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When I learn to code I will make a shitty mobile game where you care for Medic's pet Spy head like a knockoff talking tom while he goes on honeymoon with Heavy (the doves go with them but the hear does not)
You can
Feed him!
Bathe him!
Dress him up!
Chainsmoke!
Kill him! Then you must do a minigame where you track him down after he and his body respawn and steal his head again so Medic doesn't find out.
Kiss him goodnight!
The game goes on forever. Medic tricked you he's actually retired the head is your problem now.