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i want every place i left to vanish. or freeze. or completely change. i don't want them to be themselves without me in it. i don't want them to keep going on as if i've never been there. the street lights i used to look at from my childhood rooms window should be turned off. the kid i used to play hide and seek with should stop growing. how can everything be the exact same and completely different at the same time? how is this the same street? how the cafe i celebrated my 8th birthday still serves? how?