:(((((

Stress keeps ramping up no matter what I do and I'm getting really worried because I've had since pretty gross thoughts for the past monthish and they're not going away like I thought they would

Just the other day, my cousins painted my nails bc I was insecure about my hands- honestly, I don't deserve them, they're so sweet. Feels a little out of place, but it's alright. At first I was going to try to scrub them off, but it feels okay now.

Summer school honestly feels really polarizing right now, with my English class in the morning being basically free, and my afternoon math being almost four hours of nothing I understand. What's worse, my parents legitimately think something's wrong with me if I don't get an A in the more "academic" courses, like math and science. If I get a B, they might consider sending me to a shrink. Reality hit today, and I ended up silently crying in class. Sucks.

Math class consists of living off of straight copium and daydreaming about one day opening an imports store, so I'd suppose I'm not helping my case.

I'll get on it soon, I guess.

Sorry for the confusing post, I've been really stressed and remembered I haven't posted here for a while

My instagram where I go on dates with nobody

Who, me?

I’m not depressed. I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t feel depressed.

So why does everything point to me being depressed? I can’t even keep up a personal blog, which kinda sucks :/

Recently, I stumbled upon a little text-adventure game that pretty much summed up how I was feeling for the last two years or so- I can definitely turn my life around, but I just don’t. Maybe it’s a choice. Maybe it’s something I can’t control. Who knows. I blame laziness, mostly, but I’d suppose that’s a bandaid on the entire situation. I’m probably just a coward for responsibility. Here’s the game, by the way: http://www.depressionquest.com/dqfinal.html

I guess I do have my moments where everything feels like it’ll turn around and I’ll have a completely new life and all that, but I don’t think I’ve ever followed through. Sure, I definitely can make things better, but sometimes things just don’t work out. 

Hope I can do what it takes, though- I’m really banking on the hope I can clean up my own mess and pick up my slack. Being able to make choices for myself I like, having the energy to accomplish simple tasks like doing my homework and agreeing to go out with my friends. It sounds so wonderful to live without this barrier. Please, please, please. God, I just need this one wish. I’d absolutely love to live with energy and the ability to go out and do what I want to, what’s good for me- God, please, I’m sorry I didn’t have faith, I just need this one thing. Please help me out, please listen to my prayers now. I’m sorry. I really want to live without this.

A haiku I wrote

Ring, ring, [click] hello?

Shoot, I better go catch it

Refrigerator

☆♡Dreams Come True♡☆

After years of living in a cluttered nest, I finally took the time to completely clean and redecorate my room this past spring break.

I'm on my final homestretch now—three months left until graduation! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but time waits for no man.

Adulthood, here I come!

My friends are big fans of BABYMETAL, and plan to go to a concert in the summer. I'm not really a concert person, but I do appreciate the crowds of fashionable people they bring about. I wish I had that courage.

Good luck on ur examn !! 🙏

Thank you!!! Once this is all over, I can finally hole up in my room and play games forever...

Any recommendations on fun hobbies/things to do during the break? I want to start filling out my days so they don't blend together as much... (ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ｡⁠;) Hopefully...

Small town syndrome in a big, big, city?

My grandma dropped something off for me to eat, she kept asking me questions about my sister. Everyone's proud of my sister- and for good reason, I guess. She always wears nice clothes, keeps all her grades in the 98s or so, and wins a ton of RG competitions.

It feels even worse eating fast food now, thinking of what I could have been. What an extraordinary family, with such a failure slapped into it. I need an escape from this life, I think.

It feels a lot like the 'small town syndrome' that people who live far from big cities and stores get, the feeling of "I need to get out of here".

Thank goodness it's spring break, though- now I have time to clean myself up from all this garbage I've surrounded myself with.

I really hope I can- I'll pack together all the motivation and energy I have left into this one project.

[QUEST COMPLETE!]

Eat delicious food to ease the ache of life.

Was it worth it?

+ 0 EXP

+ 0.5 KG

- $17.99

The plants by my windowsill, named Mari and Twoey. Hopefully the recent warm weather is nicer for them.