Me Waiting To Get Dicked Down By Stinky Slashers With Big Knives:

Some random terrified Brit: I have witnessed literally the most disturbing and horrifying thing ever. I saw a giant distorted shape crawl out of the shadows, oozing pus and staring at me with unblinking eyes all over its body, and it started spitting rotted teeth at me and then it began to slowly eat my skin and now I can’t sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see an apparition of this monster by my bedside ready to feast on my flesh again

Jonathan Sims, in a monotone voice: fucked up if true

One of Jon’s most lovable traits is the way he clings to his humanity and morals even as he becomes something distinctly not human, the way he continues to try his best against all odds. However, he also deserves to go fully apeshit as a treat, and Beholding monsters are sexy. Both of these truths can and should coexist.

mikaele really said no <3 

Just begun The Magnus Archives Season 2 and I've got something to say:

JONATHAN, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO POOR MARTIN?! HE'S JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOU PARANOID ADORABLE LITTLE ARCHIVIST.

Is it so difficult to believe that somebody cares about you, Jonathan? Is it? For the love of whatever type of eldritch being is listening to my rambling right now, I CARE ABOUT YOU AND I'VE LISTENED TO YOU TALKING FOR JUST ONE SEASON-

alex hirsch truly is like. the guy ever. he created one of if not the most renowned and successful disney tva shows. he clowns on said network. he won his high school’s bird calling contest. he hates trump and is always advocating for people to vote. also prank calls republican/maga hotlines and was on the washington post for such. he voices half the cast of his own show and does a deranged mickey mouse voice he uses for like two separate shows. he owns a giant taxidermy buffalo. he and his sister were on an international improv team in high school. disney censored practically all queer themes in his show and now he has a nyt best seller (and created the website plus recent interviews ect ect) that imply there was something going on between that fuck ass triangle and ford. a straight man creating good old man yaoi. creates the craziest rabbit holes to send the fandom down probably primarily fueled by adhd and coffee. he probably has his flannel sewn to his body atp and has thousands of sticky hands on the wall in his house. i could go on but he’s just truly such a interesting guy

"Um, Jonny...your D'Ville is showing."

RQGG 2017

47:40 - “Which elder god do you identify with the most?”

I just spent the entirety of episode 47 chanting to myself: "Michael, Michael, Michael"

And you know why?

For once the person giving the statement didn't describe the person (or entity masking themselves as person) being the source of their miseries as "short".

I get that short people are closer to satan, but as a certified monserfucker I'd like to see more tall eldritch monsters! Please!

(Even if I do have the feeling that I'll probably regret having wished this very soon)

Edit: OKAY I POSTED THIS BEFORE FINISHING THE EPISODE AND SINCE MICHAEL APPEARED I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO SAY I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED

The Magnus Archives continues to be a romantic comedy.