Itadori X Black Reader - Blog Posts

𖦹 IN YOUR SPIRIT, SINGING SOFTLY ⇆ yuuji itadori

┆︎summary ┆︎betrothed to an elusive shy highborn lady, yuuji is determined to uncover the woman hiding behind the harsh expectations placed upon her by her family.over the years, you grow to love one another.

┆︎tags┆︎medieval/fantasy au, prince yuuji, highborn lady reader, toxic families (readers), neurodivergent coded reader, betrothed childhood friends to lovers, fingering, missionary, loss of virginity, vanilla sex

┆︎wc┆︎8.7k (woo boy!)

┆︎an┆︎can this be a get-together fic if you're already married...?

the day dawns like any other.

it is well beyond the first hours of light touching the highest towers of castle itadori. the air is cool, crisp, gently wafting through the trees. from end to end, the entire land seemed to be waiting with baited breath as his father proposed a betrothal to you, a lady from not-so-distant lands.

tensions have been rising between your families, it is no secret to anyone. and yet, no one knows what started it, who fanned the flames of hatred between the two―only that his father wishes to fight no longer. marriage of his only son, to your families only daughter was the easiest way to promote prosperity between both families.

to yuuji, being betrothed to you is both a blessing a curse. he is only nine, and anxiety looms inside him in a way that is foreign. he had only heard of you in passing. in scant lessons from his tutors (when he bothered to attend) when they explained the lineages of other great houses. even then his tutors did not have much to say about you.

an enigmatic girl, said one. the other; a delicate whisper, in name and in mannerisms. not much at all to go on at all, yuuji thought―not when your older brothers were described in such apt words, endless details, it seemed, of their accomplishments for your house.

luckily, he did not consider himself the type of prince who let others do all of his thinking for him. determined to speak to the girl he was promised to marry, the young prince sought you out all on his own.

it takes him a while, wandering the halls of your castle. but eventually he finds you in one of the dayrooms. it's well into the afternoon, and his stomach grumbles.

you're sitting on your knees, resting them against a pillow, yellow gown fanning out against the fine hardwood floor. like a tulip, turned over. most of your black hair is pulled away from your face―like tufts of clouds. and two pieces frame the sides of your face, decorated with pale wooden beads. simple but intricate jewelry adorns your neck and wrists. and as if in juxtaposition with your overall dainty appearance, a bug skitters across your knuckles.

its long and spindly, with a black body and hundreds of brown little legs. it is easily the ugliest creature the young prince has ever seen. you make a game of it though, turning your cupped hands this way and that as you keenly watch the bug scatter across your brown hands.

"what is that?" yuuji asks, dramatically gagging, as he approaches. he sits beside you on the floor, peering over you to try and get a better look. you try to shield the creature from him, but when your eyes catch his own curious gaze, you relent, slowly showcasing it to him.

"it is a centipede" you say quietly, turning your attention back to the hideous creature. "the maids were going to kill it"

i can see why, he thinks to himself. "it is...interesting to look at" and strangely grotesque as well. yet the longer yuuji looks, the less disgusting it becomes.

you don't reply to that. yuuji allows himself several moments to study the face of his future bride. you're pretty―why no one has ever told him this before? the sun darting through the windows only highlights your skin, turns it to simmering gold before his very eyes.

he watches keenly as your fingertip softly traces the backside of the centipede. your head turns slightly to look at him. "would you like to hold it?" you ask, and your voice is so quiet that it could easily have been drowned out if there were more people present. "it does not bite, if you are worried about that, prince itadori"

another foreign feeling overtakes him. fear, apprehension, skittering around his body like the centipede over your hands.

"just yuuji, please" he warbles, steeling his nerves. "alright"

you only stare for a moment. "you do not have to, if you so wish"

"of course i don't want to" yuuji admits, pouting at you. "but you are, and you seem to like it. how bad can it be?"

you stare for a moment longer. your head turns instinctively towards the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

"i am not someone who needs to be impressed, my prince" you say, standing to your feet, quickly crossing the dayroom to reach the large window.

yuuji follows after you on lanky legs, unlatching the window and pushing it open. you stand on the tips of your toes, carefully depositing the centipede onto the side of the castle wall. it doesn't move, but with a gentle nudge from your fingertip, the grotesque beast understands the notion and scurries away to freedom.

and just in time too. the door opens, and your mother strides pridefully into the room, head held high, flanked by several ladies. she's so different from you, who seems to further fold into yourself when she makes herself known. he finds himself watching the scene was intense concentration.

he doesn't like what he sees.

your mother takes one long look between you and him. "prince itadori, what a surprise" she smiles, but it's a fake one. she looks about as pleased to see him as he does her. "your father is looking for you" she says dismissively towards him as she sinks her claws into your shoulder. "dear, come along now"

you follow after her like an obedient little duck, looking back at him only once before your mother forces you forward once more.

--

the young prince is hardly a boy, anymore. ten long years have passed since he's met you―and your mother and father have kept you on a tight leash. he's seen only glimpses of you, and now that he's met with you completely, yuuji finds that he is at a loss for words.

you have yet to see him, and in fact, your back is turned to him. your chaperone stares him down―like he might somehow defile you if he even dares to step too close. ijichi, yuuji's own chaperone, stands closer towards the garden gates. it had taken far longer than it should have to convince your parents to allow for a courtship.

they had seen no importance in it. the two of you were to be married, the agreements set around that notion ten years ago. why did it matter if he courted you properly if the end result was to be the same?

he thinks they are fools. it isn't uncommon at all for people to be arranged to marry. his parents were. but they fostered love for one another over the years. yuuji is determined to make it work with you.

yuuji takes a step forwards, then another. your head is craned downwards, towards your lap. the prince wonders what has caught your attention. at last, your chaperone ruins the serene moment with a cough and a pointed glance in his direction. you turn slowly, and it is with that motion that yuuji finally sees what had been closely capturing your attention―another one of your spindly beasts.

the sight of it brings a fond smile to his face. yuuji bounds eagerly towards you, taking the available seat next to you on the marble bench. just like when he was a boy, the prince cranes his neck, peering into your hands. "that is a large beetle" yuuji remarks, gazing at the insects unique markings. "where did you find it?"

you glance towards him―pretty brown eyes scanning over his features. "in the peonies" you tell him quietly, and place the beetle onto the grass, and both of you watch it as it scurries away.

there are perhaps a hundred different flowers. "which ones are the peonies?" he inquires, once he can no longer follow the bug with his eyes.

"the coral colored ones, there" you instruct, pointing, before bringing your hand back into your lap. yuuji watches the movement with rapt attention.

the prince hums in response. he knows that conversation isn't something you really seem to...like doing. from his observations of you over the years, you are content to be alone and in silence. yuuji wants to know where you go, when you recede into your mind like this.

the flowers are very pretty though, and it's just as nice to sit beside you and exist. but he practically vibrates with the need to ask you a thousand questions. to know as much as possible about you.

you like the gardens, that much is obvious. you seem completely relaxed and at peace here—more than he's ever seen in the past. how often do you come here? do you simply sit alone? are you lonely? you seem like you are. is it possible to be both lonely and at peace?

"prince ita–yuuji" you start and his attention comes to you swiftly. you seem to notice him looking, because you keep your own gaze focused on the sleeve of your dress. "...nevermind. it's nothing"

"no!" yuuji exclaims, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. he winces, and holds the back of his neck. "sorry—i don't mean to be loud. it's just that i care what you have to say, even if you don't think it's important"

you look surprised for a moment, before that expression too, falls away. you shake your head softly, looking at him. yuuji likes it when you look at him, he realizes. there is always so much to say in your gaze and yet none of it leaves your mouth.

"i was only going to apologize" you explain in that little voice of yours. he can excuse the way he scoots even closer—surely far closer than appropriate—at the softness of your voice. there is a sad expression, more melancholy than usual and one that the prince does not like. "i know i must not be the sort of woman you would have married willingly. but despite my faults—"

yuuji's face scrunches up. "did your mother tell you to say that?" he interrupts, sounding annoyed and far angrier than he means to. you aren't like the other women. why your mother insists on forcing you into the same little box, yuuji has no idea.

silence. behind you, he can hear the shifting of weight from one foot to the other of your chaperone.

"only that i should vow to do my best by you" you say, after a long while. there's more to it that you aren't saying. but yuuji knows the sort of woman your mother is, the sort of man your father is. it couldn't have been anything good. and he hates how they've sank their claws into your skin and made you think so lowly of yourself.

"did you want to be married?" inquires the prince instead, staring at you. slowly, you give a small shake of your head. "so it should be i that should apologize then?" yuuji asks once more, though there is a teasing edge to his words.

another shake of your head, innocent and genuine. "you've done nothing wrong"

"and neither have you" he says, watching the way your eyes widen slightly in shock. "i would rather be wed to someone real than someone constructed based on what they assume i do and do not want in a partner"

it's too early for yuuji to tell how he feels about you. and he knows he cannot expect you to know the same. he can't say, with complete certainty, that he loves you. but the way the corners of your mouth quirk up into a slight smile makes him believe that he could. or maybe, he is already well on his way to doing so.

--

yuuji wonders how many times he's going to find you like this : alone and with your back to him, the foreground in a scenic location. his foot crunches on a twig, and you turn to face him. there is recognition on your face and you do not look as closed off as you usually are. yuuji swears that he won't allow himself to wonder what that means.

"hello, yuuji," you greet softly, and the prince forces his legs to carry himself. he stands in front of you—raking his eyes over your form. you're dressed more formally than when you lounge around in the gardens. a soft colored gown, lavender or white he cannot tell, with pretty pearls embroidered in elegant designs. poufy sleeves, curling like your hair, and a shiny necklace around your throat.

"you look beautiful" he says honestly, clasping his hands behind his back so that he can fidget with him. his voice comes out slightly raspy, throat dry. he hopes you cannot tell.

you stare at him for a moment. "thank you" you say, clearly waiting for something.

yuuji startles. "sorry!" he says, chuckling. he can't stop staring. his eyes flit from your face—your eyes especially, and your mouth, and then to the curve of your neck. your shoulders, your waist. your hands, where your fingers are intertwined. yuuji swallows again, and curses his wandering eyes. "your father sent me to retrieve you. the hunt is starting soon"

this late into the courtship, and with the wedding not so far away, both of your chaperones have eased up, and yuuji has been alone with you on a few opportunities. and the prince knows that your reclusive nature only eases the minds of society. no scandalous activity of any sort will be taking place between the two of you. but each time has ended exactly as it is now—with him stumbling over his words and making an utter fool of himself.

softly, a frown etches its way onto your face. "i thought i had more time" you say quietly, more to yourself than to him. your eyes meet his own. "i do not wish to go" you tell him, nearly pleading.

"i know" yuuji responds, and stands a bit closer. his heart pounds in his chest, beating so loudly it feels physical— at the way you unconsciously lean in the direction of his voice. you take comfort from him. from his presence. even though you do not say it. you do not need to. he feels as though he is beginning to unravel you, and the fact that you let him makes him feel...makes him feel honored.

he knows how much you hate these events, but as his betrothed both 1of you know how important it is for you to place yourself into society. he wants to touch you, to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. but the prince knows the two of you are not there—not yet.

"will it comfort you to know that the hunt will not take very long?" he asks quietly, as the two of you begin to walk back with the rest of the royal hunting party.

"it does" you reply softly, looking up at him briefly with your captivating gaze. "you will make sure it doesn't suffer?" you ask quietly, after a moment.

you and your bleeding heart. "you have my word" yuuji promises solemnly, meaning every word.

as you both near the clearing, the prince can hear the sounds of conversation. the men clean and toy with their weapons, boasting loudly of the kills they are sure to earn. the women are all huddled away from the sun underneath a tent. the smell of fruit wafts from it, fresh and cloying. honey and lemon cakes too, if his nose does not betray him.

"prince itadori! we were waiting for you" calls out one of the lords. his hair is graying, but he can't possibly be older than forty years of age. he walks up to where he is standing at your and shakes his hand. "if you were to take any longer, i'm sure some of the elders would have fallen over"

"i apologize" yuuji tells him, though he does not truly mean it. "my lady's father asked that i retrieve her" the lord seems to have remembered that you are actually present and turns that sleezy smile in your direction. then he reaches out to offer to shake yours as well. you take a miniscule step towards yuuji, and decline the offer with a shake of your head, a quiet no thank you on your lips.

the lord is clearly miffed by your refusal. his mask cracks, minutely, before repaired. "it's rude to refuse to shake a lords hand, my lady. has no one taught you this?"

immediately, yuuji is stepping forward. he doesn't like the way the lord speaks to you, clearly. the disgust in his voice. the sneer of his upturned nose.

"that is my future wife, and your queen" yuuji's says lowly, blood boiling. he cuts in front of you, glaring down sharply at the stout man. "i will not allow her to be disrespected, in front of me no less, as though she is a simple-minded animal"

"my apologies, my prince— i only meant that—"

"what is meant is what was said" snaps yuuji, catching the attention of several other passerby's at his outburst. he opens his mouth to say more, but is stopped by the brand of your fingers wrapping gently around his forearm. yuuji's voice dies in his throat, eyes glancing down to stare at your slender brown fingers against his skin.

you're touching him. your melodious voice melts his brain as you begin to speak. "it is alright yuuji, i take no offense"

"i apologize for my tone" the prince apologizes, turning to face you more openly now—uncaring as the man slips away with a hurried excuse. "i wasn't too much of a brute, i hope?"

you laugh. laugh. at something he's said. it's soft, but its undeniably there. today is beginning to be one of many surprises. "only the normal amount, my prince" you respond, though he can hear the jest in your tone.

a horn blows, more for his benefit than anyone else's. it is with great that yuuji must leave you—though he stands and watches you enter the tent with the rest of the women before joining the men for the hunt. he is terribly useless during it all, mind clearly wandering. he is teased far more than he would like about the obvious subject of the prince's distraction. the hunt is over a handful of hours later and the men return to camp carrying a boar and a handful of rabbits.

those who are married go to their wives. those who are not either chat up the few ladies who remain unwed, or talk amongst themselves. yuuji busies himself with searching for you. the prince knows you'll be alone and he begins to make a game of it—searching in many nooks and crannies around the clearing. and he does find you, a short while later.

or rather, it is you who finds him.

"i was looking for you" yuuji says, stating the obvious, once you quietly alert him to your presence. he can spot his own parents talking, sharing a drink as they laugh, caught in their own world. before he can think twice about it, the prince begins to imagine the two of you in such a scenario.

you hold a small box in your hands, ignoring his words as you deposit it softly into his hands. "i regret that i could not see you for your birthday" you explain, folding your hands into one another as you stare down at your feet to avoid his gaze. "i hope you like it yuuji, though if you do not, my feelings will not be hurt"

"i love it" yuuji says, even though he has yet to open it. you lift your head, quirking a brow at him. the prince is quick to amend himself. "i mean—i will love it. because you are the one who got it for me" he tears open the box quickly, uncaring of how eager and childish it might make him look.

it is a pocket watch. small and golden, engraved with vines. when he flicks it open, a simple message awaits him ; happy birthday, yuuji and signed with your name. the surface is smooth, and yuuji runs the pad of his thumb across the front again and again.

"you fidget, sometimes, with your pocket watch—when you are troubled, i think" you explain, looking up at him. the prince holds your gift in one hand, reaching down to his pants to tug the old one off the chain. the surface of the clock itself is cracked. "you visited our house for tea, and when you opened your watch to check the time i noticed it was cracked."

the gold of your gifted watch stares up at him. yuuji's face reflects in its surface and he feels oddly near tears. it is a simple gift. he has received more expensive things by a long shot. but nothing compares to the fact that you see him well enough to notice his habits. to notice something as minuscule as knowing he needs a new watch.

i can't wait to marry you is perhaps too loaded for this moment. the last thing he wants to do is scare you off. things are going so well. you've just begun to open up around him. his presence brings you serenity instead of the discomfort of a stranger. he has the rest of his life to tell you how he feels.

so instead, yuuji swallows, looks at you and says, "thank you"

--

the morning sun streams through open windows. yuuji, who usually sleeps with his back facing them for a reason—wakes with the light pressing against his eyes. with a displeasure hiss, he turns over only to find that the right hand side of the bed is empty. the prince, now married as of one day, sits up hurriedly in bed.

once his alert mind catches up to him, you're easily found. you lean against the balcony, looking down. the line of your body is tense, and your shoulders are square. yuuji imagines that for you, there is much to be unhappy about. he tries to remind himself that none of it is because of him.

quietly, so as not to startle you, yuuji calls out your name. he stands beside you, shoulders nearly touching. if the wind blew hard enough, he imagines he could feel the tense side of your body against his own. "early riser, i take it?" yuuji inquires, turning so that his back is pressed against the rails. he can get a better look at you this way.

your mouth pulls down into a soft frown. your fingers twist and pull at one another anxiously. "occasionally" you tell him. then, "when i cannot sleep"

"what troubles you?" asks the prince, just barely fighting to tack on a love at the end of it. not there yet, he reminds himself. not there, we're not there yet.

it is probably the wedding. you don't like attention at the best of times. but not even you could weasel your way out of this one. imagine―a crown princess hiding out from her own wedding. and how alienating it must be, to live in a place that is not your home, surrounded by people you do not know. yuuji absentmindedly traces his lips with his finger, recalling the chaste kiss pressed to them at the ceremony the day before. was there more he could have done, to ease your discomfort?

"we did not consummate the marriage" you explain softly. nervously, you pull at your fingers.

"you did not want to" reminds the prince, not unkindly, staring at you, trying to piece together what you really mean. "why would i force you to do something you do not wish to? it is cruel"

"i should have pushed past my discomforts" you whisper softly, staring down at your bare feet. "they may argue that our marriage is less legitimate if i cannot produce an heir—much less if word gets out that we did not...i do not want to cause you more worry" you finish, sounding so helpless it breaks his heart.

he has an inkling of what this is really about. for a moment, at the reception, your mother had pulled you away. you had left him with an uneasy smile on your face and returned to him so obviously crestfallen. he can't imagine what it is that she's said to you, what lies she's filled your head with.

yuuji steps closer, and gently covers your hand in his own. he turns it over in his palm, relishing in the fact that you do not move away. "if our positions were reversed, would you force me?"

you stare up at him with wide eyes. "...i would not"

"why do you insist on treating yourself so unkindly?" he says softly, brushing his thumb against your knuckles. "i only want to see you happy. i wish to bring you no discomfort, no pain. and i know you wish for me to be the same."

"children require a lot of effort, and take a toll on the mind, and the body" continues the prince. "we will not sire a child until you wish to, and not a moment before. it is you who i am wed to, not the court. the court will not be the one to carry the babe, you will"

you are silent for a long moment. the minutes stretch onwards, and your hand trembles where it rests against his own. a quiet sniffle, and then tears. yuuji stares, unsure of what to do.

"what if i am never ready?" you whisper wetly, looking away from him.

yuuji wants to kiss you. it's a thought that comes at the worst possible time—and shames him thoroughly. but it is true. yuuji wants to kiss you, and he wants to hold your hand, and show you so many wonderful things. things you deserve to have. that you should have already had. but he swallows, and pushes down the feeling.

"i still would not force you" he says truthfully, and it physically pains him to imagine a world where he would. another soft sob escapes you. it physically pains him to see you this way, like someone has stabbed him and left the wound open. "would you like to be held?" yuuji inquires softly.

he doesn't expect you take him up on it. but you do, nodding minutely before stumbling your way into his chest with a sniffle. it's a testament to how much you've grown, over the years. yuuji's arms wrap around you immediately, rubbing softly at the center of your back as quiet cooing noises leave his lips.

"...thank you" your soft cries have subsided, but yet you remain in his embrace. if you do not wish to move, then yuuji won't move you. he can feel you moving, can feel your chin digging into the center of his chest as you slowly blink up at him. tears clump your lashes. the prince brings his finger to your cheek to brush away the last of them.

"i am here for you" yuuji tells you, staring you in the eye so you know how serious he is about this. about you. "always"

you say nothing, only moving to tuck yourself back into his chest. yuuji can feel the way you breathe deeply, and the shuddery exhale that follows as you allow yourself to be comforted.

--

it has been nearly two months since then. and something almost...tangible has passed between the two of you. yuuji can feel it, in the heavy way you look at him. contemplative. questioning. though not in a malicious way. the opposite, really, considering there is no-one more incapable of malice than you.

and that is why yuuji is so afraid to ruin things. ruin them with his feelings, ones he isn't sure you return. afraid to ruin them by showing you that he is not as good as you surely think him to be. afraid to disappoint you.

yuuji's sure you've already noticed his mood as of late—sullen. brooding. clipped, one word answers. how he holes himself up in the council room, or in his office. and when he cannot contain his anger and frustration at the state of things, the training yards with the knights.

that is where he is now, when you find him. todo, one of the knights, has just swept him expertly off his feet. he lands ungracefully on his ass. with a groan, the prince pulls himself to his feet—uncertain now why the usual boisterous training yard has fallen silent.

his heart plummets to the bottom of his stomach when he finally spots you standing in the yard. you hold the skirt of your gown in light fists to protect it from getting soiled by the mud. the juxtaposition it creates—a delicate flower surrounded by dirt and grime.

"i tried calling for you" you say quietly, as the prince bounds to your side, leading you away from the dirt. he knows he must smell, yet you do well to keep your face cool and neutral. simply being in your presence is enough to begin to lift away the sour cloud that hovers above him. "i stood on the balcony. but you could not hear me. it is very loud here" you continue to explain, as if yuuji might somehow be upset with you for any of it.

"have you any need for me?" yuuji asks, cursing himself for being so filthy. if he were cleaner, perhaps you would be up to holding his hand again.

at this, you hesitate. but then the prince can physically see the way you steel your nerves, before raising your eyes to his and giving him one solemn nod.

"only your company" you tell him, so very obvious that you're forcing yourself not to look away. "but it seems i have caught you at an ill time. so it can wait until tomorrow—but i was...i was wondering if you would like to spend the day together?"

"yes, please" yuuji rushes out, before you can even finish. you look at him in surprise, for a quick moment. like you can't believe he had agreed. "today, works. i just need to bathe quickly—"

you give him a small, fond smile, tilting your head to show that you're listening attentively. yuuji's mouth clamps shut and he feels himself turning red.

by now, the both of you have reached your shared chambers. and so, there is no real need for yuuji to stammer out a shaky, "i will be only a moment. to bathe. if that does not set our plans too far back"

but he does. stammer, he means, and you only send him another one of your soft smiles. your hands are clasped lightly at your front. really, you look none at all inconvenienced. "i will wait here for you" you say—gesturing to the bedroom.

"alright" yuuji croaks, and proceeds to set records for fastest bath ever taken. you stand close, much closer than usual, as the two of you exit the chambers. the prince tries not to let the proximity of your body heat ruin his life. he fails. how is it that your presence alone sends him spiraling, but is the only balm for said malady?

and then his brain really does short-circuit once you close the little distance between you. your left arm loops through his right one—but you keep your gaze trained forwards. steadily so. "i am not being too forward?" you ask, refusing to look at him.

"not at all." a gaggle of maids smile as you both pass. yuuji places his hand over the one currently curled around his bicep. he is stiff, almost, as you lead him where you please.

eventually, the two of you end up in another one of the castles gardens. this one is smaller, more private. out on the veranda are two chairs and an easel.

"you mean to paint my portrait" yuuji says, quite dumbly—feeling his face get hot. his palms itch and he feels sweaty, all of a sudden. he's thankful now that you aren't holding his hand.

"if you do not oppose" you wager and you both are looking away from each other now. "i am good at it. i wouldn't make you look like a horrid beast"

it's meant to be a joke. and yuuji takes it, laughing a lot harder than he should for such a little quip. but the corners of your mouth turn up slightly in satisfaction.

"what would you have done, if i had not agreed?" yuuji inquires, departing from your warmth. not that he would have.

you take your place by the easel, holding a pencil in your hand as you begin to sketch the shape of his head—the drape of his wonderful sandy hair. "i would have painted the other chair"

yuuji makes a noise, and laughter peals from his throat so hard that he loses his careful position. you sketch furiously now, concentrated and he realizes that you are trying to capture his laughter.

your head pokes around the easel, brows knit. "you have so many facial expressions."

"that's a good thing, i hope" yuuji replies, feeling his face flush at the way you stare at him. the levelness of your gaze and the relaxation that settles into your bones.

"i have never seen something so alive before" you murmur softly, more to yourself than to him. your eyes dart just west of his face. they dart away again, just as quick. you move to mix your paints now. "i want to be alive like you are"

you are alive yuuji wants to say. painfully so. people just do not care to stay long enough to see it. but he does. he has. yuuji has been there, every step of the way—watching you blossom underneath his hands and eyes. a choked, panicked sound erupts from his throat. your eyes snap up, alarmed.

"...forgive me" you apologize, just as yuuji says, "i am in love with you"

both of you freeze. the ornate palette in your hand hovers in midair, awkwardly close to the easel.

"i have tried to hide it" yuuji whispers at last, when you do not say anything at all. he pretends to pull at a very determined thread in his pants, avoiding your eyes. "and i have tried not to pressure you.i—in anyway. you do not have to return my feelings"

out of his peripheral, he can see see the way your face pulls and twists. "how do you know?" you aren't disgusted. he hadn't expected that you would be. he knew you wouldn't. you aren't the type. but still the fear had clung to him like a second skin anyway.

"i think of you often. i see you everywhere, even when you are not present" yuuji starts, swallowing thickly as you continue to paint. "i have always seen you. since i was a boy. i want you to feel safe, and happy. anything that pleases you, pleases me in turn. when you hurt, i am hurt as well."

you choose not to say anything towards that for a moment. the silence is killing him. yuuji is practically vibrating in his chair.

"i have always wondered, what that feeling felt was called" you murmur softly, looking at him so clearly now. you place your brush down onto your palette, squeezing at the bodice of your dress—over your heart. "i have known very little happiness in my life. and i thought you...i thought you would be like the rest. and yet you have shown me the complete opposite of my expectations. you possess such goodness. it's a rare trait for most to have"

"if that is called love, then that is what i feel for you" you say determinedly, and yuuji had forgotten what it was that he was so upset about in the first place.

surprisingly, after that, the two of you don't talk about it. not openly. he doesn't need you too, he realizes. over the next few weeks, you continue to work on his portrait. yuuji doesn't understand much about painting and art in general—but what he knows is that you've already reached the point of needing him to sit for you. and yet, that doesn't stop you from offering anyway.

always, magically, you seem to sense that he needs a reprieve from the life of the almost-king. you pull him away into your world, where everything is peaceful and calm and quiet. it's different, from the times where he's had his portrait as a boy. he had always assumed he had been too restless, too energetic to sit still for so many hours.

and yet, whenever you tell him that you are finished for the day, yuuji is surprised to find how much time has passed. his body prickles, waking up. he gets so lost in watching you or daydreaming about you or some combination of the two that the time flies.

he's almost...saddened, when you finally finish it for good. you've sent for a few servants to carry it off into the dayroom—covered by a tarp. yuuji will be the only other person to see it. there's almost this, apprehensive look to you, brimming with excitement as your hands pull off the tarp.

"do you like it?" you ask, gazing at him with your wide brown eyes.

he is only half-aware of dropping his lemon tart to the ground. you've painted him in this half-surprised, half-joyful expression. but there's indescribable fondness in there too. there's the parting of his mouth—as if he is only waiting to exhale a breath. there's ruddiness to his cheeks and his eyes seem to be trained towards something just out of reach of the frame.

how long has he stared at you, for his gaze to be always trained towards you—even when immersed in a painting?

"is this is how you see me?" he asks, brown eyes darting from you to the portrait again, amazed.

you sidle up next to him, standing so close that yuuji has to wrap an arm around your shoulders, anchoring you to his side. "that's how you have always looked at me"

--

it's nearing your second anniversary. yuuji has your gift (s) hidden away in his study—where he is now. a collection of things he's found on his occasional travel throughout the kingdom. a yellow and blue day dress with gorgeous golden lace and flowing sleeves. he's always liked you in yellow, and the fabrics feel soft to the touch. ones he'll know you prefer to feel against your skin.

a very large tome about insects, seeing that you've finished what little the castle libraries have on the topic. a journal with a clasped lock, embroidered with pretty vines. so that you can jot down your findings and recite them to him later.

you've recently gotten into calligraphy, and yuuji had procured you nice pens which the vendor promised were prefer for the art. and finally, two tickets for the sleeping beauty ballet—on the last day of its showing, when there are guaranteed to be less people attending.

a little overboard perhaps, considering the fact that yuuji stops and gets you a gift no matter where he is. even if it is as simple as a rose. but he can't help but spoil you. you deserve it. and his reward is the delighted expression you make, and the soft breathless thank you, that passes your lips—ever sweet and genuine.

your fist knocks gently on his door. yuuji makes sure that your gifts are out of sight before telling you to enter. you do, but do not cross into his study. yuuji's brow quirks at the odd behavior. you hang onto the doorframe, grip tight.

"dear?" he inquires, standing up with a start. "is something wrong?"

you shake your head. "n-no. there isn't. i just. i'm ready."

a puzzled look befalls him, trying to discern your meaning. "ready for what?" you only stare imploringly at him. it hits him all at once, what you mean. what if i am never ready? his face turns bright red. "now?" he confirms.

"please" you warble "if you want—"

"of course i want to, love" yuuji interjects, before you can get in your head about it. he steps out from behind his desk, pushing aside the work he planned to finish before bed. his palm settles on the small of your back, guiding you back into the bedroom. further still, so that your bottom lands on the bed.

yuuji crawls in after you, gently pulling you forwards. his hand cups the side of your face—like he has so many times before, eyes fluttering shut as your mouths meet in a soft kiss. you seem to melt in it, bringing your arm up and around his shoulders. he pulls away, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before diving back in for another. and another, and a dozen more.

you squirm against him and sparks light up down his spine. yuuji's hand toys with the short sleeve of your silken fabric of your nightgown before pulling away. he needs both hands for this, untying the lacing for his breeches and top—but unwilling to separate from your mouth.

he tugs himself, almost impatiently, out of his shirt. it pulls the softest sound of laughter from your lips and yuuji nearly moans at the feeling of your hands pressing against his bare chest. your hand darts away at the sound—but yuuji intercepts the touch, pulling you back in.

yuuji dives back in for another kiss, tilting his head to deepen it as your hands curl up at the front of his chest. the two of you languidly kiss for a few more minutes as the arousal begins to slowly pool in both of your bodies. your hips twitch, bucking unconsciously against the hardness of his cock against your thigh.

his hand slides up the side of your body, once against playing with your nightgown. "lets get this off" he suggests softly, gently—like his isn't itching to feel your bare skin. you agree with a soft noise of consent, and a breathy okay, yuuji before you allow him to undo the lacings at the back of your nightgown.

he bunches it up at the bottom, knuckles skimming along your thighs before slowly pulling it up, up, up. his mouth waters as each inch of tantalizing skin is revealed to his eyes. he's never seen so much of you before, body usually covered by your dresses and underskirts. gently, yuuji presses you down against the bedding, bracketing your body with his own as his hand cups your supple breast.

untouched and unused to anyone touching you in such a way, you squirm, a soft sound leaving your lips as yuuji fondles your breast in his warm hand.

"is this okay?" he asks, kissing you again.

you nod, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. his thigh slides between your legs, and he can feel the dampness of your panties. his thumb circles around your nipple, dragging his lips from your lips to your jaw and then down to your neck.

use your words, love, gently admonishes yuuji. i need to know if i'm hurting you.

"okay" you say softly, giving him a pleasured little sigh that doesn't do anything but make his cock ache. "yuujji—that feels good"

your skin pebbles underneath the touch. a moment later, and your nipple is stiff, pressing up against his fingers. yuuji switches to your other breast, angling his body to pull the right back into his mouth. his other hand splays across the warm skin of your stomach, skirting further down to your panty-clad mound.

there's a damp spot against the fabric. yuuji groans around your nipple at the feeling. wet already, and he's done nothing major but play with your breasts and kiss you until your both dizzy. he's going to make you feel so good. yuuji pulls away from your nipple with a wet pop!, fingers pushing your panties to the side as his fingers lightly trace through your folds.

the shape is familiar, and the sound of your moan echoes in his ears as he places the memory of the anatomy model against the real thing. yuuji studies your face, watching and cataloguing which touches make you squirm. which ones make you moan. and which ones make breathless exhales of his name pass through your lips.

you seem to like it best when he starts from the bottom, dragging two of his fingers around your entrance before skirting back up to press firm circles onto your hooded clit. your hips twitch and buck—seeking more friction.

"i'm going to put one in now" yuuji murmurs, spreading your thighs nice and wide for him. he can feel you stiffen up slightly and that won't do. his kisses you again, rubbing quickly on your clit to get your legs to fall open once more. he presses in, tucking his face against the crook of your neck to groan at the tightness of your cunt.

your hips squirm and wriggle, cunt clenching wetly around the intrusion for a moment. trying to push his finger out, before greedily sucking him in. your arms circle around his head, nails lightly scraping against his shoulder and back.

he fingers you slowly, pulling all the way out before pushing back in steadily. his cock is rock hard now and he can't help but to softly grind his cock against your body. "th—that feels good"

"yeah?" yuuji asks, sliding a second in along the first. "how does this feel? too much?"

you shake your head, biting at your lip again. and then you remember yuuji's earlier admonish, gasping out a "no-no. please don't stop" that has him nipping at your skin in deep curling satisfaction. he alternates between stretching you out, scissoring your cunt and between thrusting in an out two fingers becomes three and by the time he works you up to four, your so desperate for it that your thighs tremble and shake―toes curling.

"am, am i not ready now?" you ask, drool escaping your mouth. your eyes fly down to meet his own and the lust that reflects in them has him pulling his fingers out with a rush, licking them clean.

you rise up from the bed enough to help him out of his breeches and underwear, lying back down and spreading your legs. yuuji settles back between them, feeling your warm thighs underneath his hands―the heated supple flesh.

at the last moment, his hand darts out to grab one of the pillows, shoving it underneath your hips. at your questioning look, yuuji turns slightly pink for an entirely different reason.

"i've read that it helps with the penetration. makes it easier for a maidens first time" he explains softly, idly rubbing at your thigh to calm you. "and i'll reach deeper inside―which will feel really good"

it's your turn now, to wear an expression of slightly embarrassment. yuuji's body brackets yours more fully now and he begins to guide himself inside your sticky cunt. a soft, almost pained sound escapes you, replaced by another drawn out one. "you've...been reading?"

he's caught between watching your face and watching his cock sink inside inch after inch. "i inquired about it with your physician. she informed me that female pleasure requires more than male pleasure and―breathe love, there you go, you're doing so well―oh god, you feel so good."

his words bite off, snapping his hips forward and burying the last few inches inside of you with a groan. you yelp, thighs shutting before cracking open again, blinking up at him with wide eyes. you breathe, like he's told you to, visible as you settle around the sudden stretch.

"it doesn't hurt" you murmur quietly, like you can't quite believe it. your eyes go back up towards his face, hand settling around his bicep. "wh-what were you going to say?"

"your physician." yuuji starts, and then stops. his brows crinkle, and his hand trembles in the bedding with the effort it takes to hold still and not to just go wild. "she pointed me to a few books about female anatomy and pleasure―is it alright if i move now?"

you process his words, before nodding. a meek, "yes, please" falls from your lips and no sooner is he pulling out and pushing back in. a squeaky little noise leaves you, shadowed by yuuji's own moan as your tight cunt grips him. practically greedy, the way it's sucking him back in.

he understands now. why men go to war for their women. why they fight so hard and for so long, brutal. anything to be able to come back to this. he's never understood the appeal for sex―why men were so desperate to sleep with someone.

though you aren't just anyone. you're his wife, his sweet wife, nails pricking at his shoulders as his hips snap up to meet your own wriggling hips, little ah ah ah's leaving your lips, eyes fluttering shut and opening again. he feels that fondness bubbling up in his chest, love spilling out into each thrust into your sopping cunt, each fevered i love you, uttered into your skin.

yuuji leans forward to nip at your skin, sucking a mark along your collarbone when you make a loud moan, body seizing up like someone had just poured liquid fire over you. afraid that he's hurt you, yuuji pauses, lifting his head from the crux of your neck and shoulder―panic on his features.

you're quick to reassure him of the opposite. slurring, "no, noplease, please don't stop. please―" and he realizes, sort of late, that he's hit your spot.

"it's okay, sweetheart, love, i'm not stopping" yuuji promises, angling his hips and nailing that spot head-on. you make a litany of noises now, legs wrapped tightly around his waist and nails scrabbling along his back.

he loses himself in the feeling of your velvet heat. the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your round bottom fills the bedroom and the creaking of the bed adds a filthy undercurrent to the way yuuji is pleasuring you. he can feel your cunt clenching around him, throbbing and you're just as close as he is.

his mouth blindly finds yours, though the sloppy kiss is more tongue and teeth than any of the gentle finesse from earlier. yuuji props himself up on his elbow, driving his cock into you again and again, ramming against your g-spot―before slowing down into a sensual roll that has your hips lifting off the bed, chasing after him for more friction. his hand snakes down your body, returning to your clit.

it only takes a few more quick, rough circles on your sensitive nub for your body to tighten up and release, reaching out for him and panting out broken syllables of his name. it's a sound he won't ever be able forget.

yuuji pulls out, hand around his aching cock. jerking once and then twice, painting your thighs and cunt in thick stripes of hot seed. he collapses into bed beside you, curling around your naked body.

"was that your first time too?" you ask, turning to face him. though, its more like your face is in his chest and a moment later he can feel you mouth at the skin of his neck. it tickles, and he laughs, throat dry.

his hand rubs at your back, like he can't quite be separated from you just yet. nerves still thrumming with energy. he's decided that he'll follow after you into the bath, if you're comfortable with it. that'll be nice. bathing with you.

"it was" yuuji assures, gazing down at you. "i wanted you to be my first―if you wanted to at all." his first and his only. for the rest of his days. for as long as he's known you, he's been entranced. first with figuring you out, then with learning you overtime. and now simply, with being with you for the rest of his life.

a fond look passes over your face. you look just as fond as he does, smitten out of your mind. "i must make every woman in the kingdom extremely jealous, to have the heart of such a good man"

he's willing to argue that he's the luckier one. but exhaustion befalls your face, and you curl up further against him. moments later, you're deeply asleep.

the prince, nearly king now, presses a kiss to your slacken lips and follows you off into slumber.

© amalainse -- do not copy, steal or plagiarize my works.