Don’t Mind Me Just Coping With Disordered Eating Humor

I've been on the CPTSD sub Reddit for a good while now and I'm starting to realise, that I'm in the later stages of healing than most people in that sub Reddit.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, healing takes time and take all the time that you need. Nothing wrong in that.

It just jogged my memory of how my therapist said to me, MANY times when my therapist said I put in a lot of work in myself, before I had therapy. Like my bf, normally people with a lot of Trauma date abusive people (no matter what gender they are). She said "normally people come to me when they are at 0, you on the other hand. You've already understand how your brain works and you've already trained yourself to rethink in different situations".

IF I said that in the sub Reddit, or a Facebook group or any other trauma survivors. I get bullied of like "omg you can't think like that. YOU HAVE TO THINK LIKE ME". Fucking why??? Aren't we all individuals, with our own feelings, our own thoughts and our own emotions. Why do trauma survivors do this? I legit, don't understand.

Yes, I put in the work because I WANTED to heal. I've told many stories on how Healing is a choice (I might post more when my memories come up). You have Google, you have the library, you have FREE ACCESS TO PSYCHOLOGY TO UNDERSTAND YOUR BRAIN.

Do know what I typed in Google, when I wanted to understand my own brain. Okay... Here's a list;

Why I get flashbacks?

What is Flashbacks?

Why do I date abusive men?

What is Trauma Bonding?

Why do I attract toxic friends?

Why do I get nightmares?

PTSD symptoms

PTSD symptoms no one talks about

PTSD depression

Why doesn't my mother love me?

Depression in PTSD

PTSD Vs CPTSD

Autism Vs CPTSD

Why do I argue a lot?

Why do hide myself?

What is Co-dependency

What is trauma bonding?

Toxic mother's

What is over bearing mother's?

Why do I hate myself?

Understanding the dynamics of Dysfunctional families?

What is Dysfunctional families?

What is narcissism?

Narcissistic mother?

The effects on sexual assault in children?

Aftermath after sexual assault and the symptoms?

What is Trauma Bonding in families?

What is trauma memories?

How do I cope with trauma memories?

How do I escape my abusive family?

What is a refuge?

How much does living own cost?

This is just SOME on what I typed in. IF you follow my blog, you know I ask questions on WHY. Why do we do the things that we do? Why do we act in a certain way? Why, why, why.

I know people hate me asking questions on why. Oh, I know they do. They can fuck off because I ain't changing. Asking why, helped me understand my brain. I'm not changing for no one. Fuck that!

I do this to understand my brain and how it works.

I WANTED to heal, so I asked myself; why?

“This user is a Knight of Space” - 🩸

i feel so much that i feel nothing

70 CAL STARBS DRINK

Here’s my go to Starbucks order!! 70cals! And 12g carbs!! Found this on tiktok and it’s so good. All on a Venti size!

Godtier analysis/headcanons

I’m gonna start with Knight of Life because that’s mine, then I’ll go with people i know and then I’ll do other ones. (I’m more likely to do ones that aren’t explicitly described in the comic)

Knight: gender neutral. exploits their aspect as a weapon, usually for the benefit of others. usually uses their aspects in unorthodox ways as well, utilizing what they already have. at the start of a session, a knight lacks their aspect in some way(like dave’s lack of patience). knights have been known to assist in the breeding of a genesis frog. exact abilities are unclear, and lean more towards being an active class. a knight’s session often lacks their aspect in some way(the danscestors’ session wasn’t well planned[lacked mind], the beta session’s reckoning came early[lacked mind], and the beta trolls were divided by their differences and blood color[lacked bonds/blood]) so their duty is usually to compensate for that in some way(dave fixing the timeline, karkat stopping gamzee’s rampage, etc).

Known knights: Dave Strider (Knight of Time), Karkat Vantas (Knight of Blood), and Latula Pyrope (Knight of Mind).

Life: empathy, healing, improvement of self and others, plants. life players are nature oriented and creative.

a Knight of Life would likely have some sort of health condition that negatively impacts their quality of life, such as asthma or EDS. they would also likely lack physical energy. A Knight of Life’s quest would likely revolve around improving their physical condition and restoring life to their land(solving a famine that was harming the consorts or something like that). Their session might be barren, or the other players might lack the energy and/or motivation, and the knight would have to find some way to remedy that(although there’s not much you can do for a barren session). Knights of life would do anything to protect their friends’ lives, even take on serious injuries/conditions or give their own life. this knight would definitely assist in frog breeding, moreso than any other aspect.

Personality wise, Knights of Life are likely realists, seeing things the way they are. they would see a broken system and say “hey, that’s a broken system!” they would not just recognize flaws, but they would be upset by those flaws and do everything in their power to fix them. like any life player, these knights love nature, but their view on it would likely strongly revolve around the desire to protect that nature and/or use it to protect their friends. if you are a knight of life, you probably like hanging out in the woods and gardening, even if you’re not exactly the best at keeping plants healthy or remembering to go outside. you might cry when anyone dies, not just your loved ones. knights of life definitely love animals too, even the ones that could be considered “ugly” by others. nothing makes knights of life angrier than when someone intentionally harms an innocent life/lives. 

a Knight of Life’s abilities may include but are not limited to:

-bringing someone back from the brink of death(no resurrection though; knights can only work with something that already exists)

-transferring someone else’s ailments to themself

-plant manipulation(speedy growth, shapes, weapons, etc)

-quickly healing themself and others

-maximizing someone’s performance, including their own

-increasing cell production(to the extent of making someone develop lots of tumors very quickly)

-curing illnesses

-extending someone’s life beyond the natural span

the extent to which these things could do would depend on the knight’s level, and almost all of them would likely not be available/fully available until they reached godtier. it’s likely that a mortal Knight of Life could heal others, at the expense of part of their lifespan or general health.

source: MSPA wiki

this was mostly just for fun, but please feel free to recommend which one i should do next! i’ll probably reformat this later, but i’m too lazy to do it now lol

Hey there! Could you please do a classpect on the heir of time and the knight of life? I haven’t seen much of either and would love to see these two more explored :)

I’d be happy to do an analysis for you, thanks for asking. While I don’t have a specific rule about it I have been doing single classpect analysis one at a time generally and since my ask box fills easily I’m going to stick with that, hope that’s not too much of an inconvenience. I’m going to be going with Knight of Life because the Time classes are already some of the most heavily covered on my blog at this point. Maybe the next time my ask box opens I’ll be able to cover the Heir.

Knight of Life - One who serves Life or serves using Life

A knight of life serves Health, Wealth, and Passion.

Life is the most important thing to this player, not specifically their own but as a general concept. If anything was to damage or hinder it for anybody, the knight would do their best to help repair it. It’s likely that even non-doctor knights of life will try to learn basic first aid/psychology so they’re prepared to help. Health conscious but also tending to make sure it’s a life worth living as well.

Sburb Session Interaction

Helpful: The ultimate support healing player. Will have the Boonbuck situation covered. When it comes to helping the space player bring the genesis frog to life, will be one of the best possible helpers.

Hurtful: Keeping your teammates alive too much in a session can lead to people missing out on god tiering. Honestly will become a huge target and might need protected themselves from your enemies. Might not be good at accepting when things go horribly wrong/being stuck in a doomed timeline.

Things/Activities that make me feel skinny for literally no reason but it gets more confusing as the list goes on

Wearing all black

Drinking ice water

Sparkling water

Being outside with no jacket in the winter

Listening to "Arctic Monkeys"

Getting bruises or scratches

Playing with cats

Laying on my stomach

Smelling vanilla

Cinnamon

The color white

Energy drinks

Burning yourself

The smell of smoke

The French language

2014 YouTube

5 seconds of summer's first album

Taste of blood when you bite the inside of your cheek

Could we get an Heir of Space ? (Also your clashpect symbols go so hard like theyre so nice to look at bro ......)

The Heir of Space

The Heir of Space is someone who relies mainly on their own intuition and mind, following what their brain and heart is telling them to do.

They like to know the how, who, what, where, when, and why of every situation, and this may or may not cause them to be something of a history buff or someone who can predict a situation way before it happens because they know what kinds of actions lead to what kind of situations.

The Heir of Space is the kind of person who will have a very strong interest in something for a very short amount of time before they change their interest to something different.

They might be the type to be interested in myths and legends, astonished by the things that people have made up and relishing in the untrue lies.

The Heir of Space probably is the kind to be easily manipulated or tricked into doing something via reverse psychology or by promising them something related to their current favourite subject or topic.

They might also be pushed around, maybe mocked, for their interests in abstract and wild topics.