A Secret History, Otherwise Known As What The Fuck Richard

musings on may

Franz Kafka Diaries, 1914-1923 | Felix Vallotton, The Dordogne with Carrenac (1925) | Vera Brittain, “Because You Died: Poetry and Prose of the First World War and After” | Jin Xingye | Haruki Murakami, "Norwegian Wood" | Jin Xingye

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Every word written is a victory. No matter how shitty. No matter how painful to write. No matter if you immediately deleted them, or if you know you will delete them later.

If you wrote - if you tried - I'm proud of you.

Sorry for wasting time on my phone, that wasn't very Rory Gilmore, straight A+, speech champion, top of the class, academic weapon, relentless writer, future IVY student, 10 AP classes, graduating early, perfect score, Honors student of me.

hello again (bill clinton limewire voice) my fellow americans

There are a few states that actually have Shield/Refuge laws designed to help trans people fleeing from trans-unsafe states, which also guarantee trans folks access to healthcare. These states are:

California

Colorado

Illinois

Oregon

Vermont

Washington

Minnesota

New Mexico

Maine

Massachusetts

Rhode Island

Connecticut

Washington D.C.

Additionally, some states have "trans sanctuary" executive orders signifying safety for trans folks seeking healthcare. These states are:

Maryland

New Jersey

New York

Living as a resident in these states means you are protected by state's rights and state government to continue or begin receiving trans healthcare. These laws have been codified in their states so everything has been a-ok'd by their state governments.

Stay alive. You got this. I love you.

Why Originality in Writing Isn't Always Possible

I was writing for years before I encountered a problem with writing as a whole—that most ideas have already been published.

When someone first told me that though, they said it like, "You'll never think of something that hasn't already been written."

The phrasing makes it sound like all story ideas are a waste of your time. I began spiraling. I researched every short story I'd ever written. I looked up books similar or identical to other books I loved.

Turns out, that person was right.

Sort of.

New Ideas Are Old News

Think about how long humanity has existed. Think about the many experiences that generations have shared—love, loss, happiness, adventure, self-growth, your coming-of-age years.

Story ideas inspired by whatever you go through in life have likely already been lived or thought of, given the trillions of people who have walked this planet and interacted with each other.

BUT

Originality Doesn't Only Come From Ideas

This is what I wish someone had told me back when I was spiraling.

I'll say it again for those in the back—

Originality Doesn't Only Come From Ideas

It also comes from your voice and your perspective!

Voice can feel tricky to grasp when you're starting out as a writer. Everyone can throw a few words on a page. How do you know what your voice sounds like and if readers will respond well to it?

Imagine two friends going on a trip. They do everything together. They sit on the beach, they eat lunch at a restaurant, and watch a movie before heading home. Then they each journal about their day in notebooks.

Those entries would look nothing alike! One friend might relax on the beach and feel so at peace that they take a nap, while another gets sunburned easily and hides under their umbrella with a scowl. Both ultimately enjoyed their day for different reasons. The beach lover got time by the ocean and the other friend who liked the beach much less fell in love with a new dish at the restaurant because they're a foodie.

You'll also frame your stories differently than any other writer. Like accents change the way every person speaks out loud, writers structure sentences and describe things/events/emotions very differently.

These may seem like insignificant details that set stories apart, but they make all the difference.

Think about Homer’s Odyssey. Circe is a minor character in the long tale and basically gets about a minute of the reader's time before Odysseus moves on to the next phase of his journey home. In Madeline Miller's Circe, the goddess becomes the main character and the ultimate portrayal of fear, rage, hurt and healing that are universally experienced but are especially true to the female experience.

Both stories follow the same timeline, so readers don't pick them up to necessarily get surprised by something Brand New to Literature™. Instead, they read direct retellings to learn from the characters in new ways, live momentarily through someone else's eyes, and bond over another aspect of the human experience.

Circe is an incredible work of art. Your idea—whether it's a direct retelling, indirect retelling, or full of literary devices from previous works—can be incredible too.

How Do You Know Which Ideas Are Worth Writing?

If a story idea doesn't immediately make you jump for your computer or a pen/paper, is it worth writing? My best advice is to sit with it.

Some of my best work has come from stories that got to marinate. I put them in the back of my mind and thought about the characters or themes or plot when something sparked another idea. By the time I started typing, the story was more vivid than when I first though of it.

But also, I have probably twenty failed ideas for every story I've written.

Give yourself time to get to know your ideas. If they're worth your time, they'll sit with you too.

5/31/24

sorry guys for the breif break, but school got out and I decided to allow myself a bit of a break. for the past two weeks I have had the luxury of being a slug, but i start my job in two days and decided to begin to acclimate myself to being a functional human. throughout my break i was proud of myself because i wrote every day, weather that was journaling or working on something publishable, and i read daily.

being home was an unwelcome change, me and my mom don't get along, and thankfully she had been working in office the past 2 weeks, but now that shes working from home I've decided to spend as little time as possible at home. my mom is generally unsupportive of anything that she doesn't seem as valuable, and sees my hobbies as a waste of time unless she can brag to her friends about it.

in other good news, i've found a new eq barn and am trying it out tomorrow, I've been drinking water consistently and i found my bracelet and necklace that i thought i loss. they belonged to my dad before i 'stole' them, and have become very important to me, despite my hatred of working retail, i am excited to have some structure in my life, i find that when i have appointments or schedules it makes me more productive so working again should be good for me, anyway here's to what i did today

whay i did today:

wahsed hair

oiled scalp

read only the brave washed and put away clothes

washed dishes

cooked

journaled

went through storage bins

drunk a crap ton of water