God Could Come Down And Show Himself To Us All, Show Us His Undeniable Glory And Power, And Leave No

I just went to sweet frogs and on the way and my family was discussing politics and how America may or may not survive these 4 years long enough to fix it back up. It had gotten me pretty down cuz it looked pretty grim when this happened:

Mom: Don't be so down, at least you're still here.

Me: Yeah, but for how long?

Mom: As long as Jesus says so.

The moment she said that, I felt so much better. I had forgotten who was in control. But knowing nothing can happen unless God let's it happen makes me feel sooo much better.

God works :)

I used to pray almost every week to God to kill me in my sleep. I used to get on my hands and knees on the top of my staircase and beg for death. I was maybe around 8 at the time. I wasn't even in middle school. Everyday I'd ake up and feel dissapointed. I'd lay in my bed a bit more cuz I didn't want to get up and llive another day. Can you imagine a child so young begging you to kill them? Can you imagine your child asking that? I used to go my life wanting to die everyday because I was depressed. I was bored. I was scared. I honestly didn't even want to die; I just didn't want to live. But now, I've changed. I don't wish for death but I'm not as scared as I used to be. I mean, I'm not inviting death to knock on my doors, but I have this thirst to be done with this life. I'm bored but only because I know this life pales in comparrison to what comes after. I'm bored because I just want nothing more than to run and hug Jesus physically and directly, in his face, say thank you over and over and over again. I can't imagine what he must've felt as his child, such a young one too, begged him to take her life only because she was too coward to do it herself. Also, I didn't mention that those were the only times I talked to God at all back then. God truly changed me. That isn't all, it truly isn't! I also have had this....situation where everyone around me felt different. At first I felt like the only normal person and everyone else was an NPC, but then I started to realize the only reason they looked like NPCs to me was because they all had some invisible thing or trait in common. I still to this day have no clue what it is, but It was something like this fundemental rule to being human. But I didn't have it. I had the body of a human, the brain of a human, the intelligence of a human...for the most part, but this thing, this thing I lacked. I copied different people constantly to try and figure out what it was but all I gained was an identity crisis. I panicked and cried for a while because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I always knew the people around me were different in a way I couldn't relate, but it all came together, or rather, fell apart when someone very close to me verbally told me something was wrong with me...multiple times. I've been speculated before that I could be on the spectrum. At first I was thought to have ADHD, both kinds. Then I was suspected to have Autism as well as sensory issues. I asked to be tested but still, it isn't really worth the time, money, and effort to others, so I am still unsure. Honestly I hoped this was the case because I'd finally have a reason as to why I'm this way and so that it'd prove nothing was wrong with me. Now, I still struggle a bit with this one simply because I truly want to just know myself. I have someone who understands me. In fact, He made me. And he doesn't make mistakes. I am no misfunction. There is nothing wrong with me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and only in christ did I figure that out. He is the only confromation I need. God changes people in ways you never would've guessed.

покажеш себя?

извините, но я не знаю, как говорить по-русски. Кроме того, я не знаю, правильно ли я понял, потому что во время этого общения я использовал Google Translate для чтения и письма, но вы просите меня показать мою настоящую фотографию? В этом случае ответ будет отрицательным.

Wolfram: *Drowns in a sandpit while wrestling an 80 pound bear*

Conrad, also known as Wolfram's big brother: "He'll be ok if he's lucky"

Yuuri: *Faints for the 100th time this season because he used a bit too much power*

Conrad: OH MY GOODNESS, YUURI ARE YOU OK?! CALL THE ROYAL MEDICS!!!

-

Wolfram: *Is being strangled by a bunch of powerful water dragons*

Everyone else: "How fascinating!"

Yuuri: *Finishes strangling Wolfram and passes out cuz he's sleepy*

Everyone else: *Literal Panic*

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I really don't know much about what to think regarding the war except I don't like it. It started because of violence on one side and is continued by violence by the other. Uninvolved people have been hurt and people killed when they had nothing to do with the attacks. Many people have come to ask for help, but they're very hard to distinguish from scammers because there are people who take advantage of their situation and fake a donation account. It is so unfair because the people who need help can't get it because it' going to scammers and people no longer trust them. I have to check every inch and cranny of an account to make sure I'm not sharing a scam to people. I don't know for sure if this is real or not, so please if you're considering donating, check it yourself and make sure you feel right about it. I was very hesitant to repost anything regarding this matter because I'm not exactly pro anybody, just a highschooler who wanta people to get along, but I also don't want to ignore people in their time of need when I can at least do this. So please don't take my word for it, make sure this is legit before you do anything. I'm only reposting this because out of all the asks I've gotten so far, this is the least bot sounding one so far.

I really flippin love God bro. I can mess up a bunch of times and STILL get blessed like I'm the youngest child. Imagine screwin up so unbelievably bad practically everyday and your parents still shower you with a bunch of stuff you never asked for as well as for the things you did. That's basically him. All you gotta do is love him in return. That and apologize obviously. Yet for some reason, those are the things we, including me, have trouble sincerely doing the most. -- Me just now lol

I'm selfish, crude, rude, and abnoxious, disgusting, judgmental and all kinds of stupid; I make mistakes and lie about them, blame others and life; I sin and I hurt and I scream and I cry. I am no different from you in this regard. I am a human; I'm an idiot. We kind of all are. The only difference from me and Satan is that I know my sins; I give them to God and He takes them. He knows my sins, my pride, my hate. He takes them and kills them on a big cross shaped plank. I am a sinner, there is no confusion, questions or doubt. But He is my redeemer, my saviour, and it is only in Him that I am found.

(Didn't mean for this to turn into some poem, but it kind of started rhyming and I just went with it lol)

God telling you to surrender isn't selfish or prideful, it's selfless and merciful. If you were in a burning 8 story building, the only way out was the window, and a fireman came to save you, would you struggle as they help you get out? Would you squirm around and kick and flail? Personally, I'd surrender myself to them because I know they want me to live and I know they know how to save me. You can't get out on your own and they know that. They went in to save you, not so they could bring out some popcorn and watch you "save" yourself. So let God help you.

Who do you think you are?

A liar, a cheat, a weakling, a coward? Selfish, crude, stupid, dishonest? Unwanted, weird, wrong or a mistake?

Or maybe you think you're a godsend. A triple threat, a jewel, a diamond. Smart, genius, charismatic, good?

Truth is, it doesn't matter. Cuz you've messed up before at one point or another. You're a sinner.

And so am I.

But even then, our sin is no match for God.

Why have I been venting for the past 4 posts?