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This parallel between Red, white and royal blue & From Blood and Ash-
"You see, for me, memories are difficult. Very often, they hurt. A curious thing about grief is the way it takes your entire life, all those foundation years that made you who you are, and makes them so painful to look back upon because of the absence there, that suddenly they're inaccessible. You must invent an entirely new system."
And
"You just replace your last memory - a bad one - with a new one - a good one - and you keep doing that until the initial one no longer outweighs the replacement."