AFTG Headcanons (Pt.4)

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Things That Never Happened in History Class

1.  Professor Gadling's History 101

"... and so you see, Nan Boleyn was no 'femme fatale' homewrecking the happy Tudor household and leading the 'good' King Henry astray..."

There were snickers in the room.

"... though it makes for some pretty good stories, aye?  Always love me a good bodice-ripper or that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers on the telly.  He's a dish, that one."  Professor Gadling leaned a bit forward, a naughty gleam in his eyes.  "Though, the real King Henry was a looker when he was younger.  Looked a bit like our Prince Harry, now that I think about it."  

More laughter.  Which was typical in Professor Gadling's classes.  Iggy Pop - really, that was his name and yes, his parents loved him dearly - said, "Like, the dude's got a way with bringing all that historical stuff to life.  Like he was totally there.  Totally awesome, dude."

Iggy also had some of the best grades in the class, California surfer animated Pixar turtle accent and all.  But the observation was accurate.  

And it was also one of the reasons why Professor Gadling's history classes were booked solid every semester.

2.  Nevermore

Sometimes, there was a raven on Professor Gadling's shoulder.  

The first time he appeared, he was perched all nice and comfy on the professor's shoulder, looking as calm as you please, fixing the class with his beady black clever eyes.  

The Professor sighed.  "No, he's not me familiar.  He's babysitting."

"You mean, YOU'RE babysitting him, right, Professor?"

The raven squawked in protest.  Professor Gadling rolled his eyes.  "He's the one doing the babysitting.  I try not to pick arguments with ravens, you see.  Terribly bad idea."

"Nevermore," said the raven clearly and drolly.  

The class eventually learned the raven's name was Matthew.

3.  There can be only one

There was a persistent rumor that someone once confronted Professor Gadling with an honest-to-God actual sword.  

It happened in that secluded alleyway created by the old library and the faculty building, or so the story went.  

The Professor, in atypical fashion, went, "Nope."

"There can be only one!" declared the sword-wielder, raising his weapon.

"Nope, I'm NOT that kind of immortal.  You don't get to take my head, there's not going to be any ruddy lightning quick-thing whatever it is you lot call it.  I'm not the droid you're looking for.  Go off with you."

Apparently, Matthew the Raven helped drive whoever it was away - aside from the fact that the Professor was actually pretty good in a fight.  

"Ugh, Pierson owes me THREE pints for this!"

4.    Shakespeare In Love

There was a rule that got passed down from class to class.  

For sheer unadulterated entertainment, get Professor Gadling to rant about William Shakespeare.  Oh, he wasn't one of those who posited that the Bard never wrote his plays.  Far from it.  

He just absolutely had Very Specific Opinions about the man.  And they were Loud, Pointed and absolutely Hilarious.  

This was also good for distracting the Professor long enough to get out of any last minute homework or suprise quizzes.  There was hell to pay during the next class, but it was well worth it.  

"You are too harsh on dear William, sir," said the snow-pale young man in black, with the messy, rumpled hair.  

The class wasn't sure how he suddenly appeared in their midst, although it felt like he'd always been there.  He looked perfectly grave, absolutely serious... except for the glint of mischief in his odd dark blue eyes.

The professor crossed his arms over his chest, looking sourly at him.  "He was a ruddy hack.  Got a bit lucky, I'd say."

The pale young man smiled faintly.  "He had a true gift that just needed a little bit of nudging."

A scoff.  "Sure.  Exchanged his soul for artistic immortality, Faustian bargains, deals with the Devil."

"No."  The smile was still there and it was mesmerizing to see, as if this wasn't a man given much to that expression.  "Just two plays, commissioned to order.  What need have I for men's souls?"

"Hmph."

"Jealousy does not become you, Hob Gadling."

"Oi!"

"Uh... Professor, should we leave you two alone now?  Like, this whole lover's quarrel UST thing you've got going is kinda cute, but we really don't wanna be around for the kiss-and-make-up part!"

Of course, it was Iggy Pop who just had to ruin what seemed to be the most interesting moment that had happened so far in Professor Gadling's history classes.  

Someone raised a hand.  "I don't mind being around for the kiss-and-make-up part!"

The class would later learn that the young man's name was apparently "Murphy."  

He was also Matthew's "boss."  

Any kissing and making up supposedly took place at that New Inn down the road, which also served, among other things, a delicious shepherd's pie.

- end -

NOTE: Yes, I did a Highlander reference. I couldn't resist.

Art Prints

Wallflower Ghost on Etsy

When William Shakespeare said, "Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it," and, "These violent delights have violent ends and in their triump die, like fire and powder which, as they kiss, consume."

[This is not in any way critical towards Maggie’s occasional inconsistency. I‘ve got full sympathy for a messy mind and no patience for fans attacking her for it. It is what it is, I love this series just as much even with the knowledge that Gansey doesn’t know Adam’s birthday.]

Professor Hob with Cat Dream on a zoom class

I've rewatched man from uncle and maaaan it's still one of the best movies I've ever seen it's great the soundtrack is great the storytelling is great the dialogue is great the cinematography is great the fake relationship is great because who doesn't want to see that big unstable russian fall in love with that small quirky german also don't get me started on that unfinished kiss

the clock: hits 2 am

gays logging onto tumglr to post abt tenderness tenderness yearning hands fingertips touching the insides of wrists the soft skin on the inside of a lover’s left elbow:

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.