Actually Just Took Damage From This - Blog Posts

izzybuggs

6 months ago

/ cw death , suicidal thoughts

unnamed regression (read left to right)

[Do not reupload]

A sketched ORV comic of an unknown regression from Lee Jihye's perspective.
Text:
Ljh narration: Ever since he recruited us into his party, master had never looked us in the eye.
Ljh narration: I figured he had his own reasons.
Ljh narration: I wasn't one to pry so I teased him once or twice and never again.
Ljh narration: it stayed that way even when he sat us down to tell us that he was a regressor.

Ljh narration: In the short life of mine he extended, He'd grown irreplaceable.
Ljh narration: I had too many things I could say about how many times he'd saved me.
But still
Ljh narration: Even now, he's staring at the floor.
Ljh (speaking to yjh): Which round is this one then?
Ljh narration: The question slipped out as I wondered how many times I'd died.
He replied with a number larger than I expected.

Ljh narration: Maybe he was numbed to seeing us die so many times by now.
Not that I would ever know.
Ljh narration: Bori-ya, I knew I'd never recovered.
I never wanted to find out.
Ljh narration: I found out anyway, a little too soon.

[Note: round brackets are ljh's thoughts that are not inside the drawn text boxes]
Ljh narration: I never wanted to find out,
I never
Ljh narration: (This is real) (This is fake) (This is how it is) (This is just a bad dream)
Ljh narration: I never wished to wake up so badly

Ljh narration: (I who never liked getting caught up in such thoughts)
(Thought pointless things like)
(If only I were stronger)
(If only I was better)
(was it cold when you felt yourself slipping away?)
(were you scared?)
(If only I took your place)
(Is it cold wherever you are now?)
(If only I)

Ljh narration: (I don't want you to leave) (I want to die)
Ljh narration: (I don't want to lose all of you) (I want to die)
(I don't want any of this)
Ljh narration: (Please please pleaseplease please please)
(you who had already seen me die so many times)
(surely one more just one)
(let me)

Yjh: Lee Jihye
Yjh: Lee Jihye, Lee Jihye, can you hear me
Yjh: please
Ljh narration: Oh

Ljh narration: Instead of saying something like 'I'm sorry' or 'please live on, master'
Ljh: ... can I have a hug please
Ljh narration: I said something super lame with my final breath

[Do not reupload]

Extra note:

These two panels were arranged to look like "■■" because I thought maybe her ■■ would be tied to yjh saving her and her bringing it to a close. Despite this, there is a text box awkwardly separating it, it's not so much of a satisfying ■■ for her.