Listen I Know I Haven't Posted Anything About Lancelot In A Good While But HEAR ME OUT. Lancelot, The

Unfortunately this is a rant because I don't have anyone to turn to when this happens.

My mother is not a crazy woman or often abusive, she's controlling but nothing much futher beyond that, but some times she has crises and it's always with me.

I always keep my bedroom door closed for my own safety, because I don't feel safe enough in my own home to keep it open. This wouldn't be a problem if my mother didn't blow up at me. She often yells and bangs on the door really hard when she's mad at me, and that's a huge problem.

Today she needed my documents to register for something, I listened to her the first few times, but I tried to ignore her so she would go away. She didn't leave. She banged harder on the door and screamed louder, and yelled threats at me. Saying he was going to break down the door and hit me.

I tried to ignore it again, but the screaming and banging were so loud that I cowered in my bed and covered my ears with my hands. I literally shook and cried with fear. I was so scared that I couldn't get out of bed to get the damn documents.

I contacted my friend so that I would have someone with me and know what happened to me if the worst case scenario happened. I really panicked, to the point of wanting to talk to God or the gods, but then I remembered that I didn't worship the gods and that I had angry towards Christian god. Nothing really big, but it's a moral of mine that I shouldn't benefit or contact god or gods only when it suits me. So I felt trapped in my own hole.

At some point I managed to gather enough strength to go to the drawer and get the documents to slip them under the door. It was torture. I was breathing heavily and panting with tears streaming down my face and my body was very weak. I had to crawl all the way to the end to pass the documents. My room is not big, less than ten square meters probably. That's how much fear affected me. Fear of my own mother.

I've stopped shaking and crying, I'm no longer in a state of panic, but my mind is still stuck in a state of alert. Every time I hear footsteps coming from the stairs I freeze, thinking it might be my mother and that I'll be greeted with more screams and threats. My heart is still tight and every movement I hear it leaves me on full alert, especially her voice.

Her voice makes me panic and want to cry again. It doesn't matter if it's directed at me or not.

Do you have any idea what it's like for a person to fear their own mother's voice? The person who should love and protect them, leaves them trembling and cowering, afraid of just her signal. As if the just air she breathed were thorns in your lungs... This is worrying. And what's more worrying is knowing that you don't have anyone in your family or outside to trust to be with you at these times. Because that role should belong to your mother. But she failed to fulfill the minimum of that role.

I wish this was just another whump in disguise, but no, this is a real occurrence of mine.

12/26/2024

I did dance headcanon and i am absolutely happy about it.

Yes you didn't read wrong. I was peacefully doing a ballerina drawn during one of my classes, and i remember that ballet dance was patented by the french. More specifically Louis XIV. And it's okay that ballet actually originated in Italy, but I'll politely leave that in the corner. With all due respect.

there is the unfinished drawning if you're interested:

Now, who else is french? Exacly. Lancelot du Lac. But i didn't wanted to do a cultural dance for Lancelot and the Ashfolk and leave Gawain, Squirrel, Pym, Nimue and the Skyfolk aside. They're a big, dysfunctional, but happy, family. So i decided to make a cultural dance for both of them and i'm going to explain why in this post. Which probably will be quite long.

The ashfolk and Ballet.

As i have said before, i know that ballet is not originally french, but italic. If you didn't know about this before, yes, ballet origins are italic. The dance came to France when Catherine de Medici married whit the King Henry II of France. but it was only patented by Louis XIV, the Sun King, years later, and it became popular among high society.

And i do know france have a lot more of cultural dances like: Cancan, quadrilha, gavotte, minuet and more. But reading each of them to try to fit it and not be stuck in the stereotype, i realized that, no, none of them actually mached whit Lancelot personality. And not just Lancelot. His family was incribably cristhian in the legends, and strict too, so the other dances didn't fit what i was looking for. So that's why i chosed ballet as the ashfolk cultural dance.

Lancelot/The Ashfolk and Ballet.

Now, when i talk about Lancelot in the weeping monk adaptation, the first thinga that came to my mind are his past abuse and his melancholy. Obviously how absolutely pretty he is too, but that's not the point. And whit the past abuse and scenes like: When Carden slaps him in the face because he asked for mercy for Squirrel; We see how he is constantly expected and forced to be rigid and up to standard one hundred percent of the time. Which, depending on which perid we see, matches whit how ballerinas were treated.

Most people from outside see the ballet houses - As we call from where i'm from - by the pictures and shows, but also by those overexaggerated pictures from internet where we see the ballerinas's foot and bodys badly hurted by the sneakers and the injuries caused. And a lot of people believe that ballet is like dance moms, I don't know if that's the correct name of the show, but that actually doesn't happen. I'm not saying it never happens, but it's not how you see or think. It's not just delicacy and elegance, but it's also not just demands and frequent pressure. As a former child dancer, I know that there is a lot of pressure on dancers, even children, and depending on which house you're from, you can end up having an abusive house where you are excessively demanded and overstandard.

Having explained that. Ballet is an elegant and graceful dance, but it takes time, strength and a lot of dedication. And of course, with many expectations about perfection and rigid routines and trains. Which matches Lancelot's personality perfectly. "Perfect" steps with elegance and lots of training and effort. The difference is that if Lancelot had had a ballet house, he would have ended up in an abusive one with obvious problems but which no one dares to comment on.

Lancelot doesn't talk much in the show or in the legends, and the ballet is not a play with words, but rather one where a story is told through music and movement, which is perfect for our darling who barely speaks.

Ballerinas at first don't wear pointe shoes, their feet were flat on the floor like in any other dance, but over time it was added to make the ballerinas look bigger and elegant, and Lancelot also fits into this, along with most French people.

Ballerinas' bodies are thin and yet very strong, and by the looks of Lancelot's as well. You can't look at my face and say that that man eats three meals a day healthily, that's a lie that not even the devil can forgive.

Ballet is known mainly for its elegant jumps, endless pirouettes and, as my little sister calls it and I think it's incredibly cute, "kicks in the air" - which would be the splits and opening the legs in pirouettes. Lancelot has a similar fighting style, with lots of kicks, somersaults and spins. What I particularly like to think of as an adaptation of his cultural dance to a fight. so he has at least something from home nearby every day, even if not in the best way.

Ballet pieces were formerly known for paying homage to Greek myths, love, nature and life. Which refers to the fey nature and how Lancelot became known for his love for Guinevere in the legends.

Everything mentioned is a way of explaining why Lancelot suits ballet better than the other dances I studied, even if I tried to avoid stating the obvious.

The ashfolk and ballet culture

Now listen to me carefully. Yes, bale is a very delicate dance that needs rehearsals and that wouldn't make sense in something like: Simple dance at a cultural celebration because the music was nice. But this can get solved.

For this type of occasion, I like to think that the relaxed ballet dance on lighter cultural occasions where they simply want to dance, could be in the style of Marianela Nuñez's dance in Don Quixote in 2013 in the first act, just more relaxed and with more improvised movements.

Their clothes would also be less elegant and more focused on comfort due to heightened senses. And of course, because they have a type of connection with fire, the clothes would be vibrant and with more handmade details attached to the clothes.

But when it was for the plays and presentatios they would use what we usually see in the ballet shows, but more adapted to their time and conditions.

Lancelot and ballet presentations i see him doing

Lancelot in the weeping monk have this melancholy attached to him. When you talk about the weeping monk the fist thing you'll say about him is: "He's depressed." And there is just so much presentations knowed for their melancholy and saddnes and death as their signature mark too! The most famous is Swan Lake, but i can also see him doing ballet plays like: Giselle, Sylvia and The Corsair, etc.

He would totaly do the black swan and you won't convince me the contrary; The act two of Giselle is totally him; I won't mention Corsair and Sylvia cause i cannot put into words what i'm feeling about both plays righ now, i'm still in the overcoming phase, but if you waavth it you'll get what i'm saying.

Scene time!

Squirrel was eagerly telling Lancelot about the cholheita ritual they would do next spring, telling him every detail about their dance and how Nimue, Pym and Gawain were excited about it and how incredible they would look prancing the gods in their traditional clothes.

The little one spoke like a rattlesnake without stopping to breathe, and Lancelot, as always, listened to everything without any problems with the one-sided conversation. At one point in the conversation, Squirrel changes the topic to how he would love to see other spring celebrations and other people's dances. And then came the inevitable question:

"Hey, what's your cultural dance? Do you dance?" Squirrel asks looking at him with those big curious eyes.

Lancelot wanted nothing more than to rigidly deny and end what he knew was coming in the bud, but the boy spoke so eagerly and with so much enthusiasm about the subject that he didn't have the heart to lie to him at that moment. He sighs and accepting his fate for the next few hours, responds. "Yes. In my village we danced ballet. I danced my share of times while I could."

"Ballet? like that delicate and elegant dance that makes you stretch to the maximum, full of jumps and things like that?" He asks with those eager eyes and fingers clenching in anticipation.

"Yes, that same one. I was a ballerina."

"That's so cool! You not only dance, you dance ballet!" Squirrel speaks excitedly, almost jumping from where he was sitting. Excitement was written everywhere on his body. "Oh oh, can you do that thing where you stretch your leg up there?! eh.. I forgot the name, but you know what it is."

Lancelot smiles at the boy's imminent excitement, almost enough to smell it. This was going to be a long evening.

Additions.

I thought about talking about the cultural dance I chose for the skyfolk too, but this post is already too far away so I'll leave it for another post. The dance is not very well known, but you will agree with me when you read the next post.

If you've read this far, congratulations, you're a champion. Thank you for your time and patience.

@lancedoncrimsonwings

it's official, i don't how to start a chapter anymore. Like, why is writing so difficult? Why can't my ideas and thoughts just write themselves on my computer? WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE THEM?!?! THEY WERE THE ONES WHO APPERED WITHOUT ASKING! Ugh

First of all, thanks for the tag @lancedoncrimsonwings! So this is a bunny plot I've been having for a long time, so it's time to put it on paper! But this will need a little context first.

France were considered a Latin country because of its language, nowadays it is no longer, but what does that mean? I looked for old French and the religion before Christianity, and discovered that they have heritage from three peoples: Celtic (Gauls), Germanic (Franks), and Latin (Romans). So that gives me three options for ancient religions for Lancelot: Celtic mythology (which would be the same as Gawain), Germanic/Norse mythology, and Greco-Roman mythology. But let's be honest, I really want to mix 'em and make the ash folk worship Hestia, Vesta in Roman, goddess of primordial and sacred fire; Belive that it's okay to die in battle because he'll go to Valhalla if that happens; And that he should be careful with nature at all costs because this is a manifestation of the gods. Gawain have Celtic mythology as his religion and worships many gods, but most importantly he worships Dune, as with all fey folks, because she is the mother Goddess of Celtic mythology.

Having explained that, what follows may be short and is much lighter than what I usually write.

It took some time for Lancelot to get used to the lack of restrictions of religion, or to the fact that he had no religion at all now. He became bored with everyday life very quickly now that he didn't have the christianity routine to follow. Finding himself sleeping without even being tired during the day quite oftenly, eating without praying first anymore, and willingly not fasting on sundays or doing frequent prayers.

He missed talking to God when he needed to, he never responded, but it was good to talk and let everything out. Deceiving himself that he was listening hurt, but it was also the only time he could let it out and allow himself to feel.

The months passed and they managed to settle in an abandoned place, they called it New Nemos, a very uncreative name for a place with so many heads. He still shared the house with Gawain and Squirrel, but something was out of place. Lancelot felt strange every time he passed through the entrance or the small living room, something had been bothering him since they arrived, and they had only been here for three days.

He felt a dull discomfort throughout his body and in his heart, a tightness in his throat that made him frown. He didn't realize what it was until he sat down to read and try to forget and accommodate, it was only then that something came to him. A smell of smoke, but there was no fire anywhere in the house, he checked- oh… It's only then that his brain ring the bells.

Lancelot was no longer a christian, but before he was forced into christianity, he and his folk worshiped Vesta, the goddess of fire, and it was tradition to light a sacred fire in the hearth whenever they moved or built something new as a symbol of the goddess and her protection. The discomfort he felt and the smell of smoke was Vestia asking him to light the hearth  like he used to do before.

Lancelot goes to the hearth and lights it with fey fire that he made from his own bare hands. "Better now?" He asks, looking at the hearth, and an almost imperceptible smile appears at the corner of his lips, his marks turn bright red, his eyes shine slightly when he sees the fire move and sway upwards, as if it were smiling and talking to him.

Maybe Vesta wanted him back. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. His heart fills and the discomfort disappears, a sigh leaving his nostrils. Perhaps his gods still considered him their child.

Headcanon that Isaac has chronic pain from his fucked up childhood, but doesn't know it because he was usually injured enough to chalk the constant ache in his joints up to being crammed in a freezer long after puberty made him too tall to fit (which is partially true).

The bite isn't actually a cure, it just boosts the healing factor of bitten wolves so high that they appear cured, which is why Erica has a seizure when the kanima scratches her in the library; she still has epilepsy. Derek isn't lying when he tells them it will fix them, he just doesn't know he's wrong. It's not supposed to cure Isaac's claustrophobia or PTSD, but something like fibromyalgia is a neurological disorder, which is what epilepsy is.

Think about the ice bath scenes. When Isaac gets in the ice bath to remember when Erica and Boyd are, it isn't even supposed to be a method that can kill him, but it still makes him out of commission when Scott and Derek break into the bank. Later, when Scott, Stiles, and Allison sacrifice themselves to find their parents, the ice bath solution is not only more dangerous, but they stay in the water for 16 hours, far longer than Isaac did, and they still have the ability to jump straight into action finding the Nemeton. Sure, Scott is essentially already a True Alpha, but Stiles and Allison? Just humans. So why was it so hard for Isaac to recover?

I think it's because the ice bath put Isaac so close to the edge that his healing factor slowed (the claustrophobia of being underwater coupled with taking a kid who used to get locked in a freezer and asking him to voluntarily get into a freezing cold metal tub to access painful memories, all of which is before the actual risk of the ritual that Deaton doesn't even want to describe to him) and it brought all that latent chronic pain to the surface. If you have chronic pain, you know how much more it hurts when you're freezing cold. Even when he meets them to look for Boyd and Cora, he shows up wearing the scarf and a coat because he's still not 100%.

When Isaac gets electrocuted and takes ages to heal from the burns in the hospital in 3B, Scott tries to take his pain and is startled by how much pain Isaac is in. In that scene, Isaac's wolf healing is basically working overtime just to keep him alive, so the pain from the burns (internal and external) isn't the only thing Scott finds.

we’re so back w more arthuriana shitposts!!

lancelot

gawain

kay

morgan

galahad

dinadan

agravaine

mordred

arthur

guinevere

They're so gay and sad. I loved It❤️

Hug, beauty and blood

Ok so "hug" is from Chapter 2 cause I struggled to find better than a bulletpoint in my WIPs with it in but yess I love these thank you!

Hug;

The boy hesitantly moved closer, then before Lancelot could say anything else, Squirrel hugged him. Lancelot bit down on a pained yelp, the embrace sending another incredibly sharp surge of torment through his side that made sweat bead up again on his brow, his vision swum and it took more than he cared to admit to stop himself from whimpering. He almost forgot to feel shocked the agony was so intense.

Beauty;

Lancelot's breath was coming in gasps. Gawain realised he too was panting, and he glanced out for just a moment to see they were towards the edge of the dance, but closer to the Bard, who eyed them both with those silver-blue eyes as he continued to sing;

"Where you see weakness, I see wit, Sometimes I fall to pieces, Just to see what bits of me don't fit,"

The piercing stare was too much, too invasive, Gawain turned quickly back to Lancelot. He drunk in the beauty before him.

"... And when I stand, oh, those folks will run, And tell their tales of what I've become..."

And by the Gods, Lancelot was truly beautiful. A man, a Fey, a gentle soul with a tender heart and a battle hardened warrior all at once. His colour swirling skin shone slick with sweat, supple muscles rippling as he moved and swayed with the enticing grace of a deadly predator, jaw tensed, chest heaving ragged breaths.

Blood;

Blood dripped steadily from Lancelot's fingertips. Oozing slowly from the carving upon his left shoulder, it traced rivers of crimson down his arm before collecting between the iron shackle and his skin. So severe were the iron burns, and so close was the metal to his sore, abraised skin that the blood now pooled up and over the outside of the cuff like an overflowing dam. It offered his burned wrist a modicum of relief. Scarlet glistened in the low light as it invariably flowed down down down, following the swell of his knuckles and the length of his fingers to splash into a coagulating puddle on the floor, steadily staining the cold ashen stone into a dirty red.

Okay then, this is the drawing I did as a test for the Weeping monk's face. The drawing isn't that good because I'm not very good at drawing faces and also because it's a test drawing so I wasn't that worried about how well it would turn out or not.

The proportions are wrong; the eyes are the wrong shape and have no pupils, and the tears are worse; the mouth looks weird; I don't like the beard; he's bald; It's definitely one of the drafts I liked the least, but I'll let it go because I did it at dawn surviving on coffee.