Farewell Online Privacy

i was kinda looking forward to watch Zhongli nuke everything from orbit

so on this post @an-absolute-failure tagged this:

and like??? YES???? I KNOW IT WAS ONLY A JOKE BUT IM KINDA INVESTED IN MY HEAD NOW

mcyt hairdresser au:

• dream team and sleepy bois are opposing hairdressers om the opposite side of the same street

• and in the beggining like objectively dream team does better cuts then sbi but like the sleepy bois just have such good atmosphere n the people who work there are nice so why the hell not?

• dream cuts hair so fucking quick. like bro why are you in a rush? chill. he still does a good job somehow

• george is a bit less confident in his abilities and is very methodical

• sapnap is younger than the other two and is almost like an apprentice to them but hes so good in customer service

• sleepy bois started out as phil and wilbur doin their thing

• wilbur does most of the actual haircuts n phils the manager

• but then they get this job interview with this hipster lookin ass 20 something year old with bright fucking pink hair and a mask with a pig snout on it because of course he does

• he obviously gets hired because how is that mans resume even possible??? hes barely an adult???

• after techno gets hired sbi's reviews suddenly spike and business is booming

• half because technos a tryhard and half because he looks like a hot shonen protagonist

• along with wilbur. wilbur was the main reason people became regulars

• dream and techno kinda have a friendly rivalry now but theyre both secretly rlly invested and has bets for literally everything. some random rich guy bet 100k to whoever could get the best customer satisfaction

• dream teams manager is bbh. obviously

• bads basically a father figure to sapnap. theyre adorable

• sap cant work all the time tho bc he has school tomorrow

• eventually sbi is stable enough that they could get some apprentices

• they hire these two teenagers because why the fuck not? theyll grt good experience

• turns out the two already know eachother and now they have this awful (amazing) power duo of over caffeinated sixteen year olds.

• tommy. how the fuck did he even get hired?? he literally threatens to stab customors with the scissors. hes stuck sweeping the floor

• youd think tubbo is much better but,,, not realllyyy hes only barely more trusted with scissors and doesnt shout at people (as much). hes a receptionist and is very passionate

• but the techno, wilbur n phil are already emotionally attached theyre legally obliged to keep them

aaand that is The End of my ramblings for now. please add if u wanna hdksjfks

the reblog to like ratio here sucks big cock holy fuck

don't forget:

Australia had one of its worst bushfire seasons

The coronavirus

2020 has been the wildest year and it's still January

Hatsune Miku was announced in the cochella lineup

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quit being royals

The US killed an important Iranian general which prompted everyone to think WWIII was happening

Mr. Peanut died???

Justin Bieber thinks babies are #yummy

Nikkitutorials was blackmailed into coming out as trans

Adam Sandler threatened to purposely make bad movies if he doesn't win an Oscar (he wasn't even nominated so looking forward to that)

Gwyneth Paltrow sold out candles that are meant to smell like her vagina

The upcoming NBC streaming service announced a TAZ animated series

Grimes announced that she's pregnant with Elon Musk's baby

Parasite became the first foreign language film to win best ensemble cast at the SAG awards

Kat Von D sold her makeup company

Onision called the cops on Chris Hanson

Pete Buttigieg had to ask for applause at rally

Jeff Bezos phone was hacked because he clicked on a shady link in a text

The moment the firewalls broke

unfeeling cookies

Everybody reblog with your quarantine nickname. I’m malaised poptart

Me: *breathes*

My friend, who recently learned some new Internet Lingo: it be like that all the time

he was killed by the power of the tits

so it turns out great tits can and do kill and eat both other birds and small mice when food is scarce, particularly during winter, and i just cannot get over this picture. it looks like the kind of photo hunters take with their kills. i’m losing it

destroy the idea that i will ever calm down

pride month may be over but its never too late to sing scream about ur gayness