Failed To Be More

“I know, I know, but hear me out. You read The Idiot, right? Right. Well, ‘Idiot’ was a very disturbing book to me. In fact it was so disturbing I have never really read very many fictions after, apart from Dragon Tattoo kind of thing. Because” - I was trying to interject - “well, maybe you can tell me about that later, what you thought, but let me tell you why I found it disturbing. Because all Myshkin ever did was good…unselfish…he treated all persons with understanding and compassion and what resulted from this goodness? Murder! Disaster! I used to worry about this a lot. Lie awake at night and worry! Because - why? How could this be? I read that book like three times, thinking I wasn’t understanding right. Myshkin was kind, loved by everyone, he was tender, always forgave, he never did a wrong thing - but he trusted all the wrong people, made all bad decisions, hurt everyone around him. Very dark message to this book. ‘Why be good’. But - this is what took hold on me last night, riding here in the car. What is - is more complicated than that? What if maybe opposite is true as well? Because, if bad can sometimes come from good actions - ? where does it ever say, anywhere, that only bad can come from bad actions? Maybe sometimes - the wrong way is the right way? You can take the wrong path and it still comes out where you want to be? Or, spin it another way, sometimes you can do everything wrong and it still turns out to be right?”

The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

“You want to protect her, I know. So do I. And I will. After you were killed.” Elisabeth and Noah | Dark

au! where margo is a high king of fillory and fen is her loyal knightess. and her lover.

when in the woods somewhere by hozier started playing i felt it

okay so.... hear me out... there is a youtube video with dark s3 bloopers and i’ve noticed something... a scene where doris comes down the stairs and there is a silhouette that kinda looks like agnes?? were they supposed to meet after all? idk i’m probably just overthinking but...

When I was alive, I aimed to be a student not of longing but of light. ― Maggie Nelson

1. Vincent van Gogh / 2. Alexander Harding / 3. Egon Schiele / 4. open house 1998 / 5. Ocean Vuong / 6. open house 1998 / 7. Leonard Cohen / 8. Alexander Harding / 9. Ocean Vuong / 10. Richard Siken / 11. Alexander Harding / 12. Richard Siken / 13. Jungho Lee / 14. Bram Stoker / 15. Alexander Harding / 16. Richard Siken / 17. Alexander Harding / 18. Don DeLillo

remember when neil perry said «i'm trapped»? that's how i've been feeling for the last week and honestly??? it's awful.

just hoping i won't end up like him.

New York City ballet production of Midsummer Nights Dream

i've had a dream where i was dating homelander and he was his usual self killing people and stuff but around me he was like a little meow meow or what do people call that guy from succession kendall jenner or smth anyways why did my brain decide to be like that it's fucking diabolical

being a russian and trying to be a part of the dark academia community is HARD

the first snow comes in the middle of october and it’s a harsh winter from november to the end of march, so you have to wear ugly jackets and a million layers of clothes if you want to make it to spring. wanna be aesthetic and mysterious, wearing turtlenecks, a coat and a nice pair of shoes? well, dying of pneumonia is also very romantic. [keep yourself warm, please]