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Alana: I don't want to control everything!
Alana: I just want people and events to mold to my desire!!
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Jared: I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
Connor: If your still alive at 80, I will demand a medical explanation.
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Evan: Would you please not Jared this into a worse situation than it already is?
Jared: Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb??
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Evan: We're having another moment, aren't we?
Jared: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
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Zoe: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Connor: You say that so much that at this point it's lost all of it's meaning.
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Connor: Frankly, I would say I'm gayer than you.
Jared: How are you gayer than I am?
Connor: Well, I wear a man purse.
Jared: That's not gay! That's hideous! And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that!
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Jared, about Evan: I don't have a crush on him. He's just someone I stare at and I like and when he's not here, it ruins my day.
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Evan: Why do you always turn everything into a joke?
Jared: Generally, it's to avoid confronting the very real and difficult issues that most proper adults have to deal with.
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Evan: Hey, Connor, can I get some dating advice?
Connor: Just because I'm with Miguel doesn't mean I know how I did it.
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Evan: Be careful!
Jared: I always am.
Connor: Respectfully disagree.
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Jared: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?!
Zoe: It's kind of complicated. But Evan-
Jared: Got it. Forget I asked.
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Zoe, about Alana: It's werd... I just.. I like her. Much.
Evan:
Evan: You
Evan: You like her much???
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Zoe: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for you.
Miguel: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for fun!!
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Connor: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
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Evan: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.
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Jared: *Mindlessly flirting with Evan*
Evan: *Actually flirts back*
Jared:
Evan:
Evan: You're not gonna say anything?
Jared, panicking: I don't know. I didn't think I'd ever actually get this far.
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Evan: What's the dumbest thing that you believed as a child?
Jared: That naptimes were a punishment.
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Jared: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Evan: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!
Jared: What? No! Four to five!
Evan: Too late!
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Miguel: I drink to forget, but I always remember...
Connor:
Connor: You're drinking orange juice.
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Connor: Coffee or tea?
Evan: Tea.
Connor: Wrong. It's coffee.
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Jared: I left instructions for everyone for while I'm gone.
Evan: Mine just says 'Evan, no.'
Jared: Yes, and I want you to apply that to every situation ever.
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Miguel: What's the name of that guy that lives down the hall?
Connor: His cat's names are Fifi and Abigail.
Miguel: That's not what I asked?
Connor: That is all the information I have
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Jared: We tried things your way.
Connor: No we didn't.
Jared: ...I did it in my head and it didn't work out.
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Zoe, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast,
Jared: You're kinda ugly.
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Miguel: I'm the kind of person who likes to think things through!
Connor: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire.
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Zoe: This is so frustrating! I hate everything, I hate everybody!
Evan: ...Everybody?
Zoe, sighing: Everybody but you.
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Evan: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Connor: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!