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Character Interaction: Vette
To Vette, Crodek is very off putting, because he he values her and treats her with more dignity then she’s accustomed too. While still being very much a Sith and dangerous killing machine. Sure Crodek is decent enough to her but he hasn’t truly freed her.
This man bargained with Vette for her freedom and did give it to her. Only when on his ship where it’s assured that she has no where else to go.
Crodek very much considers Vette his property, so in his mind he wants to grow her as much as possible. This gives him a vested interest in her well being. Which was part of the reason he removed the slave collar with the other reason being a demonstration how he keeps his word.
Vette understandably feels stifled by this behavior. So she holds her ground by using jokes and commentary to point out the holes in his logic. This aggressive sort of verbal grappling does actually end developing both of them into more competent and sure individuals.
This dynamic of those will continue to unfold and perhaps Crodek may grow enough to fully give Vette her freedom. At the moment it seems unlikely that Crodek will romance Vette as they’re busy enough as frenemies.
Tharan Cedrax Dynamics
Tharan plays the role of adversary to Elvira. He is always the first to question her methods. They spend a lot of time bickering, knocking the other down, only poke them back up into standing. He gets her to question herself and she is able to the same for him.
The thing that really makes this dynamic work is that fundamental both are chasing the same thing. Truth. Tharan does so as scientist and Elvira as Jedi. So even though there approaches are quite different, they still are still pursuing the same thing.
Elvira treasures that she can have intellectual sparing matches with him. He is the one who is most eager to play a card/board game or debate. Because of this he can grow her in a way that the other crew members can’t.
He does have a lot of faults which Elvira and the rest of the crew are definitely aware of. True to path as jedi shadow Elvira’s just gives Tharan little nudges to act more selflessly. Where he is shallow, she is deep. Tharan is able to pull her out the weight of the force to be more present it the moment. Which something Elvira needs.
@lily-claw Told you I love the spider lily lady
I studied her
A lil bit
So here's the sketches
Now a bit of explainations on the text there. I just tried to imagine like she's kinda flower inspired, so why I don't give her kinda petal-like lashes??? (Gives me a bit of Furina vibes)
And you mentioned that she can reincarnate and stuff and I suddenly remember Noragami (the system is kinda similar but as I got it yours works without memory loss??) baby Jusa is just too adorable 🤧🤧🤧
And yeah I had a hard time figuring out how her hair works, but here we are I beat it into shape 😈😈😈
And your lore and the tons of reference pics you offered helped. so. much
angst drops tomorrow. your consolation will be the end chapters of “it’ll be alright” and eventually the br’aad/ugarth pairing i mention in the new poll. and sure the riptide thing too. eventually. i guess.
CALLING ALL GAY PEOPLE AND JRWI BITCHES
Dante @ everyone and everything all the time.
(I'm playing dmc4 again. However, I can draw to a manageable degree now, so this is everyone's problem.) 😈
About their memories. Annabel lee isn't just going backwards and lenore forward; Annabel is remembering faster and more compared to lenore
Moreover Annabel remembers the trivial memories, the supposedly less important ones.
For example Lenore would remember Annabel's first and last visits while Annabel would remember lenore showing up as Leo and a casual picnic together.
So basically lenore remembers being inlove with Annabel while Annabel remembers falling inlove with Lenore.
It's why Annabel is so hopelessly devoted and lenore isn't. Lenore remembers Annabel saying she wants her to have a better life even if she(Annabel) is forced into needlepoint. Annabel remembers the why
As much as I hate saying it; I think this is all because Annabel was more attached in life, that she loved lenore more than lenore loved her and it carried into Nevermore.
The master post of my Nevermore analysis
This post has links to all the extensive reviews I've written about Nevermore (webtoon) so it doesn't get lost in the depths of the internet. I'll update it as I write more and I'm going to try to maintain some degree of order in this mess.
Another detail: if you see that some of these reviews contradict each other or are not entirely consistent with each other, it is because I write them as the comic progresses, so it is very possible that one or more of them end up being outdated, but anyway I think it's worth keeping them.
An unnecessarily detailed analysis
These are practically vignette by vignette revisions of certain scenes or moments of the comic.
An incessantly detailed analysis of the (re)encounter between Annabel and "Leo"
An unnecessarily detailed analysis of the (re)encounter between Annabel and "Leo" (part II)
An unnecessarily detailed analysis of Lenore's face when she realizes how gay she is
Literary analysis
Reviews of Nevermore from the perspective of literary theory.
Nevermore is a gothic tragedy. Part I: Classical and Shakespearean Tragedy
Nevermore is a gothic tragedy. Part II: Supernatural Brides
Character Study
These are character analyses. Some of them could fit in the previous category, but I decided to leave them aside because they are much more specific.
Annabel Lee Whitlock: The Hypocrite, the Vampire and the Femme Fatale. A review of archetypes
Lenore Vandernatch: the rogue, the gothic heroine and the courtly knight. A review of archetypes
Montresor is the Bad Ending of White Raven
Montresor is the Bad Ending of White Raven II: Electric Bogaloo
Montresor (and Willtresor) is the Bad Ending of White Raven III: now it is personal
I think the Deans are fucking Lovecraftian gods
Nevermore themed cocktails
Fun fact: I'm a cocktail/mixology aficionado, here are some cocktail recipes based on Nevermore.
Note: the knowledge required for the preparation of mocktails is very different from the knowledge required for the preparation of cocktails. Therefore, while I may occasionally upload non-alcoholic versions of these cocktails, I may not always have the skills to make the transfer from one to the other.
Harlequin
Posh Besties
Stolen Moments
Stolen Moments (mocktail version)
The box of cookies (which has no cookies)
Here's basically whatever nonsense I've burned more time on than I should and don't want it to go to waste.
A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD
Something that's almost never acknowledged by jd readers (yes this is a character study)
A popular belief from s1 is that Jackson beat up exer because of what he did to pamela, however that's not actually right
If you go back to read prior to the fight you'll realize that Jackson was never really pissed off about what exer did until he realized that exer been sabotaging him too, that's when he gets angry.
Of course he acknowledges that's what exer did to pamela and yes it upset him and he believes pam should know; but the thing is that it doesn't upset him enough to beat exer up
Do you know what upsets him enough?
Pamela's makeover and joining the reds
This is what upsets him enough to beat exer up
Why?
Because looking at this from a different perspective; it looks like exer is still trying to sabotage Jackson's life and isolate him.
The only people on Jackson's side are pamela and brenda, but brenda is more of with both sides and with David being her brother and she obviously regaining her crush on exer; that would leave Jackson with only one person he can absolutely trust won't leave him: Pamela
So seeing Pamela with the reds felt like everything was crumbling for him; that exer was manipulating pam to join him and his friends and then exer would continue his cat and mouse game that Jackson now knows of.
So really it wasn't about pamela as a person as much as it was about pamela as Jackson's last remaining companion in that rivalry thing
Feels kinda nice to finally put a name on well
This
Hello Auto Brewery Syndrome
characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that
have def prolly rebloged this before but i keep coming back to it bc it's like my holy grail of succinct character study/ship analysis 💞💞💞
was the last nail in the coffin for me to start writing out the dron 6th year au that's been floating around my head for months, can't thank you enough!!!
asenora i will listen to anything you have to say about these characters ever. please tell us what the tea is with dron
as i rummage through the backlog of messages in my inbox the thing that i have discovered is that you girlies [gender neutral] are absolutely clamouring for citizenship of dron nation.
[thank you to @spectral-kitty, @thesilverstarling, and two mystery anons!]
to which i say, the borders are open, baby. you just have to read the following manifesto:
why fandom needs to stop sleeping on dron
something i am continually banging on about, as regular readers know, is the harry potter series' fondness for assigning [male] characters to narrative mirror pairings.
exploring these pairings is interesting in and of itself without a romantic dimension being involved - i could talk for hours about the mirrored approach to guilt and grief in snape and sirius' characterisation - but it's also true that several of the most interesting ships which can be drawn [however non-canonically] from the text are between the two halves of each mirror pairing.
tomarrymort is the obvious one, snack [or starprince or snirius or whatever we're calling it] is starting to get the attention it deserves, but people are still sleeping on draco malfoy/ron weasley [and also, may i say, on lucius malfoy/arthur weasley and narcissa malfoy/molly weasley], largely - i fear - due to the sheer popularity of drarry and dramione.
i'll be honest that i really don't like dramione, and i'm generally ambivalent towards drarry, but i do love dron. and the narrative mirror aspect is entirely the reason why.
ron and draco begin the series as mirror archetypes within the genre conventions of a children's boarding school romp. ron is the loyal, humble sidekick of the everyman protagonist, draco is the everyman protagonist's posh, stuck-up rival. both are insiders to the world of the story - whereas harry, the reader surrogate, is not - who introduce harry to the positive and negative aspects of the wizarding world respectively.
as a result, ron and draco are mirrors in terms of personality, and are much more similar to each other than either is to harry or hermione. this doesn't, of course, preclude ronarry [a ship i adore] or romione [which i've defended here] or drarry or dramione [if ya nasty], but it introduces a specific - and very interesting - tension into the pairing which is absent from these other ships.
both ron and draco have shared positive traits - they're both loyal [and their loyalty is very practical and pragmatic - ron is not hagrid, whose faith in e.g. dumbledore is totally unwavering; draco is not bellatrix, whose faith in voldemort is the same], they're both highly observant, they're both quick-witted, they're both capable of doing the right thing - if not always immediately [which is, in fact, more admirable than being preternaturally willing to suffer and sacrifice], and so on.
they also have shared negative traits. they're both attention-seeking [ron fucking loves nearly being knifed by sirius and you just know draco was seething], self-aggrandising, insecure, sulky, and predisposed to jealousy.
and this is a gift for authors, because it means that dron butt heads in a relationship in ways which allow for real character growth... or otherwise.
one issue that i have with drarry is that it often feels like the change either one goes through within a fic is kind of out of character. for example, you have a harry who feels insecure and haunted by his ill-treatment of draco [this is a man whose response to committing attempted murder is to be raging that it reduces the time he has free to hit on ginny], or a harry who is chasing after a cool and sophisticated draco who eventually learns to open up [whereas if there's two things draco isn't, it's someone who keeps his thoughts to himself and someone who isn't a distinctly unsophisticated flop].
dron, however, react to conflict in the same way - which means that the two of them finding themselves in conflict with each other absolutely slaps. they also have similar levels of emotional intelligence, and are likely - if they're inclined to - to be able to communicate with each other and work through issues surprisingly effectively. they can be a mess, or they can be a happy-ever-after, and i like that in a ship.
but, while ron and draco are mirror archetypes, they are specifically children's literature mirror archetypes. ron's role as harry's guide to the world diminishes in the later books, as the series' horizons move beyond hogwarts to think about wizarding society and voldemort's impact upon it more widely [he is replaced by characters such as dumbledore]; while harry becomes considerably less bothered by the pettiness of draco's rivalry with him [concerned as it is with things like being good at quidditch and getting away with misbehaviour at school] as the enemies he's focused on shift to being the resurrected voldemort and his death eaters.
which is to say that dron makes considerably more sense within a hogwarts setting than drarry.
as i've said elsewhere, an issue i have with drarry is that it's frequently written in a way which suggests that harry and draco have a mutual obsession with each other - while the actual evidence of canon is that, while draco is [as his archetype demands] preoccupied with what harry's doing, harry rarely gives the impression of caring what his rival is up to unless directly compelled to by draco's own attention-seeking.
ron, in contrast, spends a lot of time noticing things about draco unprompted - he can, for instance, recall overhearing him boasting offhand about what broom he owns in philosopher's stone - and retaining this information in order to deploy it at the opportune time to get a rise out of him. he delights constantly in his misfortune [him being hyped for days because draco's annoyed harry gets a firebolt is beautiful]. he's ready to throw hands with him at any given opportunity, often giving those of us who thrive on cheap innuendo plenty of material in the process [draco finds himself, for example 'on all fours, banging the ground with his fist' after having ron's wand pointed in his face... same, girl.] and he tends to consider draco much more integral to the various shenanigans which take place in the castle than harry does [ron is the main proponent of the 'draco malfoy is the heir of slytherin' theory in chamber of secrets - and he is shook when draco reveals that he's wrong].
and draco does the same. he comes into the trio's compartment on the train in goblet of fire and immediately starts telling ron how unfashionable his dress robes are. he obsesses over ron's position as gryffindor keeper for months - and, of course, makes up a song about it, which isn't exactly helping him pull off 'i don't think about you at all', is it? - and ron is profoundly affected by the taunts in way that harry, who doesn't really care what draco thinks of him, isn't. and he constantly goes out of his way to provoke ron into trying to punch him [him shoulder-barging ron in half-blood prince just after harry's essentially outed him as a death eater in madam malkins... exquisite pettiness].
all of which is to say, their interactions feel very teenage and petty and silly all the way through to the end of half-blood prince in a way that draco's interactions with harry and hermione don't, and - therefore - i sincerely think that dron can be made to work much more plausibly as a pairing in fics set while the characters are at school.
my final point in favour of dron is that they mirror each other in their approach to their other relationships, and the tension this causes is really interesting to explore.
both ron and draco have mirrored attitudes towards their place within their own families - something neither harry nor hermione can have with draco for obvious reasons. ron is one of many siblings and feels overlooked in the crowd; draco is an only child and feels overburdened by the visibility, especially once his father is sent to azkaban. they both conform to behaviours expected of them by family [they are both in the same hogwarts house as generations of their family, they share their families' political views etc.]. they are of the same social class and their families both have a reasonably similar level of political influence [despite what we're told about his insignificance, arthur weasley is known to everyone in the ministry and he's able to throw his weight around to influence policy even before the promotion he receives in half-blood prince], but their material circumstances are divergent. they both heavily resemble their fathers - to the extent that they are immediately recognisable as each man's son - and spend their schooldays defending family honour by playing out lucius and arthur's own petty feud [lucius and arthur - and, indeed, narcissa and molly - are also narrative mirrors, and we deserve many more enemies-to-lovers fics featuring them]. and the course their lives take during the war is dictated as much by their role within their families as it is by their relationship with harry - the scrambling post-dumbledore order operating out of the burrow is a mirror image of the ascendant voldemort operating out of malfoy manor.
they are also obviously defined by their mirrored relationship with harry - most interestingly by a major similarity in their attitude towards him: that both struggle with how jealous they are of harry.
this leads to lots of excellent tension which just isn't possible in drarry or dramione. how do both sets of parents react to the news their sons are in love? how do ron and draco's relationships with harry change as they find each other? how does draco cope with the hustle and bustle of life at the burrow? how does ron deal with having to have dinner at the manor [particularly interesting because the world in which draco lives is one that's familiar to him - he's not going to be shocked by any of the weird stuff in that house, he knows how it all works, so he can ruin christmas by deciding to have his dad arrest lucius for fun instead]?
it's messy, and fun, and it sustains me.
and some recs for the lads?
collateral damage by @danpuff-ao3, which starts out with both of the lads working out their... issues with harry and ends with declarations of going to lunch with each other's mothers.
dance the night away (aka it's true love, you bastards) by evandar, which has as its premise ron and draco ending up, largely by accident, going to the yule ball together.
this great stage of fools by @nanneramma, which correctly demonstrates how ron is charming enough that him being supremely annoying is actually loveable.
Tubbo and Tommy: A character and character dynamic study.
Neither are the villain here.
Both are 16 year olds, raised during war. Tubbo is doing everything they can to protect and lead L’Manberg. Chaos and destruction is all Tommy knows and he gave up his prized possessions, the discs to save L’Manberg. Now they stand on opposing sides because Dream is the villain scared of losing power.
Dream let L’Manberg have independence but took the discs in trade for it because he wanted a backup plan. If L’Manberg became too big of a threat to Dream’s power he’d just use the discs to manipulate Tommy, Wilbur’s right hand man.
History is repeating AGAIN. It’s a running theme in the SMP and until someone realizes this and puts an end to it history will keep repeating.
Tommy will start down the path to destruction that Wilbur walked. But, perhaps with Ghostbur’s help, Tommy will stop before it’s too late. He’ll break the cycle and I think Ghostbur will be integral to it, after all he was a part of it. Tommy is one half of Wilbur’s character parallel.
Now onto Tubbo.
Tubbo, like Wilbur, has the weight of the world on their shoulders. Tubbo is the other half of Wilbur’s character parallel. Tubbo is doing what they think is best for the nation. On top of what happened with Tommy, Tubbo is constantly being underminded and mocked by the cabinet members. Tubbo is probably gonna feel like everyone has betrayed them, much like Wilbur did.
Tubbo and Tommy are parallels to Wilbur.
In conclusion, Tubbo and Tommy, like everyone else, are incredibly in-depth characters. Neither of them are the villain, they’re kids with a metric fuck ton problems, their own and others, to deal with.
Wilbur Soot: A Late Night Character Study
My thoughts are in no way organized, it’s 4 in the morning where I live but I have some thoughts I’d like to share. I’ve been watching the most recent streams and the amazing animatics the people in the community have made. I was watching tamato jam’s video in particular and it made me realize something.
Wilbur Soot as a character is a tragedy from start to finish.
He’s a man who has strived to be the leader, father, and brother, everyone wanted him to be. But in his attempts to be the man others wanted he pushed others away, unknowningly hurting them.
In the SMP Sleepy Bois Inc backstory we’ve been given, it’s heavily implied that Wilbur is the oldest of Philza’s kids. He’s held to much higher standards then his siblings, he’s gotta be the responsible adult, he’s gotta take care of his siblings, he’s had to grow up much faster than he should have.
Post-L’Manberg Revolutionary War, Wilbur feels like every is looking to him to fix L’Manberg, he feels like they are looking to restore L’Manberg to how it was before, but that’s impossible. But it reality they just want to rebuild L’Manberg and try again.
During the Manberg/Schlatt Arc, it gets worse, more betrayals. To Wilbur, everyone is building upon the corrupted foundation that Wilbur’s tried so hard to fix, to him no-one but Tommy was trustworthy. But Tommy is steadily chased away by Wilbur’s downward spiral.
Wilbur was completely blindsided by the betrayals of the people he loved and would’ve done anything to protect. His friend, the man he fought to the bitter end along side, betraying him for empty promises. The son he loved, the son he would have given the world to, betraying him for empty promises. His family betrayed him.
Wilbur now fully believes that L’Manberg as an ideal is gone, all that’s left is its broken remains. What do you do with a foundation that can’t be saved? You destroy it. At the end of it all he truly believes blowing up L’Manberg will bring him peace but because he left his story unfinished he’s stuck as a ghost. He’s terrified of who he was before, he’s remembering and it hurts.
Also can we address the fact that Ghostbur/Wilbur says he only remembers happy things but then he immediately says he remembers Philza, HIS DAD, killing him.
In conclusion Wilbur was a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders and he eventually shattered like a glass thrown at the wall. As a ghost he tries to be happy but the past is never going to let him go till he faces it.
Wilbur Soot as an actor and writer is phenomenal and it’s absolutely gut-wrenching.
WOW, oh wow ow wow wow and ouch! This is wonderful,another absolute banger from you! His two contradictory feelings! His fantasy of death and how belos would react, of hurting himself or being killed?! The mix of hate and desperate want for approval?!! God you write such good monologues! W o w. By the conclusion, I can only imagine Amity is in for an absolute shitshow.
Here’s a little oneshot wip(?) for @pincushionx, who inspired me to write a little BPD Hunter character study that takes place during Eclipse Lake
TW: violence, rage, swearing, suicidal ideation, self-harm ideation
There’s no point anymore. Hunter’s done for. This was his chance to prove himself to his uncle, and he blew it.
A wave of despair washes heavy over his body as he falls to his knees. When he doubles over, the dirt is cold under his gloved fingertips, and he can barely breathe over the weight on his shoulders and the sudden, pooling rage in his stomach.
The all-consuming sensations flooding in urge him to scream, fight, and destroy everything in his vicinity just as much as they make him want to throw himself off of a cliff and smack his head against every rock on the way down.
Either reality melts a bit, viscous and toxic, or something’s shifted sideways, pixelated and fuzzy; he’s not sure which, but he does know that he’s filled with the inescapable awareness that everything is wrong. His entire world isn’t right anymore, now that he’s failed, and all he wants is for everything to stop.
He wants this rabid animal under his skin to shred his body to pieces until he’s nothing more than mutilated flesh left behind in the dirt. He wants to make his shameful face so unrecognizable that no one will ever figure out what happened to the boy behind the mask. He wants this world to move on without him, and he wants to pretend he never dared to disgrace it with his presence in the first place.
He wants to die.
He wants to die, die, die.
He pictures himself grabbing his go-to knife in his nightstand and slashing wild gashes into his thighs. He thinks about how good it would feel. How maybe, if he wasn’t such a coward, he could dig deeper and deeper until he’s lightheaded from blood loss. How maybe, if he did a good enough job, he’d bleed out on the floor and never have to face his uncle’s disappointment first-hand. How one minute, he could be there, and the next, he could be gone, leaving behind only a husk for no one but his Uncle to mourn.
The thought of Belos finding him murdered by his own hands sends a bolt of thill through his body. He can't help but fantasize about it. Belos would walk into Hunter’s room, gasp in shock at the state of his poor, beloved nephew, and try to revive him. He would watch in distress as the healers try to revive him, to no avail. When there’d be truly nothing left for Belos to do to fix his mistakes, he would feel so bad about just how much anguish he put his poor guard through. He would look back fondly on all the ways Hunter had helped him over the years and bury his nephew with guilt-ridden tears streaming down his cheeks. He would be so, so sorry, and Hunter could rest in peace knowing that he’d at least be loved unconditionally in death.
Or not.
Hunter lets out an anguished whine as he tangles his fingers in his hair and pulls.
He’s only deluding himself, isn’t he?
When has Belos ever felt bad about anything when it comes to hurting Hunter? When has Belos ever wiped away Hunter’s tears without mocking him, or acknowledged Hunter’s efforts without some kind of ridicule undermining the entire whisp of praise? When has Belos ever said the simple promise of “I love you” without it having to be a reward to chase after?
Hunter understands why Uncle is so harsh. Hunter knows that Belos only wants the best for him. He wants to train Hunter well enough that Hunter will be able to survive in a world without having innate magic. Uncle’s reserving this special position just for Hunter so that the teen won’t grow up without employment. He provides Hunter with the best instructors and the best artificial staff so that Hunter can make up for his deficits. Yet despite the accommodations, Hunter spits in Belos’s face with his failures every single time.
Hunter tries so fucking hard, and for what? Nothing he does ever matters. Hunter always just takes, takes, takes, from Belos, and nothing he brings back from missions is ever enough to buy Belos’s kindness for more than a day. Hunter was born wrong; he knows he needs to earn the right to live, but he wishes it wasn’t so soul-crushing to bear the curse of an unruly body like this.
If Hunter was just good enough effortlessly, Uncle would love him more, but unfortunately, Hunter eventually has to fuck it all up. His heart always has to drop every time his Uncle sighs heavily in his direction.
It’s not fair.
He sounds like a child, he knows, and he hates himself for it, but it’s not fair.
Dirt gathers under his gloves as he scrunches his fingers to curl into fists. A revelation boils under his skin so hot and vapid that it can’t help but change the tide of rage. He grabs a handful of dirt and screams as he pelts it across the empty lake.
He hates his Uncle.
He hates him so much.
How dare the man string Hunter along like this? If he knew that Hunter was such a fuck-up from the start, why did he even give Hunter the time of day? Why did he breathe false hope into Hunter by saying that Hunter could ever truly achieve anything worthwhile?
Surely he had to have known this would happen. Surely he had to have known that Hunter would never be good enough. Hunter should have been killed from the start, and he hates Belos for treating him with the cruel mercy of of an unearned life.
Hunter’s not sure when he’d started sobbing.
He untangles his knees from the dirt and repositions himself to sit on his bottom with his knees pulled to his chest. From this position, he can wrap his arms around his legs and scratch his forearms as hard as he possibly can.
The sting of pain isn’t enough. He wants to flay the meat of his arms open and cause as much damage as possible. Sadly, gouging welts into ins skin with his hands isn’t as productive. There’s no way he can cut anywhere near as deep without a knife.
He looks around through blurry tears and comes to a decision. He’s already here. The Blight girl should be arriving anytime soon. If he’s lucky, she’ll be kind enough to kill him. That would be much easier than dragging himself back to the castle to do the job himself. He’s quite tired from this whole pointless endeavor, anyway. It would be good for her, too—she seems to hate his guts.
He loves a fair trade.
With a cautious serenity lifting the haze of negativity ever so slightly, he unclenches his fists and puts his hands to work, just like his Uncle likes.
It wouldn’t be fair to make the Blight girl dig his grave, too.
i wonder if Sampo assumed that The Nameless were Masked Fools at first
i thought this whole beginning spiel he does was just him thinking the Nameless were Underworlders -> but that doesn't make sense when later it's revealed that literally almost everyone on Jarilo-VI knows who the Silvermane are
this isn't even five minutes into introductions and Sampo's already treating them like they're all part of one big- and pardon the pun- inside joke. i wouldn't even put it past him if he was purposefully using double entendres in case he was wrong -> "pricing your stock" can also refer to attributing your strong points//talents -> "same side" "same line of work" "charade" "vigilance" "sincerity" "an art to it all" Sampo frequently refers to their 'shared job' with entertainment monikers
i think he realizes relatively soon after this entire conversation that the Nameless are, in fact, not Fools though- so he doesn't ever hedge closer to the subject aside from calling himself a "senior in the field"
also he changes his phrases so that they're more reminiscent of his conman occupation rather than his Fools occupation
im also pretty sure he immediately pegged us as offworlders too?? -> this is after saying Jarilo-VI was uninhabitable anywhere other than Belobog
Hamilton x JJK
This is 1000% brought on by me consuming those edits again, but Burr and Alexander are Satoru and Suguru if Suguru didn't defect. Hear me out, Hamilton didn't know how Burr felt. The inferiority, the jealousy, he to an extent always considered him a better half. In the musical we witness how excellent he was, leagues above everyone else, not cut from the same cloth, yet we have the musical because people never acknowledged him compared to some other founding fathers. Akin to how Gojo didn't even get a funeral, he altered the balance of the world when he was born just to die the same as you and I. Burr truly never held any ill will towards Hamilton in the beginning, their paths aligned, they became acquainted, but he did not excel. If it's sad that a founding father's legacy is a musical, is it not sadder for Burr to be remembered as the man who isn't Hamilton? If Geto had not defected but still harboured the same feelings and went through the same trauma, yet saw Gojo overcome and "win", then what's the difference? I think when you take songs such as 'Wait For It' or 'Non-Stop' this is better shown. The obsession Hamilton had with writing the same as to how Gojo exceedingly became so far above everyone he wasn't human, he is literally untouchable. He fought, took mission after mission, works 21hrs a day, he could theoretically handle it all alone. How Burr wasn't willing to back up the constitution, how Suguru didn't defect immediately, a year passed. The hatred brimming and boiling, him hoping it'd subside just for the wait to result in a different outcome. How the only time Burr did not hesitate was for that final shot, contrastingly enough, the only time Hamilton did. Satoru has always hesitated in taking Suguru's life, yet Suguru was truly happy when he was away from Jujutsu society. Honestly, JJK is ripe with symbolism, excellent re-read material in the sense that everything comes together so beautifully with certain characters. Gojo's ability being unbeatable, being his only weakness, how him messing with the fabric of reality impacted his life and the consequence of being untouchable. How regardless of the strength he has never got what mattered, just like his domain. Toji deciding to risk his life by fighting Gojo a second time just to prove to the people he hated that he was good enough, yet if he had won that fight there'd be no difference between him and the Zen'in clan. He died for the same people who wished he was dead anyway. And if Geto Suguru didn't wind up hating non-sorcerers he'd end up hating Jujutsu, believing the world would be better with 0 cursed energy. To dismantle Jujutsu can be done in multiple ways, but perhaps the most effective would be to take down the pinnacle, i.e Satoru Gojo. I will one day draft an entire character study and analysis on Satoru (because clearly I cannot shut up and I have too many thoughts), but when SatoSugu were like Lafayette and Hamilton just to technically wind up in the same fate, is post hidden inventory Geto the real Geto or did he die in that fight against Toji? If he didn't, was hidden inventory Geto the fake one and the racist the real one? This is also interesting because say Geto tried helping, pushing it down, not going insane. Would he be Jefferson? Would Satoru be Jefferson? Would Geto/Jefferson view Satoru as Washington?
You could say the trio ended up becoming like John Jay, James Madison, and Hamilton. What with Shoko never being recognized, John Jay recovered after writing four to write the fifth. James Madison writing more than their agreed upon original limit simply by himself but never given value, like Suguru being a special grade that came from no resources. Him having virtually no weakness. And of course, Hamilton going insane and losing everything in the pursuit of his 'dream', I wonder if anyone has ever randomly hugged Satoru and told him they love him. He never had an Eliza after all, fuck did he even have an Angelica? A Maria Reynolds? Yet Suguru had Theodosia. This is such a niche but goddamn do I love to yap.
Crisis Averted
WindsCarryFar
Summary:
She remembered her Dad always telling her one thing growing up, ‘Pumpkin there’s the quick way to do things and the right way. The right way can take a lot of work and time, but you’ll always keep yourself out of trouble'
Ochako finds a rather tempting deal right before getting into UA but common sense prevails and she stops herself from getting caught up in something terrible. Basically my take on why turning someone into a traitor isn't as easy as it looks
Rating:
General Audiences
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandom:
僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Relationship:
Uraraka Ochako & Uraraka Ochako's Parents
Characters:
Uraraka Ochako Uraraka Ochako's Father Sensei | All For One Okuta Kagerou | Giran
Additional Tags:
Traitor Theory Character Study Ochako is Smarter Than She Looks Getting a mole is not so easy Uraraka Ochako Needs a Hug
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2021-12-28 Words: 1160 Chapters: 1/1
dean and sam's relationship is so abrgajndk
because when it comes down to it dean doesnt treat sam like a brother instead he takes on the role of a parent without meaning to because he was literally forced to raise sam when they were growing up, and he can't let go of that mindset.
multiple times in the show he says shit like "you're not a kid anymore, you can take care of yourself" but he still takes care of sam anyway because it's what he's been doing his entire life. sam was venting about not having a mom or dad around during holidays but you wanna know who was there DEAN WAS THERE DEAN SET UP THE CHRISTMAS DECOR AND GOT GIFTS BC JOHN ABANDONED THEM ever since they were young john made dean promise he'd protect sam no matter what to the point where dean sold his SOUL for sam "they're codependent!" NO DEAN JUST TREATS SAM LIKE HE'S HIS SON
sorry im tweaking out i love supernatural
Thomas {Hewitt}'s Voice
Because I swear he can talk 🙏
Hii - I’ve been thinking about this for a while now: What would Thomas’ voice sound like? I decided to waste my time {watching TCM interviews / bts} so that I could gauge what Thomas’ voice would sound like.
Evidently, Thomas would have an accent reminiscent of those around him. Luda Mae, Henrietta, and Kathryn / The Tea Lady have the most authentic ‘Texan’ accents out of the family, considering those actresses are the only ones from Texas. Hoyt / R Lee Ermey is from Kansas, and Old Monty / Terrence Evans was born in Pensylvania. Andrew Bryniarski {Thomas} was also born in Pensylvania - Which is very evident in his accent in later interviews.
Things to consider: Bryniarski has been suspected of the usage of sterroids and alcohol abuse - Which can alter your voice - This is extremely prevalent when comparing modern interviews to older interviews.
Bryniarski’s voice is slightly nasally, a bit raspy, and on the deeper-end of the spectrum. At times, his pitch is average - Others, it’s lower. His voice never gets ‘high’ when he’s speaking, but it can through non-serious or extreme measures. I.E; When Thomas' leg gets cut {1:19:15}, Erin chops off his arm {1:25:07}.
Speech Pattern:
Thomas' vocal cords don't appear to be damaged, just scarcely used. This could make speaking a difficult and uncomfortable {mentally, physically} task for Thomas. It's a chore rather than second-nature. This also applies to his oral and mastication muscles. The only time he uses his mastication muscles is when he eats - which is AT MAX three times a day. I'd say maybe just two. This would lead to muscle atrophy - weakening or loss of mass in the muscles. When we talk, the neck and tongue muscles {Strap muscles, Thyroid muscle group, Cricoarytenoid muscle group, Genioglossus, hyoglossus, palatoglossus, styloglossus, Superior lingualis, inferior lingualis, vertical lingualis, and transverse lingualis} do the majority of the work.
Considering Thomas' mastication muscles are weaker, he'd {most likely} have difficulty pronouncing "t", "k", "d", "g", and "r". Thomas would also be prone to slurring, mispronunciation, slow speech / common pauses, enunciate the wrong syllable - or enunciate equally, and inconsistent speech / errors.
Here's clips of Andrew speaking on the TCM set - I figured clips of him on / around set would be more accurate to how Tommy speaks JUST BECAUSE Andrew would be in the headspace of Thomas during this time.
{Warning: The audio quality is so ass I apologize 😞}
I think Thomas' voice would be more like Bryniarski's in the third video - where he's talking about Leatherface's relation to the chainsaw | 'Leatherface's best friend is his chainsaw.' {Which I will be making a post about that specific statement.}
Obviously - Thomas would have a southern {Texan, specifically} accent, though I don't know how 'rough' or 'thick' his accent would be. I have an inkling that Thomas would have a rasp because of his weakened vocal cords. Probably lots of depth to his voice, though it wouldn't be excruciatingly deep. Most likely reminiscent of Andrew's pitch - With minor changes depending on the situation, energy levels, hydration, headspace, and how much he's spoken that day {I'm projecting here ☝️🤓}. His preferred form of communication would be minimal, blunt statements, using as little words as possible. Simple 'yes'' and 'no's' would be portrayed through nodding / shaking of the head. Directions would be communicated via pointing.
For example;
"Have you eaten yet? / Are you hungry?" = "You eat?"
"I like green." = "Green, good."
This is NOT because Thomas is dumb - Contrary to popular belief of the town. It's because talking is a chore for Thomas. It's something he has to think and put effort into as opposed to yapping your ear off. He'd also only speak if it was really important. I doubt he'd be a chatterbox, but he'd make noise like grunts or groans - Some incomprehensible sounds that are only distinguishable by those who've been around him long enough. You'll get the hang of it - Recognizing certain sounds correlate with specific experiences or responses. Do NOT try to imitate them - He'll glare and shut off socially; Which is the opposite of what you want if you want to get close to Thomas. {And Luda Mae would beat you black n' blue for making fun of Tommy.}
--
tldr; Thomas would {most likely} have a voice reminiscent of Andrew Bryniarski's - Slightly raspy, heavily molded by a Texan accent and pronunciation issues.
____
The Hewitts are Hypocritical Religious Cowards - Minor Character Study :)
{Literally just these three but y'know - Monty's sleeping as usual with his lazy ass}
I think Luda Mae fears God; Hoyt doesn't..at least not as much. They were both raised the same, by the same people, in the same environment, of the same religion. But Hoyt was - is, a product of sin, in my interpretation. Hoyt was born of sin and will die of sin; Born to commit the sins of his father. Because of his "predestined" behavior, I think Hoyt views what he's doing as either a form of redemption {for himself and his mother} as well as a final 'fuck you' to God. {Inconsistent ahh religious relationship}
its seems almost as if Charlie views himself as someone who's predisposed to hell. "I was born of sin, I'll die of sin - Might as well have some fun." His experiences in the world most likely drove him away from religion and weakened his faith in God overall - Further fueling this mindset.
In some individuals, religion can develop into a form of psychosis. I don't think Hoyt has that {on the surface}, but Luda definitely does. I doubt God is going to make you burn for fucking up, Jesus didn't care as long as it was genuine mistake. If he did, everyone would be in hell right now. The only reason Eve was punished is because she prioritized herself and her pleasure over the boundaries of God. That's not the same as messing up, people forget that. But in the case of the Hewitts - They chose the same path as Eve - Just more viciously.
The Hewitts {Hoyt more specifically} prioritized family pride over the lives of other people. They'd rather stay on their land than move away. They'd rather be forgotten by society - Kill and consume outsiders, instead of adapting to another town.
Remember the dinner scene in TCM: The Beginning? Just before Bailey dies, as Chrissie's insulting the family. That right there is the perfect example of the family's philosophy.
C: "I have a question for you, it involves the family tree - the lineage, if you will; So I guess this one's for the table: You guys fuck all your cousins or just the ones you find attractive?"
H: "You blasphemous bitch! This is redemption, lady, that's what this is! Oh, you're all gonna pay for your sins, that's right! And especially you."
Hoyt knows what they're doing is wrong - they all do. Yet they reframe it as "cleansing the world of sin." The mindset "we do what we have to in order to survive."
H: "You starve to death, or survive."
Hoyt views what they're doing as means of survival. They were starving to death - which he explicitly says in the 'first supper' scene
H: "Thanks to the good sheriff here, we ain't gonna go hungry tonight. Matter of fact, we ain't never gonna starve again."
____
Dean deserved to die because he failed his country. His fellow soldiers. Morgan, Kemper, Pepper, Andy, Erin, they all deserved to die for their possession of weed and their disrespect towards the family. Chrissie and Eric deserved it for the same reason. Bailey was with those 'disrespectful draft dodgers.' She was a whore, too - Just as sinful in the eyes of the lord.
stfu Hoyt as if you haven't done worse
Erin and Bailey disrespected Thomas - This would set Luda Mae off so bad. SHE LITERALLY SAID "Get her out of my sight" to Thomas in reference to Erin. She's disgusted by them - Disgusted by anyone who insults her, Thomas, {anyone in the family really}, or God.
L: "I know your kind - Nothing but cruelty and ridicule for my boy, all the time he was growing up. Does anybody care about me and my boy? Huh?"
--
E: "What's wrong with you fucking people?"
H: "Nothing wrong with us..?"
L: "Tommy; Thomas Brown Hewitt, you get in here right now! Get her out of my sight."
--
None of them deserved a second chance. As soon as they stepped onto the property, they solidified their fate. The Hewitts view themselves almost as a necessary evil - Angels of Death, if you will. They kill who they do based on how 'sinful' they are. That includes how they treat the family. {Which I doubt is based on 'respect' being one of God's values - I think it's because of how prideful these people are.}
____
Luda fears God. She fears The Rapture. When Jesus walks the Earth to gather his sheep. The day he waltzes into the Hewitt household taking the form of a 'helpless draft-dodger.' When the molded wallpaper and dusty lace tablecloth aren't enough to hide the rotting carnage, seething beneath the decaying floorboards. As he takes his place at the table, looking down at the family -
"This is redemption, lady, that's what this is! Oh, you're all gonna pay for your sins, that's right! And especially you."
You.
The wailing. The begging. The prayers falsely spoken by your forked tongue.
"I'm not gonna hurt you, honey."
Liar.
A shepherd? No, - Vicious wolves clothed in the skin and cloak of the fallen guardian. Harboring the sheep to their intemperate slaughter - You selfishly feast upon.
Did you feel it?
Do you feel it now?
Whilst the blood spilt from between her legs; Staining your sheets - The same ones Mama's washed over and over for the same selfish reasons.
Rewarding, was it not?
Did the screeches of pain exhort you? - Ravish you. It feels good to take what you deserve.
Except you didn't deserve it; Did you, Charlie.
Not by my teachings - and certainly not by your mother's.
"You poor thing; Sweet mourning lamb. There's nothing you can do - It's already been done."
But she deserved it.
She sinned - Did she not?
And sinners don't deserve patience - Nor do they deserve mercy.
They're vessels possessed by the Devil - You were only doing what's best.
Clearing them out.
And the cowardly - I didn't teach my children to be cowardly, did I? No, I did not. You're not a coward, are you, Charlie? Most certainly not - Not with what you've done to serve your country. No; You're a hero.
Heroes don't rape
Our Hero.
Heroes won't yield
My Hero.
Coward.
And cowards heroes like you deserve a special place in hell Heaven.
____
this is so ass 🙏 #yapville
Hiii - As an ode to my first post {Thomas' Medical Analysis}, I thought about making him a 'medical chart'.
Thomas my little microorganism
Not everything on this chart is canon {such as diagnoses dates}
The Basics
Thomas {Brown Hewitt} was born on the 31st {not canon} of August, 1939 - He is currently 34 years old, canon-timeline. Thomas is 6'5 and around 300-330 lbs / 136-150 kgs.
____
He has been previously diagnosed with:
Mental Retardation
Mental Deterioration
Deteriorating {Flesh / Facial?} Disfigurement | Interchanged with: Disfigurative Facial Disease
{Unreadable} Birth Defect {Assumed to be an Incomplete Unilateral Cleft}
Tendencies Towards Self-Mutilation
____
What His Skin Condition Could Be
Cutaneous Lupus {CLE}
Pustular Psoriasis
Severe Cystic Acne
Pustular Rosacea
I'm gonna make this very clear - as I did in the original Medical Analysis - Thomas does NOT have skin cancer. He would not survive. And even if he did, He'd be bed-ridden or severely weakened.
____
What His 'Mental Retardation / Deterioration' Could Be
Depression
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Autism / ASD {Most likely 'Level 1', also called 'Low-Support Needs', 'High-Functioning', Asperger's}
PTSD
Apraxia of Speech
____
Here's screenshots of the document I made for him 🤓
This is my autism on full blast vro 𓆣
I wrote a fic about Wally’s death because I fear it haunts me…
(Stay tuned for the rest of the ghosts because they will all get their turn at angst)
The Weight Of Wings
Ⅰ. ⚝ Born to Fly
Synopsis: Keigo Takami's wings were meant to be his escape from the torment of his abusive family, a symbol of the freedom he longed for. Now, as the number two hero, Hawks carries the weight of those same wings—both a gift and a curse. He faces the repercussions of a life defined by duty and the moral ambiguity of his choices.
Preview: "He stretched out his tiny wings, cramped from the clutter of his house. His feathers sat oddly—neglected—taking on an unruly defiance, refusing to be tamed by his fractured will. Keigo often wondered what it would feel like to put them to real use, to feel the wind lift him high above everything—but he knew better than to ask."
Words: 1.2k
Tags: character study, A+ parenting, hawks is a fucking sweetheart and deserves 5,900 hugs n kisses
Notes: its been like 3 months since i wrote this chapter and i STILL dont know if i should leave it as-is or write another one... also cross-posted on ao3!!
Stars flicker, pure light, A boy's dreams reach for the sky, Wings that ache for flight.
As a boy, Keigo Takami often stared out into the horizon, heart yearning for distant freedom. The cracked walls of his tiny room seemed to be closing in on him, the air suffocating with the pungent smell of stale cigarettes and spilt liquor. Hence, when his father's distant mutters escalated into shouts, and when his mother's anxious footsteps started pacing, he found refuge on the roof, gazing at the sky with child-like wonder.
His belief in heroes had started to waver, eroding with every atrocity his father committed. Whenever his thoughts got too loud, he found solace in the stars. They didn't care about who he was, what he was born into, or the scars he tried to hide. They simply shone—untouched and unwavering. Beyond the city’s grime and the flickering streetlights, the sky seemed boundless. He liked to think the constellations were waiting for him, promising that one day, he wouldn’t be stuck here.
He stretched out his tiny wings, cramped from the clutter of his house. His feathers sat oddly—neglected—taking on an unruly defiance, refusing to be tamed by his fractured will. Keigo often wondered what it would feel like to put them to real use, to feel the wind lift him high above everything—but he knew better than to ask. Around his parents, every word felt like a misstep, every movement like a crack in fragile eggshells. His mother’s quirk gave her extra eyes, always scanning, always watching, as if she could see straight through him. And his father... his father’s gaze was sharp, laced with rage, always ready to lash out with a force that left scars deeper than any physical blow.
He imagined a wind, strong enough to carry him far away. Someday, he thought. Someday, I’ll fly higher than anyone else. His shoulders twitched with anticipation—but the dream always ended too soon. A door slammed somewhere in the house, and Keigo flinches, his bare feet slipping against the windowsill. He jumped back just as his father’s voice tore through the stillness like a jagged blade. "Keigo!" his father barked, his voice slurred from the alcohol. "Get in here!"
Keigo’s wings may have been closer to fantasy than tangible, but he still needed the courage to survive long enough to use them. His pulse quickened, the weight of reality pressing against him like a heavy stone. He pulled away from the window and padded softly toward the door, leaving behind the fleeting promise of the sky and stepping back into the prison of his life.
She was acting uncharacteristically 'motherly'. Perhaps it was the guilt catching up to her, though Keigo couldn’t fathom why she’d suddenly show him kindness—why anyone would, for that matter. Hand in hand, they walked into the store—probably for the first time in his life. The warmth of her hand felt alien against his own, a touch that he hadn't known since his earliest memories. Keigo’s gaze flickered down at their joined hands, the softness of his own fingers pressing against the rough calluses of hers. It was a strange, short-lived connection—one that seemed to exist only in this moment, surrounded by the smell of freshly baked bread and the distant hum of the store’s fluorescent lights.
They cast everything in a soft glow, making the rows of canned goods and packaged snacks shimmer like treasures. Keigo could hear the soft rustle of plastic bags, the gentle beep of the checkout scanner in the distance, the hum of the air conditioning struggling to keep up with the midday heat outside. He knew they probably wouldn’t walk out with anything—financially limited as they were—so he didn’t bother pointing out the items that caught his eye. As grateful as he was, there was the inevitable dread of what awaited him back home.
His eyes drifted from one colourful label to another, soaking it all in. He could barely process it all—it felt much too clean. His hair was matted enough to earn pitiful glares from nearby mothers, his clothes far too tattered. A sense of wonder rose in him, tempered only by the quiet hum of reality in the back of his mind. It was too much, but for the first time in a long while, too much didn’t feel like a bad thing.
Keigo, like any other child, was eyeing the hero merchandise. Whenever his father left him alone, he'd watch hero documentaries on TV. That euphoric feeling of watching All Might land another decisive blow, watching Endeavour coldly put villains in their place—it was the only thing that made him feel alive, the only thing that made him believe that there was something more than the life he was stuck in.
His mother noticed, her tired gaze flickering with something akin to empathy as she lingered by the shelves. She picked up the All Might plush—soft, golden, impossibly hopeful—but her hand froze as she turned over the price tag. A moment passed, her lips pressing into a thin line, before she put it back and grabbed the Endeavour one instead. “This’ll have to do,” she muttered, her tone clipped, the weight of her words landing heavier than the plush in Keigo’s hands.
But Keigo didn’t mind. His fingers clutched the toy with a reverence it didn’t deserve, his chest swelling with a joy that felt rare and fragile. Endeavour wasn’t bright like All Might—he didn’t shine, not really. But he burned, fierce and unyielding, and in that moment, Keigo thought that maybe, just maybe, burning was enough.
He held the Endeavour plush tightly, his small hands trembling as he followed his mother out of the store. The harsh overhead lights gave way to the soft glow of twilight outside, the sky tinged with hues of orange and violet. He glanced up, searching for the stars. They were faint, barely visible against the creeping dark.
He looked down at the plush in his hands. Its stitching was rough, the material coarse and unyielding, but it felt solid, real. Endeavour didn’t blind you with warmth and comfort. Instead, he was a fire that roared defiantly against the dark. Keigo traced the embroidered flames on the plush’s chest, his fingers lingering on the sharp edges. Fires blazed, yes, but they also survived. They consumed, leaving scars and ashes in their wake, but they endured. Maybe, Keigo thought, that’s what he needed to do too. Maybe he didn’t need to shine; maybe it was enough just to burn, to keep going, no matter what.
As they reached the corner of the street, his mother’s grip loosened, and the fleeting moment of connection slipped away like grains of sand through his fingers. Keigo turned his gaze upward one last time, letting the faint glimmer of the stars steady his fragile heart. In the sky, he saw more than freedom—he saw a promise, an echo of something that felt almost attainable.
The stars twinkled, distant and pure, as if whispering to him: Someday.
And Keigo Takami, with wings too small and a heart too heavy, dared to believe them.
Pose practice
https://line-of-action.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing/
I think the reason why Eugene Roe is my favorite character is because I relate to his faith in God, to his prayers that go unanswered. That he has a particular saint he recites things from (Francis, like I personally have with Matthew), and he holds onto it. That his faith is shaking as bad things continue to happen but he clings to it with his fingers because it’s what his family has taught him. That eventually when everything has fallen around him, when Bastogne gets blown up, Renee dies, and he realizes he cannot save everyone, he makes his own faith. He sits next to Babe and fixes his hand and looks out onto the line where the Germans are waiting to kill them, and he decides to laugh. To smile. Because one day God will answer and show him His plan, but right now he needs to survive. And then in Austria, in Zell am See, and bad things still happen but Eugene saves Chuck. Or he sees someone else save him. The mountains are beautiful, he’s playing baseball, and the war is over. I like to think that at the end of it all, Eugene saw His plan, and he found peace in that.
Konfessions
I hate you
I hate you so so so so much.
Your actions make my very skin crawl, your cruel words are my nightmares every night. You make me sick just thinking about you.
I hate what you did,
I hate what you did to them.
You hurt those four, you killed two of them and those you left alive will never be the same.
You took away their pillars of safety, and now they are scrambling for an anchor to ground themselves with.
I hate hate hate how you acted. You acted like you didn’t even care! You didn’t care about the lives you had ruined!
So I hate you. I hate you with either fiber of my being, every bone in my body, every part of me hates you.
But I don’t hate you, do I? I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts that I love you. I hate the fact I love you because I should hate you. Because my brain tells me that I should hate you but my heart screams and scrambles for an explanation, reason, excuse, anything to justify your actions. To justify loving you.
You hurt so many people for something so so childish and stupid! You killed two people. You mutilated his body just to mess with and hurt his friend so so so much when he saw his best friend missing a head.
And you did that just for some convulsed plot to kill your ‘rival’! You killed her right in front of him. You drove him to stab you! You practically tortured him just to get at her. All for the sake of your stupid delusions!
Loving you feels like a sin. A horrible horrible horrible action. You hurt so many people. So many people I see everyday and talk to and I feel so wrong because I love you and they don’t and I’m in the wrong for loving you still!
….i wish i could just hate you….
….Maybe I don’t love you for you.
Maybe I love the idea of you. The you I thought I knew. The you that you showed to me to keep me on your side. The you that was a mask, just like the one you always wore, hiding your disgusting truth underneath it.
I hate the True you. The true you you showed everyone except me until the end. The true you who would mutilate a corpse to mess with others. Cut off someone’s head and tongues and disembowel him and oh god I’m about to throw up just remembering it.
I love your mask, but hate the real you. The you under your mask. The you that is bloodied underneath.
I don’t know if we’re going to be
Foxes our next lives.
You have a lot of sin to pay for after all.
Maybe I’ll join you down there.
For the sin of loving someone so terrible.
Derek Hale Appreciation Week 2021 Day 4:
Thursday Nov 25 - Character Study // Favorite Scenes
For the other days I’ve done fanfics, but this is going to be more of an essay with quotes and scenes mentioned. It’s going to be a look into the parallels between Derek’s relationship with Kate and Derek’s relationship with Scott and how each one affects Derek overall. This is not going to be proScott just to warn you. Scott is the Kate in the situation. I have evidence to back my opinion on Scott, I’m not trying to cause issues. Anyway on with the controversial character study.
We’ll start with the parallels to do with hunting. We know that Kate is clearly a hunter and a radical one at that. She doesn’t care about following the code at all. She’s willing to kill anyone supernatural or in relation to anyone supernatural, which we can clearly see based on the Hale fire. She’ll use any means to get who she wants, even exploit minors to get information, specifically Derek and Allison as well. Scott tends to side with the hunters, despite being supernatural himself. Part of it is admittedly because of his relationship with Allison, but he also just hates what he is. He always leans towards the hunter side of things, until the end of the series.
Kate is quick to claim that she had nothing to do with the fire, though she clearly did. She also doesn’t feel the need to take responsibility for her actions. She likes to play little miss innocent when it benefits her. Scott is quick to blame anyone else for his actions or things that happened to him. Like when he betrays Derek for Gerard, or even blaming Derek and Stiles for him getting bit in the first place.
Kate thinks she was right to light the Hale house on fire, killing even human children in doing so. Scott also says to Derek that she clearly had reason to do it since they were werewolves, despite not everyone in the house being a werewolf.
Kate always feels like she’s doing the right thing even when there is ample evidence to the contrary, Scott does this as well. Kate feels like she’s in the right to exploit a minor to get the information she needs to kill his entire family. Scott feels like he has the right to side against Derek all the time, even when they really should be on the same side.
Kate gathers evidence to kill his family and Scott gathers evidence to feed to Gerard. Kate sexually abuses and exploits Derek to gather the information she needs to kill his whole family or at least as many as she can. Scott pretends to be in Derek’s Pack to give information to Gerard.
Kate rapes him, Scott bite rapes him. Kate, even if Derek consented, was raping him throughout their entire ‘relationship’. He was a child and she was a fully grown woman. That’s not even taking into account that she was lying about who she was and was definitely using sex as a weapon against him to get what she wanted from him. Scott forces Derek to bite the father of the woman who burned his family alive, the man who was gunning to kill everyone. He physically forces Derek to bite Gerard. Holds him by the neck while he’s paralyzed and forces him to bite the person who was trying to kill them all.
Kate feels like the end justifies the means, Scott does often as well. Kate feels like killing as many of the Hales is a valid reason to rape and abuse a 15 or 16 year old boy. Scott always feels like taking advantage of Derek or hurting Derek is for the greater good, even when there are better ways to handle things, such as going behind Derek’s back when it came to Gerard and making Derek give him the bite.
Kate gets off on Derek's pain and suffering, Scott feels powerful when he hurts Derek. It’s pretty clear in canon how much Kate gets off on the fact that she killed Derek's whole family. Not to mention she also gets off on taking advantage of him. Also she loved stringing him up half naked to torture and cause him any kind of pain she can. Scott clearly feels a power rush when he forces Derek to bite Gerard and shoves it in his face that he betrayed him. Also he seems to slightly get off on getting Derek arrested and blaming him for Peter’s murders as well.
Kate has a Black and white view of the world, so does Scott (only admittedly a slightly different one). Kate feels like it’s her right to kill anyone who is a supernatural creature and only humans actually have rights. Scott feels like his way is always the right way, no matter how anyone feels, also he feels that somehow being humane is letting people get away with things as long as he doesn’t personally have to kill.
Kate always has an ulterior motive when interacting with Derek, Scott often seems to as well. Kate always has an ulterior motive when dealing with pretty much everyone, but it’s clear that she always has an ulterior motive when having anything to do with Derek. Scott seems to also only have anything to do with Derek with an ulterior motive. Only having something to do with him when he can get something out of it.
Kate betrays his trust in a horrible way and Scott does it as well by siding with the bad guys more often than not. Kate betrays Derek and it ends up with most of his family burning to death. Scott will more often than not side with the bad guys, betraying Derek’s trust along with many others.
Kate always acts like the hero in her story and Scott does the same thing. Kate feels like she is the hero in her story, that she did the right thing and had every right to do what she did to Derek and his family. Scott also feels like he is the hero and has every right to do whatever he wants, no matter who he hurts doing so, more often Derek and Stiles.
Kate only wanted him for what she could get from him and Scott only really cares about Derek when he needs him. Kate used Derek to get what she wanted and threw him away after. Scott will pretty much only pay attention to Derek when he can get something out of it.
Now that I have shown the parallels between Kate and Scott I will get into the canon evidence to do with the Scott side of things, since most of Kate’s canon evidence is in two scenes and we all know what she does. So we’ll focus on Scott for this part. To support the first point I will point out the scene in Magic Bullet where he tells Derek to leave him and Stiles alone or he will go to the Argents. The second point is hard to pin down an exact scene that shows it, but if you think about it you can see it throughout the series. The third point is proven in Magic Bullet when Derek takes Scott to see Peter to tell him about the fire and he looks Derek in the face and says that they had reason to burn his family alive, purely due to some of them being werewolves. There are also many points in canon that proves my fourth point, but I will only choose a few, one being him siding with Gerard, giving information to him while pretending to be on Derek’s side. The second is forcing Derek to bite Gerard and not telling him about the plan ahead of time. The third and last one I will list for this point is him leaving with Deucalion, leaving Derek under the Darach’s influence. The fifth point is pretty clear to see in the season as a whole, so I don’t know how to pick a specific scene to prove it.
The sixth point is shown in the scene where Scott grabs a paralyzed Derek by the neck, opening his mouth and forcing Derek to bite Gerard and then making him watch a body rejecting the bite once again. Which was more than likely double traumatising, since he feels the bite is a gift and also the last time we know he has to fully watch a body rejecting the bite was when he had to kill his first girlfriend. The seventh point is also pretty clear in the scene with Gerard. The eighth point is proven both when he rubs his plan with Gerard in Derek’s face after forcing him to bite Gerard and when he is quick and unapologetic about blaming Derek for the murders Peter commited, multiple times. It’s hard to pick out a specific scene to prove my ninth point, but you can see it throughout the whole series and it is also something Deaton breathes life into. The tenth point is hard to pin down a scene for in specific but Scott never really seems to trust Derek so he will frequently only associate with him when he needs something.
My eleventh point is proven by Scott working with Gerard, leaving them to work with Deucalion and working with Theo. My twelfth point is proven by the fact he likes to act like he is amazing every time he ignores a call for help only to still come in the eleventh hour to save the day. And finally my thirteenth point is proven by how he only really has anything to do with Derek when he needs help.
I think Kate might have desensitized him to getting taken advantage of and Scott thrives in that fact. Derek only truly trusts Stiles in a serious way, but he still continues to give Scott chances to be different. Though he doesn’t possibly do so until the very end. We didn’t get enough information to know for sure though. Derek is constantly used and abused, it’s easy to see that it affects him. He is healing though by the end of the series, after going away for over a year.
@softranswolves
the yasssification of my old ninjago character studies
Whatever you do, don't think about how the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch fits Halt and his childhood trauma to a T.
I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full-
FULL ANALYSIS AHEAD (disclaimer: "Remember Everything" does not belong to me)
"Dear mother, I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Dear father, forgive me. Cause in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone."
Halt talks about how Ferris was the favorite child, and how his parents fought all the time. We all know by now about Halt's tendency to blame himself for things (as seen in "The Battle for Skandia" and "Erak's Ransom"). He probably blamed himself for his parents arguing all the time - hell, he literally said that he refused to tell his parents that Ferris was actively trying to kill him because he thought that Ferris was the only thing they cared about and he didn't want to take that away from them. Even though it was his choice, Halt was a kid. He probably felt at least a little bit abandoned and betrayed that his parents didn't seem to even notice anything amiss before Halt ran away.
"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? Cause I remember everything."
Something else that is touched on in the fourth book is Halt's tendency to deflect conversations that confront him on his fears and such. It's a fairly offhand note, but it has some pretty big implications. Halt has this need to make sure that everyone else is okay, while simultaneously ensuring that no one ever sees his suffering. He is constantly shielding other people, and feels guilty when he requires that same protection.
"Dear brother, just don't hate me for never standing by you, or being by your side."
I refuse to believe that Ferris was the murderous evil twin from the start. There was probably a very large portion of heir childhood where Halt and Ferris were close, before Ferris became obsessed with the crown. That would be a good reason why Halt only suspected Ferris later on. I feel like Halt would spend a lot of time telling himself that it was something he did that sent Ferris over the edge, and he would blame himself for the betrayal.
"Dear sister, please don't blame me. I only did what I thought was truly right."
I can't be the only one who thinks that Halt always regretted leaving Caitlyn behind, but he knew it was either that or kill Ferris, which is something I don't think he would ever be capable of doing. He loved his twin too much.
"It's a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone."
I know that Halt wasn't technically alone, and he became part of a massive found family, but not being able to tell anyone about the things he went though, and the people he left behind as well as his reasoning would have been isolating - if not crushing - for anyone. Hell, no one knew his real last name or anything about his past for just about 24 years. Not even mentioning the fact that when he finally admits it, he is 41 years old, so he has hidden this for well over half his life, not counting the 17 years he actually lived in Clonmel. That is a long time to carry around huge amounts of trauma without telling anyone who cares about you.
"I feel like running away, I'm still so far from home."
This one is fairly obvious. However, it is not talked about nearly enough that Halt is a runaway. Let that sink in for a second. What do you think of when you hear the term 'runaway' in reference to a child? For most, it's the thought of a kid escaping an abusive household and living on the streets with nothing but a backpack filled with belongings. That was what Halt did at 17. Except he had to go all the way to a foreign country to escape his situation. And the only person he ever saw from home again was the person who had made him leave in the first place.
"I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in."
This is pretty much Halt's whole philosophy on showing any sort of emotion to people. He didn't smile around Will until months into his apprenticeship, and it took years until he was able to summon the courage to tell Will the truth about his mother. And again, the whole 24 years of absolute secrecy about his childhood doesn't exactly show someone that is willing to open themselves up to others.
"Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now."
Halt still blames himself for the rift between himself and Ferris, but he is also consumed by hurt and betrayal over the fact that Ferris cared more for the crown then he did his own brother, and I can't blame him even a little bit for feeling that way. Especially considering that when they do finally meet up again, Ferris shows no real sign of regret for his actions.
All-in-all, this just feels like a violently Halt-esque song. The pain and regret is something I think his character suffers a lot of, and this captures that really well.
If you made it to the end of that ungodly ramble, kudos to you because holy hell, I think I was temporarily possessed by the god of angst.