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Lost my job and I can't help feel a tiny bit of joy.
Like, yes, I'm worried about what the future will bring and the challenges that will come with that.
But... Guys... I suddenly have time to be a person. Of course, I'll be filling out applications and walking to stores to check and apply to job openings.
But that also means, that I have time to read, watch a movie or show, go to the beach or river, take long walks in the park with my dog, etc., ect., ect.
I've been working like a crazy person for 11 years. Barley taking vacations or being able to live experiences that I want. I dragged my ass to work while being so sick that I was barely breathing. So depressed that I had to seek help because I was unsafe for myself and others.
This moment, this situation that has me in tears, suddenly feels like the most liberating thing I've ever experienced.
I should be scared. I should be horribly terrified. But I just feel... Relief. I can breathe. I... I feel like I can start over.
Maybe these feelings will change quickly. They might turn into terror at the end of the month. But... I want to sit with this for a bit. I want to dream of a life in which I'm not struggling to exist...
Is this what I needed to redirect my life again... This time for the better?