I Hate Myself.

~Wieiad~

10•15•24

Breakfast:

• 146g ZS Vanilla Greek yogurt - 60c

• 8g Chia seeds - 40c

• 50ml Coconut milk - 10c

• 80g Pumpkin Puree - 40c

• Ground Cinnamon - 8c

• 68g Frozen Strawberries - 24c

• 33g Frozen Raspberries - 17c

• 30g Frozen Blueberries - 16c

• 45g Frozen Blackberries - 29c

Snack:

• 5g CB whole wheat tortilla - 7c

Total: 251c

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Went mia for a little while because my mental health was complete shit and I had no energy to post on here but I should be back now✨

black insp0 board

meal ideas:

~ Vent ~

Something I keep thinking about is that my childhood friend told me ~4 months ago that she couldn’t imagine me skinny after she saw how different the pantry was at my parents house. Which is valid for her life experience with me, and great motivation, but wtf…. I’m kind of scared to meet up with her again after I lose more weight. I don’t want her to say anything else about my body.. and she’s one of the luckiest people on earth because she grew up SKINNY, and literally just because of genetics. Her whole family is thin.. lucky mfs lol -but we used to hang out frequently and we’d both eat a lot growing up, and she still does. The last time I hung out with her, she got a honey bun from a convenience store after she ate a sausage the length of a paper plate, and a slice of chocolate cake like 30mins-1 hour before… It’s possible she has some mental stuff going on as well because of struggling to gain weight, but to make such a comment about another person isn’t very mindful. My brain is kind of taking it as “I can’t imagine you being a healthy weight”. - not that I wanna be lol - but sis basically said that without actually saying it.. She knows I grew up FAT AF, a damn boulder, so I’m just struggling to understand how she could say that. In most cases, a persons health is the most important thing, and what she said really makes me feels like she wants me to stay big subconsciously. But, she picked the word skinny and not healthy, so maybe I’m just thinking too much into it lol.. Either way though, it’s still motivating me to do better so ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it does make me anxious about my relationship with her; and the pantry is so different now too compared to what it was the last time she saw it. So actually, I am very scared of her coming over lol.. and I don’t like that I feel that way, I love her a lot. I’m just not as comfortable around her now :c

tomorrow I’ll be lighter, and that’s all that matters.

when i accidentally flash my scars to my friends:

morute/gloomy coquette insp0 board

for @d1or4ng3l

meal ideas:

ultimate thinspø ౨ৎ

Like a scratch record…