“We Build Too Many Walls And Not Enough Bridges.”

““Remember this …I moved the earth and the water for you.” - Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless”

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Gate of Al-Masjid an-Nabawi

Why did you do this to me 😭😭😭

Pray for those you love who are far away from you, either in distance or in your hearts.

This new year sucks. Knowing that you will be out with another guy. I know he’s a lot like me, muka dia cara dia type style dia even course degree pun sama. I hope you will be happy with him. Ofcourse i feel jealous that he gets your full attention even he treats you bare minimum. There’s nothing i can do, you like him you want him and not me anymore. Im sorry, ive done everything i could to make you stay even begging you to stay. But all you ever said, we will never made it, you don’t love me anymore, you don’t want me anymore. It hurts that you made up excuses to push me away, to break my spirit down for loving you but you know no matter what i always forgive and love you back hard. You didn’t see how much i love you. You didn’t know how much i fall for you everytime we meet. But all that are just me. It’s one sided love. Im sorry i had to block you. I had to. Because you know i will always stalk you everytime i hold my phone. It’s already new year now. But still im the same me that crave for your love and attention. I love you so much. Ive been missing to hear your voice, your laugh, your smile, your annoyed face, your touch, your warm hug and everything about you i miss it. I hope you are fine, happy and always get what you want. Takecare nfmk…

I’ll let you in on a secret.

It’s exhausting to be this kind and caring.

It’s exhausting to always go out of your way for other people.

It’s tiring to always be the one who makes sure that others are doing okay.

It’s hard to be everyone’s shoulder to cry on.

It’s mentally draining to listen to everyone’s problems and hearing the same stories over and over again.

But it’s not exhausting because I’m faking to be kind and caring.

It’s exhausting because no one ever thinks that maybe I, for once, need to be the one who feels cared for.

It’s tiring because no one ever feels the need to go out of their way for me.

It’s hard because no one feels like they need to make sure I’m okay, because they simply assume that I must be fine seeing as I’m handling other people’s problems so well.

It’s exhausting because my soul needs healing too sometimes, and it seems there is no one who wants to provide some love. It’s as though they don’t see that I, too, struggle with life and its ups and downs.

Maybe it’s my fault though? Maybe I am painting a picture of a perfect life? I may not be faking my kindness and caring nature but maybe I am faking how much I really have it all together?

But I quite like the illusion of having it all together. Do you see the problem?

- e.s. // secrets.

Masjid al-Haram

Source: thequietshygirl, via IslamicArtDB