know what it was.

Since she hasn't been home for 3 days, Ellie didn't know if you would still be alive. There was no one to feed you. No one to talk to you. You were all alone.

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just overthinking it.

Her house key rattled as she pushed open the door. She quickly made her way to the basement, unlocking the door. She walked down the stairs quietly calling your name.

You didn't say anything. She didn't see any movement. she slowly made her way to the bed she had made for you and there you were.

Your skin was pale, cold and it was turning blue. You weren't breathing.

Ellie let out a sigh as she gently grabbed your body, hugging you, not caring of the smell.

Atleast Dina cant get to you.

You were hers. You were safe. You were ok. You now only belong to her.

<3


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Therefore you and me - part 3/3 (ellie williams x reader)

This series was inspired by the song "Therefore You and Me [故にユーエンミー]

this is the final part! I will not be writing anymore parts to this story, thank you for reading and being patient with me:)

Therefore You And Me - Part 3/3 (ellie Williams X Reader)
Therefore You And Me - Part 3/3 (ellie Williams X Reader)
Therefore You And Me - Part 3/3 (ellie Williams X Reader)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, toxic relationships and body mutilation

Summary: In which, Ellie realized that she needed to work on herself.

wc: 700+

part 1 part 2

Therefore You And Me - Part 3/3 (ellie Williams X Reader)

“You want me to do what?” Ellie’s dad practically screamed. She slightly flinched at the tone of her father’s voice before talking: “it’s the least you could do after fucking abusing me”

“I wasn’t abusing you”

“then what were you doing? showing me love?”

He stayed silent as he stared at Ellie. Surprised she even had the guts to talk back to him. If she was younger, he would’ve grabbed her and thrown her across the room.

“Cat got your tongue?” Ellie asked. “Either you help me” she started, and she made her way over to where he sat. Ellie grabbed the collar of his shirt brining him closer to her face “or I’m going to fucking kill you” she spoke through gritted teeth

And for the first time in his entire life he was terrified of his daughter.

“Ellie” you said softly seeing she was back from wherever she went. You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling the bed was cold. You searched for her, called out to her but she didn’t show up, you went to bed with a heavy heart wondering where she had gone.

Did you make her mad? Maybe you said something? Maybe she’s finally sick of you.

But here she was lying next to you with her back towards you.

“Ellie” you said her name again.

You reached out gently grabbing her arm, her skin was cold to the touch. Colder than it normally was. You sat up immediately grabbing her and turning her over in fear that something happened. As soon as you turned Ellie’s body to face you, her torso was full of a dark red substance.

Your eyes fell down to her hands. Or at least where her hands would’ve been.

Her hands were gone.

The only thing left was a small piece of her wrist bone on either side. You stared down at the scene in shock, you reached out slightly, grabbing Ellie’s arm.

 “Ellie” you breathed out again, trying not to cry. Your vision blurred with tears, your ears were ringing, it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

 “Hi “you heard her voice weakly say. 

“oh Ellie” you breathed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You reached down to bring Ellie to your chest hugging her. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you cried with Ellie in your arms.

You knew this was the end for her. She was already cold to the touch and the amount of blood she’s lost, was a sign that her time on this earth was coming to an end.

 “what the fuck were you thinking Ellie” you cried into her autumn brown hair. She shuffled slightly under you before she spoke up: “now I can’t hurt you”

You pulled away to stare at her, and she weakly brought up her handless arms to proudly show you what she had done.

 “see I can’t hurt you anymore”

“I didn’t mind Ellie”

“But what I was doing was wrong”

“Ellie- “

 “Love isn’t supposed to hurt” she repeated her words from earlier that day.

Another stream of tears ran down your cheeks when you realized she did this for you.

“Ellie who did this?” you asked

“my dad” she responded with a small smile. “I asked him to help me, and look its working I can’t hit you anymore” she said with a small laugh. You brought Ellie back to your chest holding her as your loud sobs filled the room.

 You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting here, holding her. It must’ve been hours because the sun had already risen. Ellie had stopped breathing a while ago her last words being I love you. But you couldn’t seem to let her go. Her blood covered the bed, and your hands. And her words repeated in your head again: “I can’t hurt you anymore”

 She did this for you.

She willingly risked her life for you.

She cut her hands off to keep you safe.

Ellie truly did love you. All the times you doubted that she loved you, all the promises she made and that you thought were fake, were real.

 Ellie died for you. For your safety.

You didn’t care if people called her as an abuser, because you knew the truth. You loved her and she loved you. You knew she died for you. Her death wasn’t in vain, because you were safe and living a life free from abuse.

As you stood in front of Ellie’s dad, hands tied together in front of you, you were waiting for him to do the same thing he did to Ellie.

“Are you sure?”  he asked as he raised the knife above his head.

“Yes” you breathed “this is for Ellie, now cut them off”

Therefore You And Me - Part 3/3 (ellie Williams X Reader)

Authors note: i hope you enjoyed! Remember to always be kind and that my requests are always open:)

yours truly,

Zia <3

My pookies <3 (the tag list): @ellieslegalwife @yuaaa05 @idkwhatimdoingherelmao


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- Zia's World ☆.

 - Zia's World ☆.

-‘๑’- about me: zia ; bisexual ; 19 ; she/her

if you want to be friends just pm me! I love meeting new people:)

-‘๑’ - who I write about: Ellie Williams, Abby Anderson and any other FEMALE character of your choice, I occasionally will write for other fandoms and for Quackity because I love him but tlou has my heart

-‘๑’ I write: headcanons, stories based off songs and things I think of in my silly little brain.

-‘๑’ - my content: I write ALOT of depressing and violent things. If you are not in the right mental state please DO NOT read my work.

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I DO NOT like to be rushed. Writing takes a lot of time and energy. I might take awhile to answer your request because I do not want to give anyone anything less than what they deserve so please be patient with me. I do have a life outside of this app, so once again I do ask that you are patient.

-‘๑’- my work: All my work and plot twists are all my original ideas. I do take inspiration from music and I give credit where it's due. DO NOT copy my work or repost it as your own. If you take inspiration give credit. If I do find out you stole my work without credit, I will take action.

-‘๑’- taglist: if you want to be added to my taglist send me a pm, and I can either tag you on my permanent taglist or a temporary one.

-‘๑’ masterlist

 - Zia's World ☆.

Tags

If you’re still doing song requests I’d love if you can do bad dog by Rosie ugly it’s so loser Ellie core

Bad dog - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! firstly yes this song is so loser ellie and secondly i've never heard about Rosie before and their music slaps... i hope you enjoy:)

If You’re Still Doing Song Requests I’d Love If You Can Do Bad Dog By Rosie Ugly It’s So Loser

This story is based off the song Bad dog by Rosie! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: angst.

Summary: in which you treated her like a bad dog

authors note: so i left again and im so sorry, anyways my person life has been kak (that's a word in afrikaans lmao, it describes my emotion the best) but I've arrived and here to spam.

masterlist

Sometimes I feel like your lover

Savor salt while I'm there

But it feels like I'm drowning in the thick heavy air

And I'm only your souvenir

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

you made her feel like a fucking dog.

A dog that has disappointed it's owner and that gets sent outside to wallow in self pity.

Sometimes you made her feel loved, you made her feel like she's the only girl alive. You made it seem like you would fucking die for her but today you made her feel like a dog.

Ellie doesn't know why she feels so hurt, you did this so often. She should be used to this.

The air surrounding you, Ellie and Dina was tense.

It was suffocating.

Ellie and Dina has been friends for years, but as soon as you came into the picture suddenly all the friends Ellie had drifted towards you.

Everyone loved you.

Who wouldn't? You were perfect. There was something about you that drew people, and Ellie loved that about you.

Ellie became a shell of herself. The once loud and confident Ellie Williams became a fucking loser who follows you like a shadow.

Your laugh filled the air, as Dina told a cringe dad joke, Ellie quietly sat watching the two of you.

Your words from earlier that day made her feel sick.

"Just because we fuck, doesn't mean we're something. We're really not anything but fuck buddies. Stop trying, you're pissing me off"

stop trying.

stop trying.

stop fucking trying.

Your presence made her so excited. Just smelling your perfume had her giggling.

How could she stop trying if you were the very reason for her existence?

She couldn't focus on the what Dina had to say, your laugh was mocking her.

Your harsh words were still replaying in her mind. They were suffocating her.

stop trying.

She meant nothing to you.

She should stop trying to win your love. You literally told her to stop.

Even though you made her feel like a fucking dog, the love she felt for kept her going and Ellie wasn't willing to give up.

Remember that song that you wrote me

It wakes me up in the morning

And it feels like I'm drowning in the memories I've been avoiding

And I cannot stop destroying

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

Jesse told Ellie that you didn't deserve her love. He said that you were missing out on the best relationship of your life.

Jesse was right. Ellie knew she couldn't keep following you around, she knew she should stop hoping you'd fall to your kness and tell her how much you love her.

No, she had to face reality.

He was right.

All Ellie had to do was to go to your apartment and she had to tell you to fuck off. But when she tried she suddenly lost her ability to speak.

As soon as you smiled at her and asked "what's wrong baby?"

She couldn't.

She couldn't break her heart like that.

How can someone say something so hurtful and pretend like it didn't happen? You told her she meant nothing but yet you're calling her baby?

You were a fucked up person.

She wanted to hate you, but she couldn't.

Dogs are loyal to their owners. She wasn't going to leave. She was pathetic. A loser.

A loser who believes a girl who didn't see her as more than a fuck buddy would love her.

Ellie hopes you'll fall for her.

She hopes you listen to love songs and that you'd think of her.

Maybe the memories the two of you have created would consume you. Maybe you'd finally fall for her.

She tries to forget those memories, but she can't. The thought of you kills her.

You showed her love. You fucking cared for her when she was sick.

Surely it all wasn't platonic.

Maybe deep down you love her. Maybe you making her feel like shit was all apart of your plan to suppress your feelings for her.

Everything is a possibility at this point.

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

Ego dying

Loner island

I untied when

We went silent

Showed my colors

Stained the carpet

Not another

Fucking artist

Ellie is a puzzle.

She's incomplete without specific pieces.

Without her guitar, she felt empty. Without Joel she was lonely. Without you she felt like she had no purpose.

No matter how complicated Ellie was, no matter how fucked she was in the head you'd always show her love. Her dark thoughts went quiet, and her once dull life was filled with color because of you.

Ellie started drawing again after she quit years ago because you convinced her to try again.

You were the reason for her very being at this point. That's why she held on for so long. That's why she couldn't let go even though you made her feel like shit.

Ellie thought that she was going to stay in this toxic cycle for the rest of her life, and yes she would've if that meant a life with you.

But one day she woke up and everything around her was dull. There was no more color. No more excitement. When she was around you she felt tired. Drained.

You showed her the world but you destroyed it too.

She hated everything.

As much as she loved you she's had enough.

She has to take Jesse's advice and do what's best for her.

Here Ellie sat in front of the love of her life, telling you that this wasn't going to work.

"Ellie please" she heard your voice plead.

"I love you" Ellie muttered

"prove it" you said, frustration building up in you.

"Stay"

"I can't"

You were almost in tears. You were losing someone who helped you. You didn't love Ellie but she was of convince, she was there when you needed a quick fuck.

If she was just a quick fuck, then why does this hurt so much?

"Ellie if you love me you would stay"

"I love you i truly do, but i love myself too much to let you treat me like a bad dog"

<3

my pookie (the taglist): @hellorai


Tags

maybe just normal ellie universe or prof ellie just being obessed with readers wedding ring?? and whenever she holds her hand she’s plays with the ring and just happy that they are together forever??

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

Maybe Just Normal Ellie Universe Or Prof Ellie Just Being Obessed With Readers Wedding Ring?? And Whenever

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie doesn’t just glance at your wedding ring—she studies it. Every etch, every glint in the light. It’s a symbol she reveres, like a sacred artifact.

☆ When you’re sitting beside her at a faculty mixer, Ellie laces your fingers with hers under the table, thumb rubbing over the ring absentmindedly. Her lectures may dominate the room, but her mind is tangled up in you.

☆ In the quiet morning hours, when the coffee brews and you’re still in pajamas, she takes your hand across the kitchen table and kisses the ring. She always whispers, “still mine,” like she can’t believe it.

☆ During lectures, Ellie will catch herself staring at her own ring, then smile softly knowing yours matches. Her students just assume she’s daydreaming—if only they knew.

☆ She spins the ring slowly on your finger when you're lying on her chest at night, saying things like, “you have no idea how much I needed you.”

☆ She touches it when she's nervous—during parent-teacher meetings, high-stress grading seasons, or conferences. Like a talisman, it grounds her.

☆ Ellie once dropped her notes mid-lecture because she spotted your hand waving from the back of the hall, wedding ring catching the light. She grinned like a lovesick fool.

☆ She’s memorized the way the ring leaves a faint indent in your skin after a long day. That little mark is her favorite imprint in the world.

☆ If you fall asleep on the couch, Ellie will bring a blanket and sit beside you, quietly taking your hand and just playing with the ring while watching you breathe.

☆ Ellie doesn’t let anyone else touch your left hand—not out of jealousy, but reverence. That hand, to her, is the proof of everything she’s ever fought for.

☆ Ellie always insists on walking on your left side, so she can keep her hand over yours and rub your ring with her thumb.

☆ At university galas or fundraisers, she doesn’t flaunt your relationship—she just softly touches your ring every few minutes. A secret shared between just the two of you.

☆ She once got visibly irritated when a colleague complimented your outfit but didn’t acknowledge the ring. “Pretty sure that ring’s the best thing she’s wearing,” she muttered.

☆ If anyone flirts with you, even innocently, Ellie’s hand slides into yours with practiced ease, thumb circling the ring until the message is clear.

☆ Whenever she introduces you, she says, “This is my wife,” with pride. But her hand always lands gently on the ring as she says it.

☆ When you’re out and about, and she sees your ring catch the sun, Ellie will lean in and whisper, “That sparkle’s nothing compared to you.”

☆ She absolutely loses her mind when you leave the ring at home for cleaning or repairs—she’ll check your hand like something’s missing.

☆ Ellie’s phone background is a zoomed-in photo of your hand in hers—your ring front and center. You didn’t even know until she showed a student once by accident.

☆ At the bookstore, she pretends to look at novels, but she’s watching you pick up a coffee, your ring catching in the light, and she falls in love all over again.

☆ She’ll joke about how she “won the jackpot” every time she sees the ring glint. But there’s truth beneath the teasing.

☆ When you’re reading together on the couch, she’ll take your hand and kiss each knuckle—lingering on the one with the ring.

☆ She buys you hand lotion just because it makes your skin extra soft and makes the ring shine brighter. Ellie swears it’s purely aesthetic… she’s lying.

☆ She once had a miniature sketch of your hand with the ring tattooed on her ribs. You found out by accident. She just said, “Had to carry it forever too.”

☆ After arguments, she doesn’t apologize with flowers. She comes quietly, kisses your ring, and says, “This still means something, right?”

☆ When you’re brushing your teeth, she stands behind you, arms around your waist, and gently strokes your ring hand. Always soft, always present.

☆ Ellie once had a full panic because you misplaced the ring. She turned the apartment upside down, near tears, until you found it in the laundry basket.

☆ She keeps your wedding ring’s box on her nightstand. Not for any real reason—just because it’s a piece of the day she can’t let go of.

☆ When you two slow dance in the living room, she holds your left hand in hers like it’s made of glass. The ring glimmers in the dim light and she calls it her favorite star.

☆ If she wakes up in the middle of the night and you’re not wearing it, she’ll gently put it back on you like a ritual.

☆ Every anniversary, she stares at the ring and says some variation of, “Can you believe you said yes?”

☆ She’s read three books on the history of wedding rings just because yours fascinates her so much. She sends you random facts. “Did you know ancient Egyptians—”

☆ She has a journal where she’s written multiple entries about the first time she slipped the ring on your finger. She's never shown you.

☆ She once used your ring as an example in her class when talking about cultural symbolism. No one else knew it was yours.

☆ She draws you in her sketchbook constantly—but your left hand with the ring is always the focal point.

☆ Ellie uses it as a grounding tool. When she’s anxious, she’ll find your hand, spin the ring slowly, and whisper things like, “I’m okay. You’re here.”

☆ She gets jealous of her own past self—sometimes looking at the ring and thinking, why didn’t I meet her sooner?

☆ She planned her entire proposal around the kind of ring she thought you deserved—classic, durable, with a tiny inscription only she knows about.

☆ She made you swear to never take it off unless you absolutely have to. She calls it “proof of the best thing I ever did.”

☆ Ellie can tell when someone notices your ring and doesn’t say anything. She’ll bring it up herself. “Yeah, she’s married. To me.”

☆ She dreams about the wedding day often—and wakes up clutching your hand like she’s afraid it’ll vanish.

☆ Ellie sees it as a physical manifestation of everything she thought she’d never have—love, safety, family.

☆ She once told you, “This ring means I get to wake up next to you forever. That’s more than I ever thought I’d deserve.”

☆ She kisses your hand before every trip, every conference, every long class. “This means you’ll be waiting when I get back.”

☆ She freaked out when it got scratched once, immediately going online to figure out how to fix it herself.

☆ To her, your ring is a beacon. If you’re ever across the room, that’s how she finds you.

☆ When she thinks about growing old, the only constant image in her mind is your wrinkled hand, still wearing the ring.

☆ Ellie once cried—genuinely cried—after seeing you absentmindedly touch the ring while smiling at her. It was too intimate, too overwhelming.

☆ She once traced it while you were asleep and whispered, “You’re mine. You chose me.” Over and over.

☆ She calls it her favorite piece of jewelry, even though she doesn’t wear much herself.

☆ She gets overly protective when strangers comment on it. “Yeah, she’s married. Yeah, to me. What of it?”

☆ You fidget with it when you’re shy. Ellie notices every time, and it makes her heart squeeze.

☆ She’s caught herself doodling the ring design in the margins of her lecture notes.

☆ Sometimes she talks to it when you're not around. “You’re all I’ve got when she’s gone. Keep her safe.”

☆ She took a picture of it while you were napping with your hand on her chest. It’s her phone lock screen now.

☆ You once joked about upgrading the ring, and Ellie immediately panicked. “No. That one’s… that one’s ours.”

☆ Ellie insists on holding your ring hand when you go to sleep. She says it helps her breathe better.

☆ Every time she writes “Mrs. Williams” on an envelope, she glances at the ring after sealing it.

☆ She wants your daughter to inherit it someday—but part of her can’t imagine ever letting it go.

☆ Sometimes, in bed, she whispers, “That ring made me whole.”

☆ And no matter what happens—bad day, fight, distance—Ellie never lets go of that hand. Because the ring reminds her: she’s yours, and you’re hers. Forever.


Tags

Ellie Williams Masterlist

Ellie Williams Masterlist

main masterlist

about me!

Stories˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

- drunk running: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

- look at us now: Caught between a turbulent past with Ellie and a slowly blossoming future with Abby, you're forced to confront everything you thought you knew about love, loyalty, and healing.

- under her desk: You're her secretary—organized, polite, and always on time. She's the boss—cold, brilliant, and merciless. But every glance from Ellie lingers too long. Every touch burns. And every closed-door meeting gets harder to forget.

- to be near you: Ellie was quiet at first, just watching from the background — protective, helpful, always there. But her interest wasn’t harmless. What began as care turned into control, and slowly, you realized she was never going to let you go. Even when you stopped fighting, her obsession only grew stronger.

- the things we do in the dark: A late-night confession turns into something neither of you can take back. In the quiet moments between guilt and longing, you and Ellie finds yourself crossing a line — again and again — in the shadows of a relationship that was never meant to be theirs.

- don't take her from me: Ellie’s always had control—until someone threatens to take the one person she can’t live without

- she: When Ellie starts watching her a little too closely, it’s hard to tell where curiosity ends and obsession begins. What begins as quiet glances and subtle tension quickly turns into something darker—something neither of them fully understands, but both feel deeply.

- when the quiet breaks: Ellie Williams is living a peaceful life on the farmhouse with you—the woman who convinced her not to chase revenge. For a while, things feel almost perfect. But the past never stays buried.

- save your tears: Ellie Williams never wanted commitment. When you first tangled in each other’s sheets, it was her rules: casual, no strings, no complications. You agreed—half-heartedly. But feelings grew in the silence between skin and shadows.

- girlfriend: In a broken world, Ellie Williams becomes the one constant — protective, intense, and impossible to ignore. Their bond is complicated, but it’s all they have.

- drunk texting: After a night of drinking, a risky text is sent to Ellie — one that unravels buried feelings and turns their dynamic upside down.

- high enough: in which you wanted her

- your best friend: in which you wished she wasn't dating your best friend

- knee deep: in which ellie wanted you back

- sports car: in which she took you for a ride

- beneath the mask: in which she saved you

- one step forward, three steps back: In which your relationship always put you 3 steps back

- crimson days: in which she needed comfort

- quiet room: in which you needed comfort

- the cut that always bleeds: in which she left you bleeding

- Split ends: in which you needed help

- drunk words, sober eyes: in which you confessed

- planets: in which you went on a date

- latch: in which you were trapped

- frostbite: in which you shared a special moment with her

- losing sleep: in which you hated her

- dark red: in which she wanted you to herself

- wash day: in which she helps you with your hair

- rose: in which she cant forget you

- comfort: in which she helped you

- bubblegum: in which you fell in love

- I was all over her: in which she wanted to be all over you

- do you still dream of me?: In which you still dream about her

- laundry: In which you didn't fold the laundry

- bad dog: in which you treated her like a bad dog

- pretty girl: in which she showed her girl how pretty she really is

- mary (angst edition): in which you left her to rot

- things to do: In which they got their happily ever after

- satisfied: in which you were the perfect housewife

- in my feelings (angst edition): In which you fell for a loser

- dye it red: In which you dyed your hair red

- ultraviolence: In which she became the person, you've always wanted

- karma: In which you were her downfall

- twilight: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

- window: In which Ellie Williams made a big mistake

- in my feelings: In which you showed a loser, a great time

- mary (mental illness edition): In which Ellie wrote you a song.

- brooklyn baby: In which you were dating the world-famous Ellie Williams

- laugh it off: In which Ellie tries to fix your relationship after she was unfaithful

- cool about it: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

- she calls me daddy: You might be engaged but you still always go back to Ellie

- petals on the moon: In which Ellie regrets her decision

- night shift: In which you were the other women

- everybody here wants you: In which you fell in love with someone you couldn't have

- emily i'm sorry: In which Ellie is fucking crazy

- limit to your love: In which you got your heart broken

- I'm not a mountain: In which Ellie makes stupid decisions

- one night only: Ellie wanted needed to see you, but little did she know the one night she wanted to spend with you, would be her final night

- fake it: You and Ellie reminisce on how the two of you got together

- together: Your relationship was toxic, you both knew this... but yet both of you couldn't stay away from each other

- in hell: in which ellie had a taste of what hell felt like

- waste my time: Ellie questions if you really love her or if you were just using her to clean up your mess

- poision: Ellie knows your relationship is toxic, but she can’t help but go back to you.

- nobody; Ellie's biggest fear becomes a reality...

- is there someone else? All Ellie wanted was for you to forgive her

- infatuated: In which Ellie’s “small crush” turned into an obsession

- all the girls you've loved before: Two lost girls, finally found what they've been looking for in each other

- forever: What’s the point of living, if you aren’t by her side?

- moonlight : In which ellie gets high with her lover

series˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

scream for me: In which not killing the pretty girl was the best mistake she ever made

part 1 part 2 part 3

Therefore, you and me: All you needed was Ellie

part 1 part 2 part 3

Her Sweet girl: in which you had enough

part 1 part 2

Loser Ellie

part 1 part 2

Professor Ellie

professor ellie masterlist

Brothers best friend Ellie

part 1 part 2

Simp Ellie

part 1 part 2

drabbles, hcs and short stories˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

ellie taking care of sick reader (hcs)

toxic ellie (hcs)

douchebag ellie (hcs)

ellie warming you up (ss)

ellie saying you're a piece of art (ss)


Tags

The air is getting crisp fall is coming so a bôa song is definitely needed can you do twilight by them

Twilight - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! Your wish is my command! Ugh I wish it was fall where I live, it's literally so fucking hot lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

The Air Is Getting Crisp Fall Is Coming So A Bôa Song Is Definitely Needed Can You Do Twilight By Them

this story is based off the song Twilight by Bôa, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

HUGE Warnings: descriptions of violence, murder, death, gore, sadness, small mention of depression and graves (don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

Authors note: ladies and ladies, the violence is back! Idk man it's been a while since I've written something like this. Remember you are loved <3

Your word and my word and her word is

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

And twilight gives me, an inner sanctity

And you're feeling, and you're hungry for her

And you don't understand it

But you know you haven't planned it

Your feelings and mine are all lonely

And dawn comes you're there lying with me

And you reach out to touch me, but I am in the twilight

You heard Ellie let out a sigh as she continued venting to you about Dina.

Stupid Dina.

Seems like all Ellie could talk about was her.

Why her? Out of all the people on the fucking planet why did it have to be Dina?

"She said "hey Ellie" and she didn't even smile with me! like what the fuck???" Ellie practically yelled with frustration.

You rolled your eyes at Ellie.

"Ellie calm down maybe she had a bad day"

Ellie stopped pacing around the room to look at you.

"Yeah.... you're right! She doesn't hate me she's just tired" Ellie said with a small smile.

You watched as Ellie lowered herself onto your bed and she looked up at you with a shy smile. She reached out her arms in your direction "cuddle?" she asked softly.

You let out a sigh as got into the bed spooning Ellie. She let out a hum of satisfaction.

"Ellie you need to stop doing this"

"doing what?"

you only shook your head and thought: "making me fall in love with you"

"friends don't cuddle" you brought up.

"Friends do" Ellie argued.

"Dina wouldn't like this" you added.

"well Dina isn't here right now" Ellie spoke matter of factly as she snuggled closer to you.

All you did was sigh as you brought your hand up to scratch Ellie's head. She let out a moan and she closed her eyes.

"You are a great friend, you know that?" Ellie spoke through a yawn.

Yeah, you were a great friend.

Your feelings and mine are all holy but,

You know and I know it's untrue because

When day dawns you're there lying with me

And the dawn can fly away

And you know I love you but you know that

There's nothing you can do about it

Because you love her, and you still want me

If I could be her... but I'm not her and she's not me

And you're somewhere different, on a different planet

You loved Ellie. You loved her a little more than a friend should.

Every time you saw her, your heart raced. She made you feel hot by just giving you a smile. Ellie made you feel things. Things you've never felt before.

You loved her.

But you knew she didn't feel the same.

You lay many nights next to Ellie, listening to her complain about Dina who's oblivious to Ellie's feelings.

It hurt you.

Seeing how Ellie always smiled when Dina walked into a room. Seeing how excited Ellie got, every time Dina said something. Every time Dina complimented Ellie, she almost exploded with joy.

It made you sick.

You tried being Dina.

Maybe Ellie would love you if you were someone else.

Maybe it was the way you did your hair? Was it the way you dressed? Was it the way you looked? What made Dina so special?

You tried cutting your hair the same length as Dina. You started dressing like her. You even copied her stupid music taste.

You tried. You tried so fucking hard.

But you could never be her and Ellie would never see you like that.

You knew Ellie loved you. She wanted you, but not in the same way you wanted her.

You were her best friend.

The girl she could go to with her problems, the girl who would help her with her hair and outfits.

You were nothing more than a friend.

You wanted to be Dina and you prayed to the gods that you could become her. But you didn't. You were nothing more than a friend in Ellie's eyes.

You saw how much Ellie's crush on Dina affected her.

How much it hurt her knowing that Dina most probably doesn't feel the same. And you being the amazing friend that you were, you decided to help Ellie.

You made it your mission to get them together.

Even though it hurt you knowing Ellie would never love you, as long as she was happy, you'd be happy too.

That's how you got yourself in your current position. Sitting across Dina in her apartment.

"So" you stared as you took a sip from the orange juice Dina gave you.

"we need to talk"

"about?"

"Ellie" "What about Ellie? Dina asked confused.

"do you have feelings for her?" you asked.

You watched as Dina burst out laughing, you watched as she threw her head back from laughing.

Anger sparked in you.

Why the fuck was she laughing? What's so fucking funny about liking Ellie?

After a while of Dina laughing, she slowed down breathing heavily before she let out a "Why would I like her? She's weird".

You felt your eye twitch before all hell broke loose.

How dare she say that about Ellie?

Your Ellie?

Ellie loved her so much and this is what Dina had to say?

This was the girl Ellie loved. She didn't deserve Ellie. If only she knew the amount of tears Ellie cried for her.

fucking bitch

You leaped from where you were sitting onto Dina, you straddled her as you punch her over and over again.

"How-"

*punch*

"dare-"

*punch*

"you"

*punch*

You don't even know how long you sat on her, and listened to her beg.

"Please" she whimpered as she tried getting you off her.

You eventually got off her breathing heavily as you looked down at your hands.

Your knuckles were bruised, and your hands covered in blood.

Dina's blood.

You looked over at her, seeing her slowly breathing. She didn't move, she didn't even make a sound.

Maybe she was unconscious.

You couldn't even recognize her with all the blood and bruises.

If Dina woke up, she would call the police. She would tell Ellie. Ellie would hate you.

You couldn't let that happen.

You slowly walked back from Dina, as you heard glass shatter. Your head snapped in the direction of the sound.

You saw pieces of glass scattered everywhere. And your orange juice was all over the floor.

Fuck you wanted to drink that.

You slowly bent down to pick up a shard of glass, and you held in your palm.

You walked towards Dina and you slowly pushed the glass into her trachea. You watched as the blood seeped from the wound.

You took a step back, leaving the glass shard in place. The blood dripped all over her throat and clothes, blood came out of her mouth.

Soon after Dina stopped breathing.

You killed her. You fucking killed someone.

You knew you made the right decision by killing Dina, because now you finally had Ellie to yourself.

And you still want it

The inner sanctity

And it's an evil

But the evil is necessary

And you're still hungry for her

And you still want her loving

But she doesn't love you

You watched as Ellie sat next to Dina's grave. She was sobbing.

Why the fuck was she crying over someone who didn't feel anything for her?

After Dina's death Ellie really struggled. She struggled to accept that the girl she loved wasn't here anymore. And what hurt Ellie the most was that Dina never knew.

Dina never knew the love Ellie had for her.

You watched Ellie spiral. You watched how she suffered.

Your plan was get rid of Dina, not the hurt the girl you loved.

Late at night when Ellie would lay in your arms you would sometimes feel regret for what you did. You didn't know it would affect Ellie the way it did, and you never wanted to hurt her. The guilt you felt soon get's replaced with pride when you realize that you got rid of the girl that was only going to hurt Ellie.

You saved Ellie. You saved her from rejection and embarrassment.

You knew she would get over it eventually.

Ellie's life wouldn't stop because her crush died. At some point she'll just have to accept it and you'll be here waiting for her with open arms.

You quietly walked towards Ellie as she sobbed next to Dina's grave, you raised your right hand putting it on her shoulder.

Ellie looked up at you, and in her eyes you could see how broken she was.

"It's ok Ellie" was all you said before she continued to sob into her hands.

You let out a sigh at the sight.

Months after Dina's death you realized that Ellie wasn't going to forget so easily.

You watched as she printed out pictures of her and Dina, and she placed it all over her apartment. You watched as she went to Dina's grave every week.

You listened to Ellie cry almost every night.

Even though you knew Dina didn't feel anything for her, Ellie still wanted her. Ellie still craved Dina.

Yes, she got affection from you, but you were never going to be enough.

All she wanted was Dina.

And you knew in the years to come Ellie wouldn't be able to move on and forget.

Even though you were there for her through everything. Even though you showed her nothing but love, the only person Ellie ever wanted was Dina.

She wanted Dina's love. Dina's care.

You were nothing but a friend. The realization made you sick.

You did everything for her.

You even killed for her.

But you'll never be Dina.

All you could was comfort her and hope, she'll one day feel the same.


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All the angst you write is so beautiful I’m in tears

omfg thank you sm! this means so much to me🥺

I love you pookie<33


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Will we ever get to know you? Like a face reveal, where you're from (you mentioned you live in Africa once) what it's like??? I've been following you since 2023, I love you sm

You're a very mysterious figure😭

In all honesty, I have thought about it. I've wanted to share a little more about myself but I'm not sure people would really care lmao.

I even have a series in my drafts based off one of the many languages in the country I grew up in (I'm in Nambia btw) but I'm too scared😭

Maybe if there's enough people interested in reading that or, maybe people wanna see more of me I can do/post it because I deadass want to.... but it's what my pookies want at the end of the day. Imagine wanting a Ellie fic and here you see my ugly ass face

But for now, I'll keep posting fics:)


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"you put a g*n to me, then you brought the sun to me"

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