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early criminal minds (seasons 1-5) is so fucking funny if you think about it from the perspective of literally anyone that the BAU interacts with outside of each other. to recap what’s going on, let’s go over the team. We’ve got:
Elle Greenaway- murderous bitch who maybe murdered someone in cold blood (claimed self defense but who can prove that?)
Spencer Reid- a genius with both mommy and daddy issues who looks like a fourteen year old TA and does magic tricks whilst, at some points, zooted off his ass on dilaudid
Jason Gideon- man who screams at crime scenes and lays down in blood stains
Derek Morgan- calls their tech analyst like “ugh mommy shove that nice hot information down my throat”
Penelope Garcia- the aforementioned Information Mommy, who talks to the team (specifically morgan) like a phone sex operator trying to make enough to cover rent
Jennifer Jareau- bubbly blonde woman who yells at TV reporters and kicks ass
David Rossi- rich, elderly, famous crime novelist who DEFINITELY should be retired
Emily Prentiss- goth lesbian who DEFINITELY has cursed folks out in one of the many languages she knows
Aaron Hotchner- tired workaholic man, trying his best to hold this shitshow together, also beat a man to death
like, can you IMAGINE??? it’s the worst week of your life. Some madman is running around, i don’t know, killing folks and cutting off their nipples or something, and this absolute clown brigade rolls up like “ah yes, just another Tuesday for us lmao” and start asking you questions about what kind of dirt this murderer had stuck to his shoes, and then they SOLVE THE CASE???? what the fuck must you be thinking at that point