Hello Again (bill Clinton Limewire Voice) My Fellow Americans

Just found out what a commonplace notebook is and I'm thinking I should get one. Honestly the point of this blog is sort of similar to a commonplace notebook but in digital form (And it's all public lol). Having a book dedicated to throwing whatever I have going in my brain or in my life does sound pretty nice. And maybe I can draw in it a bit too! I keep trying to let myself be messy, make mistakes and not be perfect in my regular sketchbook for a few years now but it hasn't really been working. Somehow I still get it in my head that it has to look a certain way and it can sometimes make me lose my motivation all together. So having a book dedicated to looking like absolute garbage and having no pressure for everything to look a certain way could help with that too! At least I hope it will. And it will also give me a place to put any actual garbage that I don't wanna throw out like tags and stuff from things I buy (since I kinda hoard them bc I don't wanna throw them any lol)

[05.14]

Its been a weird few days, I finished my first semester, with a bang, got myself off of academic probation and rose my gpa to a 2.55, i was initally proud of myself I kept thinking about how I could have done better. today i found out i have to reapply for my job because of my leave and I am suddenly overwhelmed with the sheer amount of clutter that lives in my life. I've been trying to live more intentionally, live with less, but I chronically horde out of fear that my things, my uniquely acquired and curated things will be taken away by my mother who seems to take a sick pride in making me sad.

I woke up at 7 and took a shower, and lied in my bed with just a towel because I had the house to myself. I didn't dry off completely and tuned the fan on to the highest setting because I wanted to feel cold.

I fear I have been making my to-do list too long and overwhelming, so tomorrow I have planned for less, making the list more smaller and manageable makes me more likely to try.

sorry for being weirdly introspective, it's been a confusing few days

what i did today: ate 2 meals wrote 600 words finished everything i never told (lmk if yall want opinions) started reading that was then, this was now wash dishes unpacked 5 boxes organized sewing area organize bookshelf made jello washed hair organized desk talked to a friend

please feel free to reach out, always looking for mutuals

(8.27)

today was my first day of classes, and it went well, my professors seemed cool. unfortunately, I am taking a 8am three-hour math class, and I am already slightly overwhelmed, but while I was in class I had a few post ideas so there is that! i wish I had more to say but I am suffering from food poisoning so I cannot offer much but I promise I will be more succinct in the future! anyway pls interact if you want, tell me how the start of your semester was!

So does the bright star fandom actually exist or am I alone here-

Also those who don’t know this it’s an aWesome musical I love and would really recommend-

Why You Should ‘Make Yourself’ Write (And How To Do It)

Most people who write for a hobby - especially the neurodivergent crowd - will write whenever they’re inspired, and many will be able to get an insane amount of writing done in one go, but then there’s a good while of writer’s block and low motivation/inspiration in between those bursts of creativity. You can see forcing yourself to write as something irrelevant to you; it’s just a hobby, so why burn yourself out forcing yourself to do it until it’s no longer fun?

The reason people say this, even for hobbyists, is so that you have some level of consistent progress; relying on random spikes in creativity or convenient hyperfocus isn’t a sustainable plan when it can either leave you burnt out after or leave you at a creative dead end for weeks or months between actual writing sessions

If you write consistently, you make progress consistently, so it’s good practice to make a habit out of using writing goals to keep you on track. Maybe you work best writing X amount of words, or maybe you prefer to write for X amount of time. Maybe you want to meet this goal every day, or maybe every few days, or maybe every week, or so on. I’m personally on 1000 words per week, and despite my autistic brain that thought I’d never be able to set and keep a consistent goal, I’ve been able to stick to it for nearly six months now. I also know people who are on 10 minutes per day, 100 words per week, 500 words every three days, 5000 words per month, etc

For me, being able to keep track of this not only means I get to see consistent progress being made, but it’s actually been really encouraging to see that word count go up so often and I’ve found that it motivates me to keep up with it. I’ve really enjoyed getting to work on this and having a minimum amount of progress per week really helps me feel like this is something real and something that’s slowly but surely going to be complete soon enough

Give it a try; say to yourself “if I want to achieve this goal, how long do I reasonably need to give myself to do it?” and have a go. After a few cycles it starts to register in your brain that, hey, you’re actually getting something done and being productive and watching that word count going up every day/week/etc! And don’t be afraid to change up your goal and your deadline if you think you’re not being challenged enough or if you’re starting to get burnt out on it - I’d consider it burning out when it’s consistently feeling less like a fun activity and more like a chore you have to do. It should still be fun!

I cannot stress this enough- Build a routine. Build Habits. Wake up every day and get used to being productive, one day at a time. Do this for long enough and eventually you’ll be at your goal without even realising it. 

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

So turns out…..you guys are not gonna believe this…….but it turns out. Reading real books. Is good for you actually.

discipline is self care

self care isn't just face masks and bubble baths, it's also doing your assignment in advance so you won't pull an all nighter before the deadline, cooking at home instead of ordering out; discipline is an act of self love and care

I will succeed. Not immediately. But definitely.