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what sucks about being fat and having the inevitable internalized fatphobia is that you end up feeling guilt from both sides at once. You're having a real dysphoric day and you start to feel bad about your weight and the moment you do the guilt hits, 'cause you know you "shouldn't" feel bad about it, and it becomes this really frustrating cycle of being mad at yourself for being fat and mad at yourself for being upset about being fat and it just sucks.