Following God Can Be Tiring. It Won't Always Be Cupcakes And Rainbows. Don't Get Me Wrong, There Will

SEGA WHEN I CATCH YOU SEGA SEGA WHEN I CATCH YOU

So mad so mad so mad so mad so mad at SEGA why why WHY must they do this to me. Imagine falling in love and then KILLING that same love. Hahahahahaha imagine being a kid when it happened. HAHAHAHAHA IMAGINE HAVING ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS JUST WATCH YOU SOB AS YOU HOLD THE TRIGGER TO SHOOT YOUR LOVE. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH IMAGINE ALL THATS LEFT OF HER AFTER YOU EXPLODE HER WITH AN ENERGY CANNON IS A SINGULAR SEED. IMAGINE NOBODY EXCEPT ONE PERSON REALLY COMES TO SHOULDER YOUR PAIN AND TEARS. IMAGINE NOBODY THOUGHT THAT MAYBE A CHILD SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SHOOT HIS NONOFFICIAL GIRLFRIEND. IMAGINE-

Anyway, all greiving aside, I miss her.

I joined the Sonic fandom in a kinda odd way ngl. At the time, I was stupid and a fresh middle schooler and it was extremely popular to make fun of the sonic franchise cuz it was a whole meme and stuff. I also made fun of it cuz I thought I was supposed to. But I realized it was stupid to make fun of something I haven't even seen before. So I wanted to educate myself on it. Coincidently, I saw a video. It was by CourtneySNT about her first ever sonic fancomic around that time. I really enjoyed it actually. Sometimes I go back and rewatch it. Anyway, in her comic, she had introduced Tails to the screen and I fell in love with the fandom. Grant it, her depiction of tails at that moment was the polar opposite of what he's actually like, but still. It compelled me to watch Sonic X, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Boom, Sonic Prime, A bit of Sonic Underground, and just...Sonic the Hedgehog. I also watched a few gameplays and a lot of cutscene movies of the videogames as well as parodies and fan content. So...yeah.

Now it's just a Sonic Prime Nine analysis/rant below lol

Also, since I mentioned SONIC PRIME, I might as well rant about it. NINE. WAS. SO. PERFECT. He was well written, well scripted, and well developed. Everything about nim was chef's kiss. His story was literally just a what if. What if Sonic never met Tails? Well, number one, he wouldn't be named Tails. He'd make his own name. Nine. Also, he became cold and distant because he expected others to treat him the same due to his two tails. Perfect character already but then they fleshed him out some more and introduced this...guy named Sonic.

He didn't know Sonic at the time nor did he really know...anybody. So when this blue loser comes waltzing into his house unannounced, he obviously gets hostile. Why? Well, one, because a rando broke into his casa. But also because everyone he met was hostile to him first. Crazy. Then this guy seems to be friendly. A first. So, Nine lets down his ice cold walls and trusts him. Let me emphasize that. NINE TRUSTED SONIC. Remember that. It is SO important.

So, Nine goes along and helps this guy for no real reason other than the fact that he considers him a friend. Now, you'd think he also helped to stop the egg council, but he really never had bad blood with them in the first place. He isn't in the resistance nor shows any resentment. He's Nine all on his own, with or without the council. In fact, he probably doesn't care if they rule because he wanted to be alone anyway. But he helped. Why? Because he wanted to help his FRIEND.

This goal warps when Nine discovers an empty realm called the grim. He can have a fresh start there with him and sonic. Just the people he cared about. He asked Sonic to go with him because he wanted to share his dream with him. He wanted Sonic to be a part of it with him. But Sonic undermined his dreams. It'd be one thing if he simply disagreed with it or gave a good, justifying, and well explained reason for refusing, but instead he didn't explain himself well. Sonic entitled himself to the prisms, assuming him getting home was everyone's priority. I don't mean to villainize him because this was simply reckless and unknowing behaviour, but still. Nine got upset that his FRIEND was trampling on his dreams as if they didn't matter nearly as much as Sonic's.

So, he "betrayed" Sonic. I want to bring this to everyone's attention. Nine had critisized Sonic because he recklessly didn't think about what woukd happen to everyone else if he DID bring back his home. Like, nobody knows jack squat about the prisms. Sonic, Nine, Shadow, even the egg council was lost when it came to those big shiny rock things. It shines and made our universes. That's all they knew. So, with that in mind, it makes sense to be concerned. Like what if it kills us? What if it destroys our world in order to bring back yours? They only exist because of the prism being destroyed, so if you fix it, would that kill them? Idk, I feel like this was mentioned once and never brought up again and it makes me mad. Such potential.

Anyway, after the situation, Nine goes back to the grim to make his dreams come true by himself. Because the one person he TRUSTED broke his trust. So, after a bunch of irrelavent stuff happens, Sonic goes to the grim after making a deal to Nine. Nine lets him into the grim and Sonic starts to preach to Nine about their friendship. Nine listens and almost starts to trust him again, maybe thinking about his actions and how they might not have been the best. How their friendship could maybe be salvaged. Why? Because Sonic said he woukd sacrifice himself to save Nine too. But then an entire army shows up to beat Nine into a teeny tiny pulp. Grant it, Sonic did not call them to the grim. But then he imediently sides with them in taking Nine down in an all out war. After saying he'd sacrifice for Nine too, he pulls an uno reverse on him. Trust broken. Again.

So now, he wants to trust nobody. Why? Because Sonic broke once too many. So he starts fighting. And fighting. And fighting. Like he's been doing his entire life. Who is he fighting? Someone who he thought was his friend. Someone who claims to be his friend. Someone who he thought he wouldn't need to fight. And he's clearly breaking his own body in desperation while doing so. Nobody really said anything about it either btw. Like, he's literally hurting himself and Sonic, his "friend" didn't even try to stop him because he was hurting himself, but because he was huring others and taking the prisms. I understand of course because he's hurting your friends, but his own pain wasn't even a slither of his drive.

Anyway, the ending sucked personally. It was anticlimactic. Nine gives in just because and then Sonci goes home, mystery never discovered, and yay we're done.

I hate winter but I've come to apreciate it. One, winter is important to our world, its balance, and the way of life, but it's still cold and I don't like it. But it also reminds me of how God uses transitions from Winter to Spring to restore all things, make new life, and show he is still working. Summer is still my favorite though.

Guys. God made frogs. HE IMAGINED THESE CREATURES UP.

Like let me just rant and give a list of some creatures God made and I love Him for it

• Frogs:

CUTE LIL JUMP PUPPIES! THEY SO GOOFY AND DERPY AND THEY GO RIBBIT AND SOMETIMES THEY SCREECH

• Bunnies

Come on, iconic. ICONIC. Famous for being cute!!

• CATS

YES. LIL TOE BEANED, BIPOLAR, SLEEP MACHINES

• Dolphins

So cool, but also so weird. Insane behaviour; God, I have questions

• Sheep

BAHHHHH! Perhaps His second favorite creation! Us being first of course!

• Fish

There are SO many species! He thought up EVERY SINGLE ONE!! THAT'S A LOT OF FISH

• Ferrets

LONG NOODLES

• Dogs

Did He make them to literally be man's best friend? Did Adam have a dog? Either way, I LOVE THEM

• Parrots

TALKING FLIPPIN ANIMALS THAT CAN FLY

• Mosquitos

May I inquire why? I'm not questioning your choices, God, but I'm so curious. Very curious indeed (especially to why you made them like me so much)

• Leaches

REALLY CURIOUS NOW

• Ants

So smol and so strong, but also really smart

• Venus fly trap

YES. COOLEST PLANT EVER. MY FAVORITE CARNIVOROUS PLANT! LOOKS PRETTY AND AWSOME AND EATS BUGS! SUPER COOL DESIGN, GOD!

• Whales

SO BIG! SO COOL! I LOVE!

• Jellyfish

Where's the everything they need to live?! God, you've done it again!

• Humans

Gotta be His favorite creation! So smart and complicated! Yet unfortunately, so dumb and simple too. If only we stuck too the intended parts of us.

I had 3 pairs of glasses and lost 2 and broke the 3rd. I have to leave for a cruise tommorow and I didn't know what to do. I'd have to tell my mom or hide it until after the cruise. I wanted to lie and hide it but I knew it would do me no good and God would rather me obey Him and tell the truth, even if I get in trouble. I was really scared and stressed but listened and told her anyway after praying to God about it. I asked Him to give me the courage to tell her and that he would soften her heart to the situation. And He did! My mom was already mad this morning so I was pretty scared to tell her. Plus she isn't known for patience. But she wasn't angry and just happy I told the truth sincerly. Jesus works

Dazai Chronicles

Hey, so, do you guys like the Dazai Chronicles? I might make more, but honestly I'm not sure what other characters to do. I already have Chuuya's in the progress, but everyone else is kinda...blank. So, I have a few ideas on people to put in the series, but I'm not sure who you'd like to come first and stuff. So, I'm holding a poll.

(Omg I'm so stupid I accidently picked Fyoder and can't unpick it)

Guys, if you pick other, you're gonna have to tell me who, or else I won't know who you mean lol

If you don't believe in the bible because it's man made, you shouldn't believe Ceaser was real because so was the history books showing his existance.

If you don't believe in God because you can't touch, see, smell, taste, or feel him, then you shouldn't believe in Gravity because you can't touch, see, smell, taste, or feel that either.

If you don't believe in Jesus because you think having faith in a God you haven't "met" is blind idiocy, then you shouldn't believe the astroid belt exists because that'd be having faith in something you've only seen in diagrams, pictures, and books, all of which were given to you by man.

As my teacher had once taught me, hard evidence is great, but soft evidence is just as valid.

There are testimonies, miracles, healed and saved people roaming the world. All of them have a reason for following God, and if you find a true christian, you'll be in awe everytime you hear their discoveries. They don't believe because they saw it in a book or because mama told them so, but because they've met Christ in a way He wanted to reveal Himself to them. One day, if you honestly ask Him to show Himself to you and you listen, you could have a testimony of your own.

I cannot be more serious, there is nothing better. There is nothing better than the feeling I feel when I'm with God. I went years running around doing all kinds of stupid things before I met Him, but He calmed my heart the same way He calmed the storm. Anxiety fled, lust died, anger wained, grief packed up and left, and He moved in.

You may think I'm crazy. An idiot who never learned to question. A traditional bum who can't open her mind to new ideas. Even an uneducated fool spouting whatever false tales.

You may think I'm in need. A victim to white men who drilled this religous crap into my head. A kid who doesn't even know better, she'll wake up once she get's old enough.

You may think I'm evil. A weirdo out of my mind who only lives to shame others. A cultists trying to drag others down with me. A judgemental, sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, trump supporting conservative who can't understand that sometimes she isn't right.

Well let me explain something

I'm sane. I question everything, the how, the why, the what, the who, the when. I adopt new ideas all the time, only the difference is, I have boundries when it comes to ideas trying to pull me away from the Word of God. I'm educated, and I plan to become a professor.

I'm not a victim. I chose this path for myself, no person or group manipulated me into it (besides, it's not a white man's religoun, it's middle eastern). I may be a kid, but the things I've seen and felt was something even a toddler could identify as unmistakenly God.

I'm not evil. I don't shame people, thinking they're gross or whatnot just because we don't share the same beliefs, I pray for them and their wellbeing. I'm not a cultist and I would never willingly drag anyone down if I knew what I was following was false, in fact, I wouldn't even be in it myself. I don't look at any gender, race, occupation, status, or sexuality and think I'm looking at devil's incarnate, just a person like me and everyone else who doesn't know the goodness of God (Also, I'm not even a republican and I'm well aware I'm wrong sometimes).

Contrary to many beliefs, I'm not as bad as people try and peg me to be. I'm just a kid trying her best in a world where nobody ever looks back on the weak. I'm just a kid who struggles to make friends or relate to people. I'm just a kid that wants to love and be loved. Trying to understand, find my way, do what's right and be truly happy.

I'm just a child.

God's child.

Love

God died for your love, not your validation. God loved the world so much so that He died for it. He died to free us of our sin, the choices we thought we wanted to make, but in reality were only hurting us. That is love. And love is not validation.

Love isn't blindlessly validating, it's picky, and particular, and restricting. Because it doesn't want you to settle with whatever you think you want, but for you to have what you need. So love isn't letting you pick out a moldy apple, when there's a fresh feast just in the oven. It's telling you there is better food in the oven and you don't need to eat something so revolting and unhealthy. If you still prefer the moldy apple, I can't force it out your hands and force the food down your throat. I can only watch as you settle for what you think you want because while love is restricting, it's not imposing. But I didn't validate your choices, I detest them. I know it's worthless to you, maybe even harmful, compared to the gifts you could be enjoying instead. I didn't see you doing something stupid and do it too to show that you're valid in your choices. I saw you do something stupid, told you it was dumb and showed you an example of better choices.

I make this mistake too. All the time. I see someone settle for so much less and I just look away. I don't tell them about the feast in the oven. I don't tell them the moldy apple is toxic. I don't tell them sin will hurt you in the end and I don't tell them about God. I just sit there. Watching. Validating. Supporting. But not loving. Because that is never loving.

I need to love better. I need to love how He loved me. And I pray that He would help me and give me the strength and courage to love. And I pray that other's would pray this for themselves also to learn how to truly love.

I just went to sweet frogs and on the way and my family was discussing politics and how America may or may not survive these 4 years long enough to fix it back up. It had gotten me pretty down cuz it looked pretty grim when this happened:

Mom: Don't be so down, at least you're still here.

Me: Yeah, but for how long?

Mom: As long as Jesus says so.

The moment she said that, I felt so much better. I had forgotten who was in control. But knowing nothing can happen unless God let's it happen makes me feel sooo much better.

God works :)

"I don't have enough faith to be an athiest."

A line I've heard but never delved into. But I thought about it and came to that exact conclusion. I don't have the faith to be an athiest. Those words don't sound right together but they're very closely related. One day, we'll all die. Our sisters, our brothers, moms, dads, children, friends, etc. But nobody knows what happens when we die except the dead. Theists belive there is something after death, whether heaven, hell, reincarnation, divinity, whatever other beliefs are out there. Athiests believe there is...nothing. Just a big dirt nap. Now, life is a very big bet. You gamble all you have on the way you live and what you do.

The consequence of being a theist and being wrong is nothing because while we may have "wasted" our lives, we were happy with our choices. If we weren't happy, we can't even regret it because we'll be dead. Unable to think or feel. But the consequence of being an athiest and being wrong is in some cases, small and trivial, and sometimes very big and excruciating. Like hell. Y'know, the pit of everlasting flames where teeth gnash, souls weep, and flesh burns but does not decay. For eternity. The benefit of being an athiest and being right is a fun and wild time on Earth for about 80 years (if your lucky) that you'll forget once you croak. The benefit of being a theist and being right is living a life with hope and purpose and then getting whatever benefit there is to that religon, which is a perfect world with a perfect God in christianity once you die. Does that sound like equal pay equal reward to you?

You need to have the upmost faith in the belief that there is nothingness after death to be an athiest or you waste not these 80 years you love so badly, but the eternity afterward. You stake your body, your life, your future and your soul on it. You risk an eternity and afterlife in burning flames to believe it.

No matter what, we will all face death and we will all have to make a bet on something or someone. Atheism isn't a way of not betting at all, it's betting on there being no answer to the question, no number on the dice being thrown. Believing in every God and religon is betting on every answer being right, betting that every number is the right bet, which is contradictory and completely false. It's not a way out, it's either you turned off your brain and used "I want proof" as an escape route, or you genuinlly have the faith to be able to say you are willing to risk hell and eternal flames and firmly believe that there is nothing after death. That is a lot of faith. More faith than I have.

The only bet a theist has to make is on who they believe. They have 4000 somethin options but only one can be true. God has given me all the reason I need to follow Him, and so I will do just that.

But yeah. I don't have the faith to be an athiest.