Cainisss - 😔

(25/12/2021) 04/01/2022 - 10 days after last time hugged her

Still can’t stop thinking about you… i miss you….

I’ll let you in on a secret.

It’s exhausting to be this kind and caring.

It’s exhausting to always go out of your way for other people.

It’s tiring to always be the one who makes sure that others are doing okay.

It’s hard to be everyone’s shoulder to cry on.

It’s mentally draining to listen to everyone’s problems and hearing the same stories over and over again.

But it’s not exhausting because I’m faking to be kind and caring.

It’s exhausting because no one ever thinks that maybe I, for once, need to be the one who feels cared for.

It’s tiring because no one ever feels the need to go out of their way for me.

It’s hard because no one feels like they need to make sure I’m okay, because they simply assume that I must be fine seeing as I’m handling other people’s problems so well.

It’s exhausting because my soul needs healing too sometimes, and it seems there is no one who wants to provide some love. It’s as though they don’t see that I, too, struggle with life and its ups and downs.

Maybe it’s my fault though? Maybe I am painting a picture of a perfect life? I may not be faking my kindness and caring nature but maybe I am faking how much I really have it all together?

But I quite like the illusion of having it all together. Do you see the problem?

- e.s. // secrets.

(25/12/2021) 30/12/2021 - 5 days after last hugged her

Still can’t stop thinking about her. Everywhere i go, mesti teringat. Pergi makan, shopping, lepak ke… Sedihnyaaaa… I miss you my love ….

Why did you do this to me 😭😭😭

Venus, Moon and Jupiter

Credit: Sylvio Müller

““What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her.” - John Green. The Fault in Our Stars”

— (via thepersonalwords)