Garcia And Gordon 1992 Is Really Saving My Ass Here

...scientists really be like "put simply" and then follow it up with the most incomprehensible, jargon filled sentence you've ever read.

Dear scientists,

Please, for the love of God, please, make your papers more understandable.

Fuck you

Sincerely,

A college student on the verge of tears

the HOYO artificial upwelling project in japan...

such a rip to feed all the lil phytoplankton-ey bois all that phosphorous, nitrogen, calcium, and silicon to ultimately have growth limited by sunlight... like bruh...

bernadette banner just referred to someone as her "resident chemist" and i am quite sure that this is the profession i aspire to.

geoengineering be like:

no one:

absolutely no one:

some random scientist named dr evil: y'know what sounds like a really good idea? froth the fucking ocean, make meringue earth using CO2.

part of the scientific community: huh... y'know, what if we just... tossed a bomb? but like, into the ocean. in the middle of a hurricane. cuz. that works. 100%

another equally ridiculous part of the scientific community that is like 100% white military men: ...okay, but what if we put frickin hydrofluorocarbons into the atmosphere. yes, it will cause warming. we know. we just wanna. play god.

me talking about my research project to non-science folks: yeah, so i'm using bacteria to get rid of oil.

me talking about my research project to science folks/writing about it: i'm investigating how the pH of the solution marine bacteria are cultured in affects their ability to degrade hydrocarbons.

me talking about research in my head: how make bacteria bois the best souuuuuuup? do they like sour soup or no sour soup?

passive voice needs to stop. because sometime i forget how english works and i have like three different clauses in my sentence and i just- can't.

google's auto responses are killing me..

my friend (the sweetest angel who looked over my paper for me) has highlighted the work "Lamarckian," asking "what does this mean?"

google's auto responses?

"i don't know" and "sorry."

"what is this?" "i don't know. i wrote this paper. but i just... don't know."

alternatively.

"what is this" "sorry." no context. just sorry.

sounds heard while reading hnmr spec charts:

“it’s so sad, it has no friends!”

“that’s not possible, you can’t have that many friends!”

“that hydrogen is getting peer pressured.”

have you ever done six hours of research, digging through at least twenty papers in order to get yourself to a surface-level amount of knowledge on a topic, write a two page summary that sounds like a five year old wrote it, and only cite five of those twenty papers?

cuz yeah. me too bro.

i love describing acid base buffers as "they turn the extra pH-ey things into the less pH-ey things."