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Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if there was no patriarchy, no gender roles, no men.
I imagine I'd be more secure in myself. I would be less afraid to allow my body to exist as it naturally is. I could jump into a lake shirtless and never feel the real or imagined lingering eyes on my back. There would be no "man-peering-through-the-keyhole" psychological phenomenon women experience - the urge to always be palatable to the male gaze. I could feel completely comfortable cutting all my hair off in the summer so I could comfortably tend to my garden without sweat dripping from my hair. There would be no "does this hairstyle fit my face" bullshit that men interestingly never subject themselves to. I would walk home alone at night in the city and I wouldn't feel the urge to check behind me every minute. I could stretch my arms high in the air without the urge to immediately put them back down lest others see that I am human enough to grow body hair - to be human as a woman in this world is to be a beast - I could lay on the warm sands of a beach without the urge to cover my legs with a towel for the same reason. I wouldn't ever feel anxiety when making connections with other women because I would know with confidence they won't sell me out for a corn chip of validation from the patriarchy, because there wouldn't be one. Other women wouldn't look down on me for existing against the grain. And there wouldn't be the other kind of human to beat, rape or kill me for the same. Other women wouldn't be pushing their daughters, themselves, or me to conform to the identity of "decorative object to be oggled" because there would never have been anyone to start the demand.
I could rip my clothes off and grow my claws, my fangs. I could become the beast I'm meant to be. I could run to a hilltop with my sisters under a full moon and dance around a fire while we howl "This is freedom! This is freedom! This is freedom!" We could laugh heartily, loudly. We could feast decadently on all the delicious things we deny ourselves. We could take up all of the space we desire. We could love - truly love - one another and the Earth. Life would flourish.
I am deeply saddened that will never be the world.