I’m Turning This Into A Painting Trust.

more of these three

(Absolutely don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable) ENA (Dream bbq) getting drunk with reader?

•☽────✧˖°˖ FIZZY VALLEY ˖°˖✧────☾•

★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcannons Featuring Drunk Salesperson Ena X Reader

★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)

★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

★ Warning(s): Mentions And Descriptions Of Alcohol

★ Image Credits: @JoelG

☆ You should’ve known something was off when Ena invited you to what she called “a high-stakes engagement strategy brainstorm over beverages.” You were picturing coffee. Not tequila. Not her slamming two shot glasses on the bar and declaring, “Let’s reframe the concept of reality, darling.” She drinks like it’s a performance review—firm eye contact, exaggerated praise, and PowerPoint levels of misplaced confidence.

☆ Once Ena’s a few drinks in, her Salesperson side becomes so aggressively charming it’s like being smothered in coupon codes. “If you subscribe to this partnership now, I’ll offer you unlimited emotional support and complimentary hand-holding,” she hums, voice like cherry soda and half-suppressed giggles. You try to hide your flustered expression. She sees it. She logs it as “high conversion potential.”

☆ Her Meanie side doesn’t come out often at first—until she tries to order fries, but the kitchen’s closed. Suddenly she’s slamming her forehead on the bar, sobbing, “I AM THE TRAGIC EMBODIMENT OF CORPORATE WASTE—WHERE’S MY SALTED PRODUCTIVITY?!” You offer her a peanut. She throws the bowl at a breathing taxidermy moose.

☆ “Here’s your performance feedback,” she slurs, twirling a swizzle stick like a laser pointer, “You’re hot. You show initiative. You opened a door for me once. I will die for you.” You tell her that’s not how feedback works. She pulls out a clipboard from her suspenders and tries to make you sign a form titled “Love Contract (Beta).”

☆ She draws gimmicks on napkins. Terrible ones. Drunk ideas like “emotionally sentient office chairs” and “a pyramid scheme where everyone sells little hats.” You try to say “maybe we shouldn’t do this.” She claps a hand on your back like a frat bro and shouts, “WRONG ATTITUDE, PARTNER. THINK BIGGER.” Then she draws a diagram that’s just the word “VIBES” in a circle.

☆ She stares at you for a full minute, eyes glassy, voice flat: “Are you in the mood for shared assets and mutual annihilation, or should I put on my mask again and pretend not to like you?” You blink. She blinks. Her red side winks. You are either about to get kissed or yelled at. Or both. Probably both.

☆ The bar has one of those ancient karaoke machines. She picks a glitchy jazz remix of the Windows 95 startup sound. Halfway through she forgets the words (there are no words) and starts yelling improvised business jargon in rhythm. “Synergize my dividends, baby! Let’s OUTSOURCE THE PAIN!” Someone in the back cheers. You cry.

☆ Her Salesperson side leans over the counter, cheeks flushed, voice soft and too sincere: “Do you think people like me more when I smile? I’ve been smiling all night. It hurts now. But I—I want to be liked. I want you to like me. For me. Even if I mess up the pitch.” And her Meanie side chimes in: “GØD, I hate being real.”

☆ You’re not sure what triggered it—maybe someone said “quarterly”—but suddenly she’s sobbing into your shoulder like a malfunctioning LinkedIn ad. “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE A PRODUCT OF CAPITALISM! I just wanted to sell fruit. Or stickers! Or happiness! But now I’m selling ME!” You rub her back. She hiccups and asks if you’d still like her if she was “just a weird triangle girl with debt.”

☆ The bar’s quiet now. Her hat’s fallen off. You’re holding her upright and she’s murmuring nonsense like, “Let’s invest in each other’s feelings… diversify the pain into smaller dividends… I’ll build a company out of your laugh…” Then, barely audible: “You’re my best client. Don’t ever unsubscribe.” You smile. You don’t say anything. You just let her rest.

four during the hiatus before Bfb DEFINITELY did this and poor X tries to understand

daily fourx doodle!

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

BFB 1 comic practice 😚

Hihihii i recently got REALLY got into Ena, and i been wondering how about Ena with a girly reader? (Gender of your choice!)

Like someone's very pastel pink, wears frilly stuff and maybe even coquette? I dunno i thought it would be cute since it's kinda of my own aesthetic ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

(Changing up the formatting a bit lol, my commentary is now a lil further down. Still labeled [a/n] though✨️)

# ENA w/ a Girly!Reader

> [A/N]

Hellooo 🎀 anon! I'm very glad you got into ENA! Trust me, you'll love every second of it lol

Also, don't be sorry about the emojis, I usually conjure them from what people describe for me to write lol. But great idea! Alsoooo I'm very sorry if this is poor Aha ^^

Now onto the thingy

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> [Details]

(🌙🎭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💭) - ENA headcanons + scenario

(reader type) - gender neutral; girly and feminine

(‼️warnings) - none

(quick summary) - Headcanons about ENA dating a very girly Reader.

✦ First things first: lemme just announce that ENA loves your style

✦ She compliments something about your outfit every day... in her own strange way

❝ (Y/N), you are certainly manifesting the looks of a celebrity once again! ❞

✦ She often finds things on her adventures that she believes would suit you! For example, if she ever finds something like a pink bunny novelty, she is gunning in your direction to show you

✦ It took you a while, but you are now one of the only people who don't change her name to say "MENA" or "TENA" or something else

✦ People are surprised but understanding when you say you two are dating, specifically because of how different your aesthetics and vibes are

✦ Despite this, you two have somewhat similar personalities

✦ As in: you both are silly and whimsical and goofy

❝ My beloved! I have kidnapped this wonderful little specimen with consent, and I was wondering if you would like to wrap your eyeballs around it with me! ❞

❝ Oh, ENA! I would be honored! ❞

✦ And then you two stare at an hourglass dog with cool shades for the next hour

✦ You guys like to paint each other's nails (or whatever ENA has that is the equivalent) while telling silly little nonsensical stories

✦ There is barely a time when she is not seen gushing about you, bragging that she has a pretty significant other

✦ If you want, ENA will sometimes match outfits with you! Though, she would admit, it'd be different than what she's used to. But, she'd do anything for you

✦ With that said, fashion shows are not uncommon

✦ Seeing you instantly boosts her mood and sometimes even helps with her episodes

✦ ... Sometimes

✦ ENA has introduced you to all of her friends. They all may not like you, but they definitely like your style

✦ You have soooo many perfumes. 80% of which ENA bought with all of the fatty caddies she had

✦ If you're someone who really doesn't like to get very dirty (considering your outfits are usually full of pink and white), ENA will waste no time in doing all of the filthy work

✦ ENA's way of speaking is what had you head over heels. For her, it was your appealing taste in fashion paired with how friendly you were compared to everyone else she meets

✦ (You were able to look past the fact that she was an ENA)

✦ In fact, that's how you two met

✦ Lemme set the scene...

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Y'know, this is the reason you don't attend cult dances much.

A wicked event, this was. Everyone was dancing as though it was the end of the world, and they had no care about it. Unfortunately, partying so hard can eliminate a person's sense. And everyone here was certainly, and unfortunately, senseless. Messes were everywhere, and you were ready to abandon this place temporarily; you were ready for bed.

You obviously aren't a coward, but you and grime had a rough history, and you'd rather not continue it. Runas forbid you go one day without ending up completely covered in mud and dirt. Why that happens so much, you're not sure. Maybe keeping clean is a pet peeve.

As you were making yourself a clean path, a dual-colored girl walks up to you. It seems as though she just got here as she's not as wasted or entranced by the music as everyone is... Or at least you thought she wasn't. She grins and begins to dance in a rather funny way. "Goodnight! My pal Moony seems to have misplaced me, and these walls are... rather unforgiving," She explains with joy in her voice, contrasting her explanation. "I would be forever grateful if you could help me locate her!"

You just went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions. First relieved at how she was different from the others, then confused as you thought you were wrong, then... intrigued. You didn't know why, but the way this funny woman spoke piqued your interest. Even though she was clearly an ENA, you couldn't help but not be offended by her mere presence. As if to sell you on her natural "charisma", she does a small curtsy and beams at you once more. "Might I say your taste in style is quite edible! I'm sure everyone would love to steal a bite."

Okay, that sold you.

You returned the curtsy and did a comical little spin, showing off your pink skirt and sweater that you had specially picked out for this party. "But of course! I attract even the most obscure foodies." You boasted, now feeling more confident. You stood upright and pointed at her, mimicking her odd, slanted stance. "For an ENA, you sure do lack salt in those bones. Come on, let's go and find your companion!"

Her eyes lit up as she twirled in triumph. She explained what "Moony" looked like to you, and you set out, helping her find her friend. Unlike you, ENA didn't mind getting her hands very dirty and was kind enough to make a clean path for you. How sweet you thought. Maybe she was unlike the rest as you had first thought?

Whatever the case, the night turned out better than you expected. You managed to befriend someone here and got to start a streak of keeping your outfits whatever shade they had started out with. Maybe this party wasn't doomed for extinction after all.

flirt

GYFVDTTYR567UHJUHNJYU😻😻😻

someone mentioned that Four screeches whenever ANY intense emotion occurs..

fully obsessed with them

testing out new brushes!