Fuck. I Love My Own Blog. It’s Almost Like It’s Full Of Things I Would Post It’s Crazy

agreed!!

“harry was born during a war, so he was an accident”

may i introduce: harry was born during a war because jily loved each other so hard and always wanted a big family (james cuz he wanted siblings growing up and wants to replicate his parents, and lily cuz she wants her kid to have the relationship she never could with petunia), but theres a chance the war will never end or one of them will die and their friends are dying AND THEY JUST WANT SOME HAPPINESS TO FIGHT FOR

they were married for a year before lily was pregnant, it was not a shotgun wedding. harry was planned, baby #2 on the way, planning for three.

u cannot convince me that if jily had lived they wouldn't have had more kids. you're saying james, an only child who found new brothers at school & lily, who missed her sister so much after their relationship fractured, WOULDN'T have given their son more siblings?

ofc not!!!! me personally i live for fics where harry has two or three siblings running underfoot and following him around like little ducklings when they finally get to hogwarts. cuties !!<3

i’m imagining voldemort’s reaction when he realized that (one of) the prophecy child was jily’s kid

that’s why he chose harry over neville, the man was afraid of what the potter’s kid would be like grown up

prophecy: a kid born in july will kill you

voldemort: uh huh sure, ill just smite the baby

prophecy: it’s james and lily’s kid

voldemort: oh FUCK

“And he came… first his head, then his body, tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky shadowy form of James Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like his wife. He walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear…”

-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Priori Incantatem, pg. 667

i am an upstanding citizen

(i dont tag the couple pairing in my throuple posts, and any ship content i make i tag with the ship for people to filter out if they so wish)

abt kittywater: YOU GET IT! oml. idgaf abt umbridge and hate current fanon reg (how majority portray) but like kittywater needs to become more popular just to watch those people be upset and when they try to explain their biases (misogyny) is revealed. still waiting for a long fic covering a kitty water slowburn and just popular fics that become so niche and referenced. this isn't just a ship for me at this point

exactly !!! canon umbridge backstory is soooo explainable too. squib brother, muggle mother, poor father. she was ashamed of her family and her own failures to become head girl. so she hustled succeeded at her career before 30. she needs to make sure everything is right and perfect.

she hates harry because hes a rich, smart, successful, famous, pureblood at only 15 and he doesnt give a single crap—hes willing to throw it all away and upset the social order to spread fear and rumours that voldemort is back. voldemort being back is NOT perfect or safe.

of course she’d want to tie herself to regulus: he’d be the perfect cover for her lie about her blood status. hes the golden child to a famous, powerful, rich, pureblood family. the blacks are severe and perfect and structured. she could be proud of her family if she was a black. she’d be safe from blood supremacists if she was a black.

as for reg, we don’t have much canon information, but he was a voldy fanboy so Dolores touting on about blood status and ambition all the time would catch his attention, especially when she starts simpering after him and appreciates his love for kreacher (house elves are basically cats. right?) who is his one true love.

My first piece for @drawprongsfootbadly lololol

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

Sirius and Severus should have been sexed up abusive lesbians

thank you thank you THANK YOU yes they should be crazy bitch fighting in a too small apartment with crippling addictions why is that so hard to understand !!!!

"Wolfstar would never happen during Hogwarts." I say. People are boo-ing. They want me off stage. "Wolfstar would only happen in adulthood if James died. As the last two survivors trope. In no universe that James is alive would Sirius end up with Remus." I continue. The crowd gets worse. "She's right!" I hear. I turn my head before leaving and see Remus fucking Lupin, who in fact is aware that he can't have Sirius in any universe where James breathes.

read here for more context

James wished he could blame it on the alcohol, but the dizziness that overtook his entire body when Sirius whispered in his ear, his hips grinding against James’ arse, was from a whole different kind of drug.

He was almost tempted to dance off beat just to feel his friend redirect him again, hand pressing burns into his hip. But it felt even better when he did something right and Sirius whispered praises, breath brushing against the shell of his ear.

Ever the show off, he perused the dance floor for inspiration. Something flashy. His eyes kept drifting back to the couple dancing in front of them, one man wearing a hickey into the other’s neck.

Now, how to entice Sirius to do that to him?

There.

James bent over at the waist, keeping his arse firmly pressed against Sirius. Then he shook it, drinking in the way his mate’s grip clenched against his hips.

More, James thought, his competitive spirit and thrill at pleasing Sirius sending blood rushing to his head.

He popped a squat—his body flesh with Sirius’ the whole time—turning around to face Sirius, and grinned. He hoped his expression looked flirtatious and conniving, but there was a near 100% chance it was just goopy and giggly. James kept eye contact with his mate as he slowly stood up, swaying his hips and running his hands up the backs of Sirius’s legs, fingers learning every crook and bend of his body.

He stop one hand on Sirius’ backend, giving it a cheeky squeeze, and let the other arm rest loosely over his shoulder.

“How’s that, Pads?” James said under his breath. His whole body shook from nerves so violently that he couldn’t muster more than a whisper.

His mind nearly spiralled into the ‘oh my god, what have I just done’ territory when Sirius’s arm looped back around his waist, pulling him closer. With his other hand Sirius gently held James’ jaw.

“So you do have a little gay in you.” Sirius smirked.

James gulped. “A lot more than a little.”

Sirius had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the smiles and the flirting and the hinting at women sharing his bed. He mentioned the clubs and changed the pronouns and he got good at it.

He got good at lying to James. He’d never wanted to be good at lying to James.

He’d gotten so good at it that when James and Lily broke up and James needed an outlet to “let loose” that he’d turned to Sirius and asked where he normally went.

And, of course, Sirius had given the name of the only bar he could think of.

One he hadn’t been to in a year, which could be in his best interest now as hopefully none of his old hookups would be there. But still.

He’d very much given the name of a gay bar to newly singly James Potter.

He debated calling in help but Remus wouldn’t understand the urgency. Had never understood why Sirius didn’t go out with it and tell James he was gay. James would understand, Remus was certain. It wouldn’t change anything.

But Remus didn’t know about the countless practice kisses. The times they’d share beds to stave off the cold. Didn’t know that the only reason James couldn’t see Sirius’ feelings was that he’d never thought them possible.

Sirius was a womanizer.

He’d carefully made sure James knew that. Believed that.

Because otherwise, his friend might see. Might see the arms thrown over shoulders, the lingering hugs, the blushes, the smile he couldn’t control at hearing Lily had finally left him.

Things that a straight best friend might get away with. Things that a queer friend wouldn’t.

But then he’d gone and given James the name of London’s number one gay night club.

And he was fucked.