Dad Jokes - Blog Posts

I have made what I think is the shitty-est dad joke in existence and I love it

So I'm in hell (the nether in Minecraft) with my friends, yah know the usual. So this one friend and I come across a Bastion which results in lots of screaming on my part and death for the both of us but as we’re exploring trying to find our way around I found a random loot chest with a banner in it which my friend gets  hyped about and asks if he can have it. So as he comes and finds me so I can hand it off I make the passing comment of ‘it’s like Bruce’ ... like the banner, like Bruce Banner. This is what I mean by shitty as in actually shitty not just its so shitty it’s funny shitty. Anyway my friend gets what I mean and finds it kinda funny in a pain way cause he’s a nerddd so at least there’s that.

Sometimes you pause and realize life can be a bit odd

And sometimes that happens when you're teaching your 72 year old father how to remove foundation and concealer

Sh!t I hear in the Music Store

D: Have you heard of Wild Wood?

C: Yeah I have that every morning

update

the same teacher : "joe, are you lost?"

my friend : "no, he is joe sir"

my friend pulled a dad joke on an english A-level teacher

hello. do you aspire to be like a classmate of mine who has the audacity to ask "do you know what idioms mean sir?" to an english teacher who teaches A-level english?

cause i definitely do.

that jump was CLEAN

{:<

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!

Fallen

No…ok so listen *massages forehead* For the last time. I didn't “fall” in love. This was a premeditated attack!

I was tripped because let me tell you…I DiDnT fALl wILliNgLy!

This was not my fault! Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?!

✨📓Story time📓✨

Featuring @anobodyinabog

Just a little snippet based off a conversation with me and friend talking about our plans for Spring Break. I had asked for a list of her favorite snacks because ✨RoAdTrIp BaBy✨ and she had mentioned Goldfish.

I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I looked at her, and I could see the moment of realization in her horror filled eyes.

And I, ever true to my Jayus nature, without mercy, looked up with a grin and said without hesitation, “ Yo girl is your name Goldfish? Cuz you’re the snack that smiles back.” 😏😉👉🏼👉🏼

Needless to say the conversation ended shortly thereafter. She started to walk out 😆

CP’s dad jokes

‘’That’s like.. The fourth time this week BEN..’’ Don’t mess with E.J when he’s hungry!