WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEE - Blog Posts

intertwined, sewn together 🐞

#EUGENE: mom, i'm tired.

HELPPPPPPPP @myokk I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING THIS OMGGG IM SO SHY AHHHH 🙂‍↕️ im like GIGGLING PROFUSELY I CANT STOP ilyyyyyyy 💗💖💗💖💗💖💗

THIS GOLDMINE PLUS YOUR AMAZING WONDERFUL RESPONSE TO MY COMMENTARY ON THE CHAPTER OF BIFLAS FEELS LIKE IT’S CHRISTMAS AGAIN 🎄🤩😍!!!!

okay enough of caps HAH - i WILL be writing some thorough thoughts (i already started but haven’t finished yet but i totally took advantage of the tags to share where my brain is at right now 🤗) but let’s just say that ALL I WANT IS FOR ELLADORA (& Eloise) TO BE HAPPY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SHE DID WHAT SHE COULD GIVEN HOW SHE WAS RAISED OMG MY HEART 😭😭😭😭

ELLADORA JUST NEEDS A HUG FROM HER MOTHER IM SO SAD OMG BUT IN AWE AT HOW TRAGIC HER STORY & HER FAMILY’S STORY IS

I literally said i was done with the caps omg i lied HAHAHA

im stealing this picture from you to show you how much i 💗💗love 💗💗💗youuuu:

✨🌚MY HEADCANONS ABOUT THE BLACK FAMILY🌝✨

Being this close to her mother, Eloise was struck by their physical similarities. As a young girl, it had been impossible to see, but now that she was a young woman they were striking. She felt as if she were looking in a mirror, but a twisted mirror: everything that was warm about her appearance was turned cold in her mother: hazel eyes to a frigid silver, unruly brown hair to straight black; her mother's skin was somehow even more pale than Eloise's, as if she were cut from marble. Everything soft about Eloise was made sharp in her mother, and Eloise wondered what had made her this way. She was terrified that in twenty years' time, the two of them would be indistinguishable. Had Elladora Black always been like this? Eloise couldn't imagine any time when her mother might have smiled, or even huffed in quiet laughter. No moments where she had been caught staring at her husband with love and warmth in her eyes. Eloise had only ever known her as an ambitious woman who was always striving towards some goal, even if it was known only to her. Someone couldn't spend their whole life like that, could they?

or: how I imagine Elladora Black's life and how she became the evil, complicated woman that I love so much​🥺​ ft Phineas Nigellus Black, Sirius, Apollonia, pureblood society headcanons I just make up, tragic romance, complicated female characters and SO MUCH MORE🫶

this post is dedicated to the sweet amazing @elliecutte my favorite Elladora lover/sweetest person EVER & the only person I dedicate posts to🤭

This might be kind of disjointed, because I don't have names or anything for the people in her life really. It's just what is kind of in the back of my mind as I write Elladora, but very much going off of vibes more than anything.

What's canon about her is that she's the third child in her family (Sirius and Phineas are her older brothers), and has a younger sister, Iola. (Idk who exactly Apollonia is in relation to their family…maybe a great aunt?) (Iola was burned off the family tree for running away with a muggle, which was always a source of deep shame for the family)

Sirius dies when Elladora is three (he was eight years old). He was the oldest son, and in these types of families, the oldest son inherits EVERYTHING - the land, the house, the heirlooms…basically the whole estate. Subsequent sons would go into some sort of profession (church, army, law etc - my wizarding headcanon is a high position in the Ministry or the Wizengamot or something) and might inherit a smaller estate that's in the family if they're lucky. My guess is that Sirius was prepared from a young age to be the heir, and his death was a freak accident. Maybe he drowned when the family was vacationing by the sea, maybe he caught Dragonpox…

BUT his death was the factor that really drove their mother over the edge and started her own personal journey into the Black Family Madness (because, as we know, there's ALWAYS an inciting incident for the poor cursed women of this family and they will ALWAYS get it) (yes it's a curse, which will be explained LATER​​🤭​). She had been SO proud of giving birth to four healthy, beautiful children, and Sirius was her favorite so it was devastating to lose him. After his death, she grew quite distant from her other children, believing that they were also all going to die and abandon her and she couldn't bear the thought of getting close to and losing another.

Phineas grew insolent and hated the fact that he was going to be the heir - I think his temperament is better suited towards not having the pressure of carrying on the family legacy, anyways. Sirius’s death really affected him as they were quite close (similar to Eloise and Leo’s relationship BEFORE she was banished). His grief manifested in general apathy.

Elladora, on the other hand, CRAVED her mother’s attention and tried doing everything she could to get it. Her magic manifested quite young, and it was apparent to everyone that she had the potential to be quite powerful. No matter how much she tried, however, her mother would just wake up and sit in a fugue state, ignoring everything until the day was over and she would rise and go to bed.

Elladora was raised in the typical fashion of that time: private tutors in magical theory, dancing, how to navigate pureblood society, and learning how to manage a household of her own in the future. She disdained muggle culture and muggleborns, not realizing in her ignorance how much her own society was influenced by muggle customs, and thought of herself as above others in the wizarding world as well due to her family’s status. She always knew it that when she came of age, she would be married to Oberon Babbit and that was that.

The Babbits were an extremely prominent wizarding family; one of the oldest British wizarding families (most had some connections with France, Germany etc but not the Babbits), and known for being quite reclusive and wealthy. Oberon’s mother died in childbirth, and he was quite sought-after due to the fact he would inherit EVERYTHING. The Blacks considered themselves fortunate for being able to secure that connection through Elladora.

When Elladora got to Hogwarts, she was STILL determined to do everything right. She excelled in all of her classes and thought of herself as unstoppable. In the back of her mind, she knew that her duty would be getting married and starting a family after graduation, but she couldn't help but hope for more - probably due to how well she took to her studies; Transfiguration in particular was a favorite subject. She was hot-headed and fiery and opinionated, never letting anyone tell her what to do, and never had a problem telling people when they were wrong. I want to think she was pretty popular amongst the students - not only because she was always impeccably put-together and wearing the highest-quality robes that money could buy, but because there was just something irresistible about her. She drew people to her; she knew how to navigate all of the subtle interactions between the various students and she always came out on top.

Oberon was a few years older than Elladora, but she didn't interact with him much. Maybe it was a bit of self-denial: he didn't seem so interested in her, and she wanted to live a few more years freely before beginning the rest of her dutiful life. She was very carefree - maybe a bit too carefree - and before she knew it, she found herself head-over-heels in love with a Gryffindor (he has no name bc it's not important). Or - and this is what she tells herself in the future - she thought it was love, but it wasn't😤​

He was everything Oberon wasn't, and that's what attracted her in the first place. He wasn't scared to disagree with her, to rile her up, was loud and outgoing and present to his life like nobody else she knew, and he saw her - not just the façade that she put on for everyone else. Even though Elladora knew it was doomed from the start, that it could never last, she couldn't help her feelings and her seventh year at Hogwarts was a whirlwind of emotions. She lived in the moment as only a young girl can do, enjoying those halcyon days...and yet at moments was paralyzed by panic, knowing that it would all be over soon. She soon found herself not even enjoying any time spent with him in secret, living in her present moments as if they were already memories to jealously guard close to her heart for the rest of her life. She had no one to confide in but him - all of the girls she surrounded herself with were just waiting to pounce at the first sign of weakness she showed - and yet to tell him everything was too painful.

So she ended things abruptly, no explanations. Cutting him out completely was the only option she could bear.

(Elladora never did find out that he had saved up a summer's wages, plus his inheritance money, to buy a delicate engagement ring and two tickets to America)

Her first years after graduation were spent in a flurry of balls and courting Oberon and gossip and weekly appearances in the society section of the Daily Prophet. To all outward appearances, she was having a wonderful time, but she felt hollow inside. Before she knew it, that time was over and she was getting married and then she was pregnant with her first child at only twenty-one and she was alone and then she was giving birth alone and then she was holding her tiny son in her arms and crying for some inexplicable reason.

Oberon hadn't come to even see their new son, Leonard - Elladora chose the name and it had meaning only to herself (and one other person, who saw the news a year later, in New York).

Her life was a series of disappointments.

She never could get any indication from her mother that she existed, she never made any true friends, and the only happy moments in her life were relegated to memories she could never bear to take out and examine ever again. Oberon was [redacted] and if she wasn't so strict with anything she would lose everything she had.

It's quite obvious that she and Eloise were doomed to always be at odds - just another disappointment to add to the list. Of course she would give birth to a useless squib daughter and this - along with everything else - spurred on the beginnings of her own version of the madness. Deep, simmering, volatile anger, a desire for everything to be absolutely perfect and to keep up appearances at any cost. Losing control of herself whenever she's lost control of anything, and deeply regretting the outbursts if she ever were to reflect on them, which she doesn't.

Elladora sees too much of herself in her daughter, especially after Eloise is brought back into the family, and that makes her hate Eloise more. (is it really hate though?) Seeing the same mistakes she made so long ago repeated is unbearable, and in her own way, she believes that she's helping Eloise with every decision she makes, such as Eloise’s rushed engagement to Augustus Malfoy.

But, Eloise will never be able to make herself as hardened as Elladora no matter how much she wishes for it and tries.

I love love love Elladora, she's one of my favorite characters to write, and her scenes with Eloise, and with the Headmaster (her brother), have been some of my favorites to write. There are just SO many layers that go into who she is & all of these little things behind-the-scenes that I think make for very interesting interactions.

I know that this is the Sebastian Sallow fandom & I could do a whole entire post just like this for him and how he grew up, for Solomon, even for Ominis (and I wrote a whole oneshot just for Imelda's history🤭​), but Eloise and her mother have become my favorite women to think about and they are who occupy my mind the most🥺​ I am endlessly grateful that people even like my girl so much & that there is one girl who is as crazy about Elladora as I am🥹​🫶​

And, if any of this is interesting to you, my fic is full of these things. SUPER canon-divergent, it’s been described as a mix of Hereditary and Midsommar and just spooky gothic angst vibes, exploring complicated family dynamics (I’ve ALSO been told I wrote the most realistic description of Sebastian’s relationship with Solomon), Arthurian mythology, LOTS of blood rituals and dark magic and sacrifice and who-even-knows-what and romance🫶🫶🫶

Before It Felt Like A Sin (115775 words) by myok