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just make a goddamn mistake.
just do something worthwhile enough to have some impact. is it not better to bruise your brain than to just let it rot?
fulfill a desire in a way that will hurt you after. ruin a friendship, if you can call it that. aren't you tired of being so restrained? so good?
turn your brain off and fumble around.
don't you think all the single eccentric old people that you adore so much messed up? you think John waters became what he was without going to jail a few times? you think Nan Goldin became herself without complicating the web and causing problems? you think John Danielle just got lonely? no, there was speed made in a stranger's bathtub in the mix, too.
fuck the horrible January resolution of reading more books. put in 10,000 hours of push up bras and bad lyrics and complicated companionship and power and caring too much about things that really don't matter.