Caffeine Does Not Dehydrate You Quickly Enough To Cancel Out The Effects Of The Water Content In Coffee,

sounds heard while reading hnmr spec charts:

“it’s so sad, it has no friends!”

“that’s not possible, you can’t have that many friends!”

“that hydrogen is getting peer pressured.”

cool facts

- AgNO3 (silver nitrate) clots blood! it's actually got several medical applications! (and is often in military first aid kits!)

- when oil spills happen, the bacteria which can metabolize polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) tend to rise in population, and those that cannot tend to decrease!

*waters plants, chugs three cups of oversweetened black tea, pulls up six half-read, poorly annotated papers, knits three rows of a frog stuffie, re-reads prompt and guidelines, tries to command f keywords in the paper, finds nothing, re-reads the abstract, realizes all the papers are useless, goes onto googles scholar and searches for the same keyword, finds new papers, reads abstract and intro, finds something super interesting, reads discussion and realizes the methods for this study were slightly different than what you were expecting, has an existential crisis, wonders why tf they're doing genomics when they're interested in hydrocarbons, sheds one tear, shrugs, types furiously and writes it up anyway with a quick sentence explaining that it's slightly different but still relevant, cries, does citations and slams computer shut, stares at the clock which has somehow gone from 11AM to 6PM in the blink of an eye, and proceeds to not sleep for another ten hours*

"yEaH, i'M a ScIenTiSt."

lysenko is the mansplain manipulate manwhore of genetics and agrobiology.

no, my mind cannot be changed.

garcia and gordon 1992 is really saving my ass here

you ever self-study for something, think you cover all the topics, and then take a practice test and realize that. damn. you know. absolutely. f-ing. nothing.

cuz like yeah same bro.

...scientists really be like "put simply" and then follow it up with the most incomprehensible, jargon filled sentence you've ever read.

Dear scientists,

Please, for the love of God, please, make your papers more understandable.

Fuck you

Sincerely,

A college student on the verge of tears

so. geoengineering. seems pretty fricking cool, right?

and like, in concept, yeah. no, Fe fertilization ain't gonna solve global warming, and it will probably have some wonky ass impacts on nearby marine life, and i wouldn’t recommend doing it, but it’s theoretically very cool! and it's so much more elegant that other CO2 reduction schemes.

buuuuut.

then, you get to other types of geoengineering. and it's like—

toss a bomb into the ocean!!!

froth the ocean.

shoot aerosols into the atmosphere.

put hydrofluorocarbons into the atmosphere.

yeet dry ice into the atmosphere to precipitate snow

like. sir. no?????

bernadette banner just referred to someone as her "resident chemist" and i am quite sure that this is the profession i aspire to.

i- it has come to my attention that some of the journal articles i am citing, for a school paper, sound like tabloids???

examples:

How Enigmatic is Hans Christian Andersen?

Seeing Andersen as He Isn’t

Like bro?