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I feel like the aftg fandom has just swung hard from one mischaracterization of Neil to another.
Yes, Neil is not an innocent little soft-boy like a lot of fans made him out to be pre-TSC, but he isn't some cold, calculated badass either.
He took out a hit on Grayson over Thai food. He doodles fox paws in his notebooks and hates vegetables. He insults FBI agents' parking jobs and he spent a bus ride staring over the back of his seat making heart eyes at his boyfriend. He manipulated the agents while eating takeout in the interrogation room. He canonically internally panics and overthinks the entire time he's attempting to manipulate anyone. He uses people's family trauma to manipulate them. He misses his mom.
Neil Abram Josten is a multifaceted character