Rebecca Sugar Performing The Full Version Of ‘Change Your Mind’!

“The tragedy is not that we are alone, but that we cannot be. At times I would give anything in the world to no longer be connected by anything to this universe of men.”

— Albert Camus

i wish everything was quieter and softer and less often

you know how some parents do that toxic thing where they don’t notice or reward kids for improving their behavior, but every screw-up gets remarked upon and used to inflict shame? so you’re stuck in that awful cycle where there are no rewards, only the inevitability of eventual punishment?

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

Being part of the social justice culture or the “stay woke” culture, I usually thought that the main purposes were to:

1) Unlearn what was taught to you

2) Learn what was never taught to you

3) Educate those around you with the knowledge you have

“All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.” - Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go! (via the-book-diaries)

“What I love more than acting is being Josey’s mom. So I wanna be there for him and I don’t want to miss anything.”

— 1987-2020, Naya Rivera

I don’t agree that it’s inherently wrong to be angry or to hate someone. I agree that it can be damaging when misused or when it’s allowed to control you, instead of the other way around. I agree that, when we aren’t taught to manage our anger, it has the risk of becoming toxic or overpowering. The same can be said of other emotions (such as sadness). But that doesn’t make it automatically bad.

I believe that our motives are important, when it comes to anger, and that it’s important to ask ourselves

who is my anger harming?

am i harming myself with my anger?

is my anger directed unjustly? is it unhelpful to the situation?

am i allowing my anger to unduly influence my actions? will it lead me to behavior i will regret later?

is my anger making me unhappy?

and if, after weighing these questions, you make the judgement call that being angry is fine under the circumstances–go for it!

My theory is that we all have so many bad experiences w/ anger because we as a society are never taught to engage w/ it in a healthy way. there’s a lot of puritan cultural bullshit (in the u.s. at least) that ignores nuance and casts everything as either good or bad, sinful or sinless–never a shade of grey, never with stipulations. all sins are equally awful, and by fighting back against injustice we ourselves become unjust (which is, of course, nonsense). don’t rock the boat, even if the boat is sinking and we should be relocating to lifeboats. just let it be, or you’re just as bad as them. 

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