Deadpool Imagine - Blog Posts

hey! If ur still writing could u write more deadpool x platonic reader headcannons! 🫶

Platonic deadpool headcanons are coming right up!

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It's likely you met him through a job, at the bar, or through the X-Men

After Vanessa, he's very cautious when becoming friends with non-mutants. If that's the case, then it just takes some more time to get under his skin literally or metaphorically.

If you're capable enough to come with him on his jobs, he doesn't mind the company as long as you stay out of his way when he needs it.

There was once you'd walked right in front of him as he did a "super hero landing," and he'd turned to the side going. "You see this guys he ruined the shot!" He'd whined. "Wade, who are you talking to?" You'd asked, and he shook his head. "The wall... literally." You walked right in front of my landing!" You'd shrugged. "Oopsss."

From then on, you would give him a bit before you walked closer. "There we go! So badass!" He'd shouted once.

"Hey, do you know where my second gun-" He'd walked over to ask you and seeing you about to shoot someone. He'd gasped, pulling out his own gun. "Gang bang!" And you both shot the person at the same time.

"Hehe get it? Gang-bang?"

You didn't get to see his face for the first few months knowing him, and after getting in a rough spot with Al, he'd come to move in with you for a bit.

It was early morning when he'd stumbled in the kitchen, maskless, and watched your back turned making your own breakfast. "What's shakinnn baconnn?" You'd turned with a smile making Avocado toast. "Oh just avoca-" You'd noticed his maskless face and had stopped but raised an eyebrow at him, glaring at your toast. "The fuck is your problem?" He huffed walking of with a mumble of, "stupid avocados, stupid weasel." You were perplexed by that until Wes had busted out laughing when you'd mentioned it and he explained.

Walked back in your apartment covered in blood and immediately ripped his mask off, throwing his guns and other weapons on the couch before grabbing his unicorn. "I'm using your shower...then unicorn timeee~" He'd said in a showtuney voice and dodged when you threw the TV remote at him. "Fucking gross dude you don't need to announce that."

It was a little sad when he went back to Blind Al's place, but also he'd thought you'd want your place back. "Nah, dude, that place has seen so many blood stains you were right at home." You'd said one night when you'd caught up at the bar. "Oh, Metal Balls showed up looking for you, so be on the lookout for shiny Jesus as a Jehova's witness for the X-men." He huffed a laugh at the comment but then groaned. "Want to join me on my next job then?" "Fuck yeah Wilson!"

Okay I know its, like, the end of fucking July but I read your most recent deadpool hcs and now I HAVE to get the low down on how he celebrates Halloween with his s/o. Like imagine him literally ripping off his arm as part of the costume and constantly getting complimented on how "real" it looks lmao

Ok so Halloween is like my favorite holiday EVER, so the way I rushed to do this when I finally saw your ask.

He's so hype for Halloween because he can just go out as himself and not feel bad about how he looks.

Totally dressed up as Freddy Krueger just because he didn't have to do much work to make it look good.

He kept joking that he was now on par with wolverine because he did get the Kruger claws.

Another time he went as a zombie and just ripped one of his armsboff just to keep pointing at everything with it

"Accidentally" slapped someone with his dismembered limb.

He always gets so many complaints about how good he looks so that does make him feel slightly better about himself.

He kept trying to get you to dress in his Deadpool suit but you said no because "that thing is practically threaded together with cocaine at this point"

If you guys aren't walking around but instead handling out candy to kids he'll get on the roof and jump down at a lot of them.

"hey honey it's almost time to go!" You yelled towards Wade referring to a party you both were invited to a party at the academy by Colossus.

He groaned throwing on the green and red striped sweater. "It's probably gonna be boring though! I mean it's mainly going to be smart assed kids and adults with sticks up their asses!" He shouted back coming over to where you were pulling you to him by your waist. "Maybe we can just stay here instead and have our own fun."

Laughing you pushed him back. "We can have our fun later, for right now I know you love Halloween so we are going to go to this damned party. Plus don't you want to spike the punch or something." You said opening a cabinet that had stored alcohol.

He gasped offended. "I would never do such a thing! How did you even know that was in there? Not that I put it in there or anything." Leaning over you as he spoke you closed the cabinet.

You scoffed at him looking him up and down. "You totally would and you know it! You "accidentally," you held up your fingers to make a quoting gesture, "put cocaine on some donuts saying it was powdered sugar and them gave them to Logan!"

He crossed his arms with a laugh. "Yeah but I know he won't die from something like that so technically it was all in good fun!" He started laughing harder at the memory of Logan being hunched over for a bit from consuming that much of the drug in that way.

You stifled your own laughter trying to reprimand him for his actions. "Alright it was admittedly a bit funny, but there's going to be children there this year so he careful." You warned him walking over and wrapping your arms around him.

"Alright fine I won't pull to many stunts if that makes you feel better. But I better get a reward for playing nice." He grumbled picking you up to place you on the counter.

You shrugged your shoulders pulling him in by his shirt collar. "I don't know maybe if you're on your best behavior I'll give you one." You murmured against his lips before crashing yours to his.

He pulled you closer to himself wrapping your legs around his waist before kissing you back with fervor. He pulled away smirking at you "can't keep your hands off me for long can you?"

You rolled your eyes pushing him off and hopping off the counter. "Nope not when it comes to you Wade, now let's get to that party!"

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Deadpool's reaction to s/o wanting to learn sarcasm as they don't understand it.

I honestly admit I have no clue how to write for this ask so I did my best. Please let me know if it is not sufficient.

"you don't understand sarcasm?" Wade asked in response to you not understanding a sentence he has said. "Well I didn't mean that literally. Sarcasm is kind of like expressing that you don't like something without outright saying it I guess? Or just a way to mess with someone." He shrugged wrapping his arms around you from behind snaking his hands into your shirt. "I actually don't quite know how to explain it.

You nodded your head turning around to face him. "So is it kinda like the phrase "no shit Sherlock?" If so it's just a way to annoy someone or just to add more sass to a comment?" You looked down to where he stuffed his face into your stomach.

He lifted his head up slightly to meet your questioning stare. "I mean yeah I suppose that makes sense. I actually don't know how to explain it. Kinda just comes naturally to me." He muttered putting his head under your shirt this time. He chuckled darkly before starting to blow raspberries against your belly.

You started giggling taking your arms from around him to instead try and push him away. "Wade enough quit that!" You said in between breaths as he lifted you up throwing you on the couch. "I'm serious quit tickling me!"

"you see as much as I'd love to do that," he paused leaning up to tap his lip, "quite frankly I don't want to!" He shouted reaching his hands back under your shirt to resume his ministrations. "Oh there you go that's an example of sarcasm! I actually wouldn't love to stop tickling you!"

You grabbed his face pulling him down to kiss you and he stopped in his tracks. "Ok lesson learned professor now will you please quit?" You peered up at him sweetly.

He smirked placing both of his hands on the sides of your head. "Now when you ask like that how could I say no?" He murmurs leaning down to kiss you again before moving kisses down your jaw to your neck....

As short as that was I hope it suffices. Apologies for being so late!