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Author's note: Helloooo. It's been so long since the last time I posted something here. I apologize for taking so long before posting this one. I've been occupied with my research subject lately and we've been preparing for the research defense that will occur in just a few weeks (our teacher hasn't given us any schedule yet).
This is a comfort fic where the reader is trying to comfort his beloved Xingqiu. I hope you enjoy this and have a nice day.
I'll start posting once again after our scheduled experiment on research, which is this weekend.
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It's been almost a week since the last time you saw him. You were always at the bookstore in Liyue, not exactly waiting for him but just returning some books and taking some to read before returning them the next day, it's a simple cycle that you often do during good days. The last time you talked to him, he said that his family will be facing an upcoming task for the Feiyun Commerce Guild. You understand it as you knew he's a part of that guild, so you thought he might be really busy that he's not able to do his routine of reading books in the bookstore and talking to you.
His two best friends don't also have any idea when you asked them. The last time they saw him was when they tried to visit him on Saturday. They only see a glimpse of him and hear his words of apologies. He's busy, that's the summary of his apology. They didn't really talk for too long as Xingqiu was called by his brother, ending the conversation. You sighed. You're not mad about his lack of time, in fact, you're just really worried. And maybe you miss seeing him too or listening to his voice while he reads his favorite books to you. You miss him. You miss holding his hands, drawing circles on his palm, you miss his presence on your side.
Early in the morning, you went to his house. But you only met his assistant, you didn't see any glimpse of him or his smile, just the words of his assistant's excuse and apologies.
"He's currently working on some important paper for the commerce guild, I'm sorry Mx. Y/n, but he ordered that he can't let any distraction in the meantime. He wanted to finish the tasks as soon as possible."
So you thanked him and bid him farewell. But before entirely leaving, you stop in front of his house, waving your hand as a farewell and sending a smile. You have a small glint of hope that he might see it. A hope that you send your message clearly to him. You're not mad and you'll keep waiting. As long as you know he's going back to you afterward, you can always wait.
"Y/n? We're about to close. It's getting really late, you should be going home now." Your mind snapped back to reality as you heard Ms. Jifang, the owner of Wanwen Book House. You closed the book that you didn't manage to read at all as your mind seems to wander. "Ah, I'm sorry. I guess I will be going now then. Can I keep this book in the meantime? I will-" "You always give the books you lend in time, why would I say no?"
You smiled, "Thank you, Ms. Jifang"
You bid her your last farewell for the day before setting off to a new location. A location just a few meters away from the Bubu Pharmacy. The both of you would always go there to read books to each other, reading random lines from your favorite books.
The scenery of the moon and the sun can be quite a sight. There's also a tree around to lean on when taking a rest and that's what you're planning to do for the day.
You stopped on your tracks as you saw a familiar figure sitting under the tree, the blue hue of the moon lightning his figures.
"Xingqiu?"
You called him. You notice how he slightly flinches at your voice, probably surprised by your sudden presence. He looked at you for a second, smiling a bit before gazing at the moon.
Something is wrong, you can feel it. The way his eyes match the emotion of confusion with worries written all over it makes you feel unsettled. You decided to sit beside him, staying silent for a little while before finally speaking. "Why are you here...at this hour?"
You asked him, but his eyes remained gazing at the moon. Your question stayed lingering in the air and you felt like you didn't need to repeat it too. You waited, discarding the book you planned to read earlier to the side. "A lot of things...happened," he spoke softly, his fingers playing with the grass."I need to take a breath so I went here, you wouldn't mind, right, my dearest?"
His golden eyes met yours, silently pleading for him to let him join you in silence. You wanted to ask why or what happened, but the look on his face states that you didn't need to. He's willing to tell you everything, after all, bottling all emotions at once is not a good idea.
You smiled, "I wouldn't."
A chuckle escapes from his lips, sighing afterward as he leans back to the tree, staring directly at the moon.
"Do you have any fears, y/n?" You blinked. "Yes, of course. I think that goes with everyone else." "What about, something you hate and fear at the same time?" You hummed, taking in the question deeply and pondering your answer. "Hate and fear, you say? I guess I have some too. I mean, that's a very thin line. At most times, you can hate something because you fear it. Since it's something that makes you uncomfortable, you can grow to hate it." "I see." Silence followed his words after that. You rested your back on the tree. "I fear...that someday, I won't be able to do the things I enjoy. That one day, I would face all the responsibilities and carry all the burdens for our family's position." He spoke softly. You hummed, making sure that he knew you were listening. You're there to listen to all of his musings and worries, like what he always does to you. "You know, my brother is a bit of a...slacker. He seldom does his work and is supposed to be responsible so I was the one being caught up in it. It's my role to do my own responsibilities and support my brother." He continued. His eyes drifted away from the moon to yours. "I'm quite tired. I'm not really...I mean, it's my responsibility but, I think it's unfair or maybe I'm just being insensitive. This is my responsibility, I should shoulder it but I..." You stared at him. His eyes look distraught like it's unable to convey the emotion he's feeling. It's too overwhelming for him. Most of the time, he's too calm and collected but his emotions are a haywire right now. He doesn't know how to understand his own frustration right now. Why is he frustrated in the first place? He shouldn't be. It's his role to serve the commerce guild, he's a disciple of justice. What is he thinking? Why is it so loud? Why is everything so loud inside his mind? "Xingqiu." You called him but he remains soullessly staring at you, he's too absorbed by his thoughts and too concentrated on solving them by himself. He doesn't even notice that his eyes are already welling up to tears. "Hey, Xingqiu." You gently caressed his cheeks, wiping his tears away with your fingers. He blinked at you, his eyes slowly returning to consciousness. "It's alright to feel tired. It's fine to feel pressured. Don't downplay your emotions. It's normal to feel such a thing, you're not being irresponsible. It's not selfish to take a break. Most importantly, you do deserve a break from all of it." "But if I don't-" "But if you don't do your work, it will remain unfinished and might just pile up," you cut him off. "I understand that, of course." You continued. "So for now, let's take a break together then tomorrow I'll help you. I can go around and ask for the things you need or sign some papers up. When we're done, I'll talk to your brother." "W-Wait, why would you talk to my brother?" He questioned. "Oh, there's nothing to worry about. I'm just going to inquire him with some-" "Y/n, please don't." He looked at you with pleading eyes. "Please don't tell him." You sighed. "I'm not going to. Unless it's from you, I'm not going to say anything. Don't worry about it. I'm just going to tell him that I will take you for a while." "Take me?" "Yes, take you. I would take you for some self-care treatment. You deserve it and I won't take no for an answer." He hummed, his head resting on your shoulder. "And if something comes up..." "If something big of a task came up, we would walk through it together. If it's a small one, leave it to your brother. I'm sure he can handle such small tasks." You smiled as he sighed. "Are you sure about this?" "I've never been this sure, my dearest." He chuckled, smiling as he intertwined his fingers into yours. "Ah...I miss this feeling." "Feeling of..?" "Relief, my love. The feeling of calm and comfort. You're my safe haven, y/n."