This User Has Repressed Trauma

Ed bitches be like "I wanna be fragile and dainty" bro you eat less than a toddler should, you are definitely fragile on a medical point

The Republicans thrive on taking away basic human rights away.

The Democrats thrive on dangling human rights as a way to get re-elected year after year, then if they ever actually give you it, you still have to pay for the right to have your rights.

The two parties do not respect your rights. They simply do not see us as equals, but as subjects.

Still one of my fav Meme of all time

Salt preserving a lemon lime mix! So excited! 🤩

"Treat others how you want to be treated."

That phrase is one I've heard all my life growing up, yet it's clear how my family wants me to treat them.

My uncles want to be left alone, even in the worst circumstances,

my grandma wants to keep in touch and love me always,

my dad wants nothing to do with me (same as my sisters apparently) my brothers want space and nothing but space and for their annoying younger brother to stay away

and my mom.. well,

if she wants to be treated as how she treated me, then surely I should kill everything she loves, throw her to a rap!st for 1.5 years, bring men around that will treat her like shit (oh wait she already does that herself), betray her repeatedly, destroy her room and let crackheads sell everything/destroy everything she has, tell her no matter what she is to upkeep the majority of the house chores (yes even with fresh SH! cuts), tell her her medical problems are not only a burden but a detriment to how I'M living MY life and that she needs to think of the family when she complains about anything, call her a bitch, cunt, monster, manipulative, etc., call her just to scream at her for manipulating my friends into helping her get necessities out of life, neglect her in a trap house for 6 years with no outside support except begging neighbors for essentials like hygiene products, drivee with her in the vehicle but almost crash it about 5 times each time, demean, aggravate, punish, abuse her as she's abused me.

...And then tell her that she's not allowed to seek outside help or support, and not even utter a single fucking word about what goes on in the house, because as she's told me over and over, what happens in the house stays in the house.

And she still thinks she deserves forgiveness? She treats me like a criminal not knowing she's a serial killer of souls and hope.

I've forgiven her actions of the past, but that doesn't mean the pain and absolute agony of a life I once knew just disappears.

Met with a new therapist yesterday. She asked if I had previously been diagnosed, I said yes and named them. Generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, PTSD and panic disorder. Her response, "wow that's a lot". I just laughed because yeah I guess it is but no one in my life ever acknowledges that. No one knows how fucking hard every single days it.

Nobody:

Me “reading” the menu at the restaurant that I totally didn’t look up a week ago to order a totally non planned spontaneous meal:

Restaurant Safe Meals

here is my list of safe meals at various fast food restaurants. each includes a "spontaneous" option for when i can't plan ahead and need to stay under my limit and a "planned" option for when i know i have to eat out and i can make it my only meal. this will be updated as needed and is based on terre haute indiana nutrition facts.

McDonald's

Spontaneous: 4 piece nuggets w/ spicy buffalo (200 kcal)

Planned: cheeseburger and small fries (520 kcal)

Burger King

Spontaneous: cheeseburger (283 kcal)

Planned: whopper jr. and value fries (537 kcal)

Arby's

Spontaneous: roast beef 'n cheese slider (240 kcal)

Planned: roast beef w/ arby's sauce and snack curly fries (625 kcal)

Wendy's

Spontaneous: 4 piece spicy nuggets w/ honey mustard (230 kcal)

Planned: jr. cheeseburger deluxe and small fries (600 kcal)

Subway

Spontaneous: 6" sweet onion chicken teriyaki on italian (300 kcal)

Planned: 6" buffalo chicken melt (450 kcal)

Jimmy John's

Spontaneous: little john #3 tuna salad (250 kcal)

Planned: 8" BLT (590 kcal)

Panda Express

Spontaneous: kid's teriyaki chicken w/ super greens (270 kcal)

Planned: kid's orange chicken w/ fried rice and super greens (625 kcal)

Taco Bell

Spontaneous: chicken chipotle melt (190 kcal)

Planned: crunchwrap supreme (530 kcal)

Starbucks

Spontaneous: grande nonfat iced café mocha no whip (200 kcal)

Planned: venti iced caramel macchiato (350 kcal)

Einstein Bros.

Spontaneous: half asiago with onion and chive (210 kcal)

Planned: asiago with onion and chive (420 kcal)

see my problem is every time i see red flags i think it’s a carnival