“I know, I know, but hear me out. You read The Idiot, right? Right. Well, ‘Idiot’ was a very disturbing book to me. In fact it was so disturbing I have never really read very many fictions after, apart from Dragon Tattoo kind of thing. Because” - I was trying to interject - “well, maybe you can tell me about that later, what you thought, but let me tell you why I found it disturbing. Because all Myshkin ever did was good…unselfish…he treated all persons with understanding and compassion and what resulted from this goodness? Murder! Disaster! I used to worry about this a lot. Lie awake at night and worry! Because - why? How could this be? I read that book like three times, thinking I wasn’t understanding right. Myshkin was kind, loved by everyone, he was tender, always forgave, he never did a wrong thing - but he trusted all the wrong people, made all bad decisions, hurt everyone around him. Very dark message to this book. ‘Why be good’. But - this is what took hold on me last night, riding here in the car. What is - is more complicated than that? What if maybe opposite is true as well? Because, if bad can sometimes come from good actions - ? where does it ever say, anywhere, that only bad can come from bad actions? Maybe sometimes - the wrong way is the right way? You can take the wrong path and it still comes out where you want to be? Or, spin it another way, sometimes you can do everything wrong and it still turns out to be right?”
The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt
Two Week Notice, Leanna Firestone | Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines, Pablo Neruda | Conversations Over Sanguinaccio Dolce, I.B. Vyache | Seaside Improvisation, Richard Siken | Stick Season, Noah Kahan | I never went to that movie at 12:45, Dolly Lemk | In a Dream You Saw a Way To Survive, Clementine von Radics | Quote by Kate McGahan | Pillow Thoughts, Courtney Peppernell | Bluets, Maggie Nelson
(This isn't prompted by my real life so much as it is my love for that first song and also. blorbos.)
what am i supposed to do if i have this gift of understanding people and empathizing with them but also a curse of never forgiving and/or forgetting anything ever
going through the old childhood photos and making these was kinda therapeutic in a way that if i can’t possibly blame my younger self for all the trauma, why am i blaming myself now?
(tiktoker voice) disco elysium is a cozy game about a detective finding his way in a new society. you can read cozy book, have warm drinks, and even visit historical sites. and most importantly, remember your lost love. this game is a 9/10 for me, the atmosphere is adorable and i love how you can customize your character. have fun, cozy gamers ! <3
«everything repeats itself, as none of us are prepared to let go»
i am not. i am not prepared to let go.
i have finished the final season of dark an hour ago and now i’m sitting in my kitchen, eating chocolate pudding and crying my eyes out. i am so happy that i’ve had a chance to be a part of this journey. and what a journey it was! i was sad, i was happy, i was angry; i felt excited, i felt betrayed, i felt hopeful. i didn’t like every character. but i loved each and every one of them. they are different. they have unique stories. they make terrible mistakes. they learn and change. they feel incredibly human. i’ve been a part of this story since the first season came out, and letting it go seems very painful. starting watching every next episode felt like i’m making a step closer to some sort of weird emptiness. i’ve finished the last episode — what am i supposed to do with my life now?
the ending was so bittersweet. when jonas and martha realized that they are a glitch in the matrix, when they were erasing their own existence, it felt like losing a part of myself. they wanted to live. they wanted to be happy. they wanted for all of this to finally come to an end. and they had to pay a price. but, honestly, seeing everyone in the original world being so happy, seeng everything being exactly how it should be made me sob and shake. it felt like all of this was worth it. nothing is in vain.
i am not prepared to let go yet. but i think i will be. maybe, in 33 years.
— 𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙤𝙩 «𝙚𝙡𝙞 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧» 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙚 & 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙚.
«𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘢𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭, 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵.»
«𝘪𝘧 𝘦𝘭𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯?»
«𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪'𝘮 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯,» 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥. «𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.»
i've had a dream where i was dating homelander and he was his usual self killing people and stuff but around me he was like a little meow meow or what do people call that guy from succession kendall jenner or smth anyways why did my brain decide to be like that it's fucking diabolical
watching 2x05 of dead to me and their relationship is literally This and tbh i’m living for it