Happy Plagueiversary

Excelsis is probably my favorite off this album. THE WHOLE THING IS SO GOOD. IM GOINF FERAL

Linkin Park reference...

THIS THIS THIS.

ah yes i remembered the other thing i was thinking about after my second thunderbolts watch (spoilers)

this was more just me piecing things together, but

that whole final scene in the lab was spectacular. i like how the movie makes you believe that bob is fighting his depression and he is putting an effort into recovery by standing up to the void, but as he starts beating up the void, you see that he is losing control. he is beating himself, he is punching himself.

the void will always be a part of him, his mental illness with always be a part of him. so when he fights it, he’s fighting himself, he is hurting himself. all those hints of him thinking he makes everything worse, he’s letting it all out, he’s exploding (which is what happens when you ‘push it all down’ like yelena suggested), and i really relate to this. when he lost control, he started hurting himself. a lot of representation of mental illness shows people externalizing and hurting other people, but internalizing is very real too, when the person loses control and hurts themself. that’s what bob was doing

turns out, as he is ruthlessly punching the void, it’s only hurting him more. the darkness is spreading through him and overtaking him, showing that the whole action of shoving your pain down is dangerous, because it always bubbles up and comes out worse than it would have before. it ends up hurting more, it’s more dangerous and terrifying than it would have been. the more you feed into the darkness, the more it hurts you. that’s why bucky said “this isn’t right”, because bob is hurting himself, he isn’t healing. that’s also why yelena said “you’re giving him what he wants” because when you hurt yourself, you’re giving the depression what it wants, you’re feeding it. that’s why the void just kept smiling and laughing as bob hit him.

one of the main themes of this movie is basically it’s fucking hard, but you have to keep fighting, you have to keep fucking trying. so i like that the movie has you realize that bob fighting that dark and dangerous side of him only hurts him more. his mental illness is part of who he is, the goal is just to find a way where he isn’t defined by his illness, where he can find a way to live with it and still thrive. that’s an incredibly important message, that mental illness and disabilities are not necessarily something to be fought off, they are something you need to learn to accept and live with, because it’s a part of you.

DON'T SIDE WITH TERRI! I'M NOT A STRAGGOT!!!!!!!!

*clicks megaphone*

IT DOES NOT MAKE ME A STRAGGOT FOR WANTING TO DANCE TO THE MASOCHISM TANGO WITH TWO CERTAIN CHARACTERS PLAYED BY MUSICIAN NATHAN SHARP. (DIRECTED AT YOU, @terri-theslime13)

That's all.

TUMBLR STOP IT PLEASE WTF

OH GOD MY ASKS ARE SENDING ALL AT ONCE. OH NO.

NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?

IT HAS BEEN DONE, PEOPLE.

OH YN GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOF OHHH SWEET GOD IT HAPPENED OH MY GOD

I can never not make playlists for my OCs. It's like an unspoken law.

Hate that woman so much.

YOU hate JK Rowling!

HOLY SHIT THIS IS DEVASTATING

It's not fair, is it?

Here you have some WKM / DAMIEN stuff.

I also forgot how to draw digitally, hEH--

But for once my handwriting looks kinda okay. Normally when I try to write digitally, it just looks like a unreadable mess.

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