Suicidal Thoughts - Blog Posts

Not An Update

Im having a hard time writing the next chapters of Demigods of Valyria because I just had to put my cat.

I'd only had Xena for two years after we rescued her from outside because she had severe wobbly cat syndrome and couldn't walk. Yesterday, April 23rd I had to make the decision to put her down after she had an absent seizure while I was at school. I held her as they put her down and that was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do so I'm not up to writing.

She was my anchor. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for years and for the last two I've stayed alive to care for her and now I feel lost.

I'll try to updaye when I feel better but I make no promises.

Trigger Warning: Vent art w/ suicide-related content

A Thousand Steps, A Million Prayers

author:

Rikamae

summary:

Climb the stairs, make your wish. If you're lucky, the god of fortune will reward you.

Gen wasn't taking any chances. He would climb the thousand steps to Ishigami shrine if it meant success.

He never expected his life to change forever after seeing those crimson eyes. Was it fate for them to meet? A freak accident?

All of it begs the question: What is fortune to a god?

Willful Neglect

author:

Anonymous

summary:

"Dazai..." Chuuya's voice comes out too tight and small, unlikely to ever reach Dazai. His hand lifts shakily, in some dazed attempt to stop him. There is panic wild and fast in his chest, the beginnings of hyperventilation, his breaths shallow and quick.   Something's wrong, something's wrong—   This hurts too much, it's not supposed to be like this—   His vision is blurring, and his head is taut and aching with the stress and anxiety and so much anguish that he can barely comprehend it. The last of Dazai's hazy form disappears, far in the distance. _______   Forced into a difficult situation, Dazai has to leave Chuuya behind post-Corruption without his usual thorough check-up. Only, he has no idea just what state Chuuya was in as he was walking away from him that night. Grief is a good teacher on how to value those you love. When he gets Chuuya back, Dazai uses his lessons well.

Always Yours

author:

orphan_account, Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)

summary: AU where Dazai has been betrothed to Chuuya since they were both children—an arrangement that never particularly interested him—until their wedding night, when he sees the omega’s face for the first time.

Honestly, I don't even need to to be someone's first thought. I don't even need to be the second thought, I just need someone t o think of me.

It’s strange getting over suicidal thoughts because your mind is like “hey if you do this, you could easily kill yourself” and then you’re like “oh cool...wait, I don’t want to die!”

“Scarlet never comes out to play, she just plays with her stupid dolls all the time.”

-Joshua Shepherd

" People hurt people... I hide away because I'm not pretty enough to walk away unscathed."

((OOC: I actually got this a long time ago but I'm only posting it now cause I feel like absolute shit. It's just one of those days guys, where you feel absolutely stupid, ugly and worthless.))

Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

No one should scroll past this

so much left

I lift the sticky sting of my sorrow and

squeeze every drop in to infinite ink to

tell the soft stories of my heart because

today I wanted to

drive as fast and far as I could and

let go of the wheel and

force myself to stop drinking the

ink so I’m throwing it on a page

instead because as of right now?

I’m not dead.

Right now my parents aren’t going through my room and

my siblings aren’t wondering what they did to make me so sad and

my friends aren’t crying because they weren’t enough to keep me here and

the boy I love isn’t remembering our last kiss through a hazy lense of pain

I am not yet selfish enough to kill myself and

I am fighting to stay that way because

I

Have

So

Much

Left.

I have people and feelings and food and things

And dreams and words and poems and books

And sights and songs and everything I haven’t done and-

I have enough left

to live for.