Guys… I Think My Vagina Is Gonna Collapse And Fall Out If I’m Not Sitting On His Dick 24/7

"omg they are so attractive😍😍"

The they in question:

I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME. the people need to be exposed to abba. the world would be healed i swear it. play chiquitita once and everyone would be living in harmony

Dnd character idea.

An isekaid bard. Someone from our modern world who ends up wrapped up in a medieval fantasy realm and instead of using a weapon they just use thaumaturgy to amplify the music from their phone (that they keep charged with tiny electric shocks every now and then)

Cue a peasant getting their head exploded by dubstep.

heard porn bots might be following you guys again. sorry about that. but in some good news i have been gaining many new followers who are real stunningly beautiful women. welcome ladies :)

been repeating this in my head all day

not just ‘he would not fucking say that’ but ‘he would not, under torture, admit that’

Cowboys kissing. you agree. reblog

i actually love the idea of them being a package deal because it makes so much sense to me, more than many of the other common duos from this game tbh lolol

contents: solomon x gn!reader x asmodeus, nsfw (+18), pretty suggestive but nothing happens, kissing, fluff, pet names (love, darling)

you run your fingers over solomon’s pact marks, tracing the elaborate symbols, and you revel in the way solomon slightly shudders under you as your gentle fingertips run up his bicep, nearing his shoulder.

with you straddling him in his bed, you can easily get a perfect look at his bare chest, and the sight is a marvel in itself.

his entire chest, along with the majority of his arms and legs, are littered with pact marks, and there’s barely any space left. you know his back is as well, though you can’t see it right now. some are bigger than others, some are more clear than others. they all have some kind of symbol special to the demon he’s tied to. usually, the demon picks the placement, often based on where they prefer it to be. the other pact partner doesn’t have much say in this, as it’s highly intimate to the individual demon.

you know this from the way mammon’s mark sits proudly on your collarbone, and is practically impossible to hide with the way it’s always peaking out of your shirts. likewise, beelzebub’s sits on the side of your stomach, and belphegor’s is hidden on your lower back. all of the brothers have chosen a place special to them, which often reflects their sin, whether they’re aware of it or not.

you assume most of solomon’s pact partners didn’t really have a choice. eventually, they just had to put their mark wherever there was space.

“which one is barbatos?” you ask, and solomon’s hand guides you to the spot behind his ear. you grab his chin and solomon lets you move his head to the side. it’s small and elegant, and you barely notice it because of his hair. “it’s pretty,” you mutter, and solomon smiles. you lean down and press a small kiss on it.

“he said he put it there to remind me to use my head,” he says, and you snort. solomon playfully frowns, and you coo at him. “sorry, didn’t mean to laugh. that’s very reasonable of him, though,” you respond. you’re right above him now, and you press a short peck to his lips this time.

you trace your fingertips down to his neck again, and then right over his heart, smiling at the familiar pact mark. it doesn’t surprise you that asmodeus would place his pact mark there, claiming solomon’s heart as his own.

you lean down to kiss the pact mark once, then twice. you feel a small tingle on the inside of your thigh, where your matching mark is, and you glance up at solomon’s reaction. he looks back with lidded eyes and flashes you a small smile. you kiss the pactmark again, wondering if asmo can feel it as well.

slowly, you lick a stripe up it, and solomon moans, causing your stomach to flutter. it seems that he's extra sensitive there, and you make a mental note to use that to your advantage some more. your inner thigh burns pleasantly, and you can feel arousal clouding your thoughts. you grin and move down further, trailing kisses on his stomach along the way.

“you’re so pretty when you’re underneath me,” you murmur, and solomon laughs lightly. you frown at him. “i’m not being funny,” you say, and he shakes his head.

“i know, i’m sorry, love. thank you,” he replies, and you hum, satisfied with his answer.

you settle between solomon’s legs as you reach his boxers, and you play with the hem slightly. you can already see his heavy bulge creating a tent as well as a small patch of precum forming around the tip, and the sight makes you smile.

“sol, you’re already this worked up for me?” you ask, and you rest your head on his thigh, while tracing patterns on his other thigh with your fingers. solomon moves a hand down and runs his fingers through your hair. “of course i am,” he says, bringing you closer to where he really wants you. “how could i not be when i have my pretty apprentice’s hands all over me?”

you’re about to reach into his boxers to free his aching length when a loud series of pings distracts you. you fumble around the sheets for a bit before finding your D.D.D., and a laugh leaves you when you see the messages.

solomon untangles his hand from your hair and props himself up on his elbows while raising a brow at you. “what is it? show me,” he asks, and you show him your phone with a giggle. his eyes run over the messages, and he lets out a groan, although the corners of his lips are turning upward.

from: asmo baby <3 you’re seriously getting it on without me??? you betray me, you have WOUNDED me, darling fuck you i’m coming over don’t do anything till i’m there horny bastards

OH MY GOD HOW PRECIOUS 😭

HEY guess who's being completely normal about episode 7 :)

anyway it sure ain't me, so I made myself a baby Malleus! I used the single-headed version of Choly Knight's hydra pattern (link will be in replies ↓↓↓) as a base, and just messed with some of the pieces to make him more Mall-y. including sewing all those little claw pieces, then pinning them on and realizing I actually liked him better without them...oh well. to heck with accuracy, I want stubby little dragon legs!

unfortunately, he doesn't photograph very well, especially his forehead scales (they're there! I promise!) (they're made of glitter HTV so they are actually SPARKLY in real life, yet apparently they come out completely invisible in photos, woe). but he is super cuddly and soft so I'm happy with him! just as in canon, he is a product of LOVE. :>

love the car of fay run

yes.