I Just Watched Smile And Idk Gonna Throw My Thoughts In I Guess It Definitely Could’ve Been Better,
i just watched smile and idk gonna throw my thoughts in i guess it definitely could’ve been better, the ending makes the entire movie even bleaker than it began as
i feel like her career as a therapist is supposed to be a huge commentary on the healthcare system. like i interpreted it as written by someone who wanted to be/was a therapist or hates therapists, because rose’s breakdown highlights her criticism of her own mental health so much, down to her telling holly she was fine right after she saw someone die. like she continually denies herself any relief but is also denied any relief by pretty much anyone. so like i fucking hate how bleak it is but i think it’s just supposed to reflect that trauma not only is generational, and complex/connected etc., but that so many people are not only underprepared to deal w trauma but also unwilling
like rose opens up at the end but she focuses on her feeling with joel, and she was burnt out when the movie began. idk i’m rambling at this point, especially because i don’t like how it ends but i’m desperately trying to understand the point bc why not idk
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i wrote a poem. this is the first time i have posted anything like this so any and all feedback is appreciated, even if you don’t think it’s worth it i would love it. this is just straight from pen to paper in like 10 minutes so it won’t be a masterpiece, but if you see this please let me know what you think.
my mind’s gone mad.
did you notice?
gone by whispers
like soft smoke (tendrils).
my mind went mad.
I did not notice (did you?)
I mourn the normalcy
I never had.
my mind was mad.
for so long (clouded over)
did you notice?
my mind’s gone mad.
the clouds are gone
but my loss remains.
have you noticed?
as an eldest sibling i am mortified it has taken me almost a decade to see mycroft in this light im gonna go cry now
My aunt: But how can you like Mycroft? He's unpleasant and he always makes messes and he is so full of himself-
Me, on the verge of tears: IT'S ABOUT THE KIN, IT'S ABOUT THE MAKING IT ON HIS OWN, IT'S ABOUT THE INDEPENDENCY, IT'S ABOUT THE LONELINESS, IT'S ABOUT KEEPING THE FAMILY TOGETHER, IT'S ABOUT ABSORBING THE BLOWS OF EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE FAMILY MEMBERS, IT'S ABOUT THE SELF HATRED, IT'S ABOUT BEING THE ONE YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT, IT'S ABOUT KEEPING SECRETS, IT'S ABOUT SURVIVING WHEN YOUR FAMILY IS GOING DOWN-
the world is getting so ugly and bleak and it’s hard not to feel so hopeless. but we have to remember that they want us to feel that way.
it reminds me of this quote by dan savage - “During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night, and it was the dance that kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for.”
joy is resistance. it’s really scary times but we are all in this together.
"New Folderr"
if you could have a new folder on your computer what would you put in it? ?
the best part abt having a good work ethic but hating capitalism is that while i’m forced to work at a shitty blue and red pizza place i get to look at my managers who are unable to chastise me for being out of dress code and showing up whenever every day bc i do too much for them to fire me. checkmate bitch
say what you will about the reserve bank of india these are some cracking coins
gonna keep streaming first kill thru pride month bc if this show gets cancelled i will riot this is everything i’ve been waiting for
